Sampurnaa's wedding saree and look.☝

Pic credits: instagram

"A happy marriage is about three things; memories of togetherness, forgiveness of mistakes and a promise to never give up on one another."

-Surabhi Surendra
_________
28th November
Sampurnaa's pov:

Priyanka and Sridha did my make up with Maa's help. She was trying to apply foundation on my face but I refused.

"I have to sit in front of a pyre! What the hell will I do with the foundation and concealer? I will sweat there and then end up looking like a ghost. Please don't apply any make up. Just the eyes and the sandalwood paste please." I requested her

Priyanka looked at Maa for help. She thought for a moment and then took my side. I smiled gratefully and she applied eyeliner and handed me the kohl stick.
Once I was done with the eyeliner and kohl, she handed me the lipstick. I grimaced but one stern glare from Maa made me oblige.

After that, Sridha asked me to sit down. She took a bindi and put it on my forehead. She took a bowl of sandalwood paste and with the help of a thin paintbrush, made an intricate design on my forehead. Priyanka came ahead with kumkum and elaborated the design further.

Appearance:

My hair was braided and then decorated with a string of jui flowers.
Once my face was ready, it was already 7.30 p.m.
Maa went off to check things after appreciating my look. Priyanka and Sridha got ready while I was waiting for them.
They helped me drape the saree when they got back. The saree is literally so beautiful!
The jewellery was put on me one by one, followed by the veil. Finally I could be called a kone i.e., a Bengali bride.
...

It is 8 p.m. now and from how things sound, I am guessing that the bridegroom and the borjatri(the groom's side comprising of friends, family and relatives) just arrived.
Sridha and Priyanka were sitting with me but they ran away the moment it became clear that the bridegroom had arrived. I was left alone in the room. I could hear the conch and the women ululating.
My pulse quickened at each passing second as reality hit me hard.

I was in deep thought for a long time... Pondering over every moment that I had spent as an unmarried girl at my parents' place. I reminisced moments with Dada and everything that I would miss in the future. It was 8.30 p.m. when Indrayan's father, maternal uncle, aunt and Dida entered my room with Dada, Adrija Boudi Priyanka and Sridha.

Dida came and sat next to me and asked me to look up at her completely. I lifted my eyes hesitantly and she kissed my forehead gently.
"Beautiful! You look beautiful! The prettiest bride that my grandson could have got."

For some reason, the confidence that I generally carry about myself has gone on a vacation. I blushed!
Honestly, I have been behaving like a typical Indian, shy bride for the past two days... That is completely ironical to my nature! I thanked her for her compliment softly and she blessed me.
The other elders blessed me with a happy married life ahead and then I was fed a sweet by Dida.
Finally, I had something to eat since morning!

Dada was looking at me intensely. I looked at him questioningly.
"You are looking okay." he told me gruffly

I smiled a naughty grin because I know what he means. Adrija Boudi hit him at that.
"She looks beautiful. Not OKAY!"

Priyanka and Sridha cheered her on that and then they began quarreling.
Finally, when I couldn't take it further, I asked them to shut up.

"Where is everyone gone?" Sridha asked me once they quietened down.

"Either they ran away because of you idiots... Or maybe they had some ritual to see to." I replied shrugging my shoulders.

They nodded and went their ways... All except Dada.

"It is 9.15 now. We will come to take you at 9.50." he told me not looking at me

He was about to leave, but I stopped him.

"If you did not want me to go; why did you encourage me to get married?" I asked him

"I thought I was strong enough to let you go..." he began but emotions choked him

I hugged him as he took me in his embrace silently.
No words were exchanged; but we spoke a lot in silence.
Finally after 5 minutes, we broke the embrace and Dada wiped my tears away.

"You'll look like a ghost if that mascara runs down your cheeks!" he told me with a smile and left

I smiled to myself. God! I was going to miss him... A lot!

...

It is 9.45 now. Priyanka and Sridha just came in again in order to do last minute touch ups. Sridha adjusted my veil while Priyanka reapplied the kohl for me. She handed me betel leaves and the gaachhkouto.

Gaachhkouto: a red coloured pot that is filled with sindoor(vermilion) and a silver coin. The bride has to carry this all the time till she enters her in-laws' place. It is carried by Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth. The bride carrying the gaachhkouto signifies her as the Lakshmi of her in-laws' house.

Dada came in with two of the neighbourhood boys of my age and Zakir. I was made to sit on a pidi (a low stool without legs)
The bride is supposed to be carried to the 'chhaadnatola' or the wedding altar by her brothers. The bride, usually seated on a low wooden stool called pidi is lifted by her brothers and is taken round the groom in seven complete circles. The significance is they are winded up securely to each other.
The bride has her eyes and face covered with the betel leaves while circling the groom.

Priyanka asked me to cover my eyes with the betel leaves. Dada came and asked me to sit still as the four of them would now lift me up.

"Don't let me fall! I know I am heavy... But please I don't want to hurt myself at my own wedding!" I told him anxiously

He touched my cheek and told me reassuringly.
"You won't fall. We won't let you! Just think of something that would keep you calm and not worked up."

