#3 Honor

"The motive for our actions doesn't lie ahead of us. It's something behind us that we're trying to escape."
- Peter Hoeg, The Quiet Girl

You may blame it on his desire to taste glory, or his fear to taste defeat, Durga Prasad Maheshwari was not a man who acknowledged his mistakes willingly. Like a snail hidden within its shell, inside the armor of years he had projected around him, pretending himself to be a man of great persona and wisdom, was a crawling, squashy, weak snail of a character.

Respect and glory leaves that curse upon such people, who have no capacity to hold it within themselves and feel overwhelmed by it. In his younger days as the only son of a legendary man, Durga Prasad had to hold his position, bestowed upon him by his parents. It had given him a false sense of power and a taste of splendor that he later grew addicted to. Perhaps it was the reason for people to venerate gods made of stone, unless the god has no beating heart within him, he would be blinded by pride soon and it would take a very less time for that god to shed its goodness in his pursuit of submission and his disregard of others, who he deems to be inferior to his mighty existence.

In his wife Annapurna Maheshwari, he had found the perfect devotee to his donned avatar of almighty. Instead of showing him his true ugliness hidden by a shiny, shallow shell, the lady herself turned a blind eye towards his shortcomings and continued to bestow an unworthy glow upon her husband.

So he spent his years imposing his rule over the empire he had built, hidden inside his shell quite contentedly. Whatever that came on his way, with the potential of harming his self formed illusion was either quashed by him or his overprotective wife. In a way she had become his shell herself and this was just another instance where he had taken her shelter. Had Annapurna not decided to protect him, Sanskar would have crushed Durga Prasad in his own arena.

He sighed thinking about that alternative but did not feel obligated to his wife who had just sacrificed her entire life of virtues to save his honor. After all, this was a result of her own mistake, only she had to pay for it.

If it had not been for Annapurna, Sanskar would not have been a part of their lives. It was she who brought him to their home. It had been an act Durga Prasad would not have expected from his rather obedient wife. But later he realized that all women were the same. Just as queen Gandari had blindfolded herself when she came to know that her husband was blind, Annapurna too had decided that she had an equal right in whatever folly her husband had made, therefore had the right to take measures to correct it as well.

Without consulting him, reflecting upon the honor of their family she had brought that child to his home. Perhaps as his punishment for not being faithful to her, or as a punishment for herself for not being able to produce an heir to take their glorious line forward, she had brought the reminder of the first crack in their relationship home.

Have you ever wondered what will happen to the honor of our family?' He remembered barking at her. She looked at him, with a gaze steady and teary at the same time, but her voice was firm and final.

I did, hence brought the honor of our family home instead of leaving him in streets for people to trot upon!'

That was all she had said about it. But her silence in the continuing years had screamed the set of unspoken curses she fired at him. He had to live, with that boy growing up in front of his eyes. Had to tolerate his name joined with a pest's...had to watch his wife pamper and cuddle what he considered a monster in making. She had made sure even his family accepted the child, made sure he was his heir, made sure he would follow Durga Prasad's path in future so that he would never have an escape from him. Compelled him to hear people parsing his son, condemned him to be addressed as his father and finally raised a weapon that had so ruthlessly stabbed him in his back, when the chance was given. Annapurna had extracted her revenge.

So did Durga Prasad.

He made the same woman betray that child. Made her break the bond she had created with what she used as a weapon against him. He had also reduced the man who decided to stand against him to ashes, by striking where it hurt the most. Never again would anyone dare to compare him with Sanskar, no one would take that name in his presence ever again.

With a small smile curling his stony lips he stepped out in to the night and walked in to the shed where his men were waiting.

It was time to rejoice.

*

"You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."
-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

The ropes binding his wrists and ankles were cutting in to his skin as he struggled to free himself. With his rough movements the chair he was tied to almost toppled. A dull purple bruise darkened his right cheek, his brow of cut and still bleeding, his body stiff with pain, still he had the audacity to glare at Durga Prasad as he approached.

You said I betrayed you in that last case Sanskar, You said I made you helpless. So I thought it was my duty to demonstrate you what actual betrayal and helplessness feels like.'

