(edited, chapter has doubled in size lmao - 8k)

Once back home after a walk that honestly wasn't so bad, although walking through the construction site was kind of complicated, I drag my body to the living room and drop down on the couch with an exhausted sigh, my weary body out of energy after this long day.

Now that I'm here, it's like the day just comes crashing down on me with all of its weight and I don't feel like moving anymore, I feel like I'm going to be sore for a little while, carrying boxes with Seokjin at some point worked some muscles that I don't use often.

Hopefully I get used to it quickly, this is all very new for me and I would hate for my body to get in the way, I've really enjoyed myself a lot despite my nerves being all over the place.

After getting kicked out of the house by my own mother very recently, I was lost and confused as to what I should do, where I should go from then on but I was lucky enough to find this apartment which is just perfect for me.

It's furnished with the basic necessities and the landlord offers the first rent for free so it was honestly a gift fallen from the sky considering my situation.

I guess mom deciding that keeping me at home was now deemed useless for her was just the push that I needed to get a move on with my life, it's probably the best thing she's ever done for me, the only one that will ever happen.

After all, it's not like I ever was a part of her heart, she simply made use of me as much as she could, a tool that could serve her before being thrown in the trash when it would get too old and rusty.

She prefers my siblings a lot more since they were the result of a loving marriage, for a while it was anyway, and I understand why because they are truly the best, I adore my brothers and sisters very much.

So in a way, who can blame her? My existence only reminds her of a mistake she did with a stranger when she was young and careless, of course she would prefer the children she decided to have willingly over me.

I can't say I've never thought about what would've happened if she had refused to give birth to me, or if she had simply given me away to another family that would've been able to love me the way she couldn't, how much different would my life be then?

That's one thing I will never find out, my life has already been lived for twenty-five years, there's no going back even if I wanted to, those decisions are on my mother and her alone.

My stomach grumbles in a plea for food and I sigh before forcing my body off the couch to head to the kitchen at the other side of the wall separating the two rooms, the dining room connecting the two together in a half closed space.

I open the fridge and look into it with a frown, not much to eat but just enough to hold on with the bare minimum, I can't afford wasting what money I have left so I have to be careful as much as possible until I get paid.

I take out enough to make myself a simple sandwich as I think about my current situation.

I live in a small yet good quality apartment, the landlord a man who wishes to offer to people who are struggling a chance to get a new start in life, he knows that sometimes, all that is needed is a place to call home and a roof over our head and he was apparently only too eager to offer that help.

When I saw the ad in the newspaper as I was searching for a rent that I could afford, I simply couldn't believe my eyes at what I was seeing, I just knew I had to call the number provided and give it a try, even if there was a chance that it was a scam.

The man who answered the call was very nice, he asked me some questions at first and we ended up talking for quite a while, I told him all about my life and what it was like living with my mother, what had just happened to me and he was so kind about it, he even went as far as to share a little about himself when I was done, it appeared that we had a similar upbringing and my story had touched him greatly.

He was the only person who had ever shown an interest to listen to me outside of my four loving little monsters and it felt great, he made me feel comfortable enough to share something that painful with a light heart and to hear that I was not alone, needless to say I cried, how could I not?

After that, he offered me to stay at the available apartment he had left without an ounce of hesitation and made it a point to make me promise to never give up, that things could only get better from now on, he knew that from experience after all and that was honestly the nicest thing to happen to me in years.

Then, by the end of last week, I entered Seokjin's coffee shop, in need of a break after going through many refusals of being hired as I had not a single work experience yet even at my age, which they somehow saw as a red flag, for whatever reason that I ignore.

I was really disappointed and anxious, I couldn't not make money and survive at the same time, I had to find a way to see my siblings again and that could not happen with me looking sick and homeless, I couldn't let them see me that way, but then one thing led to another and I was suddenly given an impromptu interview by the man who had served me a delicious hot chocolate with a warm smile.

It had barely taken any questions before he suddenly claimed that I would be perfect for the job and then he sent me back home after promising that he would call me and let me know when I could come to work.

