Highschool AU

Furno: Hey Surge! Wanna meet up someday?

Surge: Can't, my schedule's tight.

Furno: Jesus what do you need to do??

Surge: Hm, school until 4 pm, then late afternoon shift by Starbucks, in the evening I have to babysit the neighbours kid and then I also need to clean the house and do my own sh-t like homework.

Furno: You already have two jobs at 16?!

Surge: I gotta keep myself alive somehow.

Furno: What about your parents?

Surge: My dad has been on a business trip since I was nine and we both don't know how long it is until he'll be able to come back.

Furno: You're mother?

Surge: Dead.

Furno: Other family members?

Surge: My dad asked his sister, my aunt, to take care of me. That b-tch couldn't give two sh-ts about me and the day I turned 14 she left, saying that I'm old enough to take care of myself.

Furno: But-

Surge: If you're about to ask about my mom's side, they live in a far of country and plus, they didn't approve to the marriage and broke off every contact.

*****

Quadle: [Any progress with your sexuality?]

Zib: I know I'm Demi, but I don't know about the poly thing... Maybe I'm only in love with one of them, and the rest I'm getting confused with liking them as friends.

Zib looked over to Megahertz, Fortiss, Thresher, Aria and Bot, before he turned back to Quadle.

Zib: Nope, definitely poly. How am I supposed to tell them??

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c51KLmFHC4c

Highschool AU

Mr. Makuro (principal): Your son was caught eating candy in the boys bathroom.

Mrs. Furno: I don't see anything wrong with that?

Mr. Makuro: Bring in the kid.

Surge was brought into the office.

Mrs. Furno: That's not my son.

Mr. Makuro: That's "candy".

Mrs. Furno: ... *Realization* oh mah gawd-

****

Worker: You faint at the sight of blood?

Bot: No, but I might at the sight *gestures to Fire Lord who's missing a hand* of a CHOPPED OFF ARM!

*****

Zib: You punch too hard, you kill someone, you punch to softly it's a love tap. Other words you have to know how to punch.

Thresher: I've been a hero for over fifty years, I know how to punch.

Zib: Show me.

Thresher: *punches his arm*

Zib: Terrible.

Thresher: You show me a punch then.

Zib punched Thresher in the guts, causing him to topple backwards.

Zib: That's a punch.

*****

Stormer: *looks at the wreckage of multiple blank heroes with snapped necks, bullet holes and knife gashes* How did you manage all of this?

Zib: *puts a gun away* I was trained to kill from the age of four.

Stormer: ... What?!

Zib: What?

*****

G: *moves the camera to Rocka* This is Rocka. Rocka loves his personal space.

G: *camera pans to Surge* This is Surge.

G: *moves the camera to Surge hugging Rocka* Surge also loves Rocka's personal space.

*****

Furno: *puts the scanner to his face, it doesn't work* See how I can't scan myself? It's because I'm ✨priceless✨.

Zib: Or you're just not worth anything.

Furno: *w a s t e d*

*****

Snowball fight

The household decided to have a snowball fight. G was about to throw a snowball at Surge, when one hit her in the face and knocked her clean out. Turns out there was a rock hidden in the snowball. Surge looked at Raven who throw the snowball. She always put rocks in every single one of them.

Surge: Raven!

Raven: What?

Surge: Stop putting rocks in them!

*****

Zib: How would you like your coffee?

Surge: *just woke up from a nightmare, voice slightly hoarse* As dark as my soul.

Zib: ... So a Vanilla latte with extra cream and extra sugar?

Surge: *clears throat and voice goes back to normal* Yes please.

*****

Villain Factory AU

Surge: *wearing a simple hoodie and pants* Bye mom, I'm going out to unalive some people.

Zib: Nuh-uh, not when you're dressed like that!

Surge: *chuckles, wearing the outfit on the picture below* Better?

Zib: YAS B-TCH SLAY!

*****

These people

Stringer: I'll speak French between your legs.

Bulk: The hottest things I've ever been told.

Rocka: I'm just picturing someone screaming "BONJOUR~" at a d-ck.

Furno: *insert French noises* HON HON HON, TITTY CROISSANTS.

Rocka: TITTY CROISSANTS??!

Surge: None you of you should ever be having sex...

*****

Highschool AU characters in a nutshell

Furno: *le gasp* CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MARRIAGE!

