C H A P T E R   1 3

❛ the hard way ❜

QUINN

     WHEN SHE WOKE THE NEXT MORNING, she'd slept better than she had in weeks. With Daryl's arms wrapped around her, she felt safe enough to sleep peacefully. No nightmares, no reliving things she rather didn't remember, just a blissful nothingness. She wondered how she'd ever managed to sleep without his calming presence next to her because it didn't seem like she could ever do so again.

For a moment she simply lay there. Enjoying the feeling of his chest rising and falling against her back. But the sun was persistent in trying to wake her and forced her out of her comfortable state of bliss. With narrowed eyes against the light that came falling through the window she threw a look at the alarm on the nightstand. Apparently she'd needed a good night's rest because it was nearly eleven...

"Figured I'd let you sleep," Daryl's hoarse morning voice mumbled.

Her heart jumped in her chest. "Fuck!" Slowly she turned around, her heart fluttering in her chest upon seeing the satisfied smirk on his face. "Good morning to you too."

He grinned before placing a featherlight kiss on the tip of her nose. "Mornin'."

"I'm assuming you don't have any plans for the day if you let me sleep in this long," she mocked, though it was only to hide her worry for him. Normally he was awake before dawn and she'd often woken up alone. The fact that he'd stayed in bed this long said enough about his body needing to heal as well...

"I was thinking bout headin' back to Hilltop," he said. If he'd noticed her attempt to cover up her worries, he didn't comment on it.

She frowned at him. "You sure that's such a good idea? They could still be looking for us."

"Maybe but we ain't gettin' shit done staying here," he replied. "That King guy won't change his mind."

"No, he won't," she sighed, remembering her conversations with Ezekiel from the day before. He was as convinced of his perspective as she was of hers. "Okay, I'll go with you. We got lots to do before we're ready to take them on."

She reached up to brush his hair out his face but winced when the wound in her thigh ached as she moved. Slowly she dropped her hand again, sighing deeply. She hated how she kept forgetting she was wounded. It was taking forever to heal, at least, that's what it felt like.

"You okay?" Daryl asked, immediately looking worried.

"Yeah, it's just-" she gestured at her wound. "Getting shot is my new talent it would seem."

"That ain't funny."

"It was kind of funny."

He scoffed, shaking his head but at least she'd managed to bring his smile back. His eyes went to her thigh. Can I?" He asked, voice soft as though he was afraid to ask. But she knew why he did. The only time he'd ever seen it was when she lay bleeding on the ground, slowly losing consciousness. Imagining in your head how it might look now was way worse than knowing the truth.

She nodded, carefully lifting up her shirt to reveal the bandage. She reached for it, wincing slightly when she pulled it off. Revealing the stitches that ran across her skin like a gap cleaving the earth. Another reminder of her time spent in the Sanctuary, one that she wouldn't ever get to leave behind...

Carefully Daryl reached out, tracing her skin with his fingers, leaving chills all over her body.

His eyes searched for hers and seemed to guess her thoughts without her ever even having to speak them out loud. He leaned down and left a soft kiss on the stitches, telling her without words that her scars did not determine her worth. Slowly he made his way up, leaving a trail of kisses across her stomach, her chest, her neck, drawing a soft sigh from her lips.

It felt as though her entire body was set on fire, flames touching her skin wherever he went. Until she was burning so brightly she couldn't take it anymore. And like he'd felt that very same fire burning within him, he placed his lips on hers and she answered immediately. Lips devouring each other as if they were starved.

She tangled her fingers in his hair as his hands held her hips, careful not to touch her wound. Completely lost in each other. Two pieces of a whole, fitting perfectly into each other.

As her hands pulled at his shirt however, he backed away, crawling away from her until he was seated on the opposite side of the bed. She froze, feeling the absence of him like an open wound. She knew about the scars on his back but he'd always been careful not to show them to her. Always sleeping with his shirt on, only getting dressed when she wasn't looking, or making sure she couldn't see his back when he did. It was strange to her though, why he could accept her scars but not his own.

"Hey, it's okay," she said, reaching for his hand, letting out a small breath of relief when he let her take it. She'd feared he would withdraw completely. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."