I thought maybe this was all a joke, I could barely understand what had just happened but when he actually called back to say that I could come in on Monday in the morning, that he would train me himself, I felt like life was finally giving me a chance.

And now you have this morning with my meeting Namjoon, the gentleman who brought me to work on the back of his bicycle even though he was already busy with his own work. He made it his mission to make sure I would be on time and it still feels weird to think that a complete stranger would do that for me.

He said he would come by eventually, right? Maybe I could finally have a friend if things go well? I would love to have one of my own, I've never had a friend in all of my life but I probably shouldn't expect too much, it's possible that he never comes over while I work, maybe he only said that to be polite?

I have to say, it's a little scary when I look behind me on the previous events, the way I've been blessed with kindness at every turns I've made, it makes me feel like there's a wall of doom just waiting for me on the other side of the street and there's no way for me to see it, no way to know how to avoid it.

If I enjoy myself too much, I fear that falling will hurt much more than before, but I don't want to avoid happiness because of something out of my control. If I fall, so be it, I will at least have a smile on my face when it happens.

Once my sandwich done, I put the condiments I used in the fridge before taking a seat at the dining table, my gaze on the window that shows a pretty view of the buildings surrounding me, the food a delight after such a hard day at work.

The rest of the night goes by quickly with me going to bed early, mind unable to function after the clock ticks 21:00.

---

"Good morning, Seokjin" I chirp as soon as I enter the building to find him yet again cleaning the tables, how they could get dirty throughout the night above me, but I don't dare say anything as I head to the break room to put away my belongings and get my apron on.

"Good morning, dear" I hear him say as he too enters the room, back leaning against the wall by the door as he smiles at me, his own apron already covering his front, although he doesn't have a little drawing like mine does.

He observes as I step in front of the mirror to make sure I look acceptable, hair readjusted into a neat ponytail before I straighten my apron with a satisfied smile, he enjoys the sight as it makes him feel warm, him who thought he wouldn't ever need someone by his side at work, he realizes that he was wrong to think that way.

"Did you sleep well last night? I bet you fell like a brick as soon as your head touched your pillow" he muses, a light chuckle leaving him when I quickly nod my head at his words, mirror forgotten as I turn my gaze to him with blushing cheeks.

"I did, actually. I don't remember the last time I fell asleep so fast, I was exhausted" I tell him with a shy smile and a scratch to the back of my neck, he laughs loudly, he can imagine, working in such a busy shop as his own with just the two of us, it's not a small feat to accomplish.

"Did you eat breakfast or did you oversleep to get in as much sleep as you could?" he asks next and I freeze for a brief second before getting my mask back on my face with a bright smile that I want as relaxed as possible, I'm experienced with that one so it comes to me quite easily.

I can't possibly let him know that I can only afford simple dinners for now, I have no money to spare on breakfast and lunch, I never really did eat much anyway, mom wouldn't let me eat that often.

"Of course I ate breakfast, it's the most important meal of a day, did you eat something, Seokjin?" I ask back, watch as he nods with his smile not going anywhere, he looks like he's in a good mood this morning too.

"Don't worry about me, I never skip breakfast, I like making food so I always have something in the morning before leaving for work. With that said, I always bring extra food in the fridge right here so if you're hungry, don't hesitate to serve yourself, okay? I thought it would be good that you know, just in case" he states with a wink before leaving me alone to head back to the front of the shop.

I stare at his back as he gets out of sight with a gulp, he can't possibly have seen through me, right? I'm used to putting on a smile for my siblings, I hate to say it but I'm good at lying when it comes to my own self.

I shake my head, I'm sure it's fine, he just said that to be nice, that's all. He barely knows me so how could he see through me that easily? Seokjin would've offered food either way, I'm sure.

Still, mind overcome with curiosity as I wonder what kind of food he makes in his free time, I walk to the fridge and open it as quietly as I can to have a look inside and what greets my eyes has me gaping in shock, why is there so much?

I can see snacks as well as more filling meals, all of them looking homemade, recipes made with the intent of being good and healthy, it has my mouth watering to an extent that scares me so I close the door quickly, as if I was caught doing something bad, fingers clenching around the door's handle before I release it.

