Jungwon has a stressful week of exams ahead, and he doesn't want to fail a single one of them. He goes to extremes to fit in his studying around his classes and mock exams, and even his poor health won't stop him from overworking himself.

-

The ticking of his clock only made his nerves worse, and his fear of failure was only making it harder to think. His thoughts were a jumbled mess as he stared at his computer screen, sighing at the sight of a blank worksheet.

His entire assignment was due next week, and he should be revising every day which meant that he wouldn't have much time to complete it. If he wanted to get it handed in on time, he would have to complete it tonight.

Hands tired and shaking, Jungwon began to type but he soon stopped, his brain acting like it had just short-circuited. His memory was betraying him and he was too tired to be angry, instead he just heaved a heavy sigh and carried on with the typing.

He was typing nonsense at this point. He was probably repeating himself, and he knew that his writing style was all over the place. It was a normal essay, why was he finding it so hard? His eyes wanted to close desperately, but he forced them to stay open until dawn began to break. A ray of sunlight cast on his laptop, in his way of typing. He took that as a sign to stop writing, to at least take a break before carrying on.

He fell asleep at the desk, head on the table and hands in the pockets of his hoodie. His mind was spinning and only one thing could settle it, the one thing that was catching up to him like the inevitable end of a world.

And then it was dark.

-

His neck resisted his instructions as he lifted his head from the desk, the whole room being cast with rays of light and shadows by now. He'd been asleep with his head down for an hour, hardly enough time to sleep well but enough time to make him uncomfortable. His bones creaked with a reminder of the neglect he was giving to his body.

He squinted at his laptop and closed the lid, turning off the lamp on his desk as he stumbled to his feet. It was going to be a very, very long day.

-

Jungwon had a few classes today, including one where he would study for his exam. He hated being reminded of exams, but he hated forgetting them too. Neither his mood nor the state of his health had improved, it had worsened if he was honest, but he forced himself to attend school and to enter the classroom as class started.

He couldn't think. His ears ringing, room spinning and his body feeling like he was about to explode, it was becoming difficult to hide his own discomfort. All he wanted now was to just go home.

The class went by quickly though, probably because he couldn't focus, and Jungwon wandered through the school as he waited for his next class. His eyes were tired enough that he almost closed them while he was walking, and he ended up forcing himself to open them despite the fact that he was straining them.

He went to his second class, sitting down at the desk without really having the intention to try to listen at all. There was too much exhaustion in his bones, the chair was too cold, the room was too loud. Thinking wasn't an option at this point.

As soon as class started, it finished. Or, it did for Jungwon. He zoned out so quickly that he only snapped out of his daze when the class ended. Everyone packed away their notebooks, and he hadn't even gotten his out in the first place. He felt like he was living in a different timeline that was an hour behind everyone else's.

His next class was close, but too far away for his liking. He couldn't imagine staying in school for much longer, let alone over an hour, so he finally listened to the aches in his body and mind and went home, strolling through the streets with a shiver.

Once Jungwon got home, he closed the door and placed his bag on the living room floor, lying on the couch as he was too tired to go to his room. His skin felt ice cold and he had no idea why, but he was too tired to think about it. Instead, he let himself drift into darkness.

-

A shrill noise woke him up, and he stirred and sat up feeling dizzy and tired. It was not an alarm, but his phone. He took it out of the pocket of his hoodie, answering it and finally stopping the torcherous sound of his ringtone.

Niki was on the other end, a tone of concern in his voice.
"Jungwon-hyung, why weren't you in class?" Niki asked, like a child begging for his mother's attention. Jungwon shrugged, even though Niki couldn't see him.

"I don't know," he replied honestly, as he hardly understood the decisions he was making too. Niki sighed audibly, and Jungwon felt a rush of guilt that he had disappointed his friend.

"Is something wrong, hyung? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Yeah, something came up in class and I had to sort it out, sorry. I'll see you tomorrow?" Jungwon said, feeling bad for wanting to end the call so quickly. He bit his lip as Niki hesitantly agreed, and he hung up and put his phone in his pocket again.

Jungwon had no idea what time it was, but all he knew was that he wanted to go to bed and sleep for the rest of the week. He knew by now that he needed it, but he was too committed - or alternatively, too scared of failure - to stop and give himself a real break to recover. He did, though, decide to go to his room to take a nap, but he promised himself it would only be a short one.

He felt nauseous when he stood up, the room bouncing around him and his head spinning. Struggling from the sudden dizziness, Jungwon made his way slowly and carefully to his room, shutting his eyes and falling asleep as soon as he got in bed.

-

The same shrill noise woke him up again, but this time it was his alarm to remind him to study. He felt like his stomach was full of an indigestible feeling of exhaustion and unshakable miserableness, but the boy still managed to drag himself to his desk and begin working on revision.

He tried his best to do things from muscle memory, as most of his brain was occupied or incapable of working well. He felt like he was being crushed over and over again but never properly broken, his energy stretched over hours without gaining any back, even after sleeping.

