i feel the cold again,

i feel alone again....

________________________________

"serenity...are you okay?"

i exhaled , blowing out the smoke the joint in my hand attempting to enjoy the peace.

"of course i am"

"but im worried about you "

i rolled my eyes.

"you havnt been yourself ever since-"

"selena ,when have i ever been myself?" i asked laughing taking another blow.

"i hate what your doing to yourself " her voice cracked ," youre killing yourself and day by day y-"

"shut the hell up with the sappy shit, alright? im fine"

"why do you continuously lie through your teeth?"

"im not lying. i said i was fine. in other words im happily depressed"

"happily depressed?"

"I know it sounds dumb, but even though I'm far from happy , there's a lot of things I have to be happy about and im ok with this. "

"b-but-"

"if you're going to continue to be a Debby Downer , please exit left. youre killing the vibes"

"what vibes!?!?! "

i stood up from bean bag id been sitting in and walked to end of the balcony and looked down at the city below us.

"do you see the beautiful lights? do you hear the music coming from the streets? do you not see the beauty right infront of you"

she looked over the edge of balcony.

"i never noticed..."

"well i wouldn't expect you too since youre always in my ass 25/8"

shed nudged me a little and told me to shutup.

im not the same person i was a year ago , but i needed her to okay with that.