Dedicated to my friend, readwitheyes

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Bruce and Alfred were setting up a family dinner....and their deaths.

  It's not that Bruce doesn't love family dinners it's just well....family dinner ends up with Damian strangling Tim, Jason yelling at Bruce or fighting Damian, Dick reigning them in, and Alfred..he just stands back waiting to clean the mess.

  "Master Bruce it's going to be fine." Alfred said as he watched Bruce pace back and forth. "Tim just had to invite Connor, Clark, Oliver, and Barry! Clark can't look at Connor, and Oliver and Barry will run and hide or fight each other." Bruce pouted..I mean, argued. Bruce Wayne did not pout....

  Bruce loved his kids-even though Damian's a handful enough-he just didn't want his teammates and Connor seeing a Wayne dinner.

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  "Welcome Master Clark, Connor, Oliver, and Barry." Alfred greeted the Leaguers.

  "Hey Alfie! H-" Barry was interrupted as everyone heard-

"I'm going to rip your heart out Todd!"

  "Try it Monster Mayhem!"

  Alfred mentally face palmed. "I'm sorry, the boys are having an argument." He said and Connor chuckled. He remembered coming over to the Manor and seeing Dick and the others fight.

  "Come in." Alfred said and Dick saw them. He swung off the chandelier and jumped down. "Hey everyone! Sorry about my brothers!" Dick said as Oliver, Clark and Barry had a heart attack.

  "Ever since you were little you scared us. I think it's not gonna stop." Oliver said and Dick hugged his uncles and brother. "It's great to see you." Dick said as-
 
  "I'm gonna strangle you Monster!" Jason said as he ran into the living room chasing Damian who held a gun.

  "Father said no guns at the table!" Damian shouted.

  Guns?! What family has guns at their house?! What family tells their children no guns at the table?! Wait....these are Bruce's kids...that explains everything. Barry thought as he saw Dick back flip over to his brothers.

  "Jay and Dami! Stop or else I'll make you!" Dick yelled and they didn't listen. Dick bristled and said in a calm steel tone, "Jason Todd and Damian Grayson-Wayne."

  The whole room stopped as Jason and Damian paled. "Hey Dickie, just uh..oh screw it. We're already dead." Jason said as Damian hid behind Jason.

  "No! I'm too young! You can not do this Dick! I have my rights!" Damian shouted as Dick threw him over his shoulder and dragged Jason by the ankle.

  "No buts or anything. Our uncles and brother are here and we are gonna be a family." Dick said as Jason clawed at the floor.

  "Barry! Connor! Help meeee!" Jason yelled as they disappeared down the hall.

  Barry and Oliver stared at each other scared as Connor was frowning and Clark was fidgeting. Bruce walked in and saw the claw marks on the ground.

  "Not again...." Bruce muttered as Barry paled.

  Again?! Freaking again?! Barry thought as Oliver went to ask but shook his head. Better not to ask, this is the Wayne Manor.

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  They were all sitting at the table. Like so:

  Bruce and Alfred were sitting at the ends, Dick was in between Damian who sat on his right next to Bruce and Jason who sat on his left and they sat there for two reasons A.) They wanted Dick and B.) Dick was there to reign them in.

  Connor sat next to Jason as Clark sat across from Connor, Barry sat across from Jason, Oliver sat across from Dick, and Tim sat across from Damian.

  They were eating, well Barry was wolfing down his food as Oliver elbowed him in the side getting a pout from the younger man.

  "How's Bludhaven?" Oliver asked Dick trying to make conversation. "Great how's your family?" Dick asked and they made conversation as Damian growled.

  "You shall not speak of West! He has betrayed my brother's friendship! I shall take his heart-" Dick interrupted saying, "Me and Wally made up, he was sorry and I may or may not have punched him but we made up." Barry sputtered but smiled. His nephew had issues....so did he but eh.

  "Like you can do anything." Tim said as he ate his food. "More than whine and act like a child like you!" Damian said as he slammed his fork down. Bruce face palmed as Alfred got up knowing all bats were gonna break loose.

  "You are a child!" Tim yelled and Damian let a warrior cry out and lunged at Tim.

  Clark was flying and had his laser eyes at the children as Connor smacked him. "You can't hit them!" Connor yelled and they fought as Jason and Oliver argued about who's more of a sissy and Dick was yelling at Jason and Damian, Bruce was sobbing into his hands thinking, Why?! Why me?!. Barry was eating still.

  "Told you the Monster would ruin it." Jason said and Damian stopped halfway of strangling Tim.

  "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Damian let a warrior cry out like usual and lunged at Todd like a rabid animal.

  "Baby Dracula! I want to eat not get my blood sucked out!" Jason yelled and Dick just grabbed them and kneed Jason in the stomach hard. As where Jason was trying not to cry.

