(Hey guys! Yukino's back and ready to make you cry!! *hopefully anyway. I cried while writing this D:* In anycase, little footnote, Namai is pronounced "Na-may". Also, sorry in advance. Sleepless night and no breakfast. Remember to comment and tell me what you think!! I find any errors I'll take care of them. But I may not find them all!!)

He's still out on the battlefield today, isn't he?

As I stood in the hallway lost in thought, the rain continued to pour down. Water fell from the rooftop on to the ground, creating a miniature version of a small lake that you could only say looked more like a river because of how thin it looked.

He...Kouen will be fighting again today..... won't he?

At the thought, I felt my hands begin to tremble.

Dang it. Don't think about it. Don't you dare think about it, Namai. Don't go there.

But it was too late.

Images of my bloody husband on a battlefield, images of an enemy showing up here in Ryokosho with his head on a stick, images of no longer of seeing that stoic man's rare smile.....that's too much. Even for me, "The Crimson Goddess".

Knowing I was alone for the time being, I allowed one tear to fall.

I recalled how three weeks ago Kouen had announced he would be joining his brother on the battlefield. I was shocked and positively fuming. He hadn't even bother telling me about this advance. Even though I am his wife that didn't seem to mean squat to him.

The day he left was definitely one of the worst fights we had had. In an attempt to act like the nobility I was born into, I had tried to put aside my feelings and had gone to see him off. Only, instead of the calm composure I had planned to send him off with, we ended up having a shouting contest. I even told him he was being selfish and not thinking about those around him, only for him to retaliate.

His exact words were, "I'm the first prince of this Empire and your superior. I have a country to think about, I can't just be focused on you all the time."

Ha. "All the time"? You rarely give me the time of day at all any more. Even in the first months of our marriage you only sent me flowers weeks after a problem I had been brooding over had been resolved......but......

"I know that already, idiot." I know he's busy with everything. From running the Empire, to dealing with his siblings and whatever problem they had created. It's not easy
Even I have been doing everything I can to lighten everyone's work. Even Koumei has been getting more rest than he usually did.

I felt the tears beginning to cascade down my face like an avalanche. "Am I... just not good enough?"

I remembered how we had met on the battlefield. We weren't enemies but even nowadays unless you look at our hands where our rings are and ask who the lucky person is, you wouldn't know.

I let out a strangled laugh and began to openly weep. Trembling, I fell to my knees and cried in my hands, in a last attempt to muffle my cries.

My husband is off at war, and I'm not there to make sure he comes back alive and in one piece. It's been two weeks since there has even been a report from the battlefront and the last one showed no sign of any progress. Not to mention, that fight we had had left us on a really sour note.

That man may be my husband, he may have three metal vessels, but he's still human.

And all humans die in the end. Be it by murder, sickness, or even age, we all die in the end. And the battlefield takes lives no matter who they are. Be they newbies or experienced soldiers. Anybody can die on that bloody battlefield.

I cried harder at the thought. Practically wailing now. The only comfort I have is that this part of the palace is hardly visited anymore. Even Al-Tharmen has seem to have forgotten about this place.

I cried and cried. Letting the feeling of helplessness consume me. Finally having reached my breaking point. I let myself be consumed by my thoughts of being alone in this world once again. No longer being able to see my stoic husbands rare smiles. I could practically feel myself shrinking, becoming part of the shadows as the rain continued to fall.

After what felt like hours of wailing and begging to whatever being watches over our world that Kouen comes back in one piece. I fell asleep on the floor, tears still cascading down my face.

~3rd Person~

Night time had rolled around by the time Kouen returned with the rest of his army in one piece. When he didn't see his wife there he had asked one of her personal maids where she was.

"Hmm? Namai-dono has been missing since this afternoon. Though everyone knows she's somewhere in the palace."

After hearing that and greeting everybody, Kouen went in search of his wife.

He first checked her study, thinking she was probably working herself to death again, only to be greeted with a silent and untouched room. Even her desk, which was usually was piled up with stacks of papers by now were nowhere to be found.

Next he looked for her in their bedroom, only to find no one there. Not even the sheets on the bed showed signs of his wife deciding to take a nap or her sleeping figure under the sheets showing a most likely exhausted Namai.

He looked to the kitchen, she probably was eating her dinner late once again. Only to find the kitchen staff going about their nightly duties of preparing things that would be for tomorrow's breakfast. But his wife was nowhere to be seen.

Stopping a kitchen maid, Kouen asked if when the last time his wife was here today.

"Namai-dono hasn't been here at all today, Kouen-dono. The last any of us here heard from her was this morning at breakfast."

Kouen began to grow worried. He couldn't find his wife anywhere he looked and she wasn't in her usual hiding spots. Kouen continued to look around and ask some servants if they have seen or heard from her today. Only to come up with nothing.

By the time, he had heard of anything of his hot tempered wife, it was very late with the moon long past it's zenith.

A servant maid had told Kouen that he hadn't seen his wife today, but she had heard what sounded like crying sometime this afternoon near the north side of the palace.

Taking a chance, Kouen went to the north side of the palace, which was practically abandoned due to it being separate and out of the way from the rest of the palace.

After a few minutes of searching, Kouen stumbled upon a shivering tear stained figure he recognized as Namai.

Scooping her up in his arms, Kouen held his wife close as she still shivered and whimpered in her sleep.

Reaching their room, Kouen placed his wife on the bed and tucked her in. After getting dressed down himself, he joined Namai under the covers.

He stared at the tear stained face of his wife as she trembled and whimpered still in her sleep.

Bringing her close, Kouen held his wife in a tight embrace.

Namai's trembling calmed down some as he held her tight. Kouen stared at his wife slightly frustrated that she was in this state and he had no idea why.

"K....ou...en."

Taken aback, Kouen focused his attention on Namai as she began to sleep talk and cry.

"I'm....sorry.... for the...fight.........just...please..........come....home... safe."

Kouen felt his eyes widen in shock. Not really believing what he was hearing.

His wife. His hot tempered wife, who is merciless on the battlefield and always speaks her mind, was actually worried about him this much.

Kouen felt his anger towards himself for not noticing it. The first prince of the Kou Empire thought to himself,

How long has she been worrying about this? How long as she kept this to herself? Is this......... not the first?

The more he thought about it, the more Kouen felt angry and ashamed for not noticing her worry sooner.

Again, Namai talked in her sleep.

"Please....come home....I don't........ want........ to loose..............you....Kouen."

Upon hearing his wife, Kouen narrowed his eyes and held his wife tighter. Not knowing why he was doing this, he responded back to her in a whisper.

"I'm home, Namai."

After kissing her forehead, he watched as she gave a slight smile in her sleep. Her tears still running down her cheek as he brushed them away with his thumb.

After a few more minutes Kouen fell asleep, with Namai in his arms as she snuggled closer to him. Her shivering having stopped completely, with a smile gracing her face.

Her tears no longer falling as she fell into a deep sleep with her husband unknowingly in her arms once again.

~~~~~~~~~

The next few weeks were filled with arguing, teasing, and laughter filling Kouen's study as he grew jealous of his wife helping out his younger brother and strategist, Koumei. Much to Namai and Kouha's amusement and Koumei's chagrin.