Song: La Mamma // Charles Aznavour

Thanks to abukhari for the idea!! :p

•••

The next morning, I woke up because I had to and not because of a nightmare. Dylan was already up, probably making breakfast for us. I turned off my alarm and got up feeling better than I had in days.

I did my business in the bathroom then moved onto my favorite part of the day– choosing an outfit. Since I had to go to the hospital to attend my meeting with the obstetrician, I chose to wear a black cropped hoodie with matching sweatpants. 

When I stepped out of my room, I almost tripped over a baby toy thrown carelessly in front of my door. I looked down the hallway and my eyes widened in alarm when I saw Céline crawling towards the staircase with determination.

Picking up the toy, I hurried towards my niece and plucked her from the floor. She was wearing the yellow sundress I bought her a week ago. She started crying once she was mid-air, but at the sight of her toy, she instantly calmed down and took it from my grasp.

Tickling her stomach, I set off in the direction of the nursery, where I was sure Rose was. Cody's cries grew louder as I neared the door, and I knocked on the already-open door before entering. Rose was stood over a changing table, a frustrated look on her face as her son squirmed around.

She glanced over her shoulder, her face filling with relief at the sight of her daughter in my arms.

"Good morning," I said, walking into the room to stand by her. I held Céline's small hand in mine and shook the toy to make a rattling noise. This caught Cody's attention, and his cries died down at the sound.

Rose took this as an opportunity to change her son's diaper before dressing him in an outfit that was similar in color to his sister's, "I don't know how you do it, hun, but they always stop crying when they see you." She sighed out.

I blew raspberries in his direction to make him giggle and shot Rose an amused glance, "You just need to distract them– plus the twins love this toy."

Once she was done, she picked him up, "It's things like this that make me sure you're going to be a great mother," She said with sincerity. My smile faltered as I followed her out of the room and I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind.

The kitchen smelt like fried eggs and Antoine sat at the countertop eating a french omelet, a reusable plastic cup full of orange juice next to him. He was dressed in some cotton shorts and a blue shirt. Rose seemed to be dressed too, and I guessed she was taking him to the park like she promised last night.

Dylan was at the stovetop, flipping an omelet onto itself as Rose waltzed around the kitchen, packing the diaper bag. My brother turned around and once he noticed me standing, he smiled. He gestured for me to take a seat on a stool and set the omelet in front of me. Then, he opened the fridge and pulled out a container full of sliced fruits. He spooned the red berry salad into a bowl and slid it onto the counter.

"Eat up," He said.

I stared at the plate of loaded omelets and then at the bowl of fruits before giving him an incredulous look, "I can't eat all of this."

"Of course you can, just pick up a fork and dig in," He replied with raised eyebrows.

"It's too much," I told him pointedly.

He crossed his arms, "You need a balanced diet, and those tiny bites of food you take aren't good for you or the baby."

Fuck. If I knew telling him would result in him breathing down my neck, I would've never opened my goddamn mouth. I averted my gaze from his challenging figure and spun on my stool to face the countertop. Choosing to ignore his piercing gaze, I pushed the bowl of fruits closer to Antoine and shot him a wink. He grinned and happily dug into the salad.

"Amber," Dylan warned. "You need to eat."

I cut off a piece of the omelet with the side of a fork before stabbing into it, "I am eating," I told him as I made a show of taking a bite of my breakfast.

He rolled his eyes but relented. I was eating, and the omelet loaded with bell peppers, tomatoes, and other fruits and vegetables was enough to satisfy me until dinnertime. Antoine was scarfing down the red fruits as if his life depended on it, and I chuckled at the sight.

"Where are you going today?" I asked the six-year-old.

His eyes lit up at the question and he swallowed the fruit before answering, "Mama and papa are taking us to the park!" He exclaimed with a grin on his face.

"Oh, that sounds like fun," I replied with a smile.

He nodded excitedly, "It is! Are you coming with us, tata? I want to show you how high I can swing."

I shook my head and feigned sadness by pouting, "Non, mon chouchou," I told him, and at the sight of his dejected expression, I tried to cheer him up. "But maybe next time, yeah? We can go on another adventure."

He perked up at the statement, "As long as the adventures don't take place during school hours," Dylan chided from behind me, and I pretend to mock him by moving my hand like a puppet and rolling my eyes. Antoine giggled and I could feel Dylan's unamused glare.

"If you're not coming with us, where are you going?" He asked as I took another bite of the omelet.

