A/N:  So, here's one of the most anticipated chapters.  As with my original book, this is going to be done in 2 parts, with the next part being a nightmare.

You can skip this part if you want.  If you aren't, then go somewhere where people won't give you weird looks as you hold back sobs, and get your tissue box(es) ready.

Enjoy~

PS.  This is told from his view, and these will get long.

Requested by @cranberry_otaku & I gave Konoha control of my account & @AngelicaWilson250

Warning:

This chapter contains graphic and/or triggering material.  For those not comfortable or take issue, please skip this chapter.

Author-chan does not recommend any of the ways mentioned to deal with grief.

Author-chan is in no way responsible for making anyone cry.

Denmark

"Another round barman."  I slurred out.  The man behind the counter just slid me another mug of beer which I began drinking.

"Mattias?"  A voice said.  I glanced over and saw a nervous Tino standing there with the other Nordics.

"What?"  I asked.

"Mattias...  We're worried for you,"  Tino said softly.  "You shouldn't do this to yourself... [name] wouldn't-"  I cut Tino off by slamming my mug on the counter.

"Don't give me that crap."  I said, glaring at him as he retreated behind Berwald.

"Mattias,"  Lukas said, stepping forward.  "You can't go on like this just because she's gone."  He said, making me snort.

"I can't, huh?  Watch me,"  I said, taking another swing of my beer.

"You're drunk,"  Lukas said, scoffing slightly.

"Yeah, and it's because I'm drunk that I can forget about it; that [name]'s dead and it's my f***ing fault."  I said.

"'t's n't y'r f'lt [It's not your fault],"  Berwald said, making me glare up at him.

"It is; I was the one who was driving that damn car after we had been out drinking, I'm the one who couldn't see straight enough to see the other car coming down the road."  I said, taking another sip.

"Mattias, it's not your fault."  Emil said.  "The other guy was just as drunk, hence why he was driving down the wrong side of the road."

"Shut it,"  I growled.  "Just leave me to my booze."  I said, finishing the beer.  "Barman!  Another round!"  I called.

The others glanced at each other before slowly walking away, finally doing what I wanted them to do; leave me to drown my sorrows in beer as another mug filled with beer slid toward me.

With a sigh, I laid my head down and stared at the golden liquid.

'God [name]... I'm a mess of a king without you my queen... and it's all my fault... my fault you're gone... and this is all I can do to ease the pain...'  I thought, finally lifting the new mug of beer to my mouth.

Finland

I panted as I clutched my rifle close, standing with [name] behind the ruins of a building as I glanced around the street, trying to see if it was safe for us to move yet.

"Tino,"  [name] whispered.  "I'm scared.  Why are we being attacked?"

"I don't know rakas, I just don't know,"  I said, watching as a few people darted about, obviously trying to escape this town as we were.  "Okay, coast seems clear, let's go."  I said, pulling her along with me.

Just then we heard gunfire and screams, as more refugees like us began running through the streets.

"AHH!  TINO!"  [name] screamed, covering her head as bullets went flying.

"Come one rakas, we have to keep running!"  I yelled back as we continued to run.

"Tino, I don't think I can!"  She said, wheezing.  I turned back and everything seemed to go in slow motion as I saw a sniper on top of a building fire, the bullet heading straight for [name], going straight through her chest.  Our eyes met, both widening as blood spewed forth from the wound as [name] fell to the ground like a lifeless rag doll.

"[name]!"  I screamed, getting on my knees beside her, staring into her glazed-over dead eyes.

'Dear god, what did we do to deserve this?'  I questioned, looking up at the sky, my tears spilling over, mixing with the blood on my clothing.

Iceland

I laid in bed, blankets wrapped around me as I overheard the other Nordics in the house talking.

"I can't believe a terrorist attack happened in Iceland."  Tino said.

"Mmm."

"Yes, but worse than that was the fact that one of the victims was [name],"  Lukas said softly.

"What?!  No wonder Emil's up in his room so upset."  Mattias said, only to be choked by Lukas.

"Not so loud you stupid Dane."  Lukas hissed.  I just sighed and rolled out of bed, dragging the blankets with me as I walked over to the mirror in my room and peered inside.

