My heart is so small, it's almost invisible. How can You place such big sorrows in it? "Look," He answered, "your eyes are even smaller, yet they behold the world."

~ Rumi
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Standing there I was stunned at his sudden confession..

"Umar this not called love",I responded slowly.

"After desiring you from childhood,don't teach me what is love" he looked deadly in my eyes.

"And that was a mistake I would never harm your honor in any way,"

"It's not about mistakes it's about feelings that you shattered and truthfully it's hard to trust now" I looked at him

"I am going will talk to you later" he went without uttering another word

What should I do now?
His words from yesterday has not been forgotten neither from heart nor from brain.

Yet his confession was the least I expected.now.

Ya Allah.

"Areesha come down we were waiting for.you" hina api smiled through the door.

"Uh api my head is paining can I join you in a while ".

"Whose head is paining come down.you will feel.better Areesha i assure you" dani smiled.

"Okay" I nodded still.not wanting to go.

"Assalam o alikum" Amir said monotonous as I came out of my room

Okay now what happened to him

"Walalikum Asalam" I replied slowly.

"Amir have you seen Daud" I inquired

He stared or I guess it was a glare

"I.don't know" he spoke as he went away.

someone is having a bp.issue

Sitting in the lounge I could sense every one knew about the proposal.

There glances and sweet talks about my future were enough proof.

"Let's go and dine in the restaurant beside bhurban" dani suggested.

"Yeah I guess we should "Ahmad bhai supported.

"There is a walima ceremony today.we didn't went yesterday so we should go now" phuphee Said.

"We don't want to go" Asad bhai grumbled

"Areesha beta you were so excited wouldn't you want to go" aunty asked.

"Um- no I um".I stuttered

I had a very bad experience the first time I was excited.

"Phuphee why do you want take Areesha admist the scary aunties" dani spoke

"Sho doesn't wants to go" Rayyan orated

"I.guess she shouldn't either,the place is to much crowded and she isn't well."humaira aunty said.

"Granny is calling you" Ameera pointed towards her room.

Why am I not excited to go.

"I'm coming" I responded.

****
"No,I.want her and only her. You promised me how can you say to choose someone other now." I heard umar's voice

"My moon I know everything but your uncle isn't ready untill Areesha accepts it and I.can't lose him again after I craved for my son since so long."Granny voiced

They are talking about me .I knew I.didn't wanted to face granny

"Than do.something you can do it I know it."

"Beta what can I do if she is.not ready listen to me give her some time she wasn't prepared "

Thankfully she is understanding

"What does that mean granny I just want the engagement now after that she can take the time she wants."Umar grunted.

I don't want you.i

"Beta I am trying for you and will keep trying.But her happiness should be considered to na she is also important to me."

This is a shock

"Than why did you said you could do it am I nothing to you."

You are her everything

"Your my life beta .let me see if I can insist her mom she has been an amazing daughter in law and have never rejected any of my demands" .

What no ,
I thought you just Said you considered my feelings,

"Yah tell her granny or speak to Areesha itself she won't deny you.."

Ufff

"I have called her beta I will speak to her."

That's why.

"Granny you have always supported me in all my wishes and this the wish.I prefer the most now.you have to make her agree."

Why don't I prefer

"I will don't you woryy your granny is there for you."

And for me.

Taking a deep breath I knocked.on her door.

"AREESHA beta come in come in" she smiled.

"You called granny" I asked without glancing him.

"Yes I wanted to talk to you both sit here" she pointed.

"How are you now I heard you had fever?"

"I am fine now" I answered politely

"My flower you know since you were small I desired to see both of you together .and now when the time has come I can't explain how happy I am".She started.

"Beta your father is fully supporting you and will agree only if you do ..why are you refusing?" she asked.

"I uh.I "

"Granny tell her to agree now than" Umar glared at me..

"I will never choose something that will be harmful to you dear.Umar will prove to be the best husband
I.want you to agree I don't know for.how.much long will I live but I.want to.see you.both settle together.
For your granny will you agree."