"I've got some things to do, people to see," I answered vaguely. I did not need him knowing I had a doctor's appointment– all he'd want to do is attend it too.

I heard his footsteps and then he was standing behind Antoine, assessing me to check if I was lying. 

He nodded, "I'll drop you off, then."

I looked at him, baffled, "Why would you do that when metros and busses exist?"

I've been using public transport for years now, and Dylan never had a problem with it. It was a win-win situation– he didn't have to act like a chauffeur and I didn't have him watching me twenty-four-seven.

"It's safer. There are germs lurking around and that can't be good for you when you're pregnant."

I rolled my eyes, "Dylan, I've been using public transport for the five weeks I've been pregnant for, and I'm all good." I replied smartly, making him frown.

"What does pregnant mean?" Antoine voiced out his thought and I smirked at Dylan's obvious discomfort.

"I'll tell you later if you promise me you'll take care of your siblings at the park," I replied with widened, expectant eyes.

"I promise!" He shouted making me laugh. This kid was too cute.

"Alright, go help your mom make sure she has everything for the park," I told him tilting my head in the direction Rose disappeared in. He excitedly jumped off the stool and raced in the direction of his mother.

"Amber can you just let me drop you off?" Dylan pleaded with exasperation. I gave him a once-over while debating my options. On one hand, having him take me would mean arriving to my appointment on time, but I knew that once he saw the hospital, he'd come in with me. 

He threw his hands up in the air, "Amber, I'm just going to drop you off, why are you treating this like some secret operation?"

I narrowed my eyes at him as I came up with a plan, "You drop me off and leave?"

"You're saying that like you're embarrassed to be seen with me," He said, almost like he suspected me of doing something he wouldn't approve of. "But yes, I promise."

After a moment or two of scrutinizing him, I finally nodded in agreement. He released a relieved sigh and let the corner of his lips tug up into a small smile. Then, he looked down at my plate and gave me a pointed look.

"I'm going to tell Rose I'm dropping you off. When I come back, I expect that omelet to be in your stomach." He warned and I waved him off while taking another bite out of the eggs.

•••

I knew Dylan recognized the route we were taking, but he never commented on it. Google Maps was open on my phone, and I was directing Dylan in the direction of the hospital since I refused to tell him where we were actually going. 

Once the large building came into view, Dylan shot me a look, but I pretended I didn't see him and directed him to the drop-off area. To my surprise, he didn't put up a fight and complied. He pulled up near the front entrance and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel.

"Alright," I started, pulling my purse over my shoulder. "Have fun at the park. I'll take the metro home."

He pursed his lips, "You have your insurance card?"

I squinted my eyes to try and remember. His face visibly paled at the thought that I actually forgot it and I burst out into laughter. Dylan always had to be prepped and ready for anything while I just usually went with the flow. That meant that I was occasionally late to meetings and submitted a couple of assignment days past their deadline. I completed my work to perfection though, and perfection could never be rushed.

"I have it, stop worrying," I opted to say. Yes, I did have it, but it was on my phone– he didn't have to know. I threw open the car door and stepped out. I gave him a salute before walking off into the hospital. When I glanced behind me, his car already disappeared and I released a sigh of relief.

After stepping off the elevator, I informed the nurse behind the desk of my name and my appointment. She nodded and gestured towards the waiting area, telling me the doctor will be with me in just a moment.

I nodded and pulled out my phone to read through my resumé to make sure it was good enough to submit to Fashionistique. It needed to be perfect; I wanted to stand out. Three minutes later, somebody took a seat beside me and when I looked up to glance at them, I groaned.

"Dylan, you promised," I whispered harshly but he just leaned back into the seat, seemingly unconcerned with my frustration.

"I just want to know what the doctor has to say," He said as he looked around the waiting room, patting his lap to the beat of a song we were listening to in the car.

"I'll tell you all about it," I started with narrowed eyes. "At home."

"Miss Amity, the doctor is ready to see you," The nurse told me with a soft smile, her eyes flickering between me and Dylan.

I nodded and returned the smile as I stood up. I turned around to Dylan and gave him a warning glare, "Stay here, I'll be out in thirty minutes– better yet, go to the park."

"No." He replied, getting up and walking past me to the obstetrician's office. I stared at his back incredulously and followed him into the room, making sure to close the door behind me.

My brother and the doctor were exchanging pleasantries, and I realized that this may have been the same doctor that cared for Rose while she was pregnant. Why didn't I just take the fucking bus? 

