🕊   the end is nigh   🕊

Alessia spent her summer break alone. Her only company was her father, who entertained himself more than he did her. Waking up with a start, she realised that she had been hailed to the floor, a regular occurrence throughout the heat and rest of the summer holidays.

She rose to her feet, walking over to her mirror to see how bad the damage was. And then she broke down into tears, wrapping her arms around her body—it was her routine healing process.

It was then that I took control, wiping her tears away and refraining from yelling in annoyance like I had done for the past six days now. I walked into her bathroom, nursed her cuts and scratches, before concluding that Alessia wouldn't need an ice-bag.

Leaning over her sink, I soon became bored. As Olivia Clark, my summer had been full of days out, nights out, and happiness and laughter. My family had gone on a week-long holiday before we were joined by Dylan's family for another week. It wasn't the first time that Dylan and I had been away with each other, but it was certainly the longest and coolest.

Becoming restless, I groaned, checking for signs of her father before leaving the room. I turned to the right, which led to a door that seemed untouched. I frowned, quickly becoming intrigued.

I slowly moved down the hall, eyes on the cream coloured door. When I reached it, I turned the brass door handle carefully, pushing the door open with just as much discretion. Once the door was open, I was greeted by a deep crimson carpet, pale pink walls, the same deep red on the bed, and beautifully varnished furniture. I couldn't understand it. I could tell that Alessia, nor her dad, visited this room often, but it still seemed like a shrine of sorts. Perhaps it was better likened to a sepulchre.

I wandered in curiously, spotting a picture frame on the side of the vanity. I picked up the picture, seeing three faces in the frame. One was Alessia's father, though as if from another life—another time. He was younger, a gleam in his eyes that was dead and gone now. He almost looked unrecognisable. In the middle, was a young girl, who looked vaguely like Alessia, and I could only assume that it was her as a young girl. Again, the joy in her eyes and face was unrecognisable, and I felt as though they'd both been through a time machine. Then there was the third face. I didn't recognise the woman, but as I stared at her, emotions stirred up within Alessia. It was her mum.

Alessia looked a lot like her mum, whose eyes were a brilliant emerald, nose a button and hair disarray in a curly mess. The only trait of her father's that I could see in Alessia was his dark hair, and maybe his emptiness too.

It could only be assumed that Alessia's mother had passed away, or perhaps left. It's probably the reason that Alessia and her father changed, becoming creatures with little happiness.

I set the frame down, gazing around the room again. There was a small table positioned on each side of the bed, one with a small framed picture of Alessia's dad, and another with a picture of her mum.

I choked up then, feeling Alessia's strong sense of loss and emotional emptiness. There was a void in Alessia's heart where her parents used to be, and she now attempted to fill it with Dylan.

I backed out of the room hastily, shutting the door before turning around and walking back to Alessia's room, where I shut and locked the door behind me.

Alessia's life was much more deserted than I had realised, and I soon let go of my control so that she could deal with it. But instead of shedding a few tears and then brushing it all under the rug, Alessia slipped on her trainers, before grabbing a bag and leaving.

She made her way to the bus stop with a brisk pace, hailing the bus that took the route to my house. I watched curiously. She had been doing this a lot lately, but I had yet to learn why.

Alessia got off the bus at the stop adjacent to my house, as usual, and walked down the road that my house stood on. She ducked down behind a bush, the typical position that she took when she watched and waited outside of my house.

At first, I thought it was just to keep tabs on Dylan, but Dylan wasn't always at my house, and surely she'd go to his if she was that obsessed. But no, she would sit here, sometimes for hours, just watching my house and waiting for me to suddenly appear.

And I did. Olivia Clark exited the house, chatting on the phone with someone. Alessia's eyes followed Olivia down the street before she began to pursue her. She lurked behind a wall as Olivia spoke on the phone, saying something about a park, and then about the bowling alley.

It was just a casual conversation, but Alessia was listening to her as if it were a top-secret conference. When a bus pulled up, Olivia's voice ceased, and that was when Alessia concluded her daily dose of Olivia.

It was a peculiar routine, and she did it almost every day. After crossing the road, Alessia jumped on the first bus that came and sat at the back, where she watched Snapchat and Instagram stories of the people who went to our school. It seemed that I wasn't the only one that she was keeping track of these days.

