What a night. For the first time since she became an adult, Donnella had never felt so disrespected. When she got home, she threw her bag on the bed and angrily undressed. The smell of expensive cigars, sweat, alcohol, and filthy creeps seemed to seep out of her pores. Trying not to wake her brothers, she took her nightclothes into the bathroom to shower and change.

The water was turned on to the hottest setting. The bathroom was instantly shrouded in steam. Standing under the spray, Donnella grabbed the loofah and lathered it up with Dayquan's body wash instead of the honey-mango scented one she normally used. She scrubbed her skin raw as if trying to scrub the events of the night from her body.

After explaining the situation to Nidita, she was handed pepper spray and escorted to the parking lot by one of the security guards. She understood Nidita's worries but they were unnecessary. Even though Donnella dressed femme, people often forgot she still had male parts and was raised male most of her life. She knew how to fight and fighting skills were genderless.

For the first time in his life he felt helpless. The clammy feel of the man's touch was still on his skin. Feeling as if there were spiders crawling on his skin, the loofah was rinsed and put away as the water began to cool. Shoving his head under the water spray, Donnell picked up the shampoo and viciously washed his hair and face. He wanted to erase all traces of Donella from his body.

The water turned ice cold. Donnell stood under the spray with his eyes closed and his forehead pressed against the tile. Why was living the way he wanted so hard?

Exhaustion made him shut off the shower and get out. As he toweled off he caught his reflection in the mirror. Although still male, Donnell didn't look as masculine as his older brother Dayquan. He had a softer face and almond-shaped eyes like their mother, something they got from their Native-American ancestors. His shoulder-length thick, coily hair was twisted and the sides and back were faded. He and Duka were the darketst of Aniya's kids. Where Duka got his coloring from his father, Donnell's coloring came from Aniya's father. A dark, exotic beauty with flawless skin and light brown eyes, men and women had been attracted to him since his teen years. For years, he thought he was asexual. Tonight was the first time he'd been attracted to anyone.

Gio had made his heart sing like no other.

This made him feel totally conflicted. How would Gio react to knowing that his precious Donnella was actually Donnell - a man? Would Gio be able to accept someone like him/her? Would he be embarrassed to be seen with someone like him/her?

There was a soft knock on the door followed by Duka's whisper.

"Donny, are you okay?"

Duka was often confused on whether he should call Donnell or Donnella so he just called Donny to be safe. Donnell found his brother too cute. He opened the door with a smile.

"What's wrong, squirt?"

Duka rubbed his eyes. "Are you okay? You've been in here a long time."

Not wanting to worry his little brother, Donnell tossed his dirty clothes in the bin and hung up his towel. "Did I wake you up?"

"Not really."

Donnell rubbed his head. "Let's go back to bed." He put an arm around Duka's shoulders and lead him back to their shared bedroom. Although he was a working adult, Donnell hadn't moved out because he wanted to save up and buy a house somewhere out of the city where his family could live in relative peace and comfort. Jace worked a lot and his money went on their basic living needs and college tuition. Every month he put money aside for each of the kids if they wanted to go to college or trade school. Donnell took the money set aside for him and got a car for the family to go to and fro instead of using the city bus. He always put his family first.

Jace didn't have to but, he took them all in after the state took them from Aniya after Duka's birth. For ten years he sacrificed everything to raise them alongside his own son. He treated them fairly and did his best to be a good father to them. He didn't mistreat Donnell when he was going through his gender/sexual identity discovery phase. Instead, he spent hours doing research to learn more about what Donnell was going through and supported him along the way. Donnell was grateful for everything Jace had done for them.

"Donny," Duka crawled into his bed and turned on his side facing his older sibling.

Covering him with the blanket, Donnell hummed.

"You didn't say if you were okay."

He smiled. Duka was a worrier. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just have that look."

Donnell frowned. "What look?"

"Like you're thinking a lot about things."

He gave a small smile and smoothed down Duka's eyebrows. "I am but you don't need to worry about it."

"Why not?"

"It's big people stuff."

"Oh man."

Donnell chuckled and kissed his forehead. "Go to sleep, squirt."

Duka stuck his tongue out then turned facing the wall and closed his eyes. Donnell stood and looked at his little brother for a few minutes. Duka wasn't the typical annoying little brother. He was sweet and tried to help his siblings or around the house. After a two month stay in the nicu, Duka came home still suffering some of the after-effects of withdrawal. They took turns taking care of him while Jace worked. He was spoiled but not a brat. Everyone was protective of him.

"What happened?"

Donnell turned and saw Dayquan sitting up on his bed. He sighed and sat next to his older brother. Dayquan wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

"A guy kept trying to hit on me at work."

Dayquan snorted. "That's nothing new."

"No. That's true. But he had a gun."

Dayquan's eyes widened? "He threatened you?"

"No. More like he threatened one of the regulars who came to protect me." Donnell told Dayquan the story step by step and what happened at the end. Then he explained how he thought he had feelings for Gio and he was worried about telling Gio that he was still physically a man.

"Well, if Gio is really into you, nothing should put him off."

Donnell tugged on a loose thread on the comforter. "Maybe."

"You won't know if you don't try."

"True."

"What about homeboy that was harrassin' you?"

Donnell sighed. "I'm not sure. All I can do is pray he doesn't act a fool if he comes again."

"I'll handle it."

"You don't have to."

Dayquan smiled and pulled on Donnell's cheek. "I know, but, you're my family. I'm not gonna let anyone mess with my peeps."

Donnell slapped his hand away and laughed. "Yeah yeah." He hugged his brother tight. "Thanks, Day."

Flashing a bright smile, Dayquan hugged back. "Fo' sho."