I turn my back to it and shake my head to force myself to walk away from the food wonderland. You're better than that, Y/N, you can't eat food that belongs to someone else, he offered to be nice but it doesn't mean he wants you to eat it, or that you should.

With a hand stroking my aching stomach at the knowledge that so much food is nearby yet out of reach, I make my way out of the break room to see if anything needs some cleaning, a dry cloth to get rid of the small particles of dust as I remain unaware of the eyes following me around with a sigh echoing softly into oblivion.

The door's sign turns to open and people slowly start entering for their daily dose of coffee that has Seokjin and I working in tandem, a gentle ease flowing between us as we help each other to satisfy the customers' requests, some heated croissants and the likes tasks I enjoy taking care of while he does the more complicated orders.

Minutes become hours in the blink of an eye and at around ten, I notice Taehyung entering the building when the bell jingles in the musical background. He heads straight to the counter, eyes going over my name on my apron, probably to remind himself and then he looks up at my eyes with a smile.

"I'll get a lemonade please, along with a cookie of your choice, pick whichever one you think would go well with the drink, I'll trust your decision" he demands softly before walking away to the same table as yesterday, his laptop settled in front of him as he gets to work right away.

I stare at him for a good five seconds with a look of panic on my face, he wants me to choose the flavour for him?!

I look down at the wide range of variety in front of me and my eyes fall on the chocolate cookie, chocolate is always good, right? I know I love it, but does it go well with a lemonade?

Probably not... I shake my head before continuing my search, my very important mission needed to be completed to the perfection, I will not have Seokjin's regular customer disappointed by my performance, completely unaware of the eyes observing me with amusement.

I cross my arms, my stress rising because there are too many choices, Seokjin offers too many choices, which is good, it's really good, just not now, not with the liberty I was given, he glances at me curiously as he takes care of an order of espresso just as I take in the berry-flavoured cookie.

That one could work, no? Fruits with lemonade, wouldn't they go well together? It sounds good to me, I think I'll go with that. I grab the bottle of drink along with the chosen one that may or may not make the man disappointed with me and then make my way around Seokjin with a determined frown before reaching Taehyung's table.

His eyes raise slightly to have a look at what I'm setting besides him and he hums with a nod of the head, apparently pleased with what I brought before bringing his gaze back to his laptop, I take that as confirmation enough that I haven't failed and make my way back to the counter happily, Seokjin grins at me before greeting the new customer walking in.

As I work the coffee machine to make a cappuccino, he comes by besides me to make another hot drink with the second machine and glances at me silently for a moment before parting his lips. "You're allowed to take a break, you know? You don't have to work constantly every minutes of the day".

I keep my gaze focused on my task and shrug lightly to let him know that I heard him. "I know but I'm fine, there are a lot of people coming in so I want to help you" I answer as I finish up with some latte art just like he showed me, eyes then turning to stare at the lady who ordered the drink now seated at a table.

Without another word said, I make my way to her and hand her what she requested with a smile before going around the room to clean up a little under his staring eyes, I can feel the burn on the back of my head and it makes me a little uncomfortable, but I assume that he'll eventually stop, I really don't feel like taking a break and I feel just fine, as fine as can be achieved with a hungry stomach.

I hear him sigh as I move to empty the dishwasher and when I look behind me, it's to find him heading to the cash register to make a customer pay with his usual smile and his amusing laughter, not a sigh of his annoyance visible on his face, I can feel it emanate from him though, he really seems bothered by this.

Maybe I should take a moment to rest soon, just to ease his mind? But then that's going to make me focus about my gurgling inner monster and that's only going to make things worse for me... aish, I don't know what's the right thing to do here.

Things remain calm for a little while, he doesn't mention the break again and I believe the issue now over, and when he leaves the counter to go work on some pastries in the kitchen after telling me to fetch him if there's anything, I keep working silently until the sound of jingles notifies me of someone's arrival.

I look up just in time to find the back of a head of pink hair, the man already headed to the table behind Taehyung before he sits down to get his laptop out of his fancy leather bag, I don't have much time to pay attention to him when a group of friends come in with a moderate chatter that takes my whole attention, their orders easy enough for me to take care of alone, I'm getting the hang of this!