I nodded and covered my eyes with the betel leaves and threw one arm around Dada's neck as the four men lifted me off the ground.

My heart hammered against my chest as they carried me gradually towards the wedding altar, in the community hall of our building; on the ground floor.

I heard footsteps behind and I knew that Priyanka and Sridha were there too. My grip tightened around Dada's collar as a wave of anxiousness went through me. We had reached the wedding altar.

The sound from the conch echoed about in the hall and the women ululated.
Dada whispered in my ear,
"We are there with you. You will not fall... Not as long as I am there, bonu."

I nodded very slightly, so as to refrain from disturbing the betel leaves in my hand and also to ensure equilibrium since I had been lifted by three men.
They began circling me while I shut my eyes tightly, behind the betel leaves and tried to calm my anxious self.

...

Indrayan's pov:

Sampurnaa's father, Anirban Uncle helped me into the wedding altar after I had been formally welcomed by his wife. He offered me new clothes that I had to wear during the wedding ceremony after he welcomed me as his soon to be son in-law.
Potto Bastra - After the groom is seated at the chhadnatola (wedding altar and canopy) - the sanctum sanctorum where only the groom, bride and the priest takes their place, the groom is offered new clothes by the person who is to do the sampradaan - the elderly male member of the family who does sampradan offers the responsibility of the bride to the groom.

I was required to perform a few rituals and chant endless things like the priest asked me to.

After what seemed to be infinity, the priest looked at the watch on his wrist and asked Abhimanyu to bring his sister to the altar.
I was made to stand in the centre of the chhadnatola. Adrija came and stood next to me.
"She is looking very pretty, bhai." she whispered in my ear

Trust me I would have hit her on her head had I not been expected to behave like an ideal groom! During her wedding, when I had lifted her, she had peeked through the betel leaves and looked at Abhimanyu.
I remember her whispering in my ear even at that time, "Good God! He looks so damn good!"
I guess this was pretty expected considering the fact that she had a love marriage.... But she doesn't really understand my situation!

The thought of getting married itself is terrifying... And now when it is actually happening, it is really causing anxiety. I breathed and breathed out trying to calm the inner turmoil and stood straight just as Abhimanyu, Zakir and two other boys appeared with Sampurnaa. She had her face and eyes covered with betel leaves and her actions could very well tell the world how anxious she was feeling then.

She tightened her grip around Abhimanyu's collar and Abhimanyu whispered something into her ear. She calmed down visibly and then they began circling me.

Everyone was in a mood for fun.
The kids hooted while the younger women, who I guess are Sampurnaa and Priyanka's schoolfriends teased and confused the four men who were doing their task diligently.

"The third round just got completed." one of them said after the fifth round

"No this was the seventh! Sampurnaa must be desperate to look at her husband now!" someone else shouted

I just felt like rolling my eyes.
Did anyone not tell them that this was a pure arranged marriage? And that we both were as good as office colleagues when conversing?

The elders who had counted correctly helped the confused guys and finally seven rounds were over.

Sampurnaa and I were now face to face. The betel leaves were still in her hands, blocking her view and hiding her face.
The priest asked her to remove the betel leaves for Shubho Drishti.

Subho Dristi - After saat paak the bride and the groom are made to look at each other in front of all the assembled invitees. The bride is told to remove the paan leaves. This exchange of loving glance is to initiate them to be together officially by the society.

Sampurnaa did not comply. One of her friends passed a teasing comment about her being shy... Yet she did not remove the betel leaves.

Finally, Adrija decided to help her out.
"Sampurnaa," she called her out gently
"Remove the betel leaves from your eyes."

Her friend Priyanka urged her to do the same. As for me, I just stood there like an idiot. I am obviously not supposed to speak to her during the wedding ceremony.
Truth be told, I was waiting for her to remove the leaves, so I could look at her once. Since the time I have arrived, random people have been teasing me saying that my bride is looking beautiful... And that sort of makes me curious... To look at her once, in her wedding attire instead of the formals she wore regularly.

Finally, Sampurnaa removed the betel leaves from her face and I got to look at her. She was indeed looking beautiful... A simple and ethereal bride!
She had her gaze fixed on the ground... Contrary to the usual confident glares that she often shot at me.

Adrija asked her to lift her gaze once and to look at me. The older women started teasing her and asked her to take a look at her groom, but she did not budge.

Finally, Abhimanyu whispered audibly, "Look up bonu, or else you might be on the ground after a bad fall on your wedding day."

Sampurnaa shot him a glare and he smirked.
Sridha requested her this time, "Di! You haven't had anything since morning. Neither did jiju. The quicker you get done with everything, the quicker you'll get food."

Everyone laughed at her childish request and I saw Sampurnaa hiding her smile while looking down at her lap. The priest asked her to look up, again and this time she finally did.

Our gazes met and everyone hooted. She smiled shyly and then looked away again.

Adrija directed her to do the next step.