On the bus, Alessia thought back to Prom. It was something I often did, too. It wasn't a perfect night—my eye-makeup smudged halfway through, Matt sexually assaulted me again, and I sprained my ankle right at the very end—but it was very, very close. It was an enchanting memory, one I think I fixed in my brain to make it glisten and glitter more than it would've done before.

To Alessia, it was a nice way of decorating hell. It was like everything and everyone else she had known—negativity hidden behind a facade. She felt tears spring to her eyes when she recalled what Kiara had said to her that evening. It was all stuff that she had heard before, though maybe not said in person, or all at once with as much calm lustre as Kiara had delivered it with. It was like a lullaby but delivered from the tongue of a snake.

Alessia got off the bus soon enough, walking through the downpour with her head down. She surprised me when she didn't take the route to her house, but instead crossed the road and headed into the corner shop. Nells' corner shop.

Upon entering, she noticed that Nells was busy serving customers. She also recognised that Nells probably wouldn't expect to see her on a Saturday and so wouldn't greet her. Whilst Nells was occupied, Alessia busied herself by uselessly looking around the shop.

After roaming around the shop aimlessly for ten minutes, she noticed that Nells' line was down to just one person, and promptly picked up a random bar of chocolate. When she got to the front of the line, Nells was a little shocked. Alessia had anticipated this and watched as Nells stared at her with wide eyes. A grin soon grew on her face, yet Alessia could feel nothing but sadness, emptiness. Nells was a light in a very, very dark, and never-ending, tunnel for Alessia. But she almost just...wasn't enough.

"Lessie!" Nells exclaimed, sounding delighted, "It's so good to see you!" Alessia beamed at the older woman, handing her the bar of chocolate. "How are you?" She asked, "You got your grades back? What college are you going to? What will you study?" Nells' rambling made Alessia laugh as she fished around in her pocket for spare change for the chocolate.

"I'm...okay. My grades weren't too bad, but definitely not stellar. College..." Alessia trailed off, suddenly staring off into nothingness as if she were attempting to see into the future. She shook her head, brushing it off. "Might study the art of dying," Alessia said, and Nells took it as a joke, laughing loudly.

"You're very funny, Lessie; I'm glad you came by today," she said, taking Alessia's change and entering it into the till.

"Me too," Alessia agreed, smiling sadly. "Oh," she said abruptly, unzipping her bag and sifting through the side pocket, pulling out what felt like a card. Nells watched as she produced an envelope, her name inscribed on the front in cursive. "This is for your birthday," Alessia revealed.

Nells' frown relaxed in seconds, her face brightening. "Oh, you didn't have to, Alessia!" She said, before opening it up and thanking the girl.

"But why so early?" Nells then asked, standing the card up beside the till admiring it.

Alessia swallowed. "I wanted to make sure that you definitely got it." She said, watching as Nell smiled, before walking around to the other side of the countertop. Alessia knew that Nells should be using her walking stick, yet that she was too stubborn to, and watched as she hobbled over to her. And then Alessia was submerged in the biggest hug of her life—at least in a while.

Alessia didn't want to let go, but she knew she had to. She knew that she had to because she wanted to; she had never wanted something so desperately before this. She wanted to let go.

_________________________________

this is definitely yesterday's chapter and my legs hurt!!

my brother is showering to Someone Like You by Adele (again) and I swear it's a weird version

oh now it's Turning Tables

omg who's heard Rumour Has it

I was gonna say something else

oh well
now we'll never know

(sidenote that the first gif is Olivia and the second is Alessia but note that Olivia's hair is actually a dark brown like Alessia's; she's just lighter for the film she was in 🤷🏼‍♀️😂)

-love from, hair dye

FABULOUS SONGS

Songs that played when I was writing this chapter (in order):
Only You - Selena Gomez
Oh Woman Oh Man - London Grammar
Broke - Lauren Aquilina
Gone - Bebe Rexha
Silhouette - Aquilo
Hold Your Breath - Ruelle
Love and War - Fleurie
Which Witch - Florence + The Machine
People Help The People - Birdy
Salvation - Gabrielle Aplin
Dreams - Gabrielle Aplin
Don't Let Me Go - RAIGN

END OF FABULOUS SONGS

Date written:
13/10/18
14/10/18

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Next update: Tuesday
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CHAPTER FORTY-SIX SPOILER:

The end definitely is nigh.

"I think I knew before it happened."

🕊

CHAPTER COUNT UNTIL THE END OF THE BOOK:
five & epilogue