"We can never know what might have been but what is to come is another matter entirely."

- C. S. Lewis

After peering through the window behind me, I could faintly make out that the black van had already sped off in the opposite direction. I know Ezekiel will be informed and I know he'll make every effort to find me. He seems like the ruthless type of guy.

I slowly let out a long sigh. I miss the days when I would just mess around with Darcy. Come to think of it, if she hadn't died we all wouldn't be in such a mess. I know it has taken a huge load on Jacob, he is the one with a vengeance for Markov after all. I still can't believe that after all that has happened Darcy is gone. There won't be any more of her smart remarks. No one to hold me when I'm not okay. No one to give me that famous look of disapproval after I've said something crazy.

Why'd you had to die Darce?

I watched from the small window of the seat in front, the transition of vast woodland areas into more desolate concrete areas. The bus halted at the familiar modern-styled mansion that I so desperately broke out of. I got off the bus after having paid the driver and wasted no time in walking into the house, quickly shutting the door behind me. I Instantly let myself fall onto the couch, letting the feeling of complete alone time truly sink in.

Finally. I slowly inhaled and then exhaled, picking my phone up in the process. I instantly opened my Spotify playlist and hit the shuffle button just for the heck of it. There is the intro being played out for a while and I am unsure what song is playing so I just shut my eyes and waited for the song to finally start.

My mind constantly wandered from my mother to where Jacob and the others could be right now. I decided that I would not go back to live with my mother and I would try everything in my power to keep her away from me. After all, I was just a love child, she only loved me up until Dad died. But then again he didn't even care too much about me. He was rarely at home and even when he was at home he remained glued to his phone and was viciously protective of it.

"All along my mind is going crazy,
There's no more room for love in my life"

I let the lyrics of the song melt into my mind, allowing it to drift my thoughts off my dysfunctional life and unto something else. Something more present.

"Memories of us are so vivid,
Crystal clear your eyes begged for me to stay"

I inhaled deeply allowing myself to sink deeper into this new state of inner calm. My memories are replayed as if right on cue, just like the rolling of an old classic film. His eyes were sincere when they looked up at me. They held a certain warmth to them, they were now utterly free--unshackled even from the bondage of his hatred. Those all too familiar green eyes are what haunted me the most right now. They had a powerful hold over me once before but I don't think I've yet to completely let go.

"And when I had you all to myself (to myself)
I regret not holding on a little longer(just a little longer)
Now I can't stop you from hating me after all my lies"

But then those same eyes told a story. Running cold under the surface, it was very cold and unwelcoming. One that told me to keep my distance in case I should ever get close I'd instantly be hurt. A story that didn't give too much of his past but still gave all I needed to know.

"Tell me you'd want me close,

Tell me you'd never let go,

Tell me there's still a little time left back,

Tell me you feel the same way too"

It's amazing how life could be so beautiful yet so messed up at the same time. I couldn't bring myself to the idea of the evening with such a person before. But here, right now, behind closed doors I am now facing to face with myself. The untainted truth. The raw reality.

I still had feelings for him. More than I would like to admit.

My train of thoughts is instantly interrupted by the sudden, fervent knocking on the door.

It's too early for this. Anxiety slowly peaked its ugly face. And right now in the face of adversity, potential diversity at that. I don't even know if there could be someone there to hurt me.

I hit pause on the playlist and only sat upright, all the while the knocking not letting up even for a bit. It seemed the person was now more persistent. That awoken a certain annoyance within me. Which is better than cowering in fear like a chicken.

Pacing toward the door, I repeatedly take deep breaths and exhale as I near the door. When I am finally a foot away, I pause, my mind instantly wandering about what ifs.

No, if this is how I die then so be it.

I took one last deep breath before swinging the door open. I released the breath that I was holding in when I find that there was no one there. Not even the lingering presence of a person. I looked both left and right, furrowing my brows in confusion. I quickly decide it's best to just close the door and forget about it, but right as I am about to close the door my eyes fall onto something. It was a flower--a sunflower to be more specific. It had been delicately placed onto the patio and pointed right at me.

Another one of you, Huh.

With confusion washing over me, I instantly crouch down and gently picked it up. Shortly after closing the door, I examine its bright yellow petals, taking one between my fingers I savored the feeling of how soft it was.
Just the earthy aroma of the sunflower was enough to bring back the memory of my grandmother's smile. A smile that was so warm and loving that it made me forget about all my problems.

I wonder who keeps sending these?

