I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

Now I know what you're thinking, you're probably thinking this is going to be a depressing complaining chapter. But it's not.

It's just a little realization thing that I've been going through. It may sound depressing, but I'm not sad. I'm kind of a little relieved.

I've been feeling like I'm not being true to myself or any of you.

Now listen, I'm not saying that I'm being fake with my feelings, those are real. But I feel like I'm trying to fit in with everything just to be noticed by somebody.

I feel like I'm just trying too hard to be someone I'm not.

And it's a little frustrating for people to have to go through this with me and telling me that I'm acting fake when I am really just acting fake asf.

And I know that a simple sorry isn't going to cut it or whatever. I just need to stop.

Like, I feel like I do this because I'm afraid of being rejected by others but of course, it's natural. Not everyone is going to like me or see me as a friend, but I'm just too childish to see that sometimes.

And I know that others see it too, and maybe, just maybe, I hope it makes them maybe the slightest bit of content about me realizing this.

So, to all of the people I've been acting fake to, I'm really sorry.

It's sounds dorky and maybe insincere, but I mean it this time. I've never apologized to the people I've annoyed by being fake. And I'm now a little more happy realizing that all I need to do is be myself.

Being yourself feels better, so why cloud it up with lies?

I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest. I hope you understand. I'm just afraid that I'm losing people because of me being not true to myself, let alone to others. So, I'm sorry if I inconvenienced any of you. I just needed to clear my head a bit.

Thank you if you listened to me and understand. ^^

~Étaín