CHAPTER THREE

Memories are fading in again, they came like kaleidoscopes and they were too bright for me. I am blinded as I ran, I don't know where's my destination. All I wanted is too escape from the truth.

It was 15 years ago, a month before my 7th birthday, father left my mom. Not because he has another family. He just left because mom told so. He was insanely addicted to gambling like poker, mahjong, lottery and even cock fight. Although, during that time, I was kept by the truth. No parents ever wanted their child to witness and become problematic about marital problems. What could I help anyway?

All I ever thought was father had a business trip and he will be back at my seventh birthday. Well he did, he came the night after an hour of my party when mom was about to close the gates of our house. I saw him that's why I hugged him immediately but after that a river of blood came out from my body. I saw a dagger stabbed at my stomach. Everything stopped for that moment and then a second after I felt pain, everything went black.

A day after, I regain my consciousness. Mother told that dad was arrested and he is allegedly a drug syndicate. I wanted not to deny the truth about it because that's not the father I knew. But I was hopeless, I couldn't say a word. Even a sound. I cried silently during that time. I stayed a week at the hospital and every night, I hear mother crying furtively as if she thought I was sleeping. At hearings for the case of my father, they tried to force me to speak but they weren't successful. The case was dismissed and I never saw his face again. But before he left he said these words,

"Love can mend things broken, although it is a slow process because it needs intricate time to heal."

I wanted to ask why did he stabbed me? I wanted a reason but for that moment, I somehow hate him. I realized If he loves mom, why would they came up to that situation. Every day, I don't see mom not crying but still words don't come out up until know.

I stopped by at the edge of the ground floor near the emergency room as I gasped for air. I think, mother could not find me here. There's a lot of people passing by. I lay down to the off white painted walls as I continued to cry. I don't want mom to be fighting against someone. Whenever she does, it made me remember how she used to fight over dad's gambling habits.

"Hey are you alright?" a man came and he offered me a handkerchief.

He is wearing a nurse uniform and he is somehow having a hard time carrying the newly laundered towels. He has a good-looking face with a natural brown hair and grey eyes. I took the handkerchief he gave and went on crying again.

"Hey don't cry..." He said, "Are you lost?"

What does he think of me? A kindergarten? But somehow, I felt lost, not literally lost in the hospital but lost in life. I am like a treasure hunter without a map, trying to get off the page. Spending my life in escaping all, avoiding the truth and contented to mere solemn happiness. The thing is in my life, since I don't get the chance to speak up, my thoughts, my feelings are all stocked up. Whenever I'm hurt, no one can ease it. I grabbed my phone and type some words.

"I am mute." It said.

"I can do sign language." He said and signaled some hand signaled that confused me a little.

"I'm sorry, I don't do sign language." I typed and he reads it loudly and sounded like a kindergarten.

"Why don't you know sign language?" he asked.

I gave him a smile before answering his question. I expected that question every time I met someone new. Most of the people thought that it is recommended for all who has this kind of disability to study the signals. Well, it depends on the person. I've known some who are in born but does not know the language because they also have difficulty in remembering. Of course, in my case, mom has high hopes for my voice to be back.

"I don't want to talk about it. Maybe your name first?" I typed.

"Faber Von Sheaffer." He replied and smiled.

His name sounds familiar, like a combination of brands of pen. Faber for Faber Castell. The Von sounds a name but I'm sure it came from a luxurious pen of Faber Castell the "Gray von Faber-Castell". While the Sheaffer are ones of those expensive pens. I know such things because I am an enthusiast of pens, I collect and a bunch of them are at my room. I immediately typed at my phone and asked him,

"What are you a pen?"

"Nothing personal dude, I was named after pens. But I prefer for you to call me Faber." He exclaimed and laughed.

I laughed a little too which surprised me, I did not expect it from a long time. I saw Faber's reaction but I guessed he understood the situation clearly because he did not make a fuss about it. He's working as nurse at this hospital normally he is familiar with our conditions. Instead of interrogating me, he just pat my head and passed by me.

"I needed to go, I still have classes, studying to be a doctor is hard." I heard and left.

I was left empty but smiling at the spaced room. Light is still there and dozens of people doesn't care. In this situation, it is different. I feel something inside me that pounds hard. Something that is trivial that I wanted to dig it deeply but I don't know where to start and what to do because this is my first time to feel it. What is this feeling that makes me smile? But I still cannot bare to speak the words again.

"Oh dear Blake." I heard mom's voice and she rushed towards me.

I did not react to her hug, because I am now confused. If only I hold time, I would stop it just to ask Faber what I felt earlier with him. I know he's the only one who can answer this for he's the only one who let me feel this way. But the question is when will I see him again? What if next month, I would not see him because he has day-off or his absent. Well, I do believe in destiny but would our fate's let us be?

"Let's go home." Mom said and I gave him a nod.

We went to the car and she drove me back to where I really belong.