Just then, my phone pings, and I instantly rush over to check it out. On the screen, I see missed call from Jacob. But that was about two days ago, I must've missed it. There was also a message from an unknown number. I instantly opened it, my eyes falling on the three messages.

Why do you insist on making matters worse?

I better find you at the mansion by the time I get home

No worries, I'll deal with you later, stay right where you are.

My eyes lingered on the last message for a while, reality set in. Ezekiel knows. Panic invades my mind and I start to dart from one scenario to the next.

What if he's only a few blocks up? What if he'll do something? Oh no. What have I done?

All of my thoughts rush out the window when I hear the jangling of keys on the other side of the door and the sunflower is suddenly loosened from my grip. After a couple of seconds, the door flies open, hitting the wall with force to reveal X and Sean helping a very busted-up-looking Jacob inside the house.

"Oh, you're still here. " Jacob nonchalantly greets me, roughly dressed in a white T and knee-length black Nike shorts. The rest of the guys followed suit shortly after. I swallowed the urge to drop any hints about where I've been or about all that has happened. With that, I turn my focus on Jacob who had his entire thigh bandaged.

"What happened?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

"A dog is what happened. " Jacob answered, even with the evident struggle in his voice his words were venomous.

"Oh." I helped to prop up his leg onto the couch making sure that he was comfortable. I decided not to poke any deeper as this was not the time.

"So how are you here? Shouldn't you be back at the hospital?" I asked and they all exchanged looks.

"It wasn't safe there," Jerald answered.

"Doesn't it hurt? " I gently probed about his thigh, where the bandages were. He suddenly winced and I pulled my hand away on instinct.

"It's fine." He responded in a deadpan tone. I knew he was lying.

"You know you should be resting right now, "I suggested with the slightest hope that he'd take my advice.

"I said it's fine." He seethed, his tone driving with annoyance.

"But-"

"We'll leave you two at it," Sean spoke up before giving me a knowing look. They all left in an instant, occupying themselves with their phones and the television. Drawing up a chair from the dining table, I took a seat in front of him. His eyes fell onto me right on cue, adding new feelings of self-consciousness.

"What?" His eyes searched mine.

"How'd the mission go?" I finally asked as his whereabouts were all that consumed my thoughts at this moment. What could've caused him to be so battered?

He paused, his eyes going soft before he lowered them, breaking our eye contact. His jaws now became clenched before his voice came out.

"Everything went fine." He said and his voice came out barely higher than a whisper. He still had his eyes lowered and his hands were balled into fists. I sensed that this conversation had already put him on edge. And I wonder what could have caused such a guy who was always so cool and confident in his abilities to be so...

Angry.

And as crazy as it sounds, I don't know now, I've sort of had a turnaround. I want him back--the warm, sarcastic... sweet Jacob that I knew. The one that I liked.

Before I could register what I was doing, my mind is clouded when I feel his soft, plump lips on mine. My heart pumps a million beats per second. I freeze for a moment, unsure of what his reaction would be. He seemed just as surprised as I was but he instantly caught on, syncing his lips perfectly with mine. I realized that his leg was no longer propped onto the couch, but now on the floor, assuming a regular position. Just as I am about to pull away from him because of the doubts I had, he slips his tongue right between my lips. Our tongues dance, perfectly in tune as he kisses me deeply.

His kiss was hungry, it was as if he'd always wanted to do it because of how easily his lips moved with mine. He moves his hand onto the small of my back, pulling me onto him. I eased into him, making sure I was extra careful around him. I swiftly moved my hands in his hair, my fingers gently entangling with his silky, bone-straight strands. In between kisses, a soft groan escapes his lips and I caught it, kissing him more deeply and more passionately.

It's as if a switch is flipped on, snapping me back to reality when I hear the abrupt knocking of the door behind me. I pull myself away from him, both of us exhaling exhaustedly. I slowly removed myself from him, quickly making my way to the door. This time I hadn't a drop of anxiety within me.

"Sweetheart." My eyes widened in shock when two all too familiar pairs of Hazel eyes stared down at me. His body angled over me in the door frame. I whipped my head around, looking back at Jacob who now had his head turned, his jaw visibly clenched. And for some reason, none of the other guys seemed to actively be protesting my stay there.

Betrayal and shame are the only two emotions to immediately pierce me. Feeling dejected, I just gave in to Ezekiel, no longer fighting back when he grabbed my arm, dragging me to the same SUV from earlier.

****

A/N:

WOW... THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY

ANYWAY...

STAY SAFE❤❤

-Killerbeanqxeen