Author: ThatIntrovert

Title: Depression Diaries

Summary: (NOT INCLUDED)

Reviewer's Remark: Firstly this story has no summary, I don't understand how the writer expects the readers to get a clue of what the book is all about, the most important part of a book is the summary.

I love talking more about plots and less of grammatical errors, the writer has an amazing plot it is a story about a girl that is stuck in a terrible family and she clearly has no friends and the only thing that understands her more than herself is her diary. When you starting to tell a tale about depression two questions pop up in your mind and that is, is my story an awareness platform to tell the readers that depression is a slow killing disease? Or is my story an encouragement platform for those suffering from depression? I tell you depression is a very delicate topic and many writers try to avoid because it only puts you in pensive mood so kudos to the writer for deciding to write on that.

I sincerely feel that the Author should try to add more chapters to book, it might not have a million reads or votes yet but a good story would get it in time.

A note to the Author:

Your story led to a part where Daniel began to take interest in Mae and you never stated the reason why, For example I would have started like

"The students of AZ class were engrossed in the assignment given to them by their lanky teacher, the teacher was busy going around checking the work done by the students thereby keeping some of them in check. The giggles from the so-called bad boys at the back of the class disturbed the serene environment sometimes it makes you wonder what they really thought of themselves no one ever tried to question their authority not even the teachers they were even more popular than the principal.

The exercise was not going on well for Daniel, one of the jocks in the class as he was completely restless scared that the teacher might disgrace him in front of the class, he decided to paint anything and that did not to work out well tool it was clear the paintbrush was not his friend that day, he decided to look around the class to see what the others were doing then his eyes caught up with an old classmate he never really had the time to talk with, Mae."

That is what I expected but you made it look like you were in such a hurry to finish the book, you might have a lot of ideas in your head but the way you coordinate it so that the readers can understand what you were thinking is what really matters.

Also there is part you said something about Meg, is Meg the name of the diary? Or is she writing those letters to post to Meg? Well I think you should be clear on that too. The story is still short and it needs a lot of building and that requires a lot of posting. Good luck with that.

Rating(out of 5) : 2

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/74555709-depression-diaries-wattys2016

Reviewer: randrew934