As I complete the drinks, the sandwiches either packed to be eaten cold or in the counter oven to be warmed up, I feel eyes burn the side of my face on a regular interval, except that whenever I look up to see who it could possibly be, I find no one staring and eventually shrug it off as light paranoia before continuing on with my tasks.

It's only when the group is gone and when I'm cleaning the coffee machine and surrounding surfaces that a hand loudly hits the front desk with force, the impact having me look up with a startled yelp to find the pink haired man glaring at me.

"You must be new here" he states coldly and when I nod my head quickly, my heart nearly beating out of my chest, my body screaming at me to stay away from him, he looks really angry, he sighs with annoyance before running a hand through his hair with dislike obvious on his face.

"Then surely you must have been told to bring me an espresso americano as soon as I take a seat, your boss would've told you, it's how it always functions with me so how come I still haven't received it yet?".

I start breaking a sweat at his words, oh gosh, it was him? Seokjin should've mentioned his pink hair, that would've been easier to see than his face, all I ever saw of him was his back!

I bow lowly with a quick apology, blood pressure increasing and making me feel my heartbeats in my throat as he leaves the counter with a huff and back to his table like this has just ruined his day, I feel awful but how was I supposed to know when I've never seen him before?

I straighten up only to startle again when I find Taehyung staring at me, his eyebrows furrow at the sight but I don't wait to see more when I turn to the coffee machine to get the man's drink ready.

Jimin, he's very scary and I don't want to make things worse.

With shaky hands, I grab the appropriate sized cup and settle it on the machine but as I face the buttons, my mind blanks of all knowledge for something I know I was able to do earlier and I feel a lump form in my throat, teeth biting on my bottom lip as I try to remember, now's not the time to forget!

I really messed up, didn't I? First, I make Park Jimin mad to the point that he had to let me know personally and that resulted in Taehyung being bothered as his concentration got ruined because of my incompetence, this is truly the worst.

"I'd like it soon, please" I hear his angry voice and I instinctively press on the button which feels like the right one, my hands sweating so much that even wiping them on the edge of my apron isn't enough to dry them, I'm feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

I manage to get something I believe is close to what he had requested but when I grab the cup with the intent of bringing it to him as quickly as possible, a loud sigh coming from Jimin has me dropping the cup on the floor and I stare at it with a muffled dry sob, chin quivering as I crouch down to clean up the mess, I just made things worse, he's going to scream at me again, I know he will.

I make a move to grab the bigger pieces of broken porcelain but the burning hot liquid splattered all over the place bites on the sensitive skin of my fingers and I pull back with a pained hiss, fingers slipping on my tongue to try and soothe the sting but it only makes it worse, the nerves pulsating and raw with the heat that wasn't welcome at all.

I hear feet rush behind me before cold hands grab my own and away from the mess, eyes rising to find Seokjin taking everything in with wide eyes, lips parted as he tries to make sense of the sight greeting him.

"Y/N, what are you doing touching broken glass with your bare hands? The coffees are scalding hot when they're freshly made, you should know better than to touch without any protection on your skin!" he starts with a deserved scolding before sighing deeply. "Go rinse your hands with cold water and take a break, I'll take care of this" he adds before leaving to get the broom while I slowly stand up with a ducked head.

"I'm sorry Seokjin, it slipped out of my hands... I just... Park Jimin is here and I forgot to serve him, I'll take a break once I've given him what he wanted, he's really mad because I didn't recognize him" I utter lightly, make a move to grab another cup only to be stopped by the tall man who guides me towards the sink with tightly pressed lips.

"I'll deal with him myself, for now, you rinse with cold water until I say it's enough, now".

Feeling absolutely terrible about all of this mess I have caused, I follow his order and walk the remaining step to the sink before turning on the cold water that acts as a small relief while Seokjin silently works on the order of coffee after having cleaned the floor properly, and when he's done, he makes his way to Jimin's table with a stance that has me gulping nervously, he looks really angry.