"Please Granny ca can I get sometime please "I said politely.

"You wouldn't agree will you" Umar pointed.

"I just need some time".I.replied slowly.

"Okay than there is one more thing you both talk it out and whatever will be the outcome i am ready to.accept it" granny looked at us.

"Please talk to each other" she left

What does this mean

"Where are you going" he inquired. As I got up

"I.have to be somewhere."I responded

"Hina api told me that you accepted my proposal I didn't knew about it when I came to you"he gazed me

"I I shouldn't have done that I just didn't knew what to say when.Granny told me you rejected it"

"Please I.have to go"I looked away

"You heard granny didn't you ,please talk."
"And how are you feeling now?"

"I am fine and please I.have to leave" I said politely

"Areesha.I love you"

Oh my

"Please Umar we will talk later."

My heart raced

"I said I love you" he gritted.

"Umar" I started

"That's enough
What you girls want money a big house a handsome husband and servants so you don't have to do anything. I am giving you all this than what is the matter . why are you not accepting and showing attitude.. I have had enough I don't take no for an answer..willingly accept it or you will have to unwillingly. He threatened"

Hearing those words halted all my senses all my thoughts and made me numb ..standing in front of me was a person who claimed that he loves me..
Didn't he know the difference between to love someone or to possess someone..my heart. Was not even once wrong about my feelings towards him..the person who thinks money and power can buy love ...he is wrong very wrong
money sometimes may have a power to buy a person..but a true love cannot be bought with it only infatuation can be ..and mostly infatuation is mistaken with love..

"Why are you not answering... While I am standing here giving you some advice to correct your decision." He glared

"Umar today you have not only insulted me but all the girls in the world..this shows how much you respect them and what you think of them..
Many times girl's bow there head in front of their family accepting whatever they want her to do believing that their decision is the best. Its not because she loves money or material things but because she knows her elders are capable of making right decision for her...
Every girl desires of a nice house and some other things but the most she desires is a good and loving husband who will respect her and care for her..
Every girl will reject money and all those things you talked about if she knows that she will not be loved.
She will choose love and care above everything... You have painted such a horiblle picture of love and marriage that I am now thinking should I even consider you for it...accepting is a long way..."

"I will see what you will choose for your daughter when she grows up her happiness and comfort or materials for her.."

"A gold that bites your ears is of no use"...

"Our daughter you are wrong our daughter.." he stated

"I don't want my daughter to have a father like you.
I would never let her love money over people. I will never let her be in an illusion never."I glared

"You are crossing your boundaries"he flared

"No I had croosed all my boundaries of self respect and heart when I agreed for you.."I responded

"Was it a mistake."he inquired

"It is a mistake.".

"Don't you understand that I love you and had always loved you since I was small.."he sighed

"You are my childhood love don't you understand that.."he added

"Wrong umar I am your childhood obsession., Your childhood craze.not love please don't compare something pure to something filthy.."

"Areesha you don't understand" he shouted.

"What's going on and why are you shouting at her" Amir came

Oh no

"It's non of your business leave" Umar flared.

"A Amir um it's nothing please:-

"Areesha leave" Amir instructed.

"Who are you to order her?" Umar glared.

"And who are you to raise your voice at her. Don't you ever dare to do that again understand" Amir pointed.

"She is not your anything for you to be protective over he r don't come between us and leave."Umar pointed at the door

"Umar Please I don't want a fight" I looked at him

"Areesha didn't you hear me leave" Amir glared making me flinch at my position
Obliging I went near the door.

"I will see you" Umar gritted at Amir.glaring at me he banged the door leaving

"Areesha were you in your senses to be alone here with him apart from all the house" Amir inquired.

"I I granny called me" I said averting my eyes from the slammed door

"You could have left with her" he pointed.

"She told me to talk."

"You shouldn't have been here no matter who orders you."he responded

"Now go and I wouldn't appreciate you seeing with him again"

Who knows what's in my destiny.

Without a word I left.

