121. Path

"Yo!" a spirited voice greeted at the doorway.

Putting his book down to abruptly lift his head-- Rei knew who it was a second before their eyes met. "Takeshi!" and he sounded so happy, "I haven't seen you since you were discharged!"

Rei placed the book-- something thick, probably a novel-- beside his pillow, closing it without placing on a bookmark, he turned his full attention to the newcomer.

Takeshi took note of that. "Oh, you weren't reading?" he wondered on a casual note, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.

"Couldn't focus on it," Rei chuckled slightly, "kinda felt like a waste of time, y'know?"

A waste of time.

Rei wasn't one to immerse in books like a bookworm, Takeshi knew. But Rei enjoyed books and stories as much as any other child relatively smart in the language-- calling it a waste of time? That was new.

And if it was about Rei, nothing was new for Takeshi.

So this is what Nurse Fujimiya meant, he realized. Seems like coming alone was the right choice.

He raised a plastic bag, "brought some sushi for ya, by the way," he grinned, "up for some?"

Rei smiled back with a little teeth.

 -

"Ehh, Tsuna finally came to terms with it?" 

Rei dropped a salmon into his mouth, munching as he looked at Takeshi eagerly, curiously awaiting an answer--

"Rather than coming to terms, we're just holding back the topic for a bit," Takeshi explained, his mouth half full with rice but for some reason his pronunciation was perfect, "the boss number nine grandfather guy said he wanted us to finish our studies up till high school, so that's the plan."

"Woah, does that mean you'll be moving to Italy once you graduate?" Rei sounded ecstatic, "That's so cool! You'll get to live in the Vongola Mansion and all, I bet it's super cool."

Takeshi laughed, "well, we'll be having the Re-Inheritance Ceremony on Tsuna's eighteenth birthday, apparently. Oh, don't tell him we're planning that."

Rei giggled, "it's alright, isn't it? Tsuna's ain't got the guts to ditch it."

Takeshi laughed, definitely agreeing.

Rei leaned back onto the backrest, his smile growing tired and his eyes softening in a little sadness. "I've... missed a lot," he grimly realized. 

"Not too much to be a problem," Takeshi assured.

He sat down beside the brown-haired boy-- on the bed, leaning over the mobile hospital bed table to open the sushi. 

They had a moment of comfortable silence. 

"What will you do, Rei?"

A vague question, but Rei gripped his fists tensely.

What will you do, Rei, from now on?

"I-" there was a choke on his words, "I haven't thought of it."

I've pondered on it so many times, I scared to think about it.

"There's nothing much I can do. Hold down the fort here with... Hana and Haru. Kyoko's staying in Japan too, right? I'll have company. I want to see Sae and Sui graduate. We'll need a stable source of income, and since I'm able now, I'll start working somewhere. Uncle Tsuyoshi's been paying my bills, but I can't rely on the Yamamotos forever."

The positive response. The answer that came as if it went without saying, it was the logical conclusion. Right now, any over-ambitious aspirations would be too far-fetched. 

What did Rei really want to do? And did it matter? It wouldn't happen, anyways.

So Rei's gotta suck it up and be realistic about it.

He lifted his head and gave Takeshi a smile-- a smile not too sad, he hoped.

But Takeshi wasn't accepting it. 

Takeshi's expression was pained. Brows furrowed, the bridge of his nose wrinkled. His eyes-- fixed so firmly on Rei-- narrowed in tears Rei thought would come.

Takeshi clutched the little bottle of green tea in his hand-- and slowly, lifted it to his lips and took a sip. A sigh followed, and Takeshi reached for Rei's hands, wrapping his fingers around the bottle and gesturing for him to drink some.

It was oddly quiet for Takeshi, so Rei simply, curiously, took a sip-- only to cringe at the flavor and nearly spit it out.

"Why is this so sweet?!" he freaked out.

"Well," Takeshi looked on the verge of throwing up, "Sui's been doing deliveries with I-pin... and well, she's been periodically playing pranks on me."

"And you drank a whole half of it."

"Sorry, I'm at my limit," Takeshi gagged.

"Right, I'll finish this."

Intentionally or not, the subject had been switched.

