Part 28 — The Knife, Explained

Zap was flipping a knife in the kitchen when he noticed Xin slouching toward the sofa, panting. "What happened with you?"

Trying to breathe, she replied. "I...may have...failed...to bypass...security."

"Ah, the entrance, I take it? Machine guns and bazookas and whatnot?"

"Ye...s..."

"I mean, I did try to stop you from finding out, so I can't take any of the blame." Zap put the knife back on the kitchen counter. "Did you get hurt?"

"I don't think so. I mean, I'm really tired, but I don't think I'm injured."

"Good to hear." As Zap said this, Azyra was walking down the steps. "Hey, I just realized that this is a nice, two-story apartment. How much is rent?"

"A couple hundred..."

"That's it?"

"...Thousand..."

"Really?"

"No. It's a couple thousand. Two or three."

"That's pretty cheap for a place like this..."

"Well, it's not as big as an actual house, remember."

"Right...still though..."

"Wasn't your old apartment much better than this?"

"So it was, but it wasn't as clean as this." Azyra began walking back up the stairs. "You made me talk too much. I'm taking a nap."

Zap laughed. "Have fun." Once Azyra left, Xin, with her energy back, asked, "I noticed you were flipping a knife. Can we talk about that again?"

"You already know about it, don't you?" Zap asked, confused as to why she wanted to hear it again.

"I do, but I think you could've clarified some things a lot more," Xin replied.

Zap picked up the knife again. "Well, for one thing, I don't really care too much about it anymore. However, the regret is still with me, and it probably always will."

Xin fidgeted around with a pillow. "That doesn't answer my question, though. Why my knife, of all things, too?"

"If you recall, before we bought Azyra her phone, all the craziness, I used your knife a little bit. I hit a bird out of the air—"

"Impressive, I guess, but what?"

"—and I did a little stabbity stabbing."

"On who?"

"Scientists."

Xin tried to remember why the hell Zap would need to stab scientists, but she couldn't picture any reason. "Okay, but what's with all the trauma?"

"Well, I haven't told anyone about this..." Zap breathed. "Sometimes your hand goes the wrong way, and sometimes you make mistakes. Sometimes you make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes are fatal. Sometimes you accidentally kill your friend Markus, who just wanted to visit you after a year." Zap dropped to a sitting position, feeling weak. "Sometimes you're sad because you killed your friend Markus on accident, because he saved your life a year ago, and now you accidentally take his away.

"His father has yet to know, and I hope he doesn't find out it was me. Markus' father is a good one. But of course it doesn't fucking matter anymore, because I killed off his son." Zap buried his face in his hands.

Xin looked down at the curled up guy sitting on a kitchen floor. "You never told me it was Markus. You just said you hit someone passing by, and I thought it was just some random civilian. Also, you never said they died. I was confused because I didn't expect you to care about someone like that."

"Yeah, I guess I'm heartless, killing people and whatever the hell."

"Well, not exactly heartless. I mean, you could be living alone in this apartment, you know."

Zap looked up, having clearly masked whatever emotion he may have been feeling. "I was for a while, because someone decided to move out without further notice."

"I left sticky notes all over the apartment. What the hell do you mean. And yes, I guess I did kind of do that, and I..." Xin looked up. "I'm not fucking sorry. I don't care."

"And then Azyra left for a bit..."

"Well, she came back eventually. On her own, unlike someone else..."

"Who could that be?" Zap asked, sarcastically.

"Shut up. I raised that idea. Anyway, as I was saying, you might be heartless in some cases, but not in others. It's like you're a mixed balance."

"That sentence doesn't help or hurt the situation..."

"Do shut up before I accidentally kill you."

"Mm." Zap pocketed Xin's knife. He stood up. "Well, I should head upstairs to clear my thoughts."

"Do what you want. That knife is still mine."

"You won't get it back for a few days..."

"I know how to use the frying pan."

"To cook? Please show me."

Xin stomped toward the kitchen while Zap hurried up the stairs.

(The end of chapter 28. This part has been drafted for a million years and it's finally done lmao)

(Idk if I can fit this in 30 parts. And if I can't, I need to hurry up anyway, because this is chapter 195 of the book. Damn, we're almost done with this already? Geez...)