His room was dark, and the screen of his laptop was too bright, displaying the quiz that was to test his knowledge in preparation for the test. The answers were somewhere in his brain, but he didn't have the capacity to access it right now. He answered some questions, his brain aching and his back burdened with bad posture, and clicked on the bright 'check answers' button.

He groaned at the amount of incorrect answers.

He was - unfortunately for his health - willing to do the quiz over and over again until he got every single answer correct. And that is exactly what he did.

-

He regretted falling asleep at his desk again, but it's not like he had any intention of it in the first place. Sun rained into Jungwon's bedroom again as he rubbed his eyes, the exhaustion making it difficult to keep them open at all.

He got up and got dressed, his hands too cold to quickly do up the button on his shirt. It felt like a long time passed as he got dressed, but he was losing his concept of time.

Thinking he was going to be late, he rushed and skipped breakfast again, leaving his apartment at the early time of 8 (his first class started at ten to nine) without checking the time.

-

He had almost managed to plan in advance, as he took much longer than usual to get there. The college was fairly closeby, but he walked slowly enough and unsteadily enough to get there in half an hour. He waited outside his first class, being ten minutes early which surprised him. 

His headache was growing as people slowly showed up to wait outside class with him for a mock exam, even hushed talking being too much for him to take. Eventually they were let into class and he sat in his usual place, staring at the desk without much going on in his mind anymore. He was just blank.

The teacher gave them a brief explanation about rules, the way the questions must be answered, etcetera, but he was just busy trying to keep his head up. Once the test started, he felt awful, repeating the words 'stay awake' to himself just to keep his mind occupied enough to not drift.

The room began to spin and Jungwon couldn't bear the movement, so he put his arms on the desk and rested his head on his arms. He still felt like he was spinning even with his eyes closed, and his body was shaking once again. He still cared about his result, and he cared that hours of revision were going to waste, but he could barely open his eyes without feeling like he was going to pass out.

He heard a voice though, at first distant and then much closer, and he opened his eyes and saw the teacher kneeling next to him.
"Jungwon, do me a favour and go home, okay? You can come back and do the mock exam with a different group another day, but you don't look good at all."

Jungwon nodded and the teacher went back to the front of the class, keeping an eye on him as he stood up and grabbed his bag, quickly and quietly thanking the teacher on his way out.

He took the long (but actually rather short) journey home again and once he got inside he closed the door and placed his bag on the floor.

And then it was dark.

-

"Jungwon… Jungwon-hyung!" He opened his eyes, slowly at that, and tried to sit up but his body only had the energy to get halfway into a sitting position. Jungwon's body had most definitely reached its limit.

"You worried me, hyung! How much have you slept lately? Have you even eaten?" Niki asked, and Jungwon shrugged. He began to pick up the latter, but he hadn't quite perfected the method.

"What are you doing?" Jungwon mumbled, his eyes shut as Niki practically dragged him.

"I'm taking you to your bed, you need to rest."

In the end, he only managed to get him to the sofa, but he was satisfied enough with that. He lay him down on the sofa and Jungwon was already drifting off again.

-

Jungwon was so dizzy when he woke up, he was barely aware of where he was. His body was shaking worse than before, and he eventually noticed that the room was lifeless save for himself. He stood up, being taken over by nausea as soon as he did.

He went to the bathroom with his eyes only half-open, and he lowered himself insecurely to the floor, his head spinning and his stomach doing a flip from the overwhelming nausea.

He gagged and vomited a mouthful of bile into the toilet, his arms on the seat to support himself. He had barely eaten lately so it was only stomach acid that he brought up as he heaved again, eyes tightly shut as he winced at the pain.

There was a hand on his back as he finished, and he heard Niki apologising behind him.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you alone, I was looking for medicine. You know you really should keep medicine in your cupboards just in case you get sick?"

And just like that, Niki was back to lecturing him.

-

Niki helped him get to bed, sitting beside him as he drifted in and out of consciousness.
"Thank you, Niki." The boy looked over, a small smile on his face.

"It's okay, you needed my help. Just don't do this again, okay? You can study in the library during the day, don't stay up late and exhaust yourself."

"How do you know I stayed up late?" Jungwon asked, blushing slightly at his predictability.

"Because I know you, and I know you during exam season." Jungwon shrugged, pulling his duvet up and almost over his head, burrowing himself into the pile of blankets and pillows to stop his shivering.

Just before he fell asleep, he heard a phone ringing, and someone picked up.

"Yeah, Heesung-hyung, I told you something was wrong. Guess who just threw up all over their own bathroom,"

"Shut up," Jungwon grinned sleepily, slapping Niki's arm with very little force.

And then it was dark.

--

Hi! I'm back with another chapter that isn't proofread!

I have to cut this a/n short because I have to go to school now :(

- Kiran 💙