He sets the cup down on the table with slightly more noise than necessary and Jimin looks up from his laptop with a sneer, arms crossing over his chest as his condescending eyes fall on me with a shake of the head.

"Kim Seokjin, are you sure it was smart of you to get a new worker? She doesn't seem to be doing such a good job, she doesn't even know half of the things she's doing, she took so long for something very simple and then proceeded to bring you more trouble, maybe you should reconsider".

I bite on my bottom lip and look away from him, eyes instead focusing on the water that continues to flow onto my red skin, they're still sensitive but the pads of my fingers are getting slightly better.

Will Seokjin get rid of me because of what just happened? I wouldn't be mad at him if he did, I totally deserve this, I messed up greatly even after he took the time to warn me beforehand and I broke a cup of his, maybe I'm not made for this kind of job, will I have to go job hunting again? What if I can't get another one?

"Park Jimin ssi, who do you think you are to decide whether my employee deserves to work here or not? She does a fantastic job, when she's not being intimidated by customers who can't find it in themselves to be patient and I am not okay with you treating her the way you just did".

I look up to stare at the wide shouldered man in shock, he's taking my defense? After all this, he's taking my side in front of a customer?

The pink haired man frowns and stands up from his chair before pointing at me, uncaring that he's currently bothering the other customers sat in the room and minding their own business, they look awkward and it only makes my nerves grow worse.

"Are you telling me that my attitude is wrong? She's the one who made a mistake And broke something!".

Taehyung seems to have enough as his eyes twitch at those words and I almost forget to breathe when he turns around on his seat to stare at the loud man.

"You act like it's the end of the world when it's just a stupid coffee. It's her first time seeing you, give her a break, you could've just introduced yourself instead of getting mad at her, you're a customer, not a king, stop being so self-centered, it's annoying. Now, could you please shut up? I'm trying to work here and your constant sighs are bothering me".

Jimin scoffs and sits down on his chair. "If you don't want to be bothered, maybe you should go somewhere else then, it's not my fault if you chose a public environment to work" he counters and Taehyung huffs.

"Well in that case, maybe you should stay home and make your own goddamn coffee if you're going to complain anyway".

Seokjin sighs and runs a hand through his hair in annoyance, he's clearly had enough of their behavior, I think to myself as I turn off the water, that should be enough, my fingers are starting to go a little numb now.

"If you two keep bothering everyone like that, I'm going to ask the both of you to leave. Y/N is new, today's her second day so Park Jimin ssi, I'm going to ask you to be tolerant for once. If you can't do that, you know where the door is".

With that said, the two men shut their mouths and Seokjin leaves their side before coming back behind the counter to have a look at my hands again, his frown at seeing the water shut off easing when he finds that the skin isn't as red as earlier.

"Good, that looks much better but you should avoid touching anything hot for a while. Now, dear, you go to the break room, you get something to eat from the fridge and you sit down there for..." he stares at the clock before humming, "thirty minutes, minimum. I don't want to see you doing anything else except eating and resting, am I clear?".

Feeling that there's no going against his will at the moment, I nod my head and walk to the back under his watchful gaze, the weight of his stare lasting until I close the door behind me, the tension that was in the seating area finally releasing me to be replaced by the quiet of the empty room.

I reach the fridge and take in once more all that is available, it's truly overwhelming, especially since I don't feel like it's right of me to take anything but since he insisted, I know not eating anything would only make things worse and I am starting to feel a little sick with hunger, there's only so much I can ignore.

I let my eyes fall on something that I've always wanted to try before but never could and take the container out, the kimbap a meal that screams love to me. Watching my siblings eat it always filled me with longing, there's so much care that goes into making them after all.

Mom never wanted to make me one, I wasn't allowed to use the ingredients to make myself one either. This was reserved for the children she loved and I wasn't part of that category.

The only reason why she kept me around for so long without kicking me out was because I would take care of the household in her absence, I'd take care of raising my siblings while she'd work, I helped them with everything when she couldn't, I was convenient to have around when she was too busy to be a mother.