'Keep me confined then Mr. Maheshwari, because the day you let me go I will demonstrate you what real destruction is.'

'Such was the ego that landed you here. When will you understand Sanskar, just because you have my blood doesn't make you a worthy opponent to me.'

Sanskar said nothing, as he bit his lip to stop himself from retorting. People he loved, more than his life were still at the mercy of this man, he could hardly afford to lose his temper now. The voice of the man he had once considered his father was far more torturous than the wounds he had inflected upon him, in silence Sanskar tried to free himself.

Stop struggling,' Durga Prasad insisted in a bored tone. You can't help her now, Kavita's gone to a place where you will never reach her.'

Sanskar's eyes snapped up, holding his gaze. It had been years since Durga Prasad had looked in to his eyes. That cold hard look in them, unsettled him. This was no longer the child Annapurna had compelled him to accept, but a man who he had dared to challenge. Durga Prasad had came to witness the broken and untreatable state of his enemy, but instead of defeat and disappointment, a burning cold hatred and fury gazed back at him. He might have broken his son, but Sanskar was far beyond his capability of destruction.

What did you do with Ma?' He said in a tone that was hardly affected by his injuries. He had not even wasted a moment after Kavita's death.

What?' Durga Prasad raised an eyebrow. He had just spotted a sore spot in the enemy's armor. You think I compelled her to take me to Kavita? Or that I tortured the information out of her?' He gave a mock laughter. You mother is not what you think she is...in fact she is not your mother to begin with.'

You think I would believe a man who I've witnessed lying as smoothly as honey dipping from his tongue?'

I didn't force her.' Durga Prasad said calmly. You mother herself took my people to your hideout Sanskar, it was her decision to choose me over you.'

It's not true.'

Fine, then tell me what happened to that file of yours.'

He said the words and watched the conclusion etching across his mind. His expression changed a little to what Durga Prasad desired to witness.

It was she who swaped those files. The only person who knew where and when to do that.'

Sanskar winced. He knew the words he heard were true. He had known it from the moment he saw the blood soaked body of Kavita. He knew he had been betrayed by the only person who could ever have done that. But the incidents that followed and the pain, did not give him a chance to feel that bitterness completely. It hurt far more than the wounds on his body. Sanskar clenched his jaw, he would not give Durga Prasad that satisfaction.

Taking his silence as an opportunity given, Durga Prasad continued to talk, answering and confirming all the doubts Sanskar had and finally lifting the veil off the most darkest secrets of their lives. Now he knew how she did what she did, how she could survive the pain inflected upon her child, because he was not her child to begin with. His enemy could have plunge a knife in to his heart and pulled it out, causing a lesser agony, to what his next words did.

Now I realize why they say revenge is best served cold, this was the moment to which she sacrificed her entire life for. She brought you up, obtained your complete trust so that one day, like this one, she can hurt you for the shame and pain you put her through. I must admire her will power and patience I must...'

Could a heart so warm and tender contain so much of poison?

Sanskar thought...or tried to, as his senses went in and out of focus. The doors confining him into darkness were thrown open once more and Annapurna entered. He could not see her face in his blurred vision, but could instantly feel the protective warmth she radiated. Was he still allowed to feel that relief which was shooting through his veins at her arrival?

Realse him at once!' She barked and his final thoughts arranged in to an agonizing conclusion. "Those men listened to her"

He fell face forward, unable to retain his balance anymore and she caught him in her warm embrace. She was weeping, her salty tears stung in his fresh cuts.

Sanskar, Sanskar, please look at me! I'm sorry, are you listening? I'm sorry! Sanskar!'

Her voice dulled in to silence and her image blurred in to darkness. He was simply too tired to feel betrayed or helpless and her embrace was as welcoming as it ever was. Sanskar knew that once he wakes up, she would no longer be his mother, but the wife of his enemy who had snatched everything from him. But still in that unconscious moment, he was her child, craving for her warmth and yearning for her shelter. He would hold on to that moment as long as he can, so would she.

*