♢

(Play song in media here)

I wonder which had been the better way to die.

Can you honestly live the way you want without someone getting in your way?

I wondered that throughout my meagre existence.

Your mind has been shattered to pieces because of her.

The memories are coming back even though I don't want it.

There's no one you can rely on.

I have Chiharu.

What does she mean to you?

Unable to give a reply? You can't even form words to describe why you like her.

I can't think straight. My head's scrambled beyond repair.

Is that really true?

Who knows.

You're just a liar through and through. Finally accepting the truth means you're conforming to your own terrible situation.

I can't fight against this current of fate anymore. It's pointless.

Yet you still speak to me, trying to find a way out of the darkness. Do you really want to disappear?

No. Of course I don't. That's my greatest fear.

Ubume promised you that she'd never let you disappear. Where is she now?

She's an unreliable person, like everyone else.

Like Kristy? Ryuzaki? Zeon? Rukia? Shika? Chiharu?

Don't lump Chiharu with them.

Then where is she in your time of need?

Unable to answer again? You're probably thinking "I pushed her away to protect her". Stop thinking selfishly like that.

Quit the pathetic act. Just give me an answer. Stop lying to yourself and realise that you don't care for anyone else but yourself.

We're both existences who live for themselves. No one else.

Human bonds are fake. Friendship is built on lies. Betrayal is the only thing left for people like us.

That's not true.

Where are your friends then? Did they abandon you? Or did you abandon them?

Shut up.

So you chose to push them aside. For what reason? To sink yourself deeper into despair? To let yourself float through the flow of things?

You've always hurt yourself trying to go against it. Fighting Inferno, Spectre, Kai and Gyze. All those fights brought you a step closer to your cryptic past.

Then, in that final fight against the person you wanted to protect most, they betrayed you.

You realised the truth.

You can't escape the truth.

You can't lie to yourself anymore.

You wanted to accept it this entire time.

But you're scared to cut the final cord between you and yourself.

The fear of disappearing has penetrated deep in your heart and weighs down on your chest heavily like anxiety.

Even though you've done everything to make your disappearance as painless as possible, to disappear on your terms, to fade away for your sake, you've been accidentally walking down a staircase of hell by yourself.

You've hit the lowest point where there's nowhere else to run.

You can't escape fate.

It's inevitable.

Through your struggles, you finally met me.

The shadow trapped deep within your black, innocent heart.

Like me, we both share the same ideals. You can't suppress your true nature. It's bound to come out eventually.

Dyed in a pure white. Brilliant glowing light. Peaceful wings of bliss.

An angel.

All that's left of that rotten body. That rotten brain. That rotten heart.

The stardust born from your nightmares.

The final summit of hope remaining.

You can still be human.

I'm too far gone.

Then you choose to accept the demon?

I've always been one.

Release the darkness. Open Pandora's Box. Set yourself free of the sins and darkness locked in your heart.

I am the key.

You are the only one who can choose your fate.

Don't let life choose it for me.

Focus on only yourself.

Focus only on me.

The sound of our hearts.

The sound of broken glass.

Surrounded in a field of red spider lilies. Is this the way you wish to die?

Which had been the better way to die?

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Open it.

Close it.

I'm nothing like you.

You're an ignorant fool.

Your words are cheap sugar-coated lies.

You still don't accept your reality do you.

I can't.

You're still afraid of letting go.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

I am.

You are.

Yozora Shinsei.

Yza Blade.

That voice.

Remember the blazing black flames that dominated the landscape we were born in.

An angel.

A demon.

Can such a contradiction exist?

Awaken it.

Disappearing while dying.

Disappearing while living.

Which had been the better way to die.

♢

(Opening here)

Callum trudged inside the visitor's room with handcuffs around his wrists. Each step he took echoed squeakily, in the near empty room. Ayato followed him inside, a walkie-talkie and baton fitted on the sides of his utility belt. Ayato guided Callum to the seldom chair that sat opposite a glass pane wall with three small holes just above the table adjacent to it.

As Callum got comfy in the plastic chair, with Ayato stood to the side, grabbed his walkie-talkie, and contacted the officers on the other end of the visitor's room. A shackle being undone echoed on the other side, followed by the sound of leather bending. Callum's eyes widened as he watched his visitor sit across him.

"What the... why are you here?"

Zeon stared at Callum. His eyes were empty and fading blue, near grey. Hair that was beginning to get long fell around Zeon's ghostly pale face. Sinister shadows danced across Zeon's bloodshot eyes and scrunched nose. The bags under his eyes looked like a ladder of sleepless nights scarring his face.

