Something changed after one cop gently strokes my shoulder. She tried to calm me down. Something snapped . Before I knew it, I took  the knife from the floor and stabbed the hand of the woman who touched me. She screams while I laugh at her pain.
I believe that something is wrong with me, I don't know what or how, I just know it. I mean I just stabbed someone's hand... . My gaze went straight to the other officer who slowly backed away. I can see myself in the mirror reflection. The terrifying stare and the blood thirsty eyes hypnotize me... I like this look. It's like I am ready to kill anyone that gets in my way.

The officers who were supposed to save me and my mother just brought me to someone to check up on me. Turns out they left before they got the results. They wanted to get rid of me. I am also tied up so I won't hurt anyone. The doctors ran a few tests and asked me many questions. I was told that I got trauma and a few other things. I can't remember exactly, but something about being unable to say what's right and what's wrong. Since there are a few things that aren't right with me, I am being sent to a psychiatry.

It isn't that bad here. I get my own room. Thanks to the male who said I would put other people in danger.
I'm not allowed to leave the room by myself and I also can't have visitors. I doubt that there would be anyone who would want to visit. The only family I have left is my grandpa and let's say it like this he didn't like my mother that much.
However, the room is mainly white. There are just a few silver details. I spend a week in this room and it's sooooo boring! Learning how to write and such things are so boring... Why did I have to stab this lady? Could have waited till I'm an adult...

I enjoy the meals that I get. Two meals per day should be enough, right? The people who bring me the food always change. They don't want me to get used to a person or a person getting attached to me.
This would only bring problems they say... Bullshit.
When I have to go to bed, I get a few pills. If I don't take them I get an injection. My room is always watched. There are cameras in every corner and guards are waiting outside the room. One always comes along when someone enters the room. So annoying! How am I supposed to get out of here? I don't even get therapy!?

It's 8 pm and I am waiting for the doctors to bring me my pills. 15 minutes later they still haven't come... 'that's weird... They usually are always on time? Maybe they don't have anyone who would go this time? Who knows'  I sit boredly on my bed and watch the time pass by. The clock shows me that it's already 9pm... 'Looks like they won't come today' I shrug and lie down in this uncomfortable bed.

My sleep was haunted by nightmares and memories of my mother. How annoying... What day is it? I believe it's monday. A man that wears a cross as a necklace. A Christian?
Besides that, he wears the regular uniform for therapists and doctors,a plain white smock. A woman follows him and looks at me for a moment before she turns her head to the male infront of me.
He looks at me with a disappointed face. "He is haunted by the devil himself... He can't decide between dream and reality" he says to the woman. She looks at me and grins.
"then let us show him reality"
'What!?' I don't understand what they are talking about! What do they mean with dream and reality and why would I be haunted by the devil?! The woman winks with her hand and a guard grabs my arm.
He drags me outside the white room, my only safe space for the past week.

I struggle as much as I can but it doesn't affect him one bit. He only tightens his grip on me. 'I should just cooperate' . After a walk that felt like hours we finally stopped. Infront of a door. The door is bigger than any other door if seen so far.. Maybe they don't want the patients to grab onto the wall to restrain themselves from going inside. What a silly thought. Like this would actually happen? The guard opens the door and pushes me inside . As soon as I am inside he shuts the door. I could here the door lock closing. That's never a good sign..
"Hello? M/n? Could you sit down on the chair?" that woman I met before said. I could tell from her voice that she is enjoying this.
Hesitantly I step forward to the chair in the middle of the room. 'This room gives me the chills!' I thought while slowly sitting down.
Suddenly me arms get pinned to the chair. 'What?'
A few seconds pass. Until I feel a sharp pain crawling underneath my skin. I feel like I burn from inside! My head starts to feel dizzy and I scream in pain. The pain faded but I can still feel it! A laugh reaches my ear. "Can you tell us about reality now or should we continue?"
I can't and I won't answer her.
The pain comes back but this time it's worse! The tears that dried a few seconds before now start streaming again. 'What did I do?!'
Suddenly a picture fades into my vision. It's an older version of me laughing together with my mom...

This was the first time of them trying to ^help^ me. It only got worse from there on.

