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I'm lost.

I don't know where I am, but this place is complete darkness. I'm not scared, I'm just worried, what if I walk out of this darkness and there is no end of the tunnel? I might think I'm moving forward, but what if I'm just there, not moving at all? What if I try to amend my mistakes, but every time I try to solve myself, I tangle more into the mess?

I'm lost, not on my path, but in my thoughts. My brain is a fucked up mess and I don't have a way out. I am tired of trying to be all right, I don't want to be fine. I wanna give up.

What is wrong with Aurora?
Why did she write all of these?
Those words, they are terrifying, she is in pain.

In her letter, she told me she was finally all right, but these words, they carry so much pain, the words are heavy in her heart and they are messing with my soul.

I and Aurora have always been crystal clear to each other, we've shared every secret of the world. To us, it was a code, a sister word, to share every moment of our life, be it good or bad. We were always there for each other.

But now I feel she has been hiding something from me, something serious. Or has she already told me this but I don't remember?

I know she won't tell me anything directly. She knows that Dr. Payton has warned everybody not to put any pressure on my head. But right now, my head is a mess, with every word in her journal, I feel like I'm losing her every next day. She is right here, but I can't feel her.

I have to ask someone about her. Landon won't say a thing, dad won't even talk about her. It feels like they have let her go, she is somewhere away and she might be needing us, but Dad and Landon aren't there to support. I can only ask one person about her, who has always been close to Aura.

Meet me at Bailey's Diner at 7.

Sending her the message, I walked out of the room. I walked down the stairs when I heard a few voices. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but whoever the person was, he was talking about me.

"Does she remember me?" The thick voice came from the living room. I could see dad and Landon, but the third person's back was facing me. He had black hair, mixed with grey. I saw dad saying him no. "Alyssa neither remembers you nor..."

Before dad could say anything further, Landon placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. He asked dad not to speak anything. Their eyes shifted on me, I was standing on the last stair hearing them talk. Once they saw me, they exchanged looks and then indicated the third person of my presence.

I walked to them, still facing the other person's back. He wore a blue suit, so neat, so tidy.

The man stood up and faced me, his face had no expression, nothing. He is by far the weirdest man I've seen after waking up. Ever since I've come back, people have either welcomed me with a sympathetic look, or with a smile or whatever, but not with a straight face just like this man. He is weird indeed, but he is hot. I mean Woah, he could be the next James Bond, no kidding. All those wrinkles and more grey hair only made him look even hotter for his age.

I shouldn't be saying this, but I can't deny the fact that a man of his age can look so handsome.

He had his eyes on me like he was afraid to say something. There was no emotion on his face for me to trace. He just stood there stiff, examining me and all of the sudden, I feel insecure around him. This feeling, it feels like it has been there for long. He just won't take his eyes off of me, so I had to break the contact.

I stood close to Dad and he rested his hand on my back, securing me. I'm still not talking to Landon. He tried to mend things between us last night, but after coming back from the church, I was already confused because of my thoughts and the church guy that I had no energy to talk to Landon and indulge in another argument.

"Hello, Alyssa." The man finally broke the eye contact and spoke up. I breathed a sigh of relief. The stare was intense, he made me feel uncomfortable. The way he spoke my name, it made my skin burn. His voice held command and intensity.

"Sweetheart, this is Elijah. An old friend of mine." Dad introduced me to the man. He held his hand out for me to shake and hesitantly, I placed my hand on his. He held my hand for a quite good second and looked directly in my eyes. Do I know him? I feel like I know these eyes, these intense brown eyes. I feel like I have a connection with this hand holding mine, these eyes staring back at me, the smile passed on to me. That smile held a thousand secrets, I swear.

"Uncle Elijah is the candidate for the next elections of Mayor of the town." Landon stated. He still held my hand, I wanted him to let go, but he just wouldn't. Pulling back my hand would be rude, so I let him hold my hand because dad was watching us. The smile didn't disappear, it was intact, still there on his old wrinkled face.

He may be handsome, but he is dark. The vibes he holds of his personality is corrupt.

"How are you now, dear Alyssa?" He asked. Dear. Why did he call me dear?

"I'm good. Thank you." I pulled back my hand from his, with a smile so that dad couldn't see me bothered.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come to visit you in the hospital or after that because I was busy with the official works."

"It's all right. Not that your absence bothered me." I passed on a smile, trying to be calm. He let out a chuckle, so did dad and Landon. Phew.