"Sui's been doing fine, I take it?" Rei sipped on the strangely sweet green tea, "she's been coming around something like twice a week now since she started working at TakeSushi."

Takeshi nodded, "she's really lively now, maybe she likes being an older sister to I-pin."

"That's a relief."

"She's also been heading to Irie's place, y'know that?" Takeshi brought up the topic, "something like before or after work every few days. I've got no idea what they're up to, though."

Rei perked up, "Irie that li'l--" he seethed, "stealing my child!" 

Hearing that, Takeshi laughed.

Rei pouted.

"Sae's been up Namimori Mountain often with Gokudera and Dr Shamal, apparently," another new information Rei has been missing out on, "Tsuna's been concerned about the periodical explosions, but Sae and Gokudera stop by mine or Tsuna's house late at night to get dinner or to get a new scratch patched up."

"They're fighting?" Rei gawked, "dude, what?"

Takeshi shrugged, "Sae's been terrified of mosquitoes nowadays. She screamed bloody murder when one landed on her arm the other day," he spoke in a joking manner, but Rei felt himself pale at the thought of any of Trident Shamal's weapons getting near his sister-- "ahaha, well Tsuna wanted to hold a funeral for the poor bug after what Sae did to it."

Rei gulped, "sounds brutal," he grimly considered, not really sure if what he was imagining was going in the correct direction. "She does have more scars each time I see her. Is Shamal bullying her? They're most probably fighting, or ...training." 

He was hesitant to consider that fact-- that his sister was trying to head down the route of strength, the route of the underground. 

She wasn't one to be forced into anything. She was one to force herself into something, and that meant a very clear thing-- Sae wanted, willingly, to be on the dark side of society. 

"Well... Dera would take care of her, I trust."

Sui had taken the step towards Irie Shouichi-- and Sae had taken the lunge at Trident Shamal. Betting their futures on what they knew they could do-- 

"They've both chosen their own paths," Rei found himself realizing that his sisters really weren't too young anymore. It wasn't in age only-- their mental psyche, adapting to the turbulence of tragedy they were put through, was forced to become something more of the adult they had to be. "...well, that kinda makes me feel a little left behind."

He clutched at the sheets of his hospital bed. I'm falling behind, he realized, from Tsuna, from the story that I no longer know, and even from the only family I have left.

"I guess--" he cast a glance at his own painfully unfeeling legs, "I guess I'll need to hurry on, eh? Work harder so I can catch up to them."

I don't want to become a burden to them. To Takeshi.

"I need to learn how to pull my own weight soon, so I won't need to keep leeching off of you and-"

"Rei," Takeshi put his hands on Rei's, "Rei, look, we don't think of you as a burden or anything."

"Sae and Sui are drifting apart from me and that's a fact!" Rei snapped back harsher than he intended-- but the emotion was evident on his face. Distressed, angered-- so, so upset at himself-- "everyone's moving on with their lives, Takeshi, and I'm the only one stuck here unable to make myself useful. It's frustrating-- it's so, so frustrating that I can't bear it."

Takeshi froze at the sight.

Rei wasn't crying-- but the look in his eyes was more shattering to witness than a thousand of his tears. 

"Sae and Sui's found what they want to do and they're working on for it," Rei's voice was choked back, "they're going, Takeshi... they're going away from me."

Standing up, Takeshi pulls Rei into a hug.

Takeshi was usually the more talkative of the two, but now, he couldn't find a word in him he could say. He was unspoken, unable to compose anything in response. He stayed quiet because he just couldn't-- couldn't bear to see Rei like this.

Hugging him tight, not loosing-- and Rei proceeded to reach to Takeshi's back, clutching on, seeking the little solace he wanted to feel.

"Rei," Takeshi found himself at a loss of words, "we... don't think like that," he felt the boy breathe shakily, and Takeshi found himself pained. 

A gentle, steady rise and fall of a single breath. That was the one thing Rei needed in life. And that one thing could only be earned after Rei had lost so, so much.

"All of us are waiting for you, eagerly," Takeshi tightened his grasp on Rei, "it's difficult for you and we all know. We want to help you... but we also know you would hate being pampered and pitied, so we kept away." 

His speech was slow, and Rei remained mum.

