Why me?What did I do to deserve this?Was I that bad?

We've all asked ourselves this question at some point in our lives.
When everything seemed to be going downhill and there was no one to confide or talk to.
At times we want to desperately open up but the demons are too strong to be let loose. They grip you and suck the life out of you until all that is left of is sad memories, insecurities and a shell of yourself.

Aagneya was also floating in the same boat. Her demons were having a party and the pity just made it worse.

Numerous people had called up wanting to speak to her, wanting to meet her. People she didn't know, people she knew, they all just had pity to give to her. They meant good but their way wasn't the best. She wanted to yell and throw a fit but somewhere the will to do anything had been lost. To get up everyday in the hospital for a week straight, listening to the beeping of monitors and only loneliness as a companion was hard. She just wanted to erase everything and go to sleep without having nightmares.

Advitha and Niteesha had visited her almost everyday, trying to cheer her up. They cracked jokes, held her while she cried and waited for her to talk. They tried to understand the enormity of the pain she was going through.
Even Aagneya smiled a few times, trying to make them feel as if their efforts were not a waste but those smiles were never from the heart.

They new it would take time for her to come back. But they also knew she may never come back because some pieces are to broken to be joined again. Even if you super-glue all the big pieces, there will be those tiny shards that can't be fixed. These tiny shards make the figure look complete but they're lost. Lost under the table,in the crevices and just have to broomed.

But for now it was too early to fix even those big pieces.
For now Aagneya had to go home.

Aagneya's POV

Home...

I stood at the entrance, waiting for my grandmom to come and do the aarti to remove all the bad omens. Sure,I believed in god but my trust on him had reduced. I always thought he would protect me but now I knew no god would have saved me.

The door was open and the smell of home was wafting towards me.
I missed it so much. I wish I had reached home safe that day. Then maybe I also would have been attending Rishi's party today. I wanted to stop thinking about that day but somehow everything in my head came back to that topic.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sounds of the holy bell and my grandmothers chants. She looped the thali around me seven times and put a small tika(dot) on my forehead. As soon as I walked inside my grandparents engulfed me in their hug.
My nani's mogra flowers and my nanu's coconuty fragrance gave me strange calming feeling. I wanted to hug them back but a small voice in the back of my head stopped me.

......

I think the lunch was quite peaceful, well as peaceful as it can get with everything that happened. My grandparents and parents tried to talk to me and have a conversation but whenever I tried to speak to them, my eyes started to fill with tears on their own.
I couldn't even manage to get out monosyllables.

Their faces fell and the smiles dimmed a little and I felt a sharp jab in my heart. It seemed as if I only got disappointment and hurt to my family.
After that even I couldn't get my self to eat the Rajma-Chawal that my grandfather had lovingly made for me.

There was a sharp metal wire surrounding my heart right now.
Even though though the pins made my heart bleed, the wire held up my heart from falling to the ground.
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Glossary:
Aarti: A type of ritual performed in India, by looping a plate with a small oil lamp/diya ,rice etc around a person in small circles while starting anything new or auspicious mostly to ward of evil and bad omens.

Thali:Plate

Mogra: Jasmine flower.

Rajma-Chawal: A dish made mostly in India with red kidney beans and rice.

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Hi guys. Hope you all are doing fine.
Here's the update. I am so ashamed of myself cause this is the first update in a whole month.
Pls do tell me how the chapter was either here in the comments or you can also DM me. If there is anything particular that you expect from future updates pls do tell me. I'll surely try to incorporate it.
Till the next update, don't forget to:

Date:21/12/20
ओम