I take a seat at the table and carefully unwrap one of the two kimbap, a part of my soul afraid that it might just take off and flee from my hold now that it's between my fingers, what would mom say if she saw me holding what she always denied me?

When I see that it's already been cut into bite size pieces, I feel a small smile stretch the corners of my lips up and I take one to my mouth with nervous anticipation.

And as soon as the food touches my tongue, the weight of it sending flavours all throughout my mouth, it's like I melt on the spot, a taste filled with warmth and care that brings tears to my eyes, is this what I've been missing out on for so long? Is this what food was always supposed to taste like?

I try to swallow through the lump forming in my throat while I get another piece, my stomach screaming in relief now that I'm finally ingesting food, something better than the simple sandwich from yesterday night.

I really didn't know food could be so good, I mean I knew, but I never thought I would be granted the opportunity to enjoy it quite the way I am right now and it makes me feel all sorts of way as I wipe the tears that dare flee my eyes without permission.

In the silence of the room, the previous events get out of mind as I start relaxing, body and mind finding peace in the comfort of Seokjin's food, it makes me understand why everyone comes back here when they get a taste of his talent, there's something about the man that feels warm like a gentle sun.

It takes maybe ten or fifteen minutes before I hear the door open and when I look up mid-chewing, it's to see him enter the room with a pleased smile when he finds the first roll of kimbap nearly done.

I feel myself blush a little because that last bite was bigger than I could handle, my cheeks puffing out as they try to handle the size of the food that I'm struggling in swallowing no matter how much I chew, it has him chuckling as he comes to sit in front of me.

"You look like you're trying to store food in those cute cheeks of yours, I can always make more when there's none left, Y/N, please take your time" he muses with delight, I shake my head as I finally manage to swallow, goodness that was a lot.

"While very kind, you don't need to waste your time making more for me, Seokjin, this is plenty enough" I tell him but he dismisses my comment with a hum, his gaze instead going down to look at what remains of the first roll.

"Is kimbap a favorite of yours? There were many choices in the fridge, I thought you would have taken something fancier" he asks, sincerely curious about the source of my decision, I once more shake my head as I straighten up on my seat, eyes also staring at the delicious food in front of me.

"It's actually my first time eating that, I've made it in the past but I never had a taste myself" I admit softly only to be greeted with silence next.

"You... you've never had kimbap before? Not even once?". I look up to see the disbelief on his face, but then a smile appears and grows until his eyes sparkle and I blink in confusion.

"Are you saying that I made the food that you're tasting for the first time? My recipe gets to be the first? Is it as good as you thought it would be? Better than you thought? Should I make it more often? Is there anything you believe I should change, or things to add?" he proceeds to throw thousands of questions my way and it takes me aback, why does he find such joy in this?

"Why are you so happy about your kimbap being my first?" I ask, truly confused as I stare at him, he stills at my question, smile dimming slightly before he tilts his head to one side cutely.

"Why would I not be happy about it? Making someone happy with food you've made yourself is so satisfying, surely your parents would have told you at least once that to see you happy is more filling than any meal, right? This is just the same to me" he chirps with a chuckle, eyes stating that he's expecting me to have the same experience he seems to have had with his own parents.

Except that I'm hearing this for the first time. Or am I really? Whenever my siblings would thank our mom for the meal, wouldn't she tell them something similar sometimes? That seeing them eat so well was all she could ask for, all she needed, isn't it similar?

I wish this would have been said to me as well, but my experience consisted of a mother telling me from as young as my five years old that if I ever wanted her to love me one day, that I should give up and just not make her life harder, that her keeping me around was already enough of a gift on her part and that I should never ask for more.

As soon as the eldest of my two younger brothers turned old enough that he could watch over our younger sisters without my help, mom told me to scram, that she didn't need me anymore, that it was time I live on my own.

The next thing I knew, I was out of the house, the door locked to my nose and my siblings phone numbers were changed so that I wouldn't be able to contact them again. I was suddenly cut off from the family with no way to communicate with my baby brothers and sisters, just like that.

The last of my appetite fades away and I slide what remains of the roll towards him, unseeing the way his face falls, clearly noticing that he said something he shouldn't have, he just touched a sensitive topic, he can see it clear as day.