"Teach me how to kill someone."

Ayato looked up at Zeon, disturbed. Callum blinked, before laughing.

"Hahaha. What? Come again?"

Zeon slammed the table, fury running in the veins that popped on his fists.

"Teach me how to kill someone."

Callum snickered, shaking his head.

"Seriously? Seriously? This is the reason you came to see me? To learn how to kill someone? You realise where we are right? The police will have you locked up quicker than they did with me. You're a smart young man. Don't throw away your future—"

"I DON'T HAVE A FUTURE. JUST TEACH ME HOW TO KILL SOMEONE."

Callum flinched, looking up at Zeon who stood with a face that manifested with blood red madness. His irises shrank, revealing the ugly yellow his eyes had degraded into. He huffed, cold breaths releasing from his purple cracked lips.

Looking down at his lap, Callum's eyebrows arched slightly. Ayato simply watched, sweat building on his brow.

"Who are you planning on killing?"

Zeon sat down, shaking his head.

"I'm not planning on killing anybody. I just want to know how."

"It didn't seem like it moments earlier. In the first place, asking me how to kill someone is stupid. It's easy to end a life. Get a knife and stab them in the stomach. Maybe slit their throat."

"Is that it?"

"I don't know what you were expecting."

"I'm not looking for ways to kill with a weapon. I want to find out how to kill someone with your bare hands."

"My speciality is weapons. I don't know squat about physical killing."

"I see. Sorry for wasting your time."

Zeon got up from his seat, and turned around. Callum narrowed his eyes.

"Stop it. Our chat isn't over yet. Why do you want to put yourself at a disadvantage by using your fists? Bringing a knife will give you an edge in a battle. You look weak, so I doubt you could throw a good punch."

"I'm not killing anyone. I told you that."

"Let's just assume you are."

"Don't label me a murderer."

"It's clear that you want to become one."

Zeon turned around and slowly crept back into his seat. Ruffling his hair, Zeon closed his eyes.

"It's frustrating..."

"You came to me because you feel guilty about wanting to killing someone. Isn't that right?"

"I..."

"By coming face to face with a murderer, you thought you could change your mind."

"Yes..."

"But you realised that it didn't work. So you're trying to run away."

"Yeah..."

"People don't kill for no reason. People don't hurt someone else for no reason. I may be a killer, but I'm not a cold-hearted piece of shit. I can feel empathy for someone else. The first time I killed someone, a rush of euphoria came over me. Then a lingering guilt crushed my spirit. So I killed another person to get rid of it. Then I did it again. I repeated it over and over, because I wanted to stop my feelings from eating myself. Now I feel nothing to those regretful emotions. But slowly, I'm learning what they feel like. By talking to someone, I was able to confront the past that I pushed under my feet. Now I can confidently tell my story that I was too afraid of telling before, because it made me look weak. But weakness isn't a sign of cowardice. It's a sign of strength. People who talk about this and that, what they're good at, they're the ones who're cowards. They flex their good qualities because they have nothing else going for them, and talk shit about everyone else who does the same to kick down the competition since they're afraid of being replaced."

Zeon looked up, viewing Callum's shining face through the gap between his agonised arms crossing his face.

"So don't run away from that emotion gnawing at you. Just come out with it so we can get to the bottom of this crap. You look like someone with a lot on their plate. Let a stupid killer like me finally do some right by helping you. Even if my advice might not make sense, I've done plenty of mistakes in my life. I'm ripe with knowledge for the picking. Before you act rashly and hurt someone, confess your secrets to me. Let me hear your story, like you've heard mine. Besides, we're no strangers. We've worked together before. To kill Gyze. Don't you remember? That shitty alliance saved my life. I want to repay the people that didn't betray me, even though the whole world did."

Zeon disarmed the hands that entangled in his hair.

"Is it really okay? To tell you my situation."

"Give me the details. Let me understand how you think. If we both want to kill, we can't be that different, can we?"

"I guess. It's a stupid reason though."

"My reason was to get revenge. It doesn't get any pettier than that."

"Then does killing the guy who's trying to make moves on the girl I like more shallow than that?"

"Ha... hahaha. Hahahahaha. Hahahahahahaha! You can't be serious."

"Stop laughing..."

"Sorry, but that sounds like something from an anime. No way that's real."

"That's just the summarised version. There's a lot more details that I've missed out."

"Hit me with it then. Don't leave me in the dark."

"The girl I like... is Rukia. In school, there's this guy named Kakusei. He's a popular pretty boy and became Rukia's friend very quickly. At first, everything seemed fine. Though, a feeling in my stomach felt like... he was suspicious. It turns out I was right."