Bulk and Stringer: *far from marriage*

Stringer: NO!

**

Grant: *to his reflection* Ohhh how sexy, take me now!

**

Nex: Rocka has anger issues and his personal motto is...

Nex: "If you're gonna hit it, hit it until it breaks!"

**

Breez: HEY B-TCHES AND BROS AND NON-BINARY H-ES!

**

Evo: *mind* I'm not gonna let anyone get in my way!

Evo: *trips; mentally* I'm a failure. After all that hard work. Sorry mom. Sorry dad.

Evo: *doesn't realize Furno's holding him up by the backpack; mentally* God I've been falling for a long time.

**

Stormer and Surge: *both hate school* YES LET'S GO!

**

Aria: How do I describe it? Like... Uhh. Like, aeugh-

Zib: Like fawow, right?

Aria: MHM, WAAAAH!

Zib: Oh lawdy-

**

Shadowzone: Off all else... I AM A GOD!

Everyone else:

Grant: Ohh, this guy's crazy.

Surge: I want to murder him.

Grant: NO-

**

Furno: If you want to know something, never ask me.

*****

Serena: *to a hero* I'll tear you apart, and eat your insides, while you're still ALIVE.

Hero: *mentally* Somebody help-

*****

Nebula: Purge, I need to talk to you.

Purge: *mentally* Sh-t, he used my last name. That's never good.

Purge: Y-yes?

Nebula: *inhales* How the F-CK did you become friends with someone who you constantly stalk?!

Purge: Simple. It's cuz I can~

Nebula: You do realize this guy works for the Hero Factory, right?

Purge: Yeah no sh-t.

*****

Baaaaasically-

Surge: *mentally* Wait... Zib and Stormer don't know what Shadowzone did to Breez today. That ain't right. They need to know.

Surge: *pulls Breez next to him who had a bandaid over her eye* Mom, Stormer, look what Shadowzone did to Breez-

Both: Oh hell no.

Later

Shadowzone: *rewrapping his arm that got injured while fighting Breez*

Stormer: *slams him against the wall and holds him by the throat while Zib was behind him* EXPLAIN YOURSELF, SHADOWZONE!

*****

Purge, after falling from the sky and through multiple trees and also broke a limb or two: *teleports to the mission to get revenge for his brother's and Vortex's injuries* Riddle me this, riddle me that, watch out girl this b-tch IS BACK!

Vortex's ex team: Oh god not this guy again-

*****

Child AU

Thresher: Fork!

Surge: *has trouble pronouncing the r* Fok!

Thresher: U-uhhhh.

Later

Zib: What did you learn today?

Surge: Fok! *Eats a piece of chocolate* Nom.

Zib:

*****

Lynn: *holds up her drawing of Stormer* I just realized. If Stormer's armour was actual clothing, he'd be wearing a turtle neck sleeveless shirt with a bo0b window.

Breez:

Lynn: Breez you little simp-

Breez: *blushes* Shut up!

(Ignore the bad lighting please)

*****

Highschool AU

Student: *makes a "Ur mom" joke*

Surge:

Surge: Not cool man, not cool.

*****

Stormer: Hey mom, I've noticed that you're starting to wear hoodies.

Zib: Yeah, cuz it's getting cold.

Stormer: You never wore hoodies in the past, even when it's cold?

Zib: I just wanted to start wearing them now.

Stormer: Well, if you say so..

*****

Serena: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

*****

Bulk: Why are your tongues purple?

Furno: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Surge: I had a red one.

Bulk: oh

Bulk:

Bulk: OH

Rocka:

Rocka: You drank each other's slushies?

*****

Meltdown, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Thunder: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Meltdown:

Meltdown: Water you doing?- also Thunder, stop doing that!-

*****

G, in the city during an extreme riot: What am I supposed to do?

Raven: If I were you? I’d try and make peace with whatever deity, pantheon, or Divine Other you believe in.

G: I’m an atheist.

Raven: Then just get ready to die I guess.

*****

Furno: We wouldn’t last two minutes without Rocka.

Furno:

Furno: Don't tell him I said that.

*****

Zib: You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Bot: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Zib: Absolutely not.

*****

Nex: What’s sexting?

Surge: I'm not having this conversation with you.

*****

Zib: How do you want your coffee?

