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Something is watching. Peering through windows to this world. Otherworldly and disconnected. It's waiting there, on the other side, to come back a calling for its end of the deal. Dissonant whispers dance under its breath, songs of ancient mythology sung amongst grassy hillsides in the fey wild. Patient. An ambush predator, waiting to stretch out its claws and grasp humanity by the throat. To strangle it, to watch mortality drain from the eyes of unsuspecting prey. Still, it wants its prey to know it's waiting, tucked in the back of their mind, picking at the crevices of abyssal dread and paranoia.

Wake up, Sulli Chavalier.

They blink hard, finding themselves staring up at a smooth white ceiling. It's not their room, and Sulli pushes themselves up gently, allowing their memory to flood back to them. It takes them a second to realize Yaşru is there, arms crossed on the edge of the bed with his head in them, the rest of his body slumped over on a pulled-up chair.

The others are scattered in the room. Magnus is draped over a lounge chair in front of the bed. Cassie is asleep on some kind of makeshift bed on the floor, Kelsey isn't far from her. Julian is knocked out, looking rather uncomfortable in a chair, while Adelaide is passed out on a couch nearby, with Madden's arms securely around her.

Had it been a nightmare?

All of their friends looked normal now, back to how they had looked before, and it didn't feel like they were dead. Not to mention, it looked like they were in some kind of guest suite in the Kwon house still, gently tucked into a rich white duvet to keep them warm. They bite back a sigh, shaking their head before trying to push down the covers with their legs, only to be greeted with an agonizing jolt.

"Fuck." Sulli slaps a hand over their mouth, to avoid waking the rest of them up, but Yaşru's head jolts up all the same, meeting Sulli's eyes with pretty crimson ones, still holding the edges of whatever he had been before this morning, in his usual deep green.

Not a nightmare then.

Yaşru stares at them for another moment before pushing back up to sit in the chair properly, glancing at their leg before crossing their arms over their chest. Sulli hesitates, adjusting carefully as they lean up against the pillows. "So, I'm guessing you aren't going to kill me then."

He scowls in response, and it's pretty obvious he seems pissed. "Are you fucking serious, Sulli? No, we aren't going to kill you. You would have been dead a long time ago if we wanted you to be."

"Well, I wasn't sure if you needed a human sacrifice for Samhain."

"Do you know how offensive that is, Sulli??" Yaşru's voice is sharp, and they balk for a second at him.

"Oh." Sulli shakes their head, "I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"You know why? Cause humans aren't supposed to know, you were never supposed to know. But you whined your way into gaining the club's approval, and we worked so goddamned hard to make sure you didn't find out. We were your friend, we told you we would protect you, and we opened up to you, and the first fucking thing you do when you see me for who I am when I had the audacity to care about you, was kick me in the crotch and run?" Yaşru is being loud enough that the others have woken up, now glancing between them. He's standing too, leering over them.

"Yaş-"

"Do you even know why we don't tell you humans??" His eyes are back to being that angry red color, and Sulli wants to sink into these covers and vanish from existence. "Because humans look at anything even remotely different than them, and attack. They hated other humans just because they were a different color, how exactly do you think they would react to an angel, or a mermaid, or a shifter, or anyone who might be a little fucking different? But when Adelaide asked Club lore, the majority voted to allow you to stay here. And I voted against you, and Julian voted against you, and I am not afraid to tell you why - because as much as you are scared of us Sulli, we're fucking terrified of you."

He falls silent after another moment, and he must see the absolute terror that's now plainly seen on Sulli's face, their grip has gotten tighter on whatever they could manage to hold from where they sit on the bed because Yaş takes a step back. Thick guilt slips down into Sulli's throat, and they swallow the feeling as best as they can, "I'm sorry." They hesitate, glancing around the room, only to realize most of Club Lore is avoiding looking at them, "Could- um, could I try again?"

Magnus' is staring at them, and it's the first time Sulli realizes that he's got scratches all up and down his arms, likely from the fight he got in defending them. "Try again? You were terrified the first time."

"I'm still terrified." Sulli corrects, "But I was scared of you before too, you're just higher on the list now." They adjust again, biting back a wince, "And- it might help my fear to understand what you are, exactly."

Yaşru still looks pretty pissed, and Sulli really can't blame him, so they mainly just avoid the pressurized glare that he's been giving them ever since he woke up. Cassiopeia stands up first, hesitating. "I'm an angel."

"Like, from God?"

"Not exactly." She shakes her head, as two blue wings manifest behind her back. "My wings aren't common angel wings, and we aren't attached to religion at all for the most part- so what you're thinking of are biblical angels, and that's not what I am. We're miracle workers- and healers really." She nodded, "Without going into heavy detail, I suppose."