"Was he trying to rape her or something?"

"It's much worse. He thinks... Rukia belongs to him. That's she's his property."

Callum covered his mouth, snickering under his breath.

"What? What kind of dumbass like that exists? He really thinks that way?"

"Yeah... he confessed his true nature to Maverick. Then Maverick handed that information to Ryuzaki, and Ryuzaki told me. Ever since then, I've been trying to come up with a way to stop Kakusei from going too far."

"Going too far? What, is he gonna kidnap her? Is this the heroine gets kidnapped and the protagonist must save her arc?"

"Kidnapping her... I doubt it. Kakusei's just... he just... he wants to become Rukia's boyfriend, even though she already has one."

"GET CUCKED! HAHAHAHA! This Kakusei fool sounds like a reta- wait, am I allowed to say that?" Callum looked at Ayato.

"No." Ayato said.

"Err... this Kakusei fool sounds like a dumbass to an extreme level. What're you scared about him for then? Why kill him? Obviously Rukia wouldn't betray her boyfriend, and he's too dumb to pull anything that could affect you."

"That's where your wrong. Kakusei's been expelled from two high schools previously for beating someone to the brink of death. The reason he beat them up is because they were "in his way" to the girl he "owned". Usually, it was their boyfriends."

"So... this fucked up guy's gonna beat up Rukia's boyfriend? And he has no idea?"

"Yeah. He has no idea that Kakusei's targeting him."

"So why the fuck did Ryuzaki tell you and not him?"

"We have no idea where her boyfriend is."

"...wait a hot second! Is her boyfriend... no way... it's that Yza guy you kept harking on about back then, isn't it?!"

"Bullseye. Right now, Rukia's got enough on her plate, so I haven't told her about Kakusei. Not only that, because they're friends, I doubt she'd believe me if I said such an outrageous thing."

"Wait, wait, how do you get involved in this love triangle? If Rukia has a boyfriend, it means she's hands-off, yet you have a crush on her? What's the deal?"

"That's the frustrating part, Callum... I know that I'll never be with Rukia. I'll always just... I'll always just be her... I'll always just be her friend... no matter what I do. Even though I want to let go of this crush... she's the only person that... made me able to live. I relied on her so much... to the point she's the only reason why everyone doesn't hate me despite the terrible, awful things I did in the past. It's because of her belief in me, that everyone else could see past how much of a disgusting person I am and be friends with me... the very least, I want to pay her back... to give as much as I can to make her happy, like how she did with me. That's why I decided."

Zeon choked, tears filling in his stinging eyes. He slammed the table with his left hand.

"I'll find Yza, her boyfriend, no matter what."

Zeon squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth. He slammed the table with his right hand.

"And that I'll protect her, no matter what happens!"

Callum's eyes widened. He chuckled, nodding.

"Oh man... you're just like me, aren't you?"

"H-huh?"

"The person who let me live was Izanoku. Even though I never had any feelings of romance towards her, unlike you, I also felt like I wanted to give back to the only person that had my back on this shitty, rotten world. I wanted to make her happy. Which is why I got her and Masaru together. I wanted to protect her. That's why I followed her orders and fought Gyze. I wanted to do the exact same things you did. I understand how you feel, Zeon."

Zeon sniffled, holding half his face with veiny, thin hands. As he did, tears began falling down his reddened, bony cheeks. A half sob, a half cry came from his parched throat.

"Your situation ain't pretty at all. This Kakusei bastard wants to hurt Yza, right? Since you want to protect Rukia, you want to get the jump on him first, before he can make a move."

"Yeah..."

"And... to do that, you want to kill him."

"Y-Yes..."

"Well, you can prepare to fight him. Since Yza isn't anywhere to be found, you have possibly months to train your body for this moment."

"There's.. one problem... though." Zeon wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. "It's not Yza he wants to hurt. It's me. Kakusei hates me. For good reason too."

"What? Hurt you? The fuck did you do to him?"

"In his eyes, I'm the one in his way. Since Yza isn't anywhere to be found, Kakusei doesn't care since he thinks he can get Rukia to end that "loveless" relationship easily. He's a smooth talker; a charmer. Me on the other hand... Kakusei's jealous. He's jealous that I spend more time with Rukia than him, and because of that, I'm "in his way". He's always beaten up anyone that was in his way. So... put two and two together, and I'm on his hit list."

"So that's why you don't want to carry a weapon... it's impractical if he gets the jump on you first. You want to know how to kill someone with your bare hands if this situation ever springs up."

"Yeah... that's... basically it."

"Talk about 4D big brain chess."