"Areeesha only few days are left for you to go and your locked up in the room."sana chided hoping on my bed.

After that incident I kept thinking what is awaiting on the future for me

"I was in the lounge few hours ago" I pointed.

"I will miss you" she sighed.

"I will miss you too" I smiled sitting besides her.

"How are you feeling now?" She bumped her shoulder with mine.

"I am fine sana."

"What happened sana you look lost" I asked seeing her.

"Yeah I am dreading the time you all will leave the house will become empty" she layed on the bed.

"Don't worry marry soon we will come again" I winked.

"Very funny" she scolded.

"I am serious" I smirked.

"Why.Don't you marry?" she glared .

"Let's um change the topic."I averted my eyes from her

"Sana sehar isn't our relative right" I inquired

"Yeah her family was a neighbor that grew closer to granny I guess something like that why?" she asked.

"Just like that" I shrugged

"Have you had a crush on anyone" she inquired.

"No" I responded truthfully.

"Not even an actor ,painter ,author,or anyone "she asked again.

"No I didn't I don't know why but I just didn't had any."

"That's nice actually wonderful "she smiled."but why didn't you like I meant at least annnny one."

"Noo" I shook my head

"Did you.had any" I raised my eyebrow.

"Of course I.have the biggest crush on baby zaki sigh if only he was big" she said dreamily making me chuckle

"Okay you rest now Daud is already asleep we have to go somewhere tomorrow so SLEEP early."

"Where" I inquired.

"I don't know a very famous restaurant I.guess".She said

"Now good night ALLAH Hafez" she kissed .

"Allah Hafez"

****

IN the darkness of the night after attaining the glow of fajr I recited ayat ul kursi with some more special duas and blowed it on my.family and my future husband .
since I heard that our pairs are made while our the names are written besides each other high above the beautiful skies. I developed a habit of blowing and praying for my future husband and giving him in Allah's protection
I don't know who he is I am not sure where he is all I know he is in the care of Allah.the most High

But many times since I have started doing this I thought how special he is that everyday without him knowing someone hands him in Allah's protection before every dawn till every dusk

****
Opening my eyes slowly I saw someone sitting on the dining chair..

I.got up to see mom with her head in her hands.

"Mom" I called caustically.

Looking up with sadness in her eyes she started
" I didn't expect this from you Areesha."

"What have I done" I.asked confused.

"Don't you dare aske me.that" she got up making me flinch.

"Mum what happened" I.asked scared.

"Tell me have I not been a friend to you have I not told you to discuss everything with me "

"Mum" I interrupted.

"Stop tell me ."She glared

"I have told you earlier that if you ever like someone there is nothing wrong in that but you have to tell me.I said it or not!" she flared

"Y y yes y you did" I said cautiously

"Than why ,did you betrayed your own parents by indulging in these haram acts" she threw papers at me

What is she talking about

"That's why you didn't wanted to marry Umar this was the pathetic reason for refusing the proposal."

"You have ashamed me ,there everyone praises your character throughout and here this is your character" she flared pointing at the papers she threw.

"Look at them I found them from your purse.who is that stupid person you have been writing and receiving letters from"she glared . Making me numb.

"Mummy you know I wouldn't ever do anything like that" I responded as tears shone in my eyes.

"Areesha if someone had asked me to write and give a proof of your chastity .
I would have with closed eyes.but seeing these with my own eyes I am still in a shock."

"See it's clearly written by you that you will not marry him not anyone but only that person" she opened the crumbled letter.

Gulping my tears I read the letter.,the things written on it were so inappropriate that I wasn't able to read further.

"This is a lie mummy" I looked at her trying to prove my crumbling modesty.

"I will see you later I am refraining myself I don't want to say anything that we both will regret later".She slammed the door crushing me from both inside and out.

What will I do now I thought tears sliding on my cheeks.

Assalam o alikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu

How are dear readers.

Your thoughts about the chapter how was it.I would love to know your thoughts

And who could have kept the letters.

Could it be Areesha hiding something.Or someone playing with her modesty?