"So walk away, Walk away, Save yourself from the heartache, Go now before it's too late." The Script (Walk Away)

Joel Adams plays Bartholomew 

Dearest Bartholomew,

I remember that when I first saw you, I thought- Damn, that name is long. 

You seemed nice, which was why I befriended you. Of course, it didn't hurt the fact that you were hot and was a pretty damn good guitarist. After Lance, I wanted a person to hold my heart and not break it so harshly. At this point, I wasn't even sure what love was. 

But you, seeing you freezing in the rain without an umbrella, waiting on your mother that one afternoon- something cracked at the sight you and I just walked over to share my umbrella. 

You were a gentleman in every way and had things not gone down as it did, I think we could've been married. 

You were perfect to me and for that short period of time, I was truly happy. 

During the three months we dated, I think I would be daring enough to say that I loved you. In fact, I think a tiny part of me will always love you. Even if you still hate me. That's alright. I still hate myself for doing that- I hate it I hate it I hate it

I remember that afternoon clearly. May's summer breeze on this day was not warm. It was dry and unwelcoming. A sign that things were about to get messy. 

I remember it was one of our bad days. We were arguing about the future. You wanted to move to England- to live with your aunt and your cousin, who was a college professor. 

I wanted to move to the City, where I could start living the dream. I guess that will never actually happen, huh?

And suddenly, you told me that your brother had died half a year ago and now, your parents were divorcing. You asked me, "How can you love a burden like me?" 

And then, that was when it clicked in for me. I could love him with my heart, with every cell in my body but I would have to burden him with my problems. My depression, my anger, and my instability. I was going mad. 

So, I mustered up my love for you and forced those heartless words out, "I can't." Then, I walked away. 

I walked away because I thought that I was doing the right thing. I was deciding both of our fates. No, there would be no "we" in England or New York, and there would never be. 

But you know what my actions did?

It only broke another piece of you, and it shattered me completely. 

Even now, hours before I die, I would come back to you, I would marry you if you had just asked. But it's too late now anyway. I know that I'm going to die, and I will face Death.

I'm sorry,

Naty

A/n: Stuck in nostalgia & stress. nostalgia 'cause just finished reading with Crooked Kingdoms (ugh, I can't believe it ended. It can't end!!!!!) and Witches' Pyre (Noooo, it CAN'T end) Stressed because I'm now catching up to all my homework, and failing. 

Anyways. Four more letters. Even though I'm not so motivated in these updates, I'm going to try and finish this book before Halloween. 

I'm so excited for the last letter. 

Eeeek!!!