"If you had remembered me, you wouldn't have said that." He stated. Dad cleared his throat, clearly trying to warn Uncle Elijah not to bring up any sensitive topic.

"Elijah has always been a support to you and Aurora. He was your favourite Uncle." Dad stated.

"I'm sure Aura would've been a fan of him. But me, not so much." I stated. I didn't want to sugar coat anything. I don't like this man.

He let out a laugh, a mysterious one. "You're right, dear Alyssa. Aurora has always been fond of me. But tell you a secret, you've been my favourite child forever." He whispered the last part like I was meant to be between me and him. But dad and Landon let out a laugh.

Is there some inside joke that I'm unaware of?

I excused myself and walked to the kitchen. I don't like this man.
I don't like this man.
I kept repeating it in my head. He gives me a different vibe, something about him seems off. He may be powerful, but he is trying to hide something.

How could Aurora like such a person? She would've hated him, I know my sister. She hates man who act smart and goody just because their money speaks more than their mouth. This man, Uncle Elijah seems the same to me. The way he spoke her name, it was different. He called me dear, but he had no nickname for her.

"How is your headache now?" Karen asked me as she flipped the scrambled egg on the pan.

"I was feeling perfectly fine until I was asked to talk to that man out there." I sighed and poured myself a glass of water.

"Who is he?" I asked her.

"Elijah and your dad have been great friends ever since their college days. Then Elijah left the country and came back before five years. Elijah's father was once a Mayor of the town."

"So the son gets to sit on the throne of his father?" I asked.

"Elijah is the complete opposite of his father. His father was calm, a steady man. Elijah is more rebellious," She stated. "His father left him all the wealth and he had the brain and sources, he grew his business into an empire and now using the power and name of his father, he is competing for being the next Mayor."

She knows a lot about the man. This man just returned back five years ago and is already standing up for the Mayor's post? I guess people just love him, or maybe he loves power.

"Will he be able to win?"

"The people are not happy with the current Mayor and the only best option is him. Plus, he is powerful."

"I could easily outrun him." I murmured.

"But sweet Ally, you're just eighteen. You have to be of twenty-one years of age to stand for the candidacy. You cannot compete against him." She giggled.

"I'd like to dethrone him someday." I stated. I don't know why but I feel like I need to teach him a lesson, any lesson. I just want to show him that I'm better than him. I know this is foolish to even think of competing against someone who is twice the age of me, but he makes me wanna punch him in the face.

I promised Neil I'd be his travel partner to school and so he left a message that he was waiting for me outside my house. I planted a kiss on Karen's cheek and waved her a bye. She asked me to take care of myself and I nodded.

As I walked out, I saw that the old man wasn't in the room. Dad and Landon were discussing something.

"Do you think she remembers him?" Dad asked my brother.

"She had no memory of anyone when she woke up. How will she remember him?" Landon asked him back.

"Will he do something?" Dad asked. "Should we be prepared?"

Landon was about to say something when Karen walked out of the kitchen and their attention shifted to us. They saw me standing there and shut their mouth. I knew it. I knew they'd go numb once they see me.

"I'm leaving." I stated and walked towards the door.

"Did you take your meds?" Dad asked. I nodded.

"Are you again going to walk to school?" He asked. "I'm not letting you walk to school."

"I'm going with Neil. He is here." I stated.

"Landon could've dropped you."

"The only thing he should drop is his thoughts about me and my health." I hissed. I could see him roll his eyes. He is annoyed at me, pissed that I didn't let him prove his point. But there is no use, he has already made it clear with his thoughts.

I left the house and found Brett all suited up, ready to accompany me. I stopped him. "You don't always have to be around me."

"That is my job, Miss Pearson." He answered. Brett shouldn't be here, he should be traveling the world with his gang. Honestly, he looked like a gang leader to me, the first time I saw him. With the tattoos, he could sell me drugs and I wouldn't even say no. Though he looked tough, he was the smallest bean I came across who could be called a bodyguard. When I first met him, I even joked if he was actually hired to protect me because he looked so tiny. Now that I see him everyday, he isn't short. He just looked short. Maybe he loved black or maybe he bought too many black shirts all together and now can't buy any other color because there's no place in his closet. Ever since dad introduced me to him, that was just before a week, I've not seen him wear anything else but black. His neck tattoo could scare anyone off, told you - he looked him a glang leader.