I walked up to her desk and shook her hand. I elbowed Dylan in his ribcage and smiled in satisfaction when he hissed in pain. The doctor overlooked our antics and gestured for us to take a seat as she pulled up a document on her computer's screen. While she reviewed them, I shot Dylan a glare that he didn't notice.

"Alright, Amber, I need to measure your heart rate, weight, and blood pressure," She said as she lifted herself up from her seat, gesturing over to the bed covered in a paper-like material. I nodded and followed her. Dylan watched as she did what she had to, noting everything down onto a tablet.

Once she was done listening to my heart and breathing with the stethoscope, she smiled and told me everything was done. I took a seat next to my brother and fiddled with my fingers.

"Well, Amber, although you seem to be in excellent health, there are some things that are slightly concerning," She started, looking over her notes before looking at me with a serious expression. Dylan stiffened at the statement while I tried to maintain my calm demeanor. "Your blood pressure is higher than the normal range– especially for someone your age."

"Judging by your blood test results and physical examination, I can rule out dietary problems, and your family history doesn't reveal any potential hereditary causes. The only logical conclusion I've come up with is that you're under a lot of stress." She told me in an inquisitive tone, obviously hinting at me to tell her that she was correct.

Well, yes doctor, I've been under a lot of stress lately. What with being held at gunpoint and robbed by who I thought was 'the one'. Not to mention I live in constant fear of dying now. I've also been getting a maximum of four hours of sleep lately, and I wake up from nightmares that make me scared to go back to sleep.

"Things haven't necessarily been going my way lately," I opted to say. Dylan stared at me while the doctor gave me a sympathetic smile and nodded.

"Well, you'll have to develop some methods that could help you relax and reduce your stress levels. We have an excellent psychiatrist–"

I shook my head, "That's alright doctor, I'll figure it out myself." I said as politely as I could, ignoring Dylan's burning gaze. I was going to figure this shit out on my own– I didn't need more people breathing down my neck.

She looked at me hesitantly but nodded nonetheless, "We'll be monitoring your blood pressure, to make sure it goes down," She said with a pointed look before glancing at the computer screen. "Your blood tests have also revealed that your protein and iron levels are low. These are important for your baby's development, Amber, so we're going to discuss your diet– what you have to make sure you eat, and what you have to avoid."

And with that, she jumped into what I should be consuming daily. Dylan was listening to her with open ears while I watched her lips move. She was talking about vitamins and minerals, and what foods were rich in the nutrients I needed, and I listened half-heartedly. My brother would occasionally glance at me to make sure I was paying attention, then he'd turn back and nod to show her he was listening.

"I'll make sure her diet is balanced, doctor," Dylan spoke up, shooting me a knowing look. I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness before giving the doctor a smile to tell her I heard her loud and clear.

"It's a good thing you have a support system, Amber. It's better to deal with your pregnancy surrounded by loved ones than all alone," She commented. I glanced at Dylan through the corner of my eye and saw him smiling at the doctor gratefully.

Right.

Brushing her comment aside, I outstretched my arm for a handshake, "Thank you for your time, doctor." I said with a polite smile. She nodded and let go of my hand before shaking Dylan's. I picked up the prescription of iron supplements and stuffed it into my purse.

He thanked her too, and we wordlessly left her office. I ignored his worried glances as I thought over the appointment. Stress, stress, stress– of course, I was fucking stressed. I wasn't expecting myself to be pregnant, and the thought of giving birth to a baby in eight months had my brain short-circuiting. How the fuck could I raise a child if I was scared all the fucking time?

I connected my phone to Dylan's car and played a song. From my peripheral vision, I saw him open his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but after thinking about it, he clamped it shut. I played with the ends of my hair, occasionally twirling it around my finger as I glanced out the window.

Was it going to be a girl or a boy? Did I even want to know?

"Bee, is there anywhere else you want to go?" He asked, and I was surprised that that's what he decided to say. I was expecting a lecture on my health and diet.

"No," I replied through a breath. His fingers drummed the steering wheel and he shot me another glance.

"Are you sure? Your closet is pretty empty– do you want to go to the mall?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. Of course, my closet was empty. When I moved, I took ninety-five percent of my closet with me– my clothes were my number one priority. Now, they stole every single thing away from me, the things that I cared for the most, and I was left with the five-percent that I rarely wore. Most of them consisted of gowns I knew I would never wear again, while the rest were very casual clothes I left here.

