I turned my face away from her as I couldn't see her like that any longer, took a deep breath, and again went to her, opened the door, and pulled her out by wrist.

The moment I held her I felt her pain more deeply but I pulled her out, She almost fell but somehow I caught her and before she could hold me and cry I made her to stand on her own, after all after me She had to do it, how long I can be there to give her my shoulder to shed tears.

I was lost in her tears when a young boy's voice broke my reverie. He was asking for a penny, when I saw him I feel as if my own child was begging for his or her life, I think she felt the same because She started to cry bitterly, how can I blame her to be emotional when I felt the same. My eyes too got filled with salty water, if I had stood there for any more I couldn't hold my self.

And Arpita... her condition was getting worse every second, I just pull out whatever came in my hand from the pocket and throw it on the ground away from us so He could leave us alone, he ran to collect those pennies and She looked at me surprisingly then at him. May be out of shock at my behavior. I found a chance to wipe my tears which was coming out from the shades' corner and dragged her to the clinic before She could understand anything.

When we met the Doc, She looked at me surprisingly as last eve when She gave me the news I hugged her with happiness and now I was there to kill our baby, Arpita's condition was visible too, to avoid her questions I started to end-

"Doctor, we are getting separated, so we don't want any link between us and if this child came, it will suffer whole life. We don't want it."

Doc was looking at me surprisingly, all I could call it my luck that even Arpita was gazing at me all the while instead of looking at Doc, if she had looked at the doctor, She must have got that something is wrong with her(Doc).

Doc was about to say something but before she could; I left the cabin, but Doc came to me outside too.

She said-" Mr. Thakur, are you sure that you don't want this child, I mean last eve you were quite happy!"

"It doesn't matter what we want Doc. It's not in my destiny, to be a father, to live a normal happy life, Please take care of her, She is very delicate." And I felt as my throat was choked so I left it in mid and came out in the garden. Near my car, that child was there but this time not begging even he was playing with other children, I called him-

"Hey Kid, come here"

He came to me. I was looking at him as he was the embodiment of my unborn baby, my eyes again turned wet.

"Yes Sir" his voice was so sweet, I sat on my knees to come to his level and looked straight in his eyes,

"Why were you begging like that?" I asked him without any intention all I needed was to hear his sweet voice.

"I was hungry naa, I ate bread from  money you gave and see I store this for my younger sister too." He showed me a slice of bread.

"why? Where is your father? He doesn't give you food? Does he ask you to beg like that?"

"No no Saab Ji, he has gone for labor work in a big city, we didn't receive his money yet naa, that's why I was begging, if he came to know I was doing that he will be angry at me, Baba loves me so much and I love him too."

'Baba loves me'

Those words of that child felt to me as if someone is abusing me, and I cried at my condition, even after all this money and property I can't do anything for my child, except killing him. And here was the son of a labor who claims proudly that his father loves him, tear rolled down my eye and the next thing that touched my soul deeply was that child. He wiped my tear with his petit palm and said-

"Saab Ji why are you crying? Do you have a headache? Can I help you? Whenever Baba has a headache  I help him. Can I do it for you too?"

"yes you can help me beta"

and I hugged him tightly and cried to my heart, that innocent child unknowingly nursed my wound by his innocent love.

"what happened Saab Ji? Is it panning very much?" He asked with care.

"It was panning dear but now It's not any more ', after hugging you it's gone, thank you for your sweet words, take this money and bring some food for your sister and mother too, till your father comes back ok. "

I kissed him and hand over him some money so he can give it to his mother.

"Tell your mother that Avdhesh Thakur gave it to you for helping him in need OK".

I kissed him again on the forehead before he could leave.

I felt as I saw my baby going away from me, Oohh it's so hard to get away from an unknown child whom I think of as mine then how hard it would be for Arpita especially when she can feel it in her every second. I was sure She will hate me for this whole life.

But at the same time, there was a selfish side of me who wants to see Arpita back with me, with my baby.