It has been 5 years since I came to this hell hole. Speaking became harder due to the constant screaming and lack of breath. I may have been getting a few infections.
The torture just got boring with time. They use electro shocks, waterboarding, beating, infecting me with sicknesses that could kill me or just telling how God can free me to make me remember.
I have to prepare for tomorrow . I heard Bitchy talking about an other way to get me to remember and see things. They want to give me some drugs that weren't tested yet.
Btw Bitchy is the so called therapist who wants to make me go insane.
(If you're still confused, I mean the evil woman from the beginning, I was to lazy to give her a real name)

They gave me the drugs around 10 am and it's now like 5 pm. Shouldn't the drug  be subsided by now? Then why are there still these whispers in my head? Am I finally going crazy? Nah snap out of it m/n! You ain't doing what Bitchy wants! Get your shit together! >>you should run <<
>>kill them! <<  >>show them your true power <<
Ugh! You're getting annoying! Can some tell me why it's so hard to look straight? I can't read the clock..
Oh right, the drugs.. I really would love to hear what they gave me. This shit is strong. Maybe I should try to sleep.

I lie down and try to rest my thoughts. While closing my eyes I turn around and face the wall. 'and now just.. -' my thoughts are interrupted rudly by some guy who just kicked the door open. He lets the door slame against the wall.
"How rude" I mouth(?) .
He just grabs my arm and drags me out. I won't fight back, I got used to this. And they got used to me doing bullshit without complaining about it. What a nice symbiotic Living. They get what they want and I can't talk back.

Wow, I'm already 16... Who thought I would make it so far? I mean when I was 14 they injected some f/c sticky liquid into my brain! They said I had the perfect condition for it.. How am I not going insane. I sigh and sit down at my desk. Every day is the same practicing writing and reading for 2 hours, doing math an other hour, doing a little workout and ending up getting tortured. But if I do well at writing I get a little less beating, isn't that nice? However, it's really strange that they want us to have atleast a little education. "Hey! -" "psst! It might be sleeping! Don't wake it up!" a femal hushes the male. 'oh! Now I'm an it?!' how rude of them. I might be mute but that doesn't mean I am deaf too! "Oh... You mean 87? It is really... terrefying" he whispers the last part. "Why? He is the most normal looking test object here?"
"That's the catch! He has been here for years! How come there aren't any physical or psychical damages ? Doesn't he get torture every day?"
"You do have a point..."
"But let's go to something else, today is this big meeting and everyone will be there! Even the guards. They said something about a new security system" the male says excited. 'A new security system? Sounds funny and expensive' bad thoughts get into my head again.
"But what about the dangerous ones?" the femal asks worried since something bad could happen.
"They are staying in their ^cages^"
"How many guards will be in front of their ^cages^" she still has this fearful tone in her voice.
"Let's talk somewhere else... I don't want to risk that some might try to escape. ".
With that said they leave the hallway and go into a seperet room so I couldn't hear anything. I wanted to know more!

When I woke up in the morning of the next day I was excited. Today is the day! I will try to run away from here. I don't know where I am or where I can go, I just know that I have to leave.'How many guards are out there?'. I listen for a while until I heard the breathing and talking from outside the room. Alright! There are two people infront of the room and they haven't left for 15 minutes which means that there are 2 security guards in front of this room.' I can do that!' I encourage myself. I've been planing this since yesterday. It's a risky plan but I can do that. I walk to the door as calm as I can pretend to be. I gently knock three times. Nothing. Again, I knock three times. This time I use more force. A annoyed sigh from the other side. "What!?"
The voice screams. I can't tell if it belongs to a man or woman. That doesn't matter. I knock again now only two times. They ignore it. Again. Nothing... Now I only knock one time with all my force. A dent is made where I hit. They insecure(?) there weapons and slowly open the door. 'That's my chance'.
Before they could react I jump at them grab one of the weapons and point it at the one without a weapon. I smirk 'what will you do now? Mhm?'

Pointing the guns at each other we slowly walk to the door out. I've been here a couple times before. There were always people going out and in. I shoot the arm with which he holds his gun. The other is shocked when I point at him. I pull the trigger and shoot his head. I let the weapon slide into a shirt which I use as a bag. The entrance is right in front of me but someone steps into my way. Bitchy? Wtf is she doing here? She sees my confused face and points at a camera "did you forget that we watch you all the time?" her smile is sadistic. I don't think twice about my next move and somehow break her neck. I run to the door ready to break it down but luckily it wasn't locked. I run as fast as my feet can carry me into the deep and dark forest that surrenders the so called psychiatry.

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2049 words

HI! I know it took me a while to finish this but I hope you can forgive me for this. Please?
However I have a few... problems at home and in school right now so I don't think that there will be an update any time soon... Sorry..

Bey~
Haru~