Assalamu alaikum readers! It's my birthday 🎂🎉🎈Whisper a dua no matter how small and dive in. Hope you enjoy the birthday gift from the birthday girl herself.🌹

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"What hurts more is that they  never bother to check up on us. I understand if they are angry at our parents, I'll forgive them for leaving without us because they are not responsible for us. Knowing what they went through, they should show an iota of concern 'okay, they are our siblings too, let's see how they are coping' but none of them did. After all these years they are here to tell us some cock and bull story " Rufaidah lamented over breakfast after switching off her phone.

"Calm down babes, no one is going to make you do what you're not ready for. I won't let anyone hurt you okay. Stop stressing, your head might hurt" he consoled drawing circles on her outstretched palm on his lap.

"Yeah, I am not. But yaya Shams won't stop calling and texting pleading for me to come home and listen to what they have to say. I wonder if that guy has a heart sometimes. He's too forgiving" 

"He didn't suffer as much as you did, maybe he has his reasons."

They continued eating in silence, watched a movie afterwards and turned in for a nap.

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Shams knew that it'll be hard for his sister to come around.  Uncle Jibran is also mad at his brothers he didn't let them into his house saying they are strangers to him and his family. He is not cool with what they've done too but he is trying to make up excuses for them. A sacrifice he needs to make for peace to reign in his family, for them to have a semblance of normalcy.

He called Hajar as soon as he reached the office and what she told him surprised him. He expected her to tell him that he is doing the right thing but she condemned his actions making him rethink what he had done, take a step back and evaluate.

" unexpressed emotions become toxic to the heart, and they never go away. Show your anger, let them know they've hurt you and don't force Rufi to do what she don't want to do. Let her do it at her own pace" He wonder how she is wiser than him at her age.

He spent the whole day reflecting on what she told him and he realised that she is right. He is going to apologize to Rufi and Al'amin who is also mad at him and give his brothers a taste of their own medicine for good.

He called his sister to apologize but both her phone and Al'amin's are off.

He met Ibrahim and Mas'ud in the gazebo with their parents. The atmosphere seemed to be tensed as he approached them.

"Assalamu alaikum" he greeted them with a handshake.

"Welcome home Shams. Were you able to reach Rufi? I sent Ummi to her house but it was locked" Mommy asked, looking like she is going to cry.

"I think we should let her be. She doesn't want to meet them and that is okay. They have no right to barge into our lives and demand for things to be done their way. You've been gone a long time and we are doing okay, she's fine and happily married" he fumed.

"Why are you acting like this? What is wrong with you Shams? You were cool with them yesterday what went wrong?" Daddy worriedly asked.

"I was trying to act cool but I can't pretend to be okay. They don't owe me anything. I can understand if you forgive them because you hurt them, you drove them to desert us. Rufi and I don't have to suffer for their own mistakes and yours too. They never call, never check up on us and now they are trying to act entitled. Am tired of trying to get this family together, am emotionally and physically exhausted of everything that have to do with the mess you've created.

Rufaidah is still messed up even though she's happy in her home, maybe she's still having nightmares and I can't force her to forgive you guys. I will not forgive you too because you're undeserving of it" He exploded, surprising them all.

"Ibrahim you're the eldest right? Weren't you supposed to stick to us in good and bad times? Do you even know that Musayyib is long gone or have you forgotten about him? How long has it been since you renounced your religion? Chasing this world because of a woman who cheats behind your back?"

"Who told you that piece of crap?" Ibrahim shouted.

"I keep tabs on all of you. Mas'ud is an addict, a thief and all shades of bad but at least he remember to be a Muslim during Ramadan, not that it's okay, but it is better than not praying at all and forgetting your roots" he glared at Mas'ud.

"I admit that am a bad guy, but I've gone for rehab and I want to turn over a  new leaf hence the reason why am here. You will not believe me now but i hope you do with time. Am sorry bro" Mas'ud apologized.

