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𝕂𝕖𝕪:
ℂ - 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕀'𝕞 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕗 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 - 𝕖𝕩 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕 - 𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕙𝕖/𝕙𝕚𝕞
𝔹 - 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕  𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕤𝕙𝕖/𝕙𝕖𝕣
ℍ - 𝕒 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕 - 𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕙𝕖/𝕙𝕚𝕞
𝕋 - 𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕤 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕣 - 𝕙𝕖/𝕙𝕚𝕞
𝕊 - '𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕' 𝕠𝕗 𝕤𝕒𝕗𝕖𝕘𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 - 𝕤𝕙𝕖/𝕙𝕖𝕣
ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤 𝕀'𝕞 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕠 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕙

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ℙ𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕘𝕖𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕖 𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕡𝕖𝕠𝕡𝕝𝕖 𝕚𝕟𝕧𝕠𝕝𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕒𝕤 𝕀 𝕕𝕠 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕤𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕥

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In all honesty I did not expect to do another rant on this however I'm frustrated so yeah.

Basically I choose to do the healthy thing and completely move on from it and forget about it because T has done enough separating me and C and we won't work together again, and in all honesty I want it dropped.

However T had said he had to take it to safe guarding because it was about consent and boundaries. Which I was fine with, he's only doing his job.

So today I had a talk with S about the whole situation and my god she didn't even hide the fact she was completely bias to C's side, not even neutral probably because C is known as a good student with good grades.

But S has the audacity to excuse C's actions towards me as he's special needed he doesn't properly understand.

But I have verbal dyspraxia which influences the way I talk and able to speak and I also have dyslexia.

I know you cannot use special needs as an excuse, the person won't learn that way if you allow that person to get away with everything because their special needed, in truth you need to explain in depth to them what they did was wrong and teach them how not to repeat it again so then that behaviour isn't repeated again.

And it was all honest disgusting to hear. That type of language is an encouragement to that behaviour.

However it was the fact S had completely ignored me, I had to keep explaining my side of the story, certain points over and over again because she kept repeating the same question and that got me frustrated and due to my verbal dyspraxia I started to get upset and which had nearly brought tears to my eyes. S had used that to say this situation affects me negatively to and that she needs to sort it.

S had said that C had kept looking at my message to him, which I had spent more then an hour to write to ensure it was properly explained to him, pouring my heart out. And that he didn't understand where I was coming from and that that message have been affecting him negatively because he can't understand.

S had excused his actions by stating he doesn't understand the concept of compromises, boundaries and consent (in a non-sexual way). Which I found disgusting, C has roughly the same level of special needs as me the only difference was he was homeschooled for 4 years. C is 18, even with special needs he should understand those concepts, those things because it is taught to everyone and hell collage has a course to teach that sort of stuff that everyone has to attend. Even if he can't understand it fully he should atleast have a basic understanding about it and the fact that consent and boundaries do not only relate to sexual situations.

The only time special needs can be seen as a reason for someone to not understand it, is those who can't live by themselves, those who brains can't take in too much knowledge perphaps due to brain injuries or problems. Or those who have underdeveloped brains. But there are bunch of times where there's an exception because of the person's medical history and situation. I know that, I acknowledge that.

However I know someone whose special needs affect them with their daily life 10x more then me and C and they know and understand those concepts, hell he even is incredibly smart and he is a nice guy. That guys attends the same college as me and C.

So the college can't use that as an excuse, I know everyone with special needs has their area of difficulty to their own as everyone's special needs to affect them differently.

However, boundaries and consent in every form they come in are a basic thing to understand, if C has a lack of understanding with that I'm baffled.

And because I  was frustrated I had agreed to a meditation between me and C hosted by S on Wednesday.

So I allow myself to have all of lunch and my independent study time to think it over and decided that I had changed my mind on the meditation.

So I emailed S, explaining why I had changed my mind on the topic.

And S replied saying she didn't say C was special needed but had additional needs and she wasn't using it as an excuse for C. The mix-up between special and additional needs is fine, everyone mixes up there words and then she states it affects his understanding of the situation (suuuuure he's struggling it's not consent or boundaries in a sexual way and using his personality as an excuse for why he doesn't understand the concept of compromise is surely on big deal). Then she apologised that I see her as someone that doesn't care and said it's quiet the opposite and then stated she was happy for me to come to her to seek clarification in what was said during our meeting and what her intentions are to get it resolved. Slightly felt I was attempted guilt tripped on some parts but that might be from my frustration at the moment.

And then I replied saying that the special and additional needs might have been a mix-up of words and that I wouldn't change my mind about the meditation between me and C, about not doing it and because I've done the best I can do to explain the situation, my side of the story to C over text because when I use my voice (usually my preffered method of explaining things) he doesn't understand or listen to me properly and he wouldn't understand my words properly which would frustrate me due to the fact that I would be explaining it to the best of my abilities so it wouldn't benefit either of us. And stated that C would need to be educated on those topics to avoid this situation happening again with another person.

So yeah frustration about it is fun, I just wanna move on because I'm now don't have it on my mind and I have been in a positive mindset since I dropped the drama and not focus on it.

I feel slightly guilty for feeling a bit please that C saw my message to him as harsh and the fact that he keeps looking at it and feel negative about it because he doesn't understand the concept of boundaries and consent being a non-sexual way and the fact that he doesn't understand compromise. Why does it feel slightly, no fully satisfying knowing all that, that it's messing with him because he can't understand or comprehend the reasons why.

Why is it satisfying knowing that? I know I shouldn't but I do and it feels good.

But yeah frustration led me to type all of this so yeah have an vent about this situation with C again.

Hope you all have a good day and a wonderful week. Thanks for taking time to read these vents, I'm just thankful I have somewhere where I can vent and people can place their opinions and advice to me about these situations I somehow get in and the feelings I have about the situation.

So thank you for reading these vents, I really appreciate it. And I do genuinely hope you all have a good day and weeks to come.

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