Sulli nodded slowly, trying not to stare at the wings too hard, "Right."

Adelaide hesitated, pushing up from where she was still sitting with Madden, "I'm a shifter like Rowan was." She made a face, and Sulli blinked, tilting their head.

"Like a werewolf?"

"No, but common misconception." She shook her head, "Were-shifters, so there are three races within the species of shifters, aquatic, terrestrial, and aerial - I'm an aerial shifter, and my family's bloodline follows the swan. Rowan was a terrestrial shifter, and his family follows wolves, mainly."

"Right," Sulli repeats again, rapidly trying to assemble this information in their head so it would make sense. Adelaide turns to Madden, nudging him gently. He blinks up, sighing, then just leaning back on the couch.

"I'm a merman."

"A merman?"

"Yep. Ice, water, charming shit, all that kind of stuff." He waves it off, "I'm sure you understand, I can't exactly show you right now." He offers a small, light-hearted smile, and it eases some of the anxious tension that's wound up inside their chest.

Kelsey hums, "I'm a Fae, but not the eldritch kind." There was that crackling sound again, and after a second, curling horns were back on his head, ears sharpened, and eyes bright and glowy. "I'm dark fae, but not eldritch. Curses, hypnosis.." He waved his hand, and Sulli paused, hesitating before speaking.

"Contracts?"

There's a pause for a moment, and Kelsey nods slightly. "I could do them, but it's a personal rule that I won't." Sulli feels both relieved and disappointed, and an itchy, short sensation scratches underneath their tattoo, but they keep their hands clasped together, swallowing back any sign of terror they can manage.

Julian stands calmly, and Sulli watches in real time as stone overlaps human skin, turning Julian into someone from a black and white movie, with greyscale, and the soft, dim glow from the tattoo. "Genasi. Earth Genasi, there are the other elements too, and it's basically what you'd think it'd be. Earth manipulation, stuff like that."

Right. Of course. You're basically just an earthbender from ATLA, why wouldn't I have guessed that??

But Sulli keeps their thoughts to themselves, biting back any amount of sarcasm as eyes turn back to Magnus, who doesn't have a smile in sight, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm a tiefling."

"Like from D&D?"

Magnus stares at them for a second, then scowls "Seriously??"

"Sorry." Sulli grips the sheets again, "Sorry, just continue."

"I'm a manipulator of fire, obviously." His gaze snapped to Yaşru's then. "Your turn."

Yaşru sighed, and again, Sulli watched his canines lengthen, eyes swirling with deep red energy, "I'm a məçkəy."

Sulli blinked, "..a what?"

Yaşru stared at them again, then scowled once more, crossing his arms over his chest. "Like a vampire, Sulli."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

Sulli scowled back, "Yes, Oh, what? Am I not allowed to have a fucking response anymore?" They shifted again, wincing as another jolt of pain shot back down their leg. "You're acting as if I somehow acted wrong, which, by the way, I think I had every right to run from you all. Not only was I nearly mauled to death by a werewolf-" Sulli paused, "Shifter, whatever, but my entire reality changed in one second, and I didn't know what to do. Yes, okay, I was wrong for kicking you in the crotch, and I'm sorry if that hurt you, but I'm not going to sit here and apologize for being scared out of my mind." Sulli took a breath, finally looking away from Yaş, "You look like you want to kill me half the time anyway, so it didn't really help to watch you look like you wanted to fucking hunt me, Yaşru."

"You never ran before, when you were scared." Magnus says, taking a seat again on the bed, shrugging, "Just pointing that out."

"Yeah, well as we figured out, a lot of my problems come from the fact that I don't run." Sulli sighed, closing their eyes before running a hand through their hair, and looking back down to their leg, "Is it broken?"

"No." Cassie shook her head, pulling at her fingers, "It's just harder to heal humans than it is to heal non-humans."

"Oh, why's that?" Sulli looked up again, ignoring whatever look Yaşru was now giving them, and instead trying to wrap their head around a whole hell of a lot more information.

"Cause of all the iron in your blood. Humans are also naturally resistant to magic and arcane abilities." She nodded, "Things like iron, silver, holy water-"

"Holy water?" Sulli blinked, "But- isn't that religious?"

"It can be used for that purpose, but it's an incantation to bless it." Kelsey explained offhandedly, pulling up his legs to cross them. Sulli nodded again slowly, mentally marking that down somewhere before looking back to Cassiopeia.

"There are other ones too, but those are the top three." She sighed, "It's why humans and animals have iron in their blood, as a natural defense towards other species. It makes it harder to affect humans with spells and things, but it also makes it more difficult to heal them because the magic has to get past the natural defenses your body has."