"Your job is to do as I say," I stated. "And I've told you already, but I'm saying this for the last time, my name is Alyssa and I only prefer that. I don't need formal references." I tried not to his at him. He is just doing his job.

He followed me as I walked to Neil's car. "Brett, I'm going with my friend. I don't want you to drive me to school. Thank you." I turned and stated. I couldn't see through his black glasses, he wears them all the time.

"I'll be nearby. Call me if you need anything." He stated.

"I need you to take a break." I declared. "Why don't you go out, chill with your girlfriend, watch movies or something?"

"I don't have a girlfriend." He declared in a serious tone. Poor him. All the hot looks going to waste. "And this is my duty time. I don't take breaks."

I rolled my eyes. I don't want to argue anymore. My day is already ruined and I don't need one more man to add fuel to fire. Men are...UGH!

I ignored him and stepped in Neil's car. He turned on the ignition and started driving. Soon we were out of the street.

"He is following us." Neil stated as he let out a chuckle.

"He just won't listen to me." I sighed.

"It's his duty. Your dad has hired him to look after you." His eyes were on the road.

"I don't need a bodyguard following me all the time. He cannot come to my school."

"He can actually. Landon has the official permission from Mr. Montgomery. So Brett can follow you in school as well."

"I hate men." I shut my eyes and sank myself in the seat.

"You don't hate me." I heard him say.

"You're not a man." I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"I have a penis. So yeah, clearly I'm a man." He stated his point.

"You're a pussy." I groaned and shut my eyes again. He let out a loud laugh. I might kill him someday, not just today.

After my outburst that day, I talked to Neil and everybody. I know shouldn't have said all of that, I was just mentally exhausted and they understood. They weren't angry at me, they were just worried about me.

***

"He is back in the town?" Betty asked.

"Where'd he go?" I asked.

"Texinwille," Zach said. "He has been travelling a lot lately."

"Can we stop talking about him?" Jamie groaned. Skye and Neil had their classes while the rest of us were free and so we decided to sit back in the cafeteria.

"He needed a break and so he disappeared." Betty continued talking about Uncle Elijah. I told them what happened today morning and they were surprised to hear that he was back in town. According to them, he has been travelling to different towns for his work and keeping himself occupied.

"Disappeared?" I asked, confused. Why would he disappear? He is standing for the Mayor's position, he should be in the town, look after the work and everything.

"After everything that he has been through, of course, he needed a break. Away from you, away from your family." I heard someone say. As I turned back, I saw the black-haired girl staring at me with anger in her eyes. Is she always on the edge or has she got some special hatred for me?

"What do you mean?" I stood up and confronted her. My friends stood up too. Jamie nudged me to leave the cafeteria but I stayed. She crossed her arms against her chest like she was ready to argue with a valid point.

"Uncle Elijah has suffered a lot. I don't understand why would he come back to your house after everything that happened."

Suffered a lot?
After everything that happened?

What happened to him?

"We don't know it either, Zoey," Betty spoke up. "Will you please leave?"

The girl let out a laugh. "You guys won't ever quit, will you?" She had her eyes on my friends, challenging them to something. "For how long are you all going to support her?" She asked them, giving me an eye.

Support me?
For what?

"Enough Zoey. You were warned not to speak anything, yet you do. When will you shut up?" Jamie raised her voice on the girl. The girl stood firm, not leaving the face of anger. What is her problem? Why is she always angry? I've only seen her three-four times but never smiling.

"I won't ever shut my mouth. I'm not a coward." The girl yelled at Jamie. "The world can shut its eyes and walk blind, but I won't. I know the truth and I'm going to speak up for it."

With one final stare, she left the area. The stare was more of a warning like she warned me that she was keeping her eyes on me. What have I done?

"What is her problem?" I sighed.

"Zoey and you never got along. You and she had a rivalry, everybody knew about it. So she was just talking shit about it." Zach declared.

Never got along?
We were Rivals?

Why would she call everybody a coward? Why did she warn that she'd never keep her mouth shut? What truth does she know and why does she hate me so much?

***

I had my next class with Neil and Skye. We walked towards our Literature class when I saw Liam and his douche friend walk towards us. The girlfriend of the douche was with them. They passed me a smile and entered their class, which was not our class. So we kept walking.

"Where is the other guy?" I asked.

"There is no other guy. It's only Liam and Nik." Skye stated.

"No, the older guy. I mean, he looked older than us and those people."

"Jordan?" She asked. "He must be practising for his next basketball tournament."

