• A brief overview

A lot of you would have heard this writing advice as it is one of the fundamental parts of writing. And it’s something majority of you suck at, all for one simple reason. It is actually easy to apply but very difficult to understand. That’s the strange dilemma.

Even when I tell some writers to practice more showing, I find it hard letting them know exactly how to do it. But you need to know that showing encompasses many things.

There is nothing wrong with telling, but so long as it’s not blatantly obvious, it works well. Other instances where you can use telling is to shift from one scene to another instead of boring readers with unnecessary details and to also give a brief summary before heading into a story. But the second option has to be done carefully or you will botch it.

Before I fully head in, there is something I would like to point out that a lot of you would have noticed. I will focus on two povs. Did you know that first person pov allows a bit more telling than third person pov? Okay, if you don’t get that, let me rephrase the question;

I find that it is somewhat harder to “show” in first person point of view, contrary to third person.

Has anyone else noticed this?

With this in mind, I have met some people, especially a guy who gave an excuse. He said it was hard showing in first person and so he stuck to telling. And it was horrible and blatant. Just because something is hard to do does not give you the excuse to write some sloppy mess and pass it off as something good.

It’s a bit hard to tackle, but if you work on it, you will succeed! So please, enough with the sorry excuses. It is POSSIBLE to SHOW in first person. As I said earlier, it’s easy to implement especially when you are well versed in a wide range of common vocabularies, but it will take some time before you can do this.

Because when you think you have finally gotten the hang of showing, after writing for a while, what you learn slips out and you revert back to the ugly process of showing. If you are not careful and of course, if you are just starting, this can happen. However, it’s harder said than done but it helps to be conscious of what you are doing.

It’s a bit hard to explain but when you are aware of each line and sentence, you will begin to pick that you are either showing or telling and it will get to a point where you will be able to point out instances of blatant telling. A feat you couldn’t do before you started implementing it.

So I will leave a tip. Don’t google how to show. Yes, don’t google it. I am sure a lot of you have read articles upon articles of showing and still found it hard to properly understand what it entails. You will think you have this theory down pat only to write and realize you still suck at it after so much practise and studying. Yeah, it’s a bit annoying that these articles only provide tit bits that are nearly the same. They will help you but only a tiny bit.

So, first things first. When you have finished reading this chapter, I want you to watch the video above. After that, you must read the book I will be recommending down below. So, let’s start.

There is a really stupid (I’m sorry. I have done this mistake too) error a lot of you teen fiction writers make in your novel. It’s no longer annoying but kind of mad. Especially when nearly every book has already done it. It is also a blatant sign of telling and when you read this, you will understand what I mean.

I walked into the school corridor, my hip banging into my Gucci bag as I sashayed past the perfumed hallway. I waved at the losers staring at me and made my way to my gold-encrusted locker. Amy turned around and hugged me in a tight squeeze. I returned the gesture.

This is Amy, my best friend of seven years. We used to play together and do all sort of stuff when we were little. Torturing our parents was part of it. She likes designer everything just like me and comes from a rich family. She dates a different guy every day, using them like dishrags and hurtling them into hellish poverty. She is such a sweet person. She likes spicy food and she can drink till kingdom come. She is the smartest person in the whole school and her grades are immaculate.

Did you see what happened here? Raise your hand if you did. Just kidding, you can choose not too. A lot of you do this freaking trash in your novels. And do you know why this is bad? You literally just had to STOP the story to go into that nonsense monologue. I am confused, is there something I’m missing somewhere?

What happened to following the story along with the protagonist to witness the action and behaviour of the people around her INSTEAD of have you tell us who the hell she befriends. If this is in your novel, please do something about it. Another annoying thing about this is how you undermine the intelligence of the reader. I have said this before in previous chapters. Your character comes off as a dumb fool who describes their relationship with other characters when we can obviously pick it up.

Another trigger is the use of filler words; you will know when you watch the video. But still a lot of you are fond of this. I will only use one as an example, but note there are many.

I looked at him. His eyes were like sewage water.

