Jimin POV

"It started a few years ago..."

I started speaking and he widened his eyes in total shock, only giving me a weak, unconscious "Uh...?", as he didn't get what I was talking about and wasn't even expecting me to actually say anything at all.

"I started hating playboys because of something that happened to me in the past, a few years ago." I repeated and slowly started giving him more and more details about my dark past, while he started growing a more serious expression little by little, although his shock was still there clearly present.

"I got myself into an awful and complicated situation - from which, at the time, I had no idea of how to get out - thanks to someone I didn't even know the same moment when suddenly everything took place in my life and actually, to be honest, still don't know anything about today."

I continued telling him the truth, now without even looking at him or having any control and conscience on the movement of my legs while I walked, as my mind was completely focused on remembering and reminding me of those painful memories, which I always tried to keep deeply hidden inside of me and also forget...

"That... That person..." The words started getting stuck inside my throat for several moments, as I felt like I had a knot in that dry, tighter than ever tunnel - perhaps from me trying to hold back my tears without even noticing... - but I used all my strength and stubbornness to not interrupt my "story-telling time" and continue...

"That person... Took everything from me..."

"In only one night, I had lost my parents and I had to see them passing away right in front of my eyes, while I wasn't able to do anything to stop it. I didn't have the power to do such thing anyway - despite how much I wanted -, so I could only keep watching everything, that tragic play - yes: play, because of how so surreal everything seemed... -, happening and taking place."

The words felt now like knifes, desperately scratching, cutting and wounding it all the way up, inside my throat, only to be let out and be heard by someone - anyone -, but I still kept talking. Hoseok wasn't saying anything anyway - not like I cared actually, as his presence was almost invisible for me at the moment -, so I gave my mind and mouth all the freedom to say whatever they wanted...

"...He made me feel the most miserable and useless person in the world in the space-time of only a few minutes, maybe hours, or maybe the totally opposite, way less: several seconds... I'm not totally sure how much time it took to all that happen, as my mind wasn't right or anything near stable during the occurrence and because my perspective of time - and of everything...! - was totally broken..."

I took a small pause of a few brief seconds, in a tentative to regain and recover my energy and strength to continue speaking, as, now, my breathing was getting as heavy as my whole body. After that little break, completely useless and hopeless, I forced myself to not show weakness and keep trying to say everything I could possibly say about my past...

"Still... That incident keeps tormenting me nowadays and I can't erase it from my mind, even for how much I keep trying... I may try and try, constantly, every day, but, in the end, it won't chance anything...! I will only keep looking like a huge, naive, idiot...!"

A mixture of emotions started forming and storming inside me, which I didn't know how to control. It was maybe the just arrived anger that didn't let me have the control I desired so much...? Or maybe only the usual, predictable sadness...? I would never know... I would never care to know...

"I just have a wound too big and deep to ever get healed...! I know that... He knows that...! But he still lied to me before... But he still insists in keep lying to me, just to make me happy...! And, like that, we will only keep doing all these useless things, fooling ourselves, going through his forced role-play every single day, while the one that left me with such ugly scar will never be caught...!"

I knew I was no longer thinking straight, as I was currently telling my depressive past to a guy I only knew for one day, but something inside me prohibited me from shutting up now. I wondered if it was only my huge need to get all that pain off my chest, which I've been waiting to get out for so long...?

"Jimin, you don't have to do this... Just stop, ok...?" He whispered hesitantly and faintly, but I totally ignored it - well, not on purpose, as my mind had not only completely shut down, but also trapped me inside a labyrinth full of sharp spikes - painful flashbacks -, with no possible turning back - undesired entry, no exit: a prison, maybe...? - forcing me to say all these things out loud.

"I was scared... I was hella scared..." I involuntarily started getting my eyes quite wet, filled with a few sparkling fragments of water and thoughts, without even knowing, and I guess he had noticed me letting some tears roll down through my cheeks - I wouldn't doubt if he really had -, while I still haven't.

"Jimin..."

"But I couldn't stop looking to their corpses, empty broken shells, hidden behind that dark, sinister, deadly red blanket. Hidden also behind that deep, unbreakable, painful black curtain, barrier forced between me and them." I started shaking a lot and, yes, that I had actually noticed, but I decided to just ignore it too. It's not like I could stop any of those involuntary movements anyway...

"Those before beautiful and unique paintings were now all ripped off and losing their true, precious color, slowly turning, decomposing, into emotionless, lifeless white papers - but not a clean white, instead, a dirty, really dirty one, like papers that had just been thrown away like garbage by someone: in this case, by life and by their murderer..."

"Jimin...!"

"...With a distinct ugly, thick, hatefully strong blur covering them, I could no longer recognize them... They were no longer them... They were only failed representations of the people I loved the most... They were no longer humans... Persons... Neither my parents... Were only an insignificant and meaningless number to add to the amount of deaths that day, week, month and year..."

I could see my vision get foggy, blurry, with the tears getting wild and unquiet, but the fact of me crying totally passed by my side. Meanwhile, Hoseok was still there, by my side, with an agitated look, maybe angry, maybe heartbroken and concerned, I couldn't tell it anymore...

Somehow, I wanted him to not be there... Somehow, I wanted him to never have been there to hear all those things from me and see me in that state... But who cares anyway...? "It was too late by now..." For how much I hated that sentence, it was the truth...

"Too late..." These words wounded me the most every time, but, at the same time, were the ones that defined my life the best. That summarized and described my past, present and future the best. Yeah... Even because, I knew...

Yesterday... Now... And Tomorrow...

"It will always be too late for me..."

"Jimin!"

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New chapter. \(*-*)/ I finally have my phone back! \(*-*)/ Yupi! \(>-<)/ I'm so happy! \(>-<)/ XD Now, I only have to wait for the internet... TTuTT XD

I hope you enjoyed. ^-^

Bye ~(*-*~)

- Danielar