"You should take a break, Seokjin, I'll get back to work, we can't leave the shop unsupervised for too long" I tell him in a whisper before leaving the room with quick feet, ignore the way he calls out my name with guilt as I close the door behind me softly.

I sigh to myself, try to swallow down the pain that rose to uncomfortable levels, it's fine, I'll be fine, I'll find a way to get in contact with them soon, I'll do my best to make it happen.

I look around the room and take in its current state, there's no one apparently waiting to be served, no one at the counter, Taehyung and Jimin are still working in silence, it's pretty calm for now and that's both what I need and not what I need, I wish I could busy myself with tasks so that I wouldn't have to think, but to hear the music in this calm atmosphere is soothing.

I lean against the wall behind me and turn my gaze to the wide windows to take in the sun and the passersby who seem to be having a great time, the weather is pretty great today, it's perfect for a walk.

I feel bad that I just left Seokjin behind like that without even reassuring him that he didn't do anything wrong, but I couldn't help it.

I don't want to live my life in the shadows of the past, I want to experience the light, at least once, yet any mentions of what a happy family should be like brings clouds back into my sky and I can never find the force to push them back once they come.

I don't know why it happens and it's bothering me, it's been my reality for as long as I can think of, I should've accepted it as my truth, yet it's so hard to do. I'll end up walking away and then I'll wither silently in my lonely corner.

Maybe I react that way because I'm scared that people would judge me and push me away once they hear about my life, about me being an unwanted child, who would want to befriend someone who can't even be loved by their own parents?

The landlord feels like an exception for the sole reason of our past being similar, but I don't believe anyone else could react as understanding as he did. If I were to tell Seokjin, would he start feeling disgusted with me? Would he start seeing the flaws that my mother always saw in me?

I hear him join my side before I see him, one glance to my side revealing him leaning against the wall besides me, he looks sad, disappointed with himself and that's not something I like seeing on him so I smile to reassure him, that's what I should've done earlier instead of running off like a scared children.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I shouldn't have assumed something so easily" he murmurs softly, his eyes wet with unshed tears, it breaks my heart, seeing him crying would surely hurt me more than the mention of something I never had a taste of.

"You're fine, Seokjin, it's not on you, you didn't do anything wrong" I reply with another smile before turning my gaze back to the windows, he inhales deeply, his eyes remaining on me as he tries to think of what to say to make me forgive him, but he doesn't need to.

"I really mean it, Seokjin, please stop worrying about it. You've been incredibly kind to me, you took me in and gave me a job of your own will, you allowed me to eat the food you make with a warm smile and you keep helping me with a patience that still takes me aback at times. I'm just... not very comfortable when my family is mentioned, it's... a difficult topic, especially as of late" I let him know, I don't want him to feel bad for something that is entirely out of his control.

He relaxes a little at my admission and I look up just in time to see his ears turning red, a small sniffle leaving him before he smiles at me like he always does, with warmth and gentleness. "Then it won't be mentioned again, I promise, but I want you to know that I'll always be willing to listen if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, when you're comfortable to do so".

I smile back at him with a nod of the head and we remain in silence in a more comfortable ease, his willingness to understand something that warms my heart, Seokjin is a good person.

"I understand why people come back so often now" I suddenly blurt out when I realize that I never took the time to compliment his food. He turns his head and quirks an eyebrow at me as he waits for me to continue. "The food, it was delicious, it really was".

He releases a pleased hum and pushes out his chest proudly, just slightly but it's enough to notice. "Of course it is, I didn't ace the best food courses at the best schools only to end up making regular and boring food" he muses and I giggle with a nod of the head, he's even more impressive than I first thought, Seokjin is amazing.

"I see, that explains everything then" I muse back, he chuckles in response and we fall into a comfortable silence again, the tension gone as we instead enjoy each other's company.

I could get used to this.

---

When I see Taehyung walk up to the counter with tired eyes, I walk closer to stand in front of him on the other side of the counter with concern. He stares at the drinks in the display case, then at the coffee menu before sighing, he doesn't look like he's doing too well.