"What is wrong with you Shamsu! Why are you being so cruel to your brothers ?" Daddy yelled.

"I know you'll not want to hear the bad things about them because you're guilty and it is all your fault due to your negligence and quest for wealth, fame and this dunya that is not going to enure forever. I've said my peace dad, you should have a talk with your precious boys and see if am lying about them"  With that he left the house entirely leaving them in daze.

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Shams wandered aimlessly round the town, hunger gnawing his insides until he finally stop over at a restaurant. He couldn't eat much because he lacked the appetite. He tried his sister and her husband to no avail giving him no option than to go to his uncle's house.

Hafiz was waiting for him by the door, looking worn out as usual. They hardly meet these days because of the demanding nature of his job.

"If I were you, no one can stop me from sleeping on my bed no matter how bad they are" he teased as usual, clasping his brother's back. They went straight to his room avoiding the occupants of the house.

Shams lay in bed, deep in thoughts of how to appease his sister, to let her know that he is with her and will always be by her side.

"I wish I can turn back the hands of time and erase all the things that happened to Rufaidah" he whispered.

"I know right? Dad said the same thing yesterday. We can't change the past bro, we can only hope and work towards a brighter future. I am not telling you forgive them yet, but don't harbor hatred in your heart because it won't do any good. Allah knows you've tried your best for your family, made a lot of sacrifices and shouldered many responsibilities that are beyond you. He won't let you down, just wait and see how things work out".

"Yeah you're right. Thank you" they talked some more before finally calling it a day.

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Daddy is more mad at himself than he is with his sons. He knows and acknowledge all his faults in discharging his duties as a father but had never imagined a day where his flesh and blood will renounce Islam and embrace another religion because of his negligence and love for dunyah.  He admits that he's not perfect when it comes to religious matters but he will never let go of the gift given to him by Allah. He was born a  Muslim, raised as one and hope to die same.

"I think it is time we have a talk Ibrahim"

Ibrahim told his parents about the weakness of his faith, the symptoms, the emptiness in his heart and the day his wife came into his life. She loved him, was kind to him, gave him everything he has ever wanted in life and asked for him to renounce his religion and marry her which he gladly did without a second thought.

"I am aware that she is cheating on me but I can't let her go, she's my world, my safe place and everything in life. I came here because she has been nagging to see my country and Mas'ud contacted me saying it's time we come home for good. I did not come here to grovel on your feet and ask for forgiveness, am only here because my wife asked me to. I can't come back to Islam even though deep inside I know that it is the right thing to do. I hope you'll be able to forgive yourselves because it was all your fault not mine"

Mommy's heart became heavy and she started gasping for air. Her pupils became dilated.

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun!"Daddy quickly ran to mommy's side shouting for his sons to call the driver. Ummi was about to bring in dinner when she heard the commotion. she followed them to the hospital in haste where mommy is admitted into the ER.

Shams received a text early morning informing him of the condition of his mother. She had a heart attack and will be monitored for a while. He assigned Hajar to inform Rufaidah of the situation since she is still not picking her phone. 

He rushed to the hospital in daze, praying that his mother is going to be fine. They don't have an ideal mother_son relationship but he loves her more than anything on earth nonetheless and nothing is going to change that.

"Assalamu alaikum" he made his presence known walking into the VIP room where his mother was transferred lin the morning.

Mas'ud who was lying on a couch watching over his mother mumbled a reply.

"what happened?" He asked, looking at the sleeping form of his mother.

"She had a heart attack" came the curt reply.

Shams didn't say anything further  as he slowly walk to his mother's bedside, held her cold hands in his warm ones and  prayed for her quick recovery.

Rufaidah and Al'amin came in an hour later. Her face is bloated indicating she had cried.

"What happened B?" She asked her brother oblivious of Mas'ud.

"She had an attack last night" came his reply avoiding her eyes.

"Yahsalam! May Allah grant her quick and complete recovery" she prayed, still holding Al'amin's hands.