Minutes replied and I still didn't reply, "A new mall recently opened up; maybe you'll like the stores they have." He coaxed, giving me a smile.

"I don't want to buy myself anything," I told him, my voice coming out thick. The words sounded abnormal coming out of my mouth. I lived to shop, but I just didn't feel like it anymore. Why would I buy new things and then have them stolen from me again?

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and thinned his lips, "Alright. What do you want to have for lunch today? Maybe we can bust open the grill and make some burgers." He voiced out his thoughts.

I felt bad for acting so closed off, but I just felt like I needed some space to think. Think about the robbery, think about Adam, think about becoming a mother. I've rarely had time to process things– most times I wanted to shove things to the back of my mind. Dylan was trying to persuade me to openly talk about my problems, but I wanted to come to terms with everything on my own.

"Sounds good," I replied, reaching over to turn up the volume of the radio.

"Y a tant de larmes et de sourires, à travers toi, toi, toi la mamma." The French singer's voice drowned out the tense silence, allowing me to look through the window and clear my head.

Just for a while.

•••

When we got home, Dylan said something about preparing the patties for the burgers and I nodded and rushed up to my room. Rose and the kids were still out in the park, and guilt started to set in when I realized how Dylan missed out on time with his family because of me.

The door to my bedroom was locked, I made sure of it three times, but the air in my room felt thick, and I felt like it was suffocating me. I opened my window, and when I glanced outside, I remembered how I brought down my guitar a few days ago and played.

It was therapeutic, and it helped calm me down.

I got up from my mattress and draped the guitar strap around my body, moving the guitar so it hung on my back like a backpack. I unlocked the door to my bedroom and walked down the hallway to retrieve the cables I needed. I rushed downstairs and placed them by the banister before going back to the music room to carry the amplifier.

With two hands on the bottom, I carefully walked down the stairs. Dylan was just rounding the corner to make his way upstairs when he saw my guitar. With furrowed eyebrows, he glanced up the staircase, and once he saw me with the pretty heavy amplifier, his eyes widened in alarm.

He took the piece of equipment from my arms and gave me a fierce, yet worried, glare, "Amber, these things are fucking heavy. You can hurt your back." He scolded as we descended the stairs.

I ignored him and picked up my guitar, the cables and the Bluetooth speakers, before walking to the backdoor, Dylan hot on my heels. I opened the sliding door for him and we walked down to the backyard. He set the amplifier down where I had it last time.

"Thank you," I said softly and he gave me a smile before ruffling my hair. I swatted his hand away and set everything up the way I did last time.

The next fifteen minutes were spent with me messing around with some chords as I played over the music playing out my speaker. I heard the backdoor slide open since my music wasn't as loud as a week ago, and I guessed it was Dylan checking up on me until I heard the obnoxious voice.

"Amby, your favorite person is here!" Nick yelled from behind me, and when I glanced over my shoulder, I was surprised to see Isaac with him and Dylan. I continued strumming the strings as they took a seat in front of me.

I stared at the semi-circle of men and raised a brow. Nick stared at the guitar and listened to me play before he opened his mouth, "You know, Amby, you might be better than Dylan."

Dylan reached over Isaac and hit his best friend upside the head, eliciting a small chuckle from me and Isaac.

"I said might," He whined, rubbing the back of his head.

"So, my love," Isaac started with a shit-eating grin. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled at the nickname, "I'm alright," I replied. I knew he was referring to my pregnancy, and I appreciated him not making it obvious that he knew. I haven't told him that Dylan found out.

"Why wouldn't she be?" Nick questioned through a snort. "Amber, here, is knight-material. You can lightly slap her, and she'll decapitate you in retaliation."

I smiled at his description, feeling warmth spread through me. Sure, Nick was annoying, but I loved having him around. He always relieved tension and found a way to make me feel happy.

Isaac looked at his brother, "Maybe that's because your definition of 'lightly slapping'," He air quoted. "Is the complete opposite."

Nick shot him an offended look and shoved him, sending him toppling onto Dylan, who was staring at Isaac with a calculating expression, "You visit me for the first time in years, and you decide to embarrass me in front of our guests?"

Isaac kicked his brother's knee as he pushed himself off of Dylan, "This isn't your house, you idiot. We're their guests."