Jordan?
No, the guy's name was not Jordan.

"Who is Jordan?" I asked.

"The other guy in the group. Liam, Nik and Jordan." Skye declared.

No No.
The fourth guy.
The guy with beautiful eyes, the guy from the church.

We entered the class and along with us, entered the professor. So we took our seats. Neil sat next to me while Skye took a seat with some other girl.

The professor started writing something on the whiteboard with a marker. Once he was done, he asked us all to read. It was a poem.

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

It was by William Wordsworth, I know that. I just can't remember the name of the poem. I know I've read it.

"The world is too much with us." Someone answered when the professor asked the name of the poem. He passed me a smile, which I returned and Neil let out a chuckle.

"He is trying to manipulate you." He whispered.

"Why is that?" I asked back.

"He just wants to see if you still can annoy him the same way you did back then."

"What can I do to prove him right?" I asked.

"Answer all the questions. He may believe that you don't know the answers but will be surprised to see you indulging in discussions." He stated. I nodded. The professor asked any of us to explain the meaning behind the poem. He looked at everyone but not me. I'm sure he did that on purpose, he must've thought I won't be able to answer the question. But I don't need my past brain back to answer this, the poem has its meaning in the words and I can crack it.

I raised my hand and he was surprised. "Oh yes, Alyssa. Let's see if you can try this one out." He declared. His wrinkles forming on the forehead as he passed a smile, the fake one.

"The poet talks about the loss of nature caused by humankind." I started off. It tried to understand the poem and the words. "He says that the people are busy on getting and spending, that we waste our powers for nothingness." I tried to understand the last part of the stanza. Neil helped me too. The professor waited as I tried to crack the words. "For us, the people, nature is little and incomplete and we have given our hearts away. That is a sordid boon, according to Wordsworth."

The class went silent after I finished explaining. After a good minute, the professor clapped. "Brilliant Alyssa." He declared, with a genuine smile on his face. "It's good to have you back. That was indeed a perfect explanation."

I smiled.

"Woah, he was never this impressed by you. You've worked your magic on him." Neil whispered in my ear.

"I guess he likes the new Alyssa." I winked.

"The old Alyssa is not going to like this. She hated him, you must hate him as well. Follow your old path, babe."

"Who said I like him?" I asked. He smirked once he understood what I said.

The professor continued with the poem and everybody noted down in their books, including me. The bell rang and we all walked out of the class.

"That was impressive, Blondie." Skye said.

"It was nothing. I just tried to explain the poem." I stated.

"Now he is going to put more pressure on you. He'll ask you to explain every poem in his class."

I laughed and walked to my locker. As I opened it, a note fell on the floor. Not again.

I opened the note carefully. I didn't want anyone else to see the note. I've been hiding all these notes from my friends. I've already got a lot of many notes, some with stupid quotes, some with poems, while others stating something or other.

Do you think you can run away with your crime? you're wrong.
I'm watching you.

Apart from the first note, the rest of the notes have been typed and so I cannot even try to recognize the handwriting.

I'm watching you.
Crime.
Run away.

I know who wrote this.
I know I do.

Slamming my locker shut, I exited the hallway. I need answers, I don't want these notes. If she thinks she can play a game with me, she is wrong. She has to stop. I've already had enough of these creepy notes. If she has a problem with me, she better say it on my face.

I found her seated with her friends in the outdoor area of the cafe. I walked to the group and placed the note on the table with a thud. All their eyes shifted on me. They were talking about some experiment, but I didn't care. I needed answers.

"Care to explain?" I had my eyes on her. They all had a confused look. She looked at me with a smile on her lips, the sly smile. I already want to break her nose.

Eleanor took the note from my hand and read it. "Did you write this?" She asked her friend. Her boyfriend read the note too. "Zoe, did you write this?" He asked the same.

"What is it?" She asked. Liam and the other guy, Jordic or whatever his name is, watched us in confusion. "Are you trying to threaten me with your stupid notes?" I asked her. The guy, Jordic took the note from the guy and read the words out loud.

"You think I wrote this?" She asked me, with a laugh. Ugh. "I believe you wrote this." I tried not to lose my temper.

"You wish sweetheart. You wish." She stated. "If I wanted to threaten you, I'd do it on your face, not with these stupid notes. I've already told you, I'm not a coward. I play my games fair."

WHAT GAME!

