Book Title: The Cursed Mask

Author: MoonJin_29

Reviewer: Anika

• TOTAL MARKS- ①⓪⓪

|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
5/5

There are huge number of interaction between the author and the readers

|- 10 ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ.
9/10

The theme of the cover perfectly matches the mood of the plot. The image of Seokjin is great and the eye design is very attractive making the cover look very eye-catching. The position and choice of every font are perfect and attractive as well.

|- ⑤ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ.
3/5

The description is short, showing brief dialogues exchanged between the characters which gave insights about the plot. The plot seems rare and thrilling so it is very attention-grabbing. Also use only one exclamation mark to indicate shouting and yelling.

|- 10 ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ.
-8/10

The title is dark and rare which makes the reader curious enough to check the story out. It is relevant to the plot. Remove 'KSJxReader' because It's not important.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴘʟᴏᴛ.
-6/10

The plot is rare and very interesting. Seokjin is born with a curse, if someone looks at his cracked face, they instantly die, hence he needs to find a girl who can lift the curse. The journey to achieve his goal to survive was very short in the narration of the story as he found the girl and she believed him way too fast. In other words, the pace became too fast. The exposition of the story is really great, it gave a lot of cliffhangers and shocks but when he grew up, some incidents weren't interesting like before.

•|- ②⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴏᴄᴀʙᴜʟᴀʀʏ.
-12/20

There are few vocabulary, preposition and punctuation mistakes,

Ellipsis:-

Ellipsis is 3 dots added at the end of sentence to indicate nervousness or trailing off. Less or more than them aren't correct and unacceptable. Here is the list of mistakes you have done in this case,

1. Chapter 2,
I assure you don't have to worry so much....

2. Chapter 3,
"Hmm.... Looks like you don't believe in God"

3. Chapter 4,
He was the first person to see your child's face....

5. Chapter 5,
At least this is what you will do for 25 years....

Kindly correct them and use only three of them.

Preposition:-

Chapter 3,
All the eyes (on the) hospital were on the parents and the women
Correction: In the hospital

Adjective:-

Chapter 5,
His wife immediately slid (his) arms around him.
Correction: Her

Spelling mistake:-

Chapter 3,
The women (inquiried) while glancing at the mother seated beside her
Correction: Inquired

Vocabulary:-

Chapter 5,
His wife said assuring him that he doesn't have to worry about things.
Correction: His wife assured him

Chapter 5,
My child isn't a criminal to be hiding his face.
Correction: My child isn't a criminal who need to hide his face

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs Fᴏʀ ᴘʟᴏᴛ ᴛᴡɪsᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.
-6/10

The exposition was very shocking, mysterious deaths and Seokjin's short life span prediction, his father's major sin. Everything was very thrilling until the pace became too fast, Y/N discovering Seokjin's curse was too fast, Seokjin's mother making coffee for Joseph was too fast as well, you didn't mention time skip and it felt like she made coffee for her in seconds. Seokjin always running away from a group of boys is cliche. I really love the first encounter between Seokjin and Y/N though. Your ideas are great, it's just some chapters you miss out details or rushed things.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴅᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴍᴇɴᴛ.
-5/10

Whenever any character cries, you always mention only one tear escaping from the right eye. Once or twice is okay but more than that becomes very cliche if it's repeated continuously. Sometimes the character's emotions weren't felt because they look insignificant in some cases such as Mother gaping at Joseph for pulling out a mask was an unnecessary reaction, she already reacted that way after discovering hidden meaning behind the painting.

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ.
-5/10

I love how you describe the appearances of characters, sky or rain, they are very beautifully written. Readers imagine everything you write and at some parts you missed important details such as Y/N encounter with her abusive father. He threw her at the table and she fell on her knees. Skipping all that part, suddenly Y/N grabbed a knife and stabbed him in his leg. You didn't mention where the knife appeared from.

Foreshadowing:-

You reveal everything beforehand and so the readers don't get curious or feel the suspense and due to this they lose interest. The painting part, you already revealed everything that Seokjin Mother thinks the painting was just a normal and that 'there was something more to it'. So we readers already knew what was coming. While reading that part I didn't feel curious or thrilled to know what was going to happen. I suggest adding that part when Joseph asked about his mother's thoughts on the painting.

1. Chapter 3,
"She thought that the woman was just speaking shit but she was not."
Reviewer: In this sentence you literally revealed again, make the time reveal 'she was not' instead of snitching. Shock the readers with these mini twists they didn't expect before.

2. Chapter 5,
"She tried eating a little more, but couldn't so she threw the rest, unable to eat anything."
Reviewer: We readers already figured out she wasn't able to eat. Last sentence is unnecessary.

3. Chapter 9,
"Yoongi got extremely furious and got out of control "
Reviewer: Instead of telling, show the readers that he got furious by his dialogue, reaction etc.

In conclusion, Instead of dictating or explaining what a readers should see, show them in action

Cliche:-

1. Chapter 4,
"He said and started laughing like a maniac. He clutched onto his stomach and started spinning the chair in which he was seated while laughing"
Reviewer: This sentence is unnecessarily long, you can explain the readers in simple words like, "He said and started to laugh like a maniac while clutching onto his stomach and spinning around with the chair"

|- ①⓪ ᴍᴀʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ
-7/10

You said in the Author's note you don't know what to write in the middle of the story. I suggest not to rush things and think  about creative ideas to write rising actions in the form of different events and incidents that matter to your characters, and result in increased drama or suspense for the climax or ending of the story.

Total Marks: 66/100