Nick's eyes narrowed and he looked ready to attack Isaac. Isaac, on the other hand, was staring back at his brother with a triumphant smile, almost like he won a battle. Dylan's eyes flickered between me and Isaac and then his eyes narrowed.

"Wait a minute," He started, successfully grasping our attention. "Does he know?"

"Know what?" Nick voiced out.

"Yup," I replied at the same time as Nick. I glanced at Isaac and shot him a playful wink, "I couldn't keep it away from my love, now, could I?"

"Keep what away?" Nick chimed in again, looking like a lost puppy.

"You told him before you told me?" Dylan exclaimed, clearly offended he wasn't the first to know. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics– he really was starting to act like Nick.

Isaac shrugged, "What can I say– I'm her favorite." He said, joining in on the fun.

Dylan's face scrunched up in disgust and he shot him a glare, but Isaac didn't look the least bit scared. If anything, the sight was amusing.

"Told him what? What the fuck aren't you telling me?" Nick shouted over all our voices. I glanced at him. He was looking at the three of us with desperation. He could never stand not being the center of attention. Nick had to know everything and had to be the first to know. If he was left out of anything, he threw a fucking fit.

"Nick, you're thirty-six. Fucking act like it," Isaac chided and Nick shoved him by the face this time. Isaac got a mouthful of grass and dirt, and he spat it out while glaring daggers at his brother.

He looked at me with wide eyes, "Amby, come on, please tell me."

"I am with child," I stated, looking him directly in the eyes.

His nose crinkled, "Like, pregnant?"

"No, as in, she has a literal fucking child with her. How am I twelve years younger than you?" Isaac commented incredulously.

"You were a fucking accident," Nick said seriously. Isaac's jaw dropped at the way his brother chose to respond, but Nick ignored him and looked back at me with wide eyes. "So you're pregnant?"

I chuckled at his excitement and nodded.

He grinned and pulled out his phone, "I can finally put my fucking list to use now."

I furrowed my eyebrows and tilted my head in confusion, "List?" I questioned loudly.

Dylan rolled his eyes, "No one in their right mind would take any of your suggestions."

"Alright, Amby," He said, scrolling through his phone in search of the list. "How do you feel about naming your baby Merlin?"

I blinked, "Like the wizard?" I questioned, looking between Nick and my brother in disbelief. Nick nodded his head and I couldn't believe I had to vocally express my disagreement.

His face fell, but then he perked up again, "Alright how about Marijuana? Mary for short."

Isaac snorted at the name and I stared at Nick with furrowed eyebrows, "What if it's a boy?"

Nick pondered the question and looked at the name a second time before he snapped his fingers, "Juan."

"I'm not naming my child after a drug, Nick," I deadpanned.

"It's a plant too, but alright," He complained and looked down at the list again. 

I stopped him before he could open his mouth again, "Nick, I hope you're genuinely offended when I tell you that your list of names fucking suck. If you ever adopt a kid, I honestly hope they don't let you name them."

His jaw dropped, "I see your hormones don't make you any nicer."

"They don't mess with my ability to inflict harm on you either," I challenged with a raised brow. He clamped his mouth shut after cursing me out under his breath, but I pretended not to hear him.

Dylan clapped his hands, "Alright, Rose is five minutes away, help me bring everything out so I could start on lunch."

With that, Nick got up to lend his assistance, though I don't doubt he made everything harder for Dylan, while Isaac laid down on the grass and listened to me play the guitar. Rose stepped out to the backyard and placed Céline and Cody by me. Antoine went to watch his dad grill the patties while Rose went to fry some potatoes and make a salad.

The rest of the day was spent eating lunch (yes, I finished my entire meal), and hanging out in the backyard. Isaac was a footballeur, and he challenged his brother to a game. Nick was annihilated and recruited the help of Dylan, who couldn't manage to score a goal either. Antoine was on Isaac's side, and everytime he kicked the ball into the makeshift net, he and Isaac would burst into a bad dance.

Rose, on the other hand, was sitting beside me and telling me all about how Dylan fucked up multiple times when she was pregnant with the twins, who were sitting on each of our laps. The backyard was filled with laughter and complaints from the two grown men, and as I looked around, I couldn't help but smile.

Maybe telling them was the best thing I could've done.

•••

– 22/06/20

What's your fav TV show? (Mine is, without a doubt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine).

Y'all, those names that I listed are names people actually named their child.

Anywho, expect a half-assed bonus chapter for DWI tomorrow (Amber's POV) :p