"It is only a game if two plays equally. I don't even know about this stupid thing. Why are you against me? What have I done?" I asked her, the desperation in my voice should put brain in her to answer. I've had enough of these notes, I don't want them anymore.

"What have you done?" She asked me back. "Really Alyssa?"

I stood there, confused.

"After everything, you still have the audacity to stand here and ask me what have you done?" Then she raised her hands to clap, the dramatic claps.

"Zoe stop." Eleanor warned her.

"Why should I stop?" Zoey raised her voice on her friend. "What makes her think I wrote this?"

"Because you threatened me earlier." I stated. "You accused me of something. I don't even know what you're talking about. So stop playing games with me."

"I'm not the one playing games, sweetheart. The world is playing a game. Your life is playing a game with you. You're such a lucky bitch. Your fate is with you. Your luck is good, you get to move ahead from the nightmare. But how are we supposed to forget everything?" She asked me. "We did not lose our memory. We can't be a victim like you."

"ENOUGH."

Everything around me was turning blur, not because I was losing my subconscious or anything, but because of the tears forming in my eyes. Once again, my emotions turned rough and my heart tightened. I knew I wasn't going to keep up with us, I was going to give up. Everything that she said kept repeating in my head, every word hurting me like a sharp knife stabbed in my heart.

Victim.

She is right, I'm the victim, everybody believes that everybody treats me like a victim. It is not much fault that I forgot everything, it was not in my hand. But to accuse me of the same, was in her hand and she used it very well against me.

"Alyssa."

I walked away from the place, ran away. This girl, she has accused me of lot many things in just one day and it was hard to keep up. I had to clear my head before it affected my brain. I wasn't allowed to stress about anything, but this isn't in my hand. I can't deal with the tears, they just fall.

I heard someone call me, but I had already left the place. I had no interest in standing there and let her blame me anymore for my past, the past that I don't remember.

"Alyssa, listen to me." I stopped, once I was out of their sight. It was hard to keep up with all the tears and the running. I needed to breathe, I had to breathe. Someone placed a hand on my shoulder and as I turned, I wiped away my tears. Whoever the person was, I didn't want them to see me crying.

"Are you okay?" He asked. He was the guy, the one with J in his name. His green eyes looking at me with worry, concern.

"What do you think?" I ask him back. I don't know him, I haven't talked to him ever, but the fact that he is Zoey's friend doesn't make it any easy for me right now.

"I'm sorry about that." He stated. "Whatever Zoe said was a little rough but..."

"A little?" I gave him an eye. If he is apologizing, he must know what his friend did back there. "She has her bad days. Today is one of them."

"Who are you, her boyfriend?" I asked him to avoid whatever he had to say about Zoey. He nodded his head. I let out a sigh. "Woah. And you're here to defend your girl."

"I'm not defending her. I know she was wrong back there. She shouldn't have said all of that. She shouldn't have reacted that way." He started off. The fact that he and Zoey are a couple made me want to laugh at his poor soul. With that appearance, he may look like a huge guy with those muscles and the height, but with that face, he only seemed like a harmless child to me. He has a calmness in him, I've only seen him a few times, but he always had silence in him. I've heard him talk for the first time. I suppose that girl never allows him to speak anything.

"But I'm a hundred per cent sure, she didn't write that note." He defended her.

"After everything that she said, how can you say this?" I snapped at him. "She literally threatened me twice and with that note, it proves that she was the one to write it."

He opened his mouth to speak, but I shut him. "Ask your girlfriend to stop playing these games with me. I'm done with her pathetic joke. I don't need her to constantly remind me of my weakness. It would be great if she stays away from me." I warned him. He better listen to me and explain the same to his girlfriend. I can't compromise my health for some stupid game that she is playing. It was hard for me to recover and I can't be back to where I started from. I can't let her break me.

Without arguing further, I turned to walk away from him, but my head hurt. There was a sudden pain in my head, a burning. Everything around me started moving, my head couldn't handle all the motion. I was trembling, I knew I couldn't stand straight. I grabbed my head with my hands and shut my eyes to fight the pain. It was of no use. The pain grew and I let out a cry.

"Ahh. My head." I could barely speak. Before I could reach my bag and get my meds, everything started turning blur, my eyes were heavy, my head was filled with the burn and pain. I was losing my subconscious, I tried to stand still, but I was giving up. The last thing I could feel was me, falling on the ground with a loud thud and my eyes were shut.

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Hello Everyone.

I hope you all are safe and healthy.
❤