I look up at my parents who are watching my boyfriend cry in my arms.  They look concerned but not shocked.  They knew.  I can see it. Why didn't they tell me?  I could have gone to him so long ago.  I would have switched schools in a heartbeat, I would have done anything to be with him. I can't stand this feeling. I don't understand.

I'm holding back my frustration at the situation right now.  All of the pain and longing I endured for the last four years. All of the feelings of betrayal and abandonment that I went through. I didn't have to go through them! My parents could have told me. I would have known why he wasn't at the school we promised to go together. I would have known why his family suddenly left the house he spent his whole life in. I would have looked for him!

Right now though, it's not about me and my feelings. The man that I love needs me. He needs to know that one thing in his life is still there for him. I press our heads together and massage his head with my fingers. I place another kiss on his head and rock him slowly.

"My handsome man, let's go upstairs huh?"

I pull away and look at him with a soft smile.

He manages to make eye contact with me again and nods his head yes.  I help him stand and wrap my arm around his waist as we walk back to my room.

"Mae, can you bring up some snacks and drinks please?"

"Of course dear." I nod my head at her then turn my full attention back to Forth.

I finally get him upstairs, he's a bit bigger than I am and a lot heavier.  Apparently this situation has made him completely helpless and I have to practically drag him to my room.  By the time I get him on the bed I'm completely worn out.

Usually his height and build would be sexy as hell but right now not so much.

I'm looking down at him wondering what he's gone through these last five years.  How sad he must have been. How alone he must have felt. How disappointed he must have been feeling like everyone he loved had abandoned him.

Truthfully I don't even know when anything happened. He left five years ago for college then didn't return for summer break. When I went the following year he wasn't there. Not even enrolled in the school. I was angry. If he didn't want to be with me he could have told me. He didn't have to go to such lengths to get away from me! Now I feel likesuch a fool for having those thoughts.

Looking at him, my heart aches.  As much as I suffered he went through more.  I want to hold him and comfort him.  I want him to know that I won't leave him ever again. I want him to know that still love him more than anything. 

My eyes focus on him when I see his head turn towards me.

"Don't look at me." He says quickly covering his face.

"Why, you don't think I know what you look like."

"No Kit, just don't look at me right now ok?  I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what? Like a man whose been crying because he lost his family? Like a man who's been crying because he thought he might have lost a chance to be with the one he loves? Do you think that makes you look weak? I just cried in front of you too, do you think that makes me weak?"

"No. That's not what I mean.  I don't think you're weak for crying. But it's different."

"Why?" I ask with an annoyed tone.

"Kit." There's pleading in his voice.

"Why?!" I yell.

"Because I'm the man!" He explodes.

"I'm the one who's supposed to protect and provide for you!  I'm the one who's supposed to be strong so you can feel safe to do everything you want to do! I'm the one you're supposed to be able to come to when you feel weak!" He's pacing and his hands are everywhere as if they're trying to communicate too.

"But if I'm weak, who do you have?" He whispers as he sinks onto the bed covering his head with his hands. He slowly slides them down over his face.

"If I'm weak...." I shut him up by kissing him.

I kiss him passionately so that he can feel what I'm feeling and then I pull away and look at him with an angry expression.

"Asshole! I'm a man too. What makes you more of a man? The fact that you're taller? Or is that you're a year older?  What exactly about you makes you more of man than me?"

The twinkle is back and so is the smirk.  He drags me across the bed to him by my hips.  He keeps his hands in place and is now looking into my eyes.

"Yes I am bigger and older but what makes me the man in our relationship is that I....am.... the top." Then he smiles and kisses my nose.

I push him away.

"Fuck you asshole! What happened to 'Oh Kit our positions don't mean anything?' or 'Kit just because you're the bottom doesn't make you any less of a man!' That's what you said right?"

"Ah.(he chuckle softly) Well I lied didn't I? You're the bottom so of course you're my wife. How could you not know that?" I'm going to hit his stupid face.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? I am going to kick your ass."

I go to punch him but he easily grabs my fist and pulls me to him securing me in place with one hand holding my fist to his chest and the other arm around my waist. He bites his bottom lip then kisses me.  Damn him. He pulls away and looks deeply into my eyes.

"I love you Kit."

"Yeah, well you're lucky that I love you too." I look down at our hands.

"Asshole." I whisper out rolling my eyes.

Forth laughs and it's music to my ears.  Seeing him broken like that was almost too much to bear.  I guess I am the wife since my main concern has always been his emotional well-being while his was my personal safety and making sure that I have everything I want or need.

My husband.

A knock on my door has us both looking in that direction.  My mom walks in with snacks and drinks.  She smiles at us and pats Forth on the head after giving me the tray.

"Everything better?" She asks quietly.

"Hmmm. Yes it's getting better." Forth answers.

"See we told you it would be ok." She gives a reassuring smile.

She turns to leave. I pass the tray to Forth and stand up.

"How long have you known?"

She turns and around and looks at me confused.

"How long have you known about Forth? Why didn't you say anything? Why did you let me suffer like that knowing I was so lost without him?!"

"Kit don't" Forth says as he grabs my arm.

"Don't what?" I shake off his hand and turn back to my mother.

"They didn't know. Hell I didn't know what was going on when my mom dragged me out of school and moved us to the other side of the country. Everything went from fantastic to chaos in an instant." A sad expression crosses his face that he shakes off quickly.

"Don't be mad at them, they just found out last week. That's probably why they let me stay and see you. Believe me they weren't this friendly when they first saw me. "

"You really didn't know?" I'm looking at my mom who is walking back to me.

She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my chin. Damn I hate being short.

"If we had known we would have done something.  We would never have let you boys suffer like that if there was anything that we could do about it."

I hug her tightly.

"Sorry Mae. I know that. I'm sorry."

"No Kit don't be sorry.  This is a lot to process.  I'm glad you guys are making up." She heads to the door but leans back and looks at us.

"And Kit dear, you are the wife.  You always have been." She giggles as she disappears.

Forth's deep laughter fills the room as my face flushes red.  I really hate them right now.