He nodded, suddenly unable to look at her.

Carefully she moved over to him, placing her hand on his cheek, her fingers caressing his cheek. "I just want you to know I won't think any less of you because of a few scars. Just like you didn't think any less of me."

He looked torn, the old habit of shutting down and protecting himself almost too strong to resist. But then he finally lifted his eyes, meeting hers and old habits were broken. They'd both worked too hard to break through those walls together to start rebuilding them now.

"They ain't pretty," he muttered.

A reassuring smile appeared on her features. "They don't have to be. They're signs you survived and surviving isn't always pretty."

As she spoke the blue of his eyes seemed to grow even darker, like a night sky filled with stars. Chills broke out all over her skin as she held his gaze. They moved at the same time, lips meeting once again and they were set ablaze.

He gathered her on his lap, his arms holding her tightly. While she wrapped hers around his shoulders. She needed him closer, wanting to crush every bit of space lingering between them. His lips went down her neck again as his hands were all over her thighs. Before he made his way back to her mouth, painfully slow, too slow...

Daryl grinned, as if he could feel her impatience. She hardly cared, pulling his lips back on hers.

"We gotta go if we wanna reach Hilltop before dark," he muttered against her lips.

"Shut up," she breathed.

She could feel his smirk against her lips but he didn't protest as she let her hands explore his shoulders and his back. This time he didn't even so much as tense. The walls had been broken down completely, shattered into tiny little pieces so they would never be rebuilt again. They belonged together, they always had and too much time had been wasted by pretending like they didn't. Quinn wasn't planning on ever wasting any more time. Besides, this could very well be the last time they were truly alone if everything went according to plan....

"Quinn?"

"I know," she sighed, leaning away from him. It seemed like no matter how hard they tried to shut the world out, life would always catch up with them. "I hate you."

A small smirk tugged at his lips. "Nah, you don't."

"I definitely do." Without so much as another look at him, she made her way out of bed and grabbed her jeans and put them on.

He came up from behind her, pressing another kiss to her neck. "Liar," he muttered.

With a playful grin on her lips she stepped away from him, even though everything within her was screaming to pull him closer. "No time for that, remember? We gotta reach Hilltop before dark." Her grin grew wider as she watched him shake his head at her with faked disappointment.

The two of them managed to get dressed without providing each other with any further distractions, which Quinn was actually quite proud of all things considered. And then made their way downstairs to get some breakfast. She'd hoped the cafeteria would be mostly empty at this hour but of course none other than the King himself had to be seated at one of the tables, almost as if he'd been waiting for them.

"Goodmorning, I trust you slept well?" He questioned, though Quinn couldn't help but pick up a teasing tone beneath his courtesy. She didn't like the way his eyes suggestively looked between the two of them and his lips were curled up in a teasing smile. She supposed it was simply payback for her mocking him yesterday.

"We did, actually," she replied, deciding to play along with a suggestive raise of her eyebrows.

Daryl shifted uncomfortably beside her, clearly having noticed the unspoken suggestion of their night's activities. He mumbled something about getting food before quickly walking away from the two of them.

Ezekiel's smile grew warmer then, all the playfulness suddenly gone. "I'm glad to see you smiling again."

She tried to hide her surprise at that statement. Had her troubles been written so clearly on her face yesterday? She'd already come to the conclusion she could impossibly hide her feelings for Daryl. So maybe Ezekiel had figured out all by himself that there'd been some trouble in paradise. But that was all over now and the fact that she could barely stop smiling was more than enough for their host to put the pieces together.

Her discomfort didn't go unnoticed and so she was glad when the King decided to change the subject. "Have you given any more thought to teaching a dance class during your stay?"

"Actually Daryl and I decided to go back to Hilltop, to help our family." It was strange to her how she was truly saddened by the fact that she wouldn't get to use her old talents again, even if only for a lesson.

"Ah, I see." Ezekiel nodded. Then he extended his hand to her. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Quinn Morales."

She smiled at him and shook his hand. "Same to you, your majesty." She actually managed to say the title with respect this time, progress.