"We all think of you. We all want you to just go at your own pace. No matter how long you take to get back up, we'll all greet you with open arms because we all admire you," he promised, "so. please, just know that you're alright... and you're fine."

Rei choked back a whimper-- but his nails dug into Takeshi's back for a split second before his fingers tightened in a hug to pull him closer. 

"Takeshi, are you going to leave, too?" he choked out a sob, "like Drew? are you going to leave me behind, like Drew did?"

He couldn't bear it. Rei knew that what he was saying was selfish-- irrational, incredulously egoistic... why was he making Takeshi feel guilty about his own choices? Takeshi wasn't foing anything wrong. 

Why was Rei making it seem like Takeshi was being so cruel to him?

"Takeshi, what do I do from now on?" his face was buried deep into a broad shoulder, voice muffled with tears and bleary rationale, "what do I do, where, when, and why?" 

Rei clutched onto the taller male so desperately, desperately-- 

"I've lived my whole live, living out what was left of Drew in me. Drew was the core and the meaning of me. My hobbies, my skills, even my haughty personality-- everything that gave me my connection to everyone I know," each word was heavy, a weight in his heart he spilled with fear and pain to even acknowledge, "now that Dre's gone-- now that she's gone, what do I have left?"

Takeshi felt his heart break at each word.   

"I'm not Drew. The 'Rei' everyone waits for-- that's not me, that's Drew. Everyone waits for Drew; for the shadow of that Green Magician that can no longer be here. For the one that knew too much about everything and--" Rei's voice broke, his discomposure rising, his thoughts unsettled-- "but now," he sniffled, "now that she's gone... I'm the only one left. And I'm no one, Takeshi... I'm no one."

Rei struggled to breath through his snivels.

Takeshi breathed out slowly, letting the brood bubble within him. His arms wrapped around Rei closed, closer-- and he reached up to comfortingly pat Rei on the head. 

He held Rei gently, brushing through his hair soothingly.

"That.. might be true," Takeshi spoke, feeling Rei tense, "but Rei... I'm fine with having just you with me... I'm fine with you, just you."

Takeshi thought back to the silent, mute Rei that he saw for less than a week, who he painfully rejected, and who he never had time to associate with. 

"I regret I was too late for Drew," he mumbled, "I did something despicable-- but now she's gone and I can't fix what I missed... but you're here now." 

Takeshi brought a smile onto his face-- forced, trying-- 

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't accept you now?" he tried to make it sound lighthearted. "It's alright to change, and to be different, Rei. I won't ever-- and I'll never, ever, reject you again, I promise."

Rei's grip on Takeshi's back tightens.

"Even if the world rejects you, tries to bring you down, Rei, I'll be here. I promise I'll be here, always," his words were spoken softly, into an ear so it couldn't be misheard, "no matter what, and at all cost, I'll be here for you. It's a promise."

Rei felt the tears welling up in his eyes-- tears in a different form from the ones just a moment ago-- and he felt a different heat swell in his chest now.

Burying his head into Takeshi's shoulder-- he let out a chortled breath that held in a sob, a sniffle that bore to hold back a pathetic whimper.

"You're.. fucking cheesy," he managed to choke out.

"You're the last person I wanna hear that from," Takeshi chuckled from his heart. "You've gotten real talkativ since I last saw you, Rei."

Rei let out a weak chuckle in response, "it's because it's you, Takeshi."

"Well, thanks for the honour," Takeshi found himself in a simper.

Rei sighed, leaning closer as his eyes closed from exhaustion. 

"Can I take your words for it?" he whispered.

"Of course," Takeshi spoke back.

"Really?" Rei murmured.

"Yes," an unhesitating response.

Takeshi was honest and Takeshi was never lying. He never lied, never to Rei. 

Rei clutched him tighter, nearer, as if he feared to part-- and Takeshi held on, patiently, for as long as what felt like forever. 

There were no complaints, no whines, and no more tears-- just a gentle warmth, much-needed comfort-- and silence.

-

"Hey, Rei?" Takeshi spoke up. His voice was calm, his words were toned meaningfully-- "can I be your new reason to live?"

Rei leaned into him-- a smile rising up to his face.

"You already are, Takeshi," Rei chuckled.