۫ ּ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗ 𓏲˖ 𑁍 ࣪ ִ ۫ ּ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗
࣪𓏲ּ ֶָ  ✩◿𝓘𝓓𝓐◸ 🂱 ࣪𓏲ּ ֶָ
CHAPTER FIFTY EIGHT—
when you lose something you can't replace.

"It's okay." Aaron took the role of trying to comfort Austin from where he was on the ground, Glenn's dead hand still latched onto his due to never letting his grip up. "It's okay. I'm just gonna-"

They both cringed as Aaron preyed the hand off and pulled Austin into his arms, holding him there for a sense of comfort. He wasn't crying anymore, he was kinda just there. They'd all seen it happen before, they just couldn't care as much as they had before. Glenn and Abraham meant something to all of them, and now Glenn wasn't here to bring Austin back from wherever he disappeared to when bad things happened.

Negan came back and tossed Rick infront of the group, causing a sense of relief to go over all of them. "Here we are. Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you even know what that little trip was about?"

Rick pushed up on his knees, gapping around out of confusion and a bad state. Negan stood before him. "Speak when you're spoken to."

He breathed heavy from the ground. "Okay. Okay."

"That trip was about the way that you looked at me." he informed him. "I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand. But you're still looking at me the same damn way...like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna work."

Austin squeezed his eyes and shook his head. Negans voice was fading in and out, dark spots were appearing in his vision. He was coming and going from the reality he'd been in right now. He shook his head and tried to stay, tried to stay until they at least were set free. "No. No. No."

Aaron looked down, the only one able to hear his whisper.

"So...do I give you another chance?" Negan kneeled down next to Rick as he continued his ragged breathing, in as much shock as the rest of them but was forced to speak.

"Yeah." he managed to get out. "Yes."

Negan patted him on the back and stood to his feet. "Okay. All right. And here it is- the grand-prize game. What you do now will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day or just another crap day."

That's what made Austin stay still, keep him right there. Negans words, throwing around that he might die is what kept him right there. He wanted to. He was ready to die, he was so desperate to that those words stopped him from getting lost in his own head.

"Get some guns to the back of their heads." Negan encouraged his saviors as they all each walked forward, stood right behind each of them as Austin was forced to separate from Aaron. "Good. Now level with their noses, so if you have to fire...it'll be a real mess."

Ricks eyes dropped over to Austin, who's hands were gripping the dirt and his eyes going closed.

"Kid." Negan looked at Carl. Austin's eyes opened then, watching as he encouraged his brother to come closer. "Right here."

Carl was still. "Kid...now."

Austin's slowly turned his head to look at him, Carls eyes locked on his. He gave him a small nod, telling him to go but he wouldn't let anything happen. He had no control over that, but he'd do everything he could.

"You a southpaw?" Negan pulled his belt off.

"Am I a what?" Carl gave him nothing but attitude back. If he was scared, he didn't show it. And if he wasn't scared, he was the only one here.

"You a lefty?" Negan grinned.

"No." Carl glared back.

"Good." Negan nodded as he secured his belt around his arm. Austin watched, feeling his own body inching forward a little more by each second. "That hurt?"

"No." Carl tilted his head.

"Should." Negan spoke in return. "It's suppose to. All right. Get down on the ground, kid, next to Daddy. Spread them wings."

He took his hat off and tossed it behind his shoulder. Carl did so, laid on the ground. Negan nodded. "Simon...you got a pen?"

"Yeah." Simon dug into his pocket and tossed it his way.

Negan caught it, pulling the cap off as he rolled Carls sleeve up. "Sorry, kid. This is gonna be as cold as a warlocks ballsack, just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it right across your forearm. Gives you a little leverage."

"Please. Please." Rick began to beg quietly. "Please don't."

"Me?" Negan smiled. "I ain't doing shit."

He stood up again. "Rick, I want you to take your ax...cut your sons left arm off, right on that line."

"No." Austin's voice was weak and barley there, but Negan heard it as he pushed forward more, the gun pushing on the back of his head harder. "It can be me."

"Stop." Carl whispered to him from where he laid on the ground.

"Please." Austin begged Negan as he looked up at him in a begging manor. "Please...please, it could be me."

"Yup." Negan smiled as he walked over to him and kneeled right infront of him. He held his jaw and stared right into those blood shot eyes. "I think you wanna die though, pretty boy. What good would that be?"

"No." he shook his head.

"You love your little brother?" he hummed as Austin nodded. "If your Daddy does it right, he's not gonna die. It's gonna hurt like a screaming bitch on a hot day, but it's not gonna kill him."

Austin nodded as his hands shook. "Please. Please."

Negan stared, kissing his own teeth as he grasped Austin by the back of the neck. "I think Lucille wants to play."

"No!" Rick called out as Negan put his bat right next to Austin's head. "No."

"You pick favorites, Rick?" Negan asked him curiously. "You look at your kids and ever think about which one you love more? I know you do. We're not suppose to say that sort of thing, but we do."

Natalie. He loved Natalie more then he loved Luke and Levi.

Negan smiled at Rick. "They get to know now. You either cut his hand smooth off, or this one gets his head bashed in. Or, they both live and you cut that one's hand off, and no more skulls get slung all over the place."

Rick was frozen as he gapped. "You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense. Still, though, i'm gonna need you to do it or all these people, including your son right here next to me, are gonna die. Then Carl dies, then the people back home die...and then you, eventually. I'm gonna keep your breathing for a few years, just so you can stew on it."

"You-you don't have to do this." Michonne begged at the sight of both her boys right on the verge of pain and death, and Rick not being able to decide. "We understand. We understand."