"Let me prepare some food for on the road," he said and walked away with one last warm smile at her.

Just then Daryl returned, as though he'd been waiting for Ezekiel to leave. He was holding two plates and nodded with his head at one of the empty tables. Quinn followed, trying her hardest to suppress a grin.

"What'd he want?" Daryl asked while chewing his bread.

Quinn, by now unfazed at the sight of his eating habits, shrugged. "He asked if I wanted to teach a dance class when I told him I used to do ballet."

Daryl raised his eyebrows at her, as if silently suggesting the King was insane.

"I told him maybe when times are better. Besides, we're heading back to Hilltop so it's not like there's any time."

He leaned back in his chair, studying her. "But ya want to."

It shouldn't surprise her anymore that he could read her thoughts as though they were written on her forehead, still her heart jumped nervously in her chest at hearing his observation. "Yeah," she muttered.

"Ain't no other choice for us than to come back here then, is there?"

She looked up at him and felt her stomach flip at the warmth that flickered in his eyes. "I guess not," she agreed, smiling softly.

They finished their breakfast and after washing their plates, they made their way towards the gates. Ezekiel and Morgan were waiting for them there and despite their differences, Quinn didn't like having to leave Morgan behind once again. Or Ezekiel for that matter. Somehow the extravagant King had grown on her.

"For your journey," Ezekiel said as he handed them a backpack.

It was filled with food, bottles of water and even a map.

"And I believe this could be of use as well," he added as he handed both of them a gun and a knife. "Though Richard has already gifted you your weapon of choice."

Quinn eyed the crossbow hanging on Daryl's shoulder. She was glad to see him with his familiar weapon once again. Dwight hadn't just locked him up and tortured him, he'd stolen his entire identity by using his bow, his motorcycle, and his angel-winged vest. By taking those things back, Daryl could start to slowly rebuild himself.

"Safe travels," Ezekiel said with a warm smile. "I hope one day your paths will lead you to the Kingdom once again."

Quinn returned the smile with a nod and then turned to Morgan. "I hope you can find some rest here," she said, meaning it. If the Kingdom would survive this war, it might just be the right haven for those like Morgan. Those too scarred by the world to be able to bear the weight of another war.

Morgan nodded. "I hope you can find some rest as well, truly."

She pulled him into a quick hug before finally stepping through the gates. With Daryl beside her, she left the Kingdom behind, facing the dangers of the world head on once again. However, she couldn't help but throw a look over her shoulder and watch as Ezekiel and Morgan were taken from her sight as the gates closed. She couldn't help but feel like some sort of respite before shit would hit the fence had ended.

A sigh left her mouth as she turned back forward, reaching for Daryl's hand and tangling her fingers through his. Holding him grounded her as the gravity of what they were heading towards slowly started to pull her down.

"Do you think we'll win without the Kingdom?" She questioned, unable to help but feel slightly guilty for not being able to convince the King to fight with them. "Even with Oceanside we're still outnumbered."

He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as he considered his answer. "We gotta try, even if we lose." He turned to look at her then, a hint of curiosity written on his face. "How'd you find Oceanside anyway?"

She took a deep breath as she recalled the hazy memories of their escape out of the Sanctuary. Most of it felt like a dream, no, a nightmare. "After we got out we just ran. I think Nick had a car parked somewhere. I don't remember much of it."

Daryl tensed beside her, the memory of her getting shot as painful as if he'd been shot himself.

She squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him, before telling the rest of the story. Waking up in the hut, being found by the patrol, her troubles with getting Natania to trust her and finally how she managed to convince Cyndie to fight with them. When she was done she couldn't help but notice the small smile lingering on Daryl's face.

"What?" She chuckled.

He shrugged. "Aaron was right, yer good out here."

A teasing smirk appeared on her face. "Is that your strange way of saying you're proud of me?"

The tips of his ears turned bright red, and suddenly he was unable to look at her.