"Are you alright?" I ask him and when his eyes meet mine, he forces a small smile before nodding his head. "I'm just tired, I need a good wake up drink but I hate coffee, I'm a little at a loss as to what to get".

I hum, yeah, that's not fun, feeling tired when you're busy... it sucks. "I could make you a tea? We have some that help with giving energy, they could do the trick, Seokjin told me which ones aren't bitter so I could make you something a little sweet, as sweet as tea permits" I offer, watch as his eyes light up with interest, it seems the idea has caught his attention.

"That actually sounds great, I hadn't thought of that one, I usually drink tea before bed but you're right, some are just as good as a cup of coffee, I'll leave that to you then, please" he chirps with renewed energy before going back to his table only to lose the newly acquired energy once he's sat down, yeah, he really needs a little pick-me-up.

I turn around to head to the section where we keep the tea but then find Seokjin staring at me with a smug smile that has me rolling my eyes as I walk past him. "I can guess what you're thinking, Seokjin, don't let your imagination run wild".

He hums in amusement and shrugs as he follows me, his side resting against the counter as he eyes the next steps I do carefully, a little warning when I've filled the teaspoon a little too much. "I didn't say anything, I was just smiling" he defends himself with a teasing tone, I can only huff out a small laugh while heating the water.

After finishing preparing the tea under Seokjin's eyes so I can learn exactly how to make them perfectly and not pick up some bad habits right from the start, he sends me to Taehyung with an encouraging pat to the shoulder before walking to the counter to serve an old couple and I make my way to the struggling and sleepy man.

I set the cup near him and he shoots me a grateful smile before sliding his laptop aside to focus on drinking the tea while I remain near, just in case he doesn't like it, I hope I chose well, not knowing is a little nerve-wracking.

It takes a moment because he doesn't put the cup down, but when he finally does, half of the tea already gone, he smiles in satisfaction and looks up at me with a small thumb up that makes me sigh in relief. "It's very good, thank you, it'll be a perfect wake-me-up".

I bow quickly before rushing back to the counter, nearly trip on my feet while trying to avoid the sudden back step the old man does but I manage my way to Seokjin unscathed with red cheeks when he tuts at me with an endeared shake of the head.

"So, did he like it?" he asks me and I nod my head eagerly, that he did! He chuckles fondly before ruffling my hair, a move that never misses making my heart stutter, I love when he does that and I've been here only two days. "That's great, good job dear".

The next remaining hours are slow and Taehyung eventually leaves the shop with a small nod sent our way after paying while Jimin remains completely immersed in his work, I try to remain as quiet as possible as I stand behind him to clean up the table the nice man used all day, I don't want to make him mad again, it was really scary earlier.

When I make a move to empty the dishwasher, Seokjin comes to help me and we end up joking around and laughing quietly together until I lose my smile when I notice the pink haired man now standing in front of the cash register with a look on his face that I can't understand, I look away as soon as our eyes meet.

Noticing my reaction, Seokjin looks up as well and even makes a conscious move to hide me from sight when he finds Jimin waiting silently to pay, his card already out and handed over so he can leave as soon as possible.

It all happens very quickly from there, Seokjin finalizes the receipt, he uses the card on the machine and when it ends back in Jimin's fingers, the man turns around and leaves without a word, the jingles of the door closing behind him the only sound he's really made since that bout of anger.

It makes me feel awful, that he might really hate me now, especially because Seokjin defended me instead of excusing his behavior, what if he never comes back because of me?

"Don't worry about it, Y/N, he's always like that" he tries to reassure me but I look up at him with a concerned pout anyway. "What if I just made you lose a regular? He was really angry".

The tall man shrugs. "If he stops coming because I didn't let him insult you, then he's welcome to go somewhere else, I don't tolerate that kind of behavior, especially not towards the people I care about".

With that said, he sends me to clean up the seating area after switching the door sign and once done with the little tasks, I give him my goodbyes before stepping outside to make my way back home.

I glance at the people riding their bicycles around me and I let my mind wander to that Namjoon man who helped me yesterday. I wonder if I'm going to see his charming smile again soon.