The first example. “I looked at him. His eyes were like sewage water.”

If you are a little observant, you will notice what is wrong with this sentence. First off, this is written in first person pov and that means whatever she sees is what is being written down. This can be used sparingly, but I guarantee your writing will have a better effect without it. Do you know why?

She is already LOOKING at him to be able to see his eyes at least, so why are you stating such an obvious fact?

He glared daggers at me and I smirked. Did he even know what he looked like at the moment? If anything, his eyes were like sewage water, disgusting but kind of funny. To even think he considered himself some handsome fool.

In the above example, we avoided the use of a filler word. Yes, we used “looked” in the sentence but in a different context. And since the character was already looking at him, we straight away described what she was seeing along with her thoughts instead of having her narrate that she “looked” at him.

These words are not exactly bad and authors use them too sometimes. But you can’t use them when you want to “show” when writing.

Another way to know if you are telling is to think about this . . . are you relaying information for your character or for the reader?

Understanding Show, Don’t Tell (And Really Getting It) by Janice Hardy

You MUST also read this book.

“An easy test for info dumps is to check if the information is for the reader’s benefit or the character’s benefit. If it’s for the reader, chances are you’re dumping and it contains told prose.”

“A common rule of thumb: As long as it feels like the character is thinking it, you’re usually okay. But as soon as it sounds like the author butting in to explain things, you’ve probably falling into telling.”

A lot of writers here are guilty of the above. Remember my previous example? Who exactly are you talking to about your best friend? Does your character wake up one day and suddenly start explaining the details of her life and friendship all in her head? Is that reasonable to you?

Please, consider all this as you are writing. If someone hates your MC for example but your MC does not know and sees them in rose tinted vision. It is up to the reader to pick up the clues by watching how harshly the MC is being mistreated and yet is not aware (ignorant simpleton). But you are a freaking lazy writer if you go ahead telling US readers about how wicked this person is.

Be warned.

Telling is good, but not for everything. Especially when it comes to;

• Showing Emotions

• Showing opinions (through well expressed dialogue)

• Showing sensations

You should NOT use telling for these things. The video explains it among other things.

There is also something very common with wattpad writers that you can obviously correct. It’s having your characters act and you flat out state the emotion they are feeling. This is very bad and creates a negative impact on what your character did.

Telling your readers what to feel is in no way helpful and it’s very weird when you then state what your character just did.

“Are you crazy, Thomas?! I hate you. You freaking piece of shit!” she shouted angrily.

“Are you crazy, Thomas?! I hate you. You freaking piece of shit!” she said to Thomas. She was angry.

Do you see what I mean?

Avoid this very thing at all cost.

I know how much you want your readers to understand what you are trying to convey, but your readers are not dumb. A lot of them are smart in fact and can deduce things without you having to point them out.

“Counsellors tell us that thoughts lead to emotions, and emotions lead to actions. As a writer, you can easily show your character’s thoughts and actions. Readers are smart enough to deduce the emotions based on what the characters think and do.”

The video and book is something you really need to go through if you are looking for the “perfect” tool to help. I personally recommend this because I have searched and seen/read so many things that I still had trouble comprehending. The video and book clears most of it up for you and breaks down every element of telling and showing. Again.

Book:
Understanding Show, Don’t Tell (And Really Getting It)

Author:
Janice Hardy

It is no problem pointing out when a person tells, but it is kind of hard implementing it. Again, don’t forget to include the five senses wherever possible.

Telling: She was hungry.

Showing: She near-inhaled the soup.

Telling: She was uncomfortable around him.

Showing: She stiffened in his embrace.

The word “was” isn’t a wrong word, but it can be telling if you are not careful; especially when used in excess. Also, do your best to avoid adverbs (most of them are words that end with –ly). Make sure to use strong verbs too. Download books containing lists of strong verbs. There are many but I use two;

And 1000 Strong Verbs by Valerie Howard

Honestly, these things I am mentioning have been repeated, but work on your showing. This helps to absorb your readers into the book. Tell like an insane monkey and you will chase away your readers.