She came to a halt in the middle of the road, pulling at his hand so his body turned to hers, forcing him to look at her. "I'm proud of you too. I'm proud of both of us." And she meant it. She was proud of how far they'd both come, of how much they'd grown together and worked at tearing down their walls and toxic habits. She loved Daryl, including all of his flaws and scars. And her love for him had only grown stronger once she saw how hard he was working towards bettering himself, to be the best version he could possibly be. It inspired her to do the same...

He smiled at her, still a little uncomfortable but far less than he'd been before.

Standing on the tip of her toes, she pressed a quick kiss against his lips.

"Come on," she muttered, pulling him along as they continued on their way.

She was glad for Daryl's amazing sense of direction, and the fact that he'd paid attention during their trip from the Hilltop to the Kingdom, otherwise she had to use the map Ezekiel had given her. And despite being perfectly able to find Alexandria on a map, Hilltop was a little bit tricker since her sense of direction simply wasn't the best.

They followed the roads, despite the possible danger of running into either the Saviors or Walkers. But it would simply take too much time to make the trip through the woods and it was late in the afternoon already. They were both perfectly capable of surviving a night outside the walls but they both needed their rest to further heal as well. And Quinn wasn't sure she'd be able to stay awake to keep watch during the night. Meaning if it was possible to reach Hilltop before dark, they were going to try to do so.

Just as they turned the corner of a road, the familiar haunting moans of several walkers reached them. Up ahead a group of five walkers were stumbling around in the middle of the road. It was too late to try and go around them, because they'd already caught wind of their smell. Stumbling forward with outstretched arms, reaching for a possible next meal.

Quinn reached for her knife while Daryl shrugged his crossbow from his shoulders. They walked together, perfectly in sync, knowing exactly what to do. Quinn went to the left, while Daryl aimed his crossbow at one on the right.

She pushed the outstretched hands of the walker aside and plunged her knife into its skull. Its body dropped to the ground and she stepped over it to reach the second walker. She lifted her leg, kicking it in the chest so it stumbled backwards and dropped to the ground. Her wounded thigh ached at the movement but she ignored it. She leaned down and pushed her knife through its eye, wincing when blood painted her skin red.

When she stood up straight again, the last remaining walker was just making its way towards her. She took her knife by the blade, drew back her arm and released the blade, watching as it twirled end over end and found its target right in the walker's forehead. Exactly at the same time as an arrow hit it from behind.

She raised a brow at Daryl. "I had it."

"So did I," he said as he retrieved his arrows.

She shook her head at him as she pulled the knife free and cleaned it with the walker's clothes. "I missed this you know," she said as they left the corpses behind and walked on.

"Killing walkers?" Daryl asked with a raised brow.

She scoffed. "No, just the two of us out on the road. It's nice."

"Mmm," he agreed with a nod.

"We should take a vacation when this is over," she said, the idea coming to her suddenly.

"The hell you talking about?"

"Well, I remember a certain drinking game during which you said you've never been on vacation before. So, when this war is over and we're still alive. How about we just get on your bike and go."

The more she thought about it, the more she truly wanted to do it. No matter how insane and dangerous it sounded with the way the world was now. But she trusted their capabilities. They could just go as far as they wanted to and only turn back when they felt like it. It would be nice to get away from all of it for a while...

She watched him closely as he considered it but with the way his eyes sparked, she already knew what his answer was going to be.

"I'd like that."

She grinned, taking a hold of his hand once again, relishing in the happiness the idea had awoken within her. It was nice to think of something other than the fight awaiting them as soon as they'd reach Hilltop.

They spend the next hour talking about possible places they could go, even though they both knew it was only a dream at this point. But it was the very fact they had the option to do it, without being held back by small and dark cages, that fueled their hearts with a desire to dream about it. And when finally the walls of Hilltop came into their view, Quinn wished they could've left at this very moment. But their family needed them and she refused to leave before Negan was dead.

The plan that'd been slowly forming in the back of her head for a couple of days now, came back in full force as soon as they stepped through the gates. She knew Daryl would never agree and would only try to stop her, and he'd be right to do so. But to hide it from him made her heart ache. She couldn't do it alone but she couldn't ask for his help either. And after the blissful haven they'd just left behind, she hated leaving him behind even more.

