Fili left me and they began their trek back to Erebor, a few hours later and I began the painful trek back to, every step I took I knew it was taking me back to a place where no smiling husband of mine would welcome mr back with a tight embrace of a hug, or tell me how he missed me or glad to see I was alive.

My tears never ceased to rain down on the earth, my stomach rumbled telling me I needed to hunt, but I ignored it and kept walking any how, I was always looking down, my eyes had seen nothing but grass for miles, my paws complained how tired they were, but I knew if I stopped then I wouldn't be getting back up again, I barely had any energy left to keep going, as there was nothing for me at Erebor now, just as I passed through the gates I heard the words I ha been trying to avoid "my youngest nephew and prince, Kili is dead" Thorin announced.

I just padded through the crowd with my head hung solemnly as those words were said, the crowd began to weep and mourn. "I feel sorry for his wife, knowing that she has to take care of that baby all by herself" One woman said.

"She will probably abandon it, like she did her family to become that beast!" A man exclaimed, a low growl escaped me catching everyone's attention, the two people who said things only blushed from embarrassment but I just kept walking I had no energy to kill anyone, no matter how tempting it was, I made my way to the mountain with people sending their condolences to me, I walked past the dwarves and made my way to where Kilis final resting place was, I tried biting back my pines but I couldn't cage them, they just escaped my lips as I walked, I saw his body resting on his tomb, my legs began to buckle, as I made my way over and as I reared up onto my hind legs looking at my now peaceful husband, this is probably the first time I have seen him resting so peacefully.

I turned into human, I leant over and kissed his cold lips before recoiling back, I broke down at his side and changed into my wolf form mid cry, i let out a loud painful howl once again to echo around the halls of Durin, I felt my heart thudding slowly in harmony with the tears which cascaded down my cheeks, I climbed up onto the tomb with him and positioned my back under his head gently, ignoring the coldness of his chilled flesh, my Kili was young, too young to die.

I was now following the rules of the wolf, we lay with our dead and we don't move unless with force, I let out a loud and huge sigh as new, fresh tears presented themselves to me. I did all I could to save him but I still failed.

"I am so sorry my darling I failed you" I whined resting my back foot on his shoulder gently and then resting my head over my paws, I saw Fili and Thorin came running in and gave me a pitiful look, their eyes glittered with the tears as they entered the scene, I just let out an unexpected whine to escape me.

"Ohl Abrax, I am so sorry I doubted you" Fili told me rubbing my head softly.

"Get down from there!" Thorin ordered.

My ears lay against my neck, my eyes transition from a dim yellow to bright, my lips begin to lift over my teeth, my nose creases into a snarl and a very deep, crackly growl escapes my throat and chest, as I lifted my head from its resting place. "Never tell a grieving wolf what to do!" I barked. Thorin received the message and backed off.

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