I want to see her and hear that everything is fine, our baby is still alive, it will come in this world, in our life, in my arms, but know it's the desire I can't wish for.

I was lost in all these thoughts sitting on garden bench when I again saw her in the car as if She never left from there, for a sec I looked straight in her eyes, I was happy to see her, as my love and my baby is fine and its all was a bad dream only but next second I realized, it was not my imagination She was there. The reality struck me hard. She was there in the car not in the clinic, but why? She should not be there, she suppose to be with doc, in the clinic.

My heart sank a bit with worry for her. I put on my shades and reached her while she was sitting in the car with a blank look.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in amazement.

"why? You don't know what am I doing here? You brought me here and n.." she replied back in anger, that's what I was looking for anger and hatred for me.

I interrupt her in mid-

"Cut it Arpita you are getting very well what I meant, you suppose to be in right now..." suddenly a thought struck me, ' what if there's any complication?' I can't control my self this time and I asked it

"Is there any complication?" I inquired with concern.

But the next second I realized my mistake when She looked at me with a soft look and there was a ray of hope which I can't let alive. I controlled myself and covered it.

I asked her again this time with a bit rude manner and getting closer to her, leaning at her window-"Arpita, I am asking something, why are you not in?"

The reply was desirable but unexpected,

"Because I don't want to kill my baby."

I was speechless for a second as she taunts at me that I want to kill my baby, yes she was right, because it's for her welfare, do I need to explain it to her-

"Stop it Arpita, why are you behaving like this, be reasonable, after our separation I don't want any link between us, Its good for you too, You can start a new life after me, but with a child you can't expect any angle for you to come and accept you with someone else's child."

I tried to be as rude as I can, and at the same time to convince her to move ahead after me. But instead of getting angrier or accept my words her reply was

"What!" she was looking at me in amazement.

Then I got that she was amazed by the idea of getting married after me. She must be thinking why I was concerned for her I had to cover it somehow that I am concerned for her due to my love for her.

"Come on don't be a child Arpita, don't tell me you will not marry after this relation, I will start a new life with my love and so will you, someday...

(the thought of her with someone else felt like hell to me, and I stopped for a second)

Get out of the car and go to the doctor. I don't want anyone to blame me to spoil your life by making you pregnant and leave you good for nothing."

Finally, I found a good reason for all rubbish, and to some extent it was true I want her to get away from me so when I die everyone will think I met my end to do wrong with her, not to blame her for my death.

She looked at me with surprise I had to be ruder, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her out, but her words shocked me this time, there was real anger for me.

"You should think about it before you..."

And she stopped in mid, but I got what she was about to say, this time I was hurt.

All those moments between us was my love for her which I couldn't voice ever, but today I was happy to some extent for it, because she was taking my love as lust and for it she will hate me for sure, but it hurts me too she continued after a pause,

"I said No, mean NO, I will not kill my baby, and you don't need to bother about us. Just do me one favor, drop me to your home, because I will live there until you don't throw me out forcefully, it, you who want to end this marriage, not me."

She said it all while tears were flowing from her eyes but her voice was firm. I could feel that pain, that anger in her voice. And I didn't have any word further to say except what she said.

Great, now She was taking my love as lust and more than that She thinks that I hate her but still She wants to be with me, until I throw her out of house how could I do it, no not in this life, why She loves me so much, She has to hate me instead of loving me. What else I can do now; She is going to carry our baby.

I am happy as my baby will come into this world but at the same time, my responsibilities also doubled, earlier I need to find a guy for her to be a good husband but now I have to find someone who can be a good father too, father of someone else child, is it possible?

I don't know when I left her home and get back to the office as my mind already started to search for someone for her, her last sight was appearing in front of me again and again, when she looked at me and I saw her in the mirror, those eyes, I will never forget them, and I will not return to her now as I don't think I would be able to hide my love and pain of losing her. With every name a pain is raising, No I can't think of her with anyone else. What should I do now?"

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁
"Love is the state in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁💏🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Thanks for reading.
Jo...