"Wait, wait- so-" Sulli rubbed their face, "You don't have any iron in your blood??"

Cassie shrugs, "We probably have a little from food and things, but we also have proteins in our body that break it down so it doesn't stay in the bloodstream, and we have other support systems instead of Iron to keep us going."

Right.

She motions towards Sulli's leg, "Which is why it isn't healed completely yet, it will be soon, and now that you're awake it'll be faster, so I wouldn't worry."

"Thank you." Sulli's throat feels constricted, and thoughts dwindle in their head as they look back down at the bed where they're sitting. "So, The Festival, everyone here was also a-"

Monster.

"Um- a, not human?" Sulli doesn't want to call them monsters, because they might be on a technical level, but in the more common sense of the word, they weren't even close. It was pretty clear that they stopped themselves from using the word, but Sulli thought it was still better than actually saying it.

"Yeah." Adelaide nodded, "The Kwon's are important to the non-human society, so hosting a Samhain ball for us is a big deal, and families come from all over Europe and the Feywild to attend, the veil is thin enough that it's easy for them to travel in between planes."

"And, they were all just in a human form?"

Cassie hesitated, "Not exactly, Sulli. None of us were in human form, which is why it was so surprising for Yaşru when you kicked him in the-"

"We got it, Cass, thanks." Yaşru snaps behind Sulli, and Julian snaps right back.

"Watch it, Yaş."

Sulli puts in a pin in that, looking back to Cassie, who's staring at Julian for a quiet second before she shakes her head and turns back to them. "The earrings I made you were spelled, but, when you ran out, you lost one of them, so you were able to see what was happening."

"But Yaşru-"

"I stay in my human form most of the time anyway, it's pretty similar as is." Yaşru shrugged, keeping his arms crossed over his chest.

Sulli blinks, looking back to the angel in front of them again, "So when you told me it was tradition for your friends to wear your jewelry to Samhain, were you lying?" Cassie is quiet for a moment, and the answer is enough for Sulli, letting the weight sink down their throat. "So that's why you wanted me to wear them so bad." She looks away from them then, and Sulli draws in a breath.

"I think that it's best if I leave Club Lore." It's probably not possible for all of their heads to snap to them faster than they do at that moment, and Sulli draws in another deep breath before raising their eyes to glance towards each of them.

"What?" It's Yaşru who steps forward first, shaking his head slightly, "But- you know now, so why would you leave?"

"Because I'm human." Sulli clasps their hands together, nodding gently, "And I think it's a bad idea for me to stay in a place where not only do I seem to constantly put myself in danger, but constantly put all of you in danger too."

"You're our friend, Sulli-" Kelsey starts, but Sulli shakes their head.

"That's not what I'm saying. But I'm not supposed to know, and again, I'm human." Sulli shifts their leg, and they're thankful that the pain is no longer as sharp and debilitating. "And you're right, Yaşru, you've been trying to protect me since I joined, but I shouldn't have joined in the first place."

There's a pause, and guilty silence trickles in as Adelaide stares at them. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I wish I wouldn't have pushed the issue, Addy. I wish I wouldn't have asked you about Club Lore, and I wish you wouldn't have said yes." They smiled anyway, "You're just so kind, letting me infiltrate a place that you really shouldn't have."

Adelaide swallows thickly, pulling her knees to her chest, and shakes her hair, "But-"

"The deal is up in December anyway, and knowing what I know now, it's best to just call it here. It'll be easier for all of us. None of you have to tolerate having a human there anymore, and I don't have to say a much more emotional goodbye than this one." They paused, "Plus, it'll help me get over some of my own feelings."

Both Magnus and Yaşru's heads shoot up at that, and Sulli knows they're both about to ask before Julian raises his hand to shut them up. "Sulli, is that really what you want?"

Of course not.

"Yes." The lie comes out as easy as breathing, because the great thing about telling the truth all the time, is that people will believe any lie that Sulli really wants them to. "It'll be better this way."

"Better for who, exactly?"

"All of us, Madden." Sulli's gaze fixates on their friend, who looks like Sulli just asked them to carve out their own heart. Sickness runs deep down their chest, but they shake their head. "I wasn't supposed to be here past December anyway. I can't keep one foot in humanity and the other in the Feywild or- whatever it is, I'm gonna fuck up one way or the other, and if I do mess up, the last thing in the world that I would want is for it to be traced back to you." Sulli glances around, pulling up their legs, sighing in relief at the realization that it feels much, much better now. "Club Lore isn't meant to have humans in it, and while I'm glad you gave me the chance, I'm sorry that you had to hide who you were for so long out of fear. And I don't want that for you anymore."

"But Sulli, you already know-"

"You can erase my memory if you really want." Sulli shrugs, "Because maybe it's better that I not know."

