Author: Elizabeth_TheGreat

Summary: "Travel to the desolute world as we will explore the tragedy of Maria Bertha, who she considered as nothing due to autism. Even when she met and fantasized about Christopher Mark, she still considered him as her great enemy.

As time passed by would she realise the bright side of her life? Or would Mark's complex could drag her to a dangerous consequence?"

The summary claims that it's a story about an autistic girl that falls in love with a guy.

Reviewer's Remarks: Honestly, the first chapter was good. I liked the stories idea, because in the past I've seen only two stories with a simmilar plot.

I was struggling to understand the story because the everything was happening too fast: at one three lines paragraph the main character is sleeping and in another she was heading through the school hallway.

Another detail that I would like to point out is Mark's and Bertha's realationship. To me it looked a bit unrealistic - stuff doesn't happen so fast in reall life!

The story has a lot of potentional. The plot is interesting and it appeals to the people with strict parents (such as me). I loved the realistic representation of  Bertha's behaviour in the school, but I wanted it to be more descriptive.

Rating (out of five):  3

A note to the author: I loved your story's idea, but you rush events! Try adding more descriptive scenes (what the character looks like, what the setting looks like and etc). When you rush the events (like with Mark's and Bertha's realationship... Mark - on his first day at school - knows A LOT about Bertha (STALKER ALERT!!!)) It becomes difficult to read. I suggest you add more description.

Link: http://my.w.tt/UiNb/8B2R48JdEu

Reviewer: Alan247