"So... can you help me?"

"I can help you solve this in a non-violent way. I've already said it before. I'm no good with hand to hand combat. Besides, you've got a future-"

"Stop saying that. I don't have a future. I don't care if I rot in a jail cell. I don't care if I'm dead. I'm only living for Rukia's sake. Without her, my life is meaningless." Zeon lowered his head.

"That's a toxic mentality. You can't live for someone else completely. It's almost impossible to. You need to satisfy your own needs too. But there's a limit to it. I satisfied my own needs, and look where it ended me. You can still change your fate." Callum clicked his tongue. "Look at me in the eyes. Stop running away from the truth."

"I'm not running away... I'm just..."

"Stop running away."

"I told you, I'm not!"

"Then look at me. In the eyes."

Zeon reluctantly glanced at Callum's steely cold glare.

"The scent of fear... the irises of anxiety... so you are scared of ending up becoming someone like me, aren't ya? I don't blame you. At least you can still feel those human emotions. That's the most important thing. Don't lose your humanity. Don't get lost in your vengeance. Don't get lost in the maze of hatred. The consequences of blind rage weigh far greater than the kick of joy that lasts barely seconds. You'll spend every damn moment of the rest of your life regretting killing him if you go through with it. Instead, just talk to him. If he won't listen to reason, tell Rukia. Let her cut him out of her life naturally. If he targets you, then go move somewhere far away. There's a solution that doesn't rely on mindless murder."

Zeon looked down into his lap, huffing and puffing. Sweat trickled down onto his shaking hands as he slammed his forehead against the desk. He hiccuped, feeling despair latch onto the back of his throat. A black devil hung off the pink fruit dangling in the back of his mouth.

He shivered, his face draining of any colour. His frown contorted to a forced smile, teeth crookedly showing. His tongue was dyed in frozen ice. His hunched back crackled, an electric shiver running down his spine. His silent heartbeat hastened as he listened to Callum.

"Did I change your mind at all?"

Zeon raised his head off the table, tasting blood clotting on his lips.

"I... yes."

"Don't fall for that voice in your head telling you to kill. You're in control of yourself. No one else."

Zeon stood up, sliding his chair back into place. He exited the room, walking in a daze. Callum watched, shaking his head.

"Did I really help...?"

"I think you've changed his mind. Just a little bit." Ayato said. "Zeon is one of my friends. To hear that side of him... the side boiling with agony... I feel so bad. I want to help, but I wouldn't know how. I wouldn't know what to say in that situation except "sorry". But you... you're a natural at this! You were able to discuss his feelings almost perfectly. You made him open up to you about something personal despite being mostly strangers. Since you were a killer, you could also relate and teach a lesson... that was really sweet of you, Callum."

"Heh. Save the sappy stuff for another day. That entire conversation was so unlike me." Callum stood up, kicked the chair under the table and waddled to the door. "Hurry up. I want to go to my cell and sleep."

"Don't forget to wake up for dinner time. Fried chicken's on the menu."

"Mans'll be there at the 8'o clock sharp fam, don't mans worry about that ting."

(Ending here)

Next time on Z World:

#62: Searching for Answers

Yza: Rukia... I'm going to get... trapped under... him...!

================================

A/N

Oh what, Z World is back? Just before the decade ends?

Damn right it is. December's gonna be a hectic month because the Z World train isn't stopping at all. 3 chapters are going to get kicked in your face before the decade ends, marking the end of volume 9 and the start of volume 10, just in time for the New Years!

In favour for busting the chapters out quickly, the chapters will be released at any time. Sorry for no schedule, but waiting on a chapter isn't possible anymore. As a result, these 3 chapters may be revisited and edited if I change my mind about something, since I'm in "write as much of the plot as you can" mode.

If I do change anything, I'll tell you guys. But generally, I do publish minor edits here and there for all my works, so be sure to refresh/re-add the book to your library to see anything new I added.

This chapter focuses on Yozora's inner monologue and Callum's and Zeon's conversation. I hope you all enjoyed Callum's return, where he's more mature and wise, rather than reckless and immature. The parallels between Callum and Zeon are quite surprising... which is why I paired them together to have this talk.

Of course, 62 is going to lead on from Yozora's broken mind-state. He'll be visiting a certain girl and asking just who's this person everyone says he is, and why was he so important to them. Forgive me for making monologues that foreshadow the following chapter, but I'm currently in the midst of solving it.

By the way, that last line is in honour to the man, the myth, the legend, John Grassfields. Live on my guy.

Anyways, this A/N is getting lengthy and I gotta write 62.

That's all, Fox out!