"We're not doing that." Kelsey stands.

"Then If I say anything, you could kill me, just like Rowan - cause that's what you did, right?"

Magnus is quiet for another moment, then his features harden, "That's why you're leaving because I killed someone who fucking deserved-"

"I'm leaving because I care about you!" Sulli is standing now, and their voice feels too loud for their thoughts to quite follow. "I'm leaving because every single fucking time I do something that involves any of you, something happens - with Rowan, with the Fae, even at Kelsey's fucking party, something always goes wrong, and in case you guys want to remind me again, I'm a goddamn human. I'm supposed to be selfish, and horrible, and all I really am is scared of you." Sulli blinked hard, fighting back the emotion crawling up their throat. "And I'm not a part of Club Lore. I wasn't ever, really, because I am not one of you. I am a human, and that's all some of you are ever going to see me as. Because I am fragile, and weak, and stupid, and i'm not letting any of you continue to be weighed down by someone who can't protect themselves, so you can focus on protecting yourself instead, okay?" Sulli's response is silence from each of them. Not that it really matters, because they weren't going to listen to any argument anyway.

And just like that, it's over.

───────────────

WYN

twelve...(heartbroken)

anyway! just trying to survive here, my brother and his wife are again acting inappropriately in front of me, and honestly super weird, but it is what it is.

y'know, marshmellow_arson told me they loved getting responses to comments bc it means a new chapter is coming soon, or is there, and I've never heard of anything sweeter - like that's such a nice thing to recognize <3 I love it

also !! no naming names, but I've seen at LEAST three of you comment about a shitty sleep schedule, so I'm sharing my tips that I recently shared with one of you privately on here so everyone can hopefully use them and GET SOME GODDAMNED REST (sorry if my chapters are keeping you up late at night if it helps, they also keep me up)

advice from someone with insomnia and chronic nightmares
there are lots of things I've tried! these are a few of them <3

01. Have a routine.
----- Creating a routine can be very helpful with your brain understanding that it's time for bed. sometimes if we don't have a routine, there's no 'cooling down' period, and our over-active brains can continue to run full-power, creating a sort of trapped mechanism for ideas and dreams

02. Do something to release creative energy
----- It doesn't have to be right before bed, but at some point, there should be something to release that creative energy, it could be RP, writing, drawing, or anything really. doing a little a day can help a lot. sometimes, if I don't have time, I simply listen to music and daydream in between classes when I have time. setting aside important time can be really helpful

03. Do something relaxing
----- It's a very common piece of advice, but there's a reason for that. I recommend doing this right before bed, potentially after taking sleeping pills if necessary. I often switch between reading a short book (think small chapter books) and specifically, something I've read before. This way i won't get caught up in the story, and coloring. I enjoy coloring a lot, and often I put on lo-fi music and color for about half an hour to set my brain to quiet mode

04. eat something
----- Don't go to bed hungry, as someone who's also recovering from an eating disorder, I understand it can feel really bloated to go to bed with food in your stomach, so I'd suggest safe food. for me, it's rice. a warm bowl of rice with a little butter and sugar pretty much got me through my senior year of high school. don't be afraid to eat bug, and don't be afraid to experiment with your safe foods <3

05. keep water by your bed !
------ I almost always have a bottle of water by my bed, even if I don't drink it throughout the night, i find my body reassured by the fact that I won't need to get up to go and get some if I'm thirsty, it's really helped me with my comfort level

06. shower/bathe
----- Some people prefer showering in the mornings, but I do at night because of the switch it flips in me. I associate feeling warm and safe with being okay to sleep, so i almost always take a bath, and then do my nightly routine, such as brushing my teeth, applying lotion, and putting my hair up/aside so I can sleep properly

07. put your hair up
----- especially in humid weather, sweat will collect underneath my hair and make me uncomfortably hot, meaning I wake up more often. with thick hair especially. with shorter hair, I would suggest braids or even a bonnet will work unless you already wear one

08. experiment with sleeping positions
----- It's a weird one, I know, but in different environments I sleep differently. Oftentimes times i listen to different things when I sleep in those different environments too. for example, in the heat, i mainly sleep on my stomach and listen to thunderstorms. in the cold, I sleep on my back and listen to brown noise. don't be afraid to try new things either- different sheets, comforters, blankets, pillows, amount of pillows- I encourage you to experiment!

{I've got more if none of those work, they're just a little stranger sounding- }
they're just more or less for deterring nightmares ^^"
your older sib loves you <3

if you have your own advice to add, you can do so here !! we can all help each other get healthier sleeping habits/patterns !!

love you all so much! (we're not gonna talk about how often I'm updating still haha)