"You understand!" Negan corrected as Lucille pressed on Austin's cheek, Abraham and Glenns blood mixed together getting even more blood across him. "Yeah. I'm not sure that Rick does. I'm gonna need a clean cut, right there on that line. I really don't wanna kill...oh my god. I don't even know his name."

Negan kneeled closer to Austin. "You got a name, don't you?"

Austin inhaled as he looked to him just a little. There was no point in hiding his name, Negan would eventually find out and use it against him. "Au...Austin."

"Austin." Negan smiled at him as he nodded. "That fits you."

He stood up again and looked at Rick. "I really don't wanna kill Austin, Rick. I'm just staring to like him and who the hell is gonna take care of my kids after this? They've gotta be in trusted hands, don't you think? Or should I go ahead and get them back?"

No. No, absolutely not. Austin knew that couldn't happen. He was fighting for life and death right there in his head, but he knew for certain that if he died, Negan would take the kids back. He wanted to die, wanted it so badly. But, that potentially would put Natalie, Levi, and Luke back in harms way where they'd live in fear every single day.

He couldn't die. No matter how hard he wanted to. He could not die.

"Now, I know this is a screwed-up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice- nothing messy, clean, 45 degrees...give us something to fold over." Negan explained. "We got a great doctor. The kid'll be fine. This one...not so much."

"Let it-" Austin started as Lucille pressed closer to Austin's face.

"Austin." Negan warned him. "I know you probably stay up late at night fantasizing about getting your hand chopped off, but i'm afraid that's just not how it's gonna go this time around. So, shut your mouth, before I beat you so hard your brain goes all over your Daddy. Okay?"

Negan pulled him a little closer to the pair so all three of the Grimes were together, and Negan right in the middle. "Rick...this needs to happen now—chop, chop or I will crush both of their skulls in myself."

"It can-it can-it can be me." Rick managed to say it. Either he hadn't heard Austin try this already, or he needed to say it just in case. "It can be me. W-w-w. You can do it to me. I can-I can go with-with you."

"No. That won't work either." Negan shook his head. "This is the only way. Rick, pick up the axe."

He was still frozen, Austin squeezed his eyes as Lucille shoved into the side of Austin's head so hard if made him stumble a little. "Not making a decision is a big decision. You really wanna see all these people die? Have your sons skull bashed in right infront of your face? You will. You will see every ugly thing."

Rick started to sob and gasp for air as Negan shook his head. "Oh my god. Are you gonna make me count? Okay, Rick. You win. I am counting. Three!"

"Please!" Rick begged as Negan pulled his bat back. "Please! It can be me. Please!"

"2!" Negan acted like he was getting ready to swing. Aaron held onto Maggie when she turned her head, not being able to watch this happen again.

"Please don't do-" Rick begged as Negan smacked him across the face.

He kept Lucille behind Austin's head as he cupped Ricks face. "This is it. One!"

Rick sobbed loudly as he shook and held Carls hand.

"Dad...do it." Carl whispered to him, Austin felt the wind of Lucille pulling back behind him, bracing himself. "Just do it."

Rick sobbed loudly and wailed all around once as he lifted the ax up. Negan pulled Lucille away from Austin and kneeled next to Rick again. He breathed out shaky, not catching a single breath. "Rick. You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?"

Rick nodded fast. Negan clinched his jaw as he grabbed his face. "Speak when you're spoken to! You answer to me. You provide for me."

"Provide for you." Rick went on in agreement.

"You belong to me, right?!" Negan yelled at him.

"Right." Rick promised.

"Right." he smiled back. "That...is the look I wanted to see."

He stood up and took the ax away. "We did it. All of us. Even the dead guys in the ground. Hell, they get the spirit award, for sure. Today was a productive damn day! Now, I hope, for all of your sake...that you get it now...that you understand how things work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you...this is over now. Ah. Dwight...load him up."

Dwight grasped onto Daryl and he tried to fight it, they all cried as he was taken away and forced into the truck. Austin couldn't sit up on his knees anymore, leaning over like how he had the first time and pressed his face into the dirt.

"He's got guts." Negan told Rick as the doors slammed. "Not a little bitch like someone I know. I like him. He's mine now. But you still want to try something? 'Not today, not tomorrow.' Not today, not tomorrow I will cut pieces off of...hell's his name?"

"Daryl." Simon informed him.

"Wow." Negan laughed. "That actually sounds right, too. I will cut pieces off of Daryl and put them on your doorstep or, better yet, I will bring him to you and have you do it for me."

He chuckled and stood up with a pat to Ricks back. "Welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits! I'm gonna leave you a truck. Keep it. Use it to cart all the crap you're gonna find me. We'll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then...ta-ta."

He looked back to Austin. "Pretty boy?"

Austin looked up from the ground as Negan smiled. "You tell my kids they can have their fun. But, one of these days, I will come get them back and kill you right infront of their little faces so they don't think about run away again. You think you can do that for me?"

Austin stared, slowly nodding his head. Negan smiled. "I'll see you later."

They all began to leave, one by one, driving away in their trucks. Everyone stays still and frozen until every last one of them disappeared, leaving them there in the dirt and the blood. Austin laid there, his knees not working either as he curled up onto the ground and held the sides of his face.

"Austin." Michonne came to comfort him, to try and help his terrible state.

This was it, this was how it always went. Austin had no memory of what happened after that, disappearing into his own head and letting it take over his body yet again. Just laid there.

•

kylie speaks

yes we are in a sad era but
just think about what's finally,
after five whole seasons, is about to arrive in the middle of THIS season. idk about y'all...but i'm freaking excited