Maggie came walking up to them as the gates were closed behind them. The sight of her alone was enough for Daryl to drop Quinn's hand and make a straight line towards Barrington House, all without so much as a look at the widow.

A small sigh left Quinn's lips as both she and Maggie watched him go with saddened eyes.

Maggie managed to gather herself first. "I thought the plan was to stay in the Kingdom?"

"It was but when we realized we couldn't convince Ezekiel to change his mind we decided we'd be more useful here."

The smallest of smiles appeared on her face. "I appreciate that."

Quinn nodded with a reassuring smile. "Do you know where I can find Milo?"

"I last saw him in the graveyard," Maggie said, her smile instantly failing. "It's, eh, behind that trailer." She pointed in the direction.

"Thank you," Quinn said softly. She took a step forward and embraced Maggie, holding her tightly for a moment, hoping to provide her with what little comfort she could. Finally she let go and with one last smile she walked away.

When she walked around the trailer however, it wasn't Milo seated besides the graves. Instead she saw Sasha and Rosita standing there.

"Hey," she greeted softly while desperately trying not to look at the ground. She feared she might burst out crying if she did.

"Hey," Sasha said as she got to her feet.

Rosita turned around to face her and only then did Quinn notice the huge black backpack she was carrying.

"What are you doing here?" Quinn asked.

"I came to help train the people of Hilltop," Rosita said.

Quinn frowned as she looked between the two women and only then did she notice the tension that lingered in the air. And slowly the pieces fell into place.

"No you're not. You're going to kill him," she said, not even bothering to phrase it as a question.

Rosita raised her head in defiance. "And what about it?"

"Don't worry, I won't stop you." She took a deep breath, it seemed she had found the right people to go through with her plan after all. "I want in."

Sasha raised her eyebrows. "You sure about that?"

"I'm the only one of us who's been inside the Sanctuary before. Nick told me about the schedule of the guards. I want in."

"Okay," Sasha nodded. "One condition. I get to take the shot."

Rosita and Quinn shared a look and nodded then. Quinn hardly cared who got to kill Negan, as long as he ended up dead and buried she would be content. And Rosita seemed to think the same thing. "Okay," she said as she lowered the backpack from her shoulder and started to unpack it.

Quinn watched with wide eyes as she took out an R700, a rifle with a deadly persize scope attached. She wasn't even sure she could use such a weapon properly, guns weren't her strength. But if Quinn had to trust anyone with it, it was Sasha.

"So you can take your shot," Rosita said, gesturing at the weapon. "Rick and Michonne found guns."

"But they aren't ready to move," Sasha guessed.

"They can't," Rosita said bitterly. "They need more time to make a plan, more excuses."

Quinn crossed her arms over her chest. "If we do this, our family lives. We end it before it even begins." Which was the most important reason she wanted to go through with it. If she could save Milo, Rick, Michonne, Daryl...she wouldn't hesitate to take that chance.

"I'm ready to kill him," Sasha said. "But I need to make sure you both know what this means."

"Do you?" Rosita fired back.

"They can't catch us alive. If they do, we give them something."

"A one-way ticket for all of us," Quinn said, looking between the two women. She wasn't close with either of them, but she trusted them both with her entire heart. After all they'd been through, she was convinced they could make it through this last part of their journey as well. It seemed like her vacation was going to have to wait.

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

So much Daryl and Quinn in this chapter which made me so happy to write it! Also, writing the opening scene while I was listening to "Dusk till dawn"...Too many feelings guys.

That scene was meant to go in the previous chapter. But as I was writing it I decided to put it in this one instead. It felt like I was taking away from the emotional and very important talk between them if I were to add the more smutty stuff after that. So I decided to break it up into two chapters. It feels much better that way!

But then it all went downhill of course, because we just can't have good things in twd. Quinn is one stubborn ass girl and thinks she can safe the world all on her own (or likes to believe she can at least try so Daryl doesn't get any more hurt). This arc is one my favorites for her and I'm so excited to get into it. I've been planning this for a while and leaving hints that this was what she was going to do, so I'm really happy to finally write the pay-off hehe.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments!

xx Nelly