I was skinnier, with bloodshot eyes and bags under them, my skin sickly pale.  My eyes wandered down to my unbuttoned nightshirt, allowing me to see my heart as I put my hand on the mirror, looking at the long jagged scar that was there, a permanent reminder of what had just happened.

With a sigh I just placed my head against the mirror, watching as tears I didn't even think I had enough water left in me to shed fell to the ground, landing near my feet.

"..."  I just walked like a zombie back to bed and laid down, pulling the blankets around me, covering my head, leaving me in darkness.

'Why did this happen?'  I questioned silently.  'My country never did anything wrong, and [name] certainly didn't do anything wrong... so why?  Why did they have to kill her and hurt me like this?'  I wondered, but of course, there was no answer given to me.

Norway

"I'm worried,"  Tino said.  "Lukas hasn't moved an inch for the last 3 hours."  He whispered to the other Nordics who stood several feet behind me.

"L've h'm b', h' n'ds t'me [Leave him be, he needs time],"  Berwald said.  The others began talking again as I tuned them out and stared at the stone before me.

"Here lies [name] [lastname], may you rest in peace,"  It had written on it as I thought back, back to only a few days before.

~Flashback~

"Dyrebare,"  I said softly, sitting down at her bedside.

"Hello Lukas,"  She said softly, the wrinkles on her face multiplying as she gave me a weak smile.

"Dyrebare... please let me make you immortal,"  I said, getting a sad smile from her as she squeezed my hand and shook her bald head.

"No Lukas,"  She said softly, a gently hand beginning to caress my cheek.  "You know I can't do that.  Even if I became immortal, I'd still be like this,"  She said, motioning to her aged form.

"I can make you younger,"  I said, making her chuckle softly.

"I know, you can make this old woman go from eighty to twenty one, but that won't stop my illness."  She said.  "Lukas, you said it yourself, there is no magical or scientific cure for cancer."  She said.

"I'll find one."  I said stubbornly.  "Just give me time."

"Lukas... I don't think I have that much time..."  She said softly.

I didn't answer back, only leaned forward and hugged her frail form tightly.

~End of Flashback~

'How right she was,'  I thought to myself darkly, seeing as after she had told me that she died only a few days later, leaving me all alone.

"..."  I remained silent as I continued to stare at her grave, rain beginning to fall on the cemetery, as if the sky itself was expressing my sadness for me.

Sweden

I looked up at the ceiling of the ambulance, covering my eyes with my arm, ignoring the paramedics around me as I remembered the events that had just happened.

~Flashback~

I had just been heading over to [name]'s house when I saw a pillar of smoke rising from that area.  Worried, I hurried over, only to find her house and several others on fire, people screaming and running everywhere.

I ran out of the car and into [name]'s house.

"[name]!"  I called out, trying to brave the flames.

"BERWALD!"  I heard her call from upstairs.  I ran up the stairs and found the door to her bedroom blocked by some fallen wood.

"H'ng 'n [Hang on]!"  I yelled, hearing coughing from the other side.  I grabbed the burning wood, ignoring the feeling of my flesh burning and strained to pull it away from the door.

But just as I had, the ceiling began collapsing, a pillar falling on me.

"BERWALD!"  I heard [name] scream, more wood collapsing.  I tried to move but couldn't because I was pinned down.

My vision began to go fuzzy as firemen came, hurrying to help get the pillar off me.

"[name]..."  I murmured hazily as they began pulling me from the building.

~End of Flashback~

After that, everything was a blur as I was loaded into the ambulance, people trying to treat my burns.

But one thing stuck out in my mind;

Just as they were loading me into the ambulance, I swear I saw a body bag near [name]'s house with [h/c] colored hair sticking out of it.

'[name]... pl'se... pl'se d'n't b' th' p'rs'n ly'ng th'r' [please... please don't be the person lying there],'  I thought, but deep down, a voice told me that my greatest fear had come to pass;

That she was the one lying in that bag.

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A/N:  After reading all that I think everyone needs some fluff so go to my one-shots book where I have a new neko FACE family chapter up :)