Surge: Black, like my soul.

Zib:

Zib: Surge, your soul is a latte.

Surge: I know.

*****

Thunder: *Gasp*

Meltdown: wHAT??

Thunder: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?

Meltdown: *inhales*

Purge, in another room with Corroder: Why can I hear screeching?

*****

Furno: Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism.

Zib: How so?

Furno: It keeps you from screwing up for 8 hours.

Zib: Jokes on you, I screwed up my so called "safety mechanism".

*****

You cannot tell me Bakugou doesn't do this

Bakugou, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

*****

Speeda demon: So, Voltixx, do you have a crush on anyone?

Voltixx, hiding from heroes with him after escaping: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

*****

Stormer: Guys, I need help.

Breez: Love help?

Furno: Financial help?

Bulk: Emotional help?

Nex: Help moving a body?

Everybody looks at Nex

Nex: What?

*****

Furno: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.

Surge:

Furno: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?

Surge: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my f-cking M&Ms.

*****

Thunder: Do you ever think? Because I do not.

*****

Bulk: Jimi, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Stringer, in Bulk's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Bulk, taking off his clothes: F-ck, me neither.

*****

Complete opposites

Purge: I regret nothing!!!

Surge: I regret everything!!!

*****

Some even in the future

Fortiss: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff!

Rocka, who just might as well be the leader at this point: *sceptical* Uh-huh, what sort of stuff?

Zib: * a bit off to the side* I'm stuff.

Fortiss: Nathaniel, why?

Rocka: Boy, are you for re f-cking my mom?

*****

Surge: I keep a knife between my bed's mattress and bed frame, so that incase someone tries to attack me, I'll have a weapon by my side.

Surge: I also have my crucifix by my bedside so that I can hit them over the head.

*****

Stringer: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Bulk: Why?

Stringer: Cuz she gets a frog in the throat at 69!

Bulk took a second to realize and started wheezing.

*****

Stormer: *walks in holding a white pigeon who had a light pink hue and a fanned out tail, similar to a peacock* I found this in the garage. It was barely alive so I brought it in, so that it can warm up and regain some of it's strength.

Later

Stormer: Natalie, where did the pigeon go?

Breez: Uhm, about that... Rose and Snowflake are besties now and practically inseparable.

Stormer: ... You already gave it a name?

Breez: Yes...

*****

Bulk: *runs in holding a snake* Guys, look what I found in the garden!

Breez: Bulk. That's a cobra. A COBRA! Put it back, it's supposed to be hibernate in this season!

*****

Fortiss: Rocka, you going to get sent onto a mission.

Rocka: What sort?

Fortiss: There's this shapeshifter villain and you need to find out as much as possible about them. Also, bring your dragons with you, it's said that they like to fight as a dragon.

Later

Rocka: *stares up at the dragon in front of him, who was almost three times as big as Bolt, while Bolt and Lysander were behind him* Sometimes I hate being a Recon Team Member.

*****

Lynn: The ultimate shield.

Lynn: *holds up a shield made of a bunch of Nokia phones* The Nokia shield!

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rebec8Bi3EE

Highschool AU
They got a love hate relationship

Surge: *hugs Grant from behind* Hello, you little piece of sh-t.

The other students around held their breaths, expecting Grant to hit Surge.

Grant: *puts a hand on Surge's head and ruffles his hair* Good morning four-eyed loser.

Furno: ... What the f-ck?

*****

Child AU

Bulk: Dad, it happened again. I got in trouble at school.

Thresher: What did you do?

Bulk: Well today at school, we were taking about animals. So the teacher asked Ray and asked "Ray, what's animal has four legs and says moo" and Ray answered "that would be a cow". And then the teacher picked me and asked "Duncan, what sort of bird has feathers but can't fly" and I said "well teach', that would be a dead bird".

Thresher: *starts wheezing* You ain't wrong tho!

*****

And as a last thing

Zib: *wakes up with a groan, before he sits up* Where am I?...

Mr. Makuro: *sitting next to his cot* You're in one of the Medical Wing's rooms.

Zib: Mr. Makuro?

Stormer: We found you passed out in the training room, what the hell did you do?

Zib: I...

Mr. Makuro: I was told that you were skipping meals, is that true?

Zib: *mutters another "I", before he fell silent*

Mr. Makuro: Zib...