"Throw the two betel leaves on either side of my brother." she instructed her

Sampurnaa did as she was told.

The next step was the exchange of garlands or the mala bodol.

We both were made to exchange garlands..

The exchanging of garlands is common to Hindu weddings of all communities. It is considered to be the first step of acceptance from the bride and the groom's side.

Sampurnaa put a garland around my neck and I did the same. After this, we exchanged the garlands that were already around our necks.

The next step of the wedding ceremony is the Sampradan

Sampradan - The bride then takes her place at the chadnatolla where an elderly male member of the bride's family hands her over to the groom and the couple's hands are bound by the sacred thread amidst recital of Vedic chants and are placed on the mangal ghot - a brass pitcher filled with water that is covered with mango leaves attached to one twig and a green coconut placed on it.

Sampurnaa's father came ahead to perform the Sampradan. The priest instructed him to take my right hand and place it on a brass pitcher with my palm outstretched. The priest asked Anirban Uncle to chant whatever he does and to follow the steps as he directed.
After this, Uncle placed Sampurnaa's hand in mine. She shivered slightly the moment our hands got in contact. Her hand was cold; making her anxiousness and anxiety apparent.
Uncle then tied our hands together with some thread while reciting Vedic chants.
Sometime later, the priest declared that the Sampradan had been done successfully.
Sampurnaa and I were made to sit next to one another after this and we both had to repeat the chants that the priest recited.

Saptapadi or the seven steps followed next. Adrija tied Sampurnaa's veil to the loose stole that I had been asked to carry and then we were asked to circle the fire while making promises to one another. I led the first four rounds and Sampurnaa, the last three rounds.
The promises exchanged are really orthodox and somehow aren't made for me and Sampurnaa. The promises required the bride to take charge of all domestic concerns and children while the husband promised to provide for her and their family. The bride is supposed to declare through the promises that her husband will be the first and foremost man in her life whose wishes would always be respected by her. I do not abide by all these rules and the only promise I silently made for Sampurnaa was,
"I will always treat you with respect, as an equal. I shall never do anything that would make you uncomfortable. I will remain loyal to you and will support you in achieving your dreams. I know you are afraid that dynamics will change after marriage and that you will be bound by domestic obligations; I promise I'll never allow that to happen as long as I am alive.I can't promise to be the best husband or the perfect husband; but I shall strive to be the husband you want me to be."

The Saptapadi concluded and the two of us were now required to make an offering to the God of fire, Agni. Abhimanyu got us both some khoi or puffed rice in order to go ahead with the ritual.

Anjali or Kusumdinge – An offering to the fire is made. The bride's brother puts puffed rice (khoi) in the hands of the bride, and the groom standing close to her holds her hands from the back and extends their arms forward. They then pour the offering into the fire together.

Abhimanyu placed the khoi on Sampurnaa's palms and the priest asked me to hold her hands from behind while standing close to her. I obliged.
The moment my hand came in contact with Sampurnaa's, I felt her shiver once. I could feel the anxiety and doubt in her actions. Marriage seriously makes your insides churn!

Anjali or Kusumdinge

P.S. ignore the mehendi on the palms. This is just for illustrative purpose. Pic credits: google images

We both poured the khoi together, gradually as the priest continued with the chanting.

Once done, the priest instructed the two of us to sit down, next to one another. Now was the final ritual, the sindoor-daan.
This would officially bind us together as husband and wife.

Sampurnaa was breathing heavily. Priyanka came next to her and whispered something in her ear. Sampurnaa simply nodded and held her hand in fear and anxiety.

Priyanka looked at me and gestured that Sampurnaa was feeling anxious and worried. I cleared my throat in order to gain her attention.
She looked at me after a few seconds.
I blinked reassuringly and she nodded. I asked her through actions if she wanted me to go ahead, and she nodded in the affirmative after a moment of thinking. Priyanka asked her something in her ear and Adrija also bent down to speak to her... To reassure her.

At last her father came and spoke to her. He asked her if she wanted to go ahead and she nodded.
It was only after this that the priest handed me a silver coin and the vermilion box.
I took the coin and took a small amount of vermilion with its help and turned towards Sampurnaa. Priyanka lifted her maang tikka and I brought my hand with the coin near her parting.

I looked into her eyes, seeking a silent permission. I felt her inhale deeply and then blink, giving her green signal.

I applied sindoor on her parting and Adrija covered Sampurnaa's head partially with the lojja bostro that I was required to cover her head with totally, thus making her a married woman and my wife... And me, her husband.

Sindoordaan

Sindoor Daan and Ghomta – Once again seated at their respective places in chadnatolla the groom applies sindoor or vermilion (a symbol of marriage worn by Hindu women thereafter) on the bride's hair-parting. The bride then covers her head with a new sari offered by the groom as ghomta or veil.
The lojjabostro is usually a saree that is gifted to the bride from the groom's family. It is used to cover her head after sindoordaan as a veil. The significance of this ritual is to make the bride realise that henceforth she has two families; the family she was born into and the family she got married into.

.......................

To be continued...