Mas'ud cleared his throat to make his presence known. Rufaidah spared a glance his way and continued towards her mother.

Al'amin exchanged pleasantries with Mas'ud knowing fully well his identity.

"Rufaidah" her name sounded foreign with his English accent.

"Yes?"

"How are you doing ?"

"Am fine Alhamdulillah. You?" She raised a brow in question to her husband and brother silently saying 'who is this?'

None of them is ready for her wrath not knowing that she is prepared to meet her brothers.

"I think it is Mas'ud" Al'amin replied waiting for the bomb to explode.

"Oh nice" she mumbled and went about her business.

"I am sorry Rufaidah. I really am. I know that i don't deserve your forgiveness but I will work towards it till the day I die. I am bad as a person, a son and a brother and I'm to be blamed for it.

You and Shams are strong, you inspire me to do good, you've gone through worse than we did and today, am proud to call you my siblings yet ashamed to be associated with you because it is unjust. We all make mistakes, bad decisions and unreasonable ones but what defines us is how we go about learning from our mistakes and becoming better. I know that all these is long overdue, eighteen years late even, but you're a kind soul, you love with your heart, not minding the wrongs being done to you. I beg you in the name of Allah to consider my plea and find a place in your heart to love me as your blood and to forgive me" he wiped his eyes, not ashamed to let the tears flow.

"I didn't even recognize you if not for the resemblance we have. I can't even remember a single memory of you when I got my memories back" she whispered, locking eye contact with him.

"I know and I am sorry. Please don't hate me Rufaidah" he conceded nodding his head.

"I want to hate you so much. You've hurt me. What you did shaped my life, it will hunt me forever. No matter how long it takes I will still be that scarred abandoned little child who lost her little brother along with her memories"

"I am sorry"

"You never called, not even a single letter asking how we are doing. You left and never looked back"

"I did. I will regret it for the rest of my life. Am sorry for Musayyib. He was such a cute little child. I have a picture with you two" he fished out his wallet and showed her the picture. It is one of those rare pictures of when Musayyib smiles at the camera holding onto her pinky shining his teeth. He was 2years old when it was taken.

"I have always loved you. The pain of losing you made me to become a bad person even though it is not an excuse and you're not to be blamed. I think about you everyday. I thought you're doing okay and better off without us. I never knew you're not staying with uncle Jibran. No one told us that Musayyib is no more. I am sorry sister"

Rufaidah ran out of the hospital room crying her heart out. She saw the sincerity in Mas'ud's eyes, she feels it in her whole being and can't hate him or hold unto her anger anymore. Her husband came out and lead her towards a chair where they sat and she lay her head on his chest. He let her cry it out until it turned to hiccups.

"It's going to be okay. It's okay if you don't want to forgive him. I will support you" he soothes.

Meanwhile, Mas'ud also gives his heartfelt apologies to Shams. Telling him his reasons for not contacting him. Shams said he will think about it, that their concern should be on their ailing mother. They will resolve their issues later on.

Ibrahim took the first flight out of the country with his wife and children. Vowing to never look back on his judgmental family who didn't support his decision and lifestyle. They are too backwards.

Rufaidah went back to the room with her husband in tow. Smiled at her loving brother Shams and held out her hand to her long lost brother Mas'ud.

"I think we should get to know each other first. I am Rufaidah Noor Sa'ad, and you are?"

"Mas'ud Sa'ad" they shook hands smiling at each other. It might not seem like a big deal to others, but to the breathing beings in the room, it is a huge step.

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Alhamdulillah. Be thankful for the good things in life. Good health, family, loved ones and above all  being a Muslim and being steadfast.

Years fly fast, days go by in a blink and we take a step closer to our final home every second of everyday. May we all leave while Allah is pleased with us Amin. May Allah guide us aright, cleanse our souls and make us among the dwellers of the best home.Amin

I think am sleep_typing. Say a prayer for me 😘 love you all fisabilillah🤗