  Dick grabbed a syringe under the table-with Damian you had to be prepared or when you have a sugar induced Dick-and drugged him.

  Oliver saw Barry eating and Connor and Clark fighting. "Hey Bruce shouldn't you stop them?" Oliver asked and Bruce just looked at them and said, "Never come back."

  "Don't worry, we weren't." Barry said as Oliver smacked him. "Hey! I thought we were besties!" Barry said and attacked Oliver.

  "Why?!" Bruce shouted to no one and Dick carried Damian over his shoulder and dragged Jason by the ankle who was holding his stomach.

  "Bruce...where's the Monster?" Tim rasped out and held his throat and Oliver throws Barry into Tim and Tim makes a 'HIGH-AH!' sound.

  Clark held Connor and threw him on the table and Connor elbowed him in the mouth and all of a sudden a door bell rang. Alfred heard and went to go open it.

  It was Commissioner Gordon.

 
   Oh bats.

    "Commissioner Gordon, how can I help you?" Alfred asked and Gordon stepped in. "I was given a call about seeing lasers shooting into the sky around here and-"

  Whatever Gordon saw, Alfred would blame it was the weather making him hallucinate cause what he saw was weird.

  Dick was carrying a drugged Damian over his shoulder who was saying things like, 'Your heart will be ripped.' and other things kids don't say and dragging Jason by the ankle who was trying not to puke.

  Then he saw Oliver Queen get thrown into the living with a pan and Barry Allen with a spoon yelling at Oliver about 'I'll time travel to where you'll never be seen again!' or whatever.

  Then seeing Clark Kent get punched in the face flying into the living room wall whom by Connor who was shaking his fist and saying something about not killing the Wayne's.

  Oliver hit Barry on the chest with the pan and Barry shoved the spoon into Oliver's stomach knowing it wouldn't kill him just make him fall and hold his stomach as the dull spoon hit a rib really hard.

  Tim was crawling into the living room holding his neck trying to make it to the couch as Bruce came in yelling why or whatever.

  "What is going on?!" Gordon yelled and everyone stopped. Dick looked like he was caught carrying a dead body and dropped Damian on his face and said, "They're not dead!"

  "Youu druuugged me!" Damian yelled in a slur. Gordon widened his eyes at Dick and placed his hands on his hips. "He kneed me." Jason groaned and Dick gave a sheepish smile as he helped Damian.

  "Leave the bodies there! I mean boys! What are you doing Mr. Queen and Allen?" Gordon asked and Barry gave a sheepish smile as he helped Oliver sit down. "I wanted the tv remote?" Barry said as a lying question and Gordon faced Oliver, "Dying." Oliver groaned.

   "What are you doing Mr. Kent?" Gordon asked he saw the two men that looked alike stop in a halfway punch to each other.

  "Father and son bonding time?" Clark said as Connor seethed at him. "Tim what are you doing?" Gordon asked and Tim clutched his throat and reached a hand towards Gordon who was in the doorway.

  "The light.." Tim rasped and Gordon just looked at Alfred.

  "What was originally going on?" Gordon asked and Alfred gave a 'are you sure you want to know?' smile.

  "What?" Gordon asked and Alfred brought him to the kitchen.

  The table was broken-again-with food everywhere, scorch marks on the ceiling with holes. Also an empty syringe.

  "Family dinner." Alfred said and Gordon just threw his hands in the air. "Batman makes more sense and he's confusing!" Gordon said and he walked out the door.

  Alfred stood in front of everyone and said, "You get to leave. I would ask for help but I'm afraid you'll do more damage than help." Barry helped Oliver up and went to Alfred.

  "Thanks for dinner, it was good while it lasted." Barry said as he winced as Oliver groaned. "I'll see you sometime never maybe." Barry said and zipped off with Oliver.

Clark was standing awkward and said, "Uh, sorry about the scorch marks and the wall, and the table, and everything else. See you later." Clark took off as Connor walked off and said, "Sorry and the dinner was good."

  Connor left and Alfred faced Dick who was getting his brothers to their rooms up the stairs. Bruce was getting Tim and grunting.

  "Quiet old man. I'm carrying Dami and Jay." Dick said and Alfred started cleaning. They survived this family dinner, and there won't be more.

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   Dick was sleeping until he heard knocks on his door. "Come in." He said and Damian walked in and Jason did also. "Nightmare?" Dick asked and patted his bed.

  Damian slept against his right and Jason tucked into his left. "Sorry for kneeing and drugging you guys.", Dick said and heard laughter.

  "It was a good family dinner and it's alright." Damian said and Jason agreed.

  "Love you Dami and Jay."

  "Love you Dick."

  "Love you Dickie Bird."

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  Sorry of it sucked but I wanted to do this! Star Wars will be updated Saturday!

  Lava you!