AAAAAAAHHGHHHhahahahaha!!!
We are BACK IN BUSINESS, baby!

...First off I'd like to sincerely apologize for disappearing for like a solid year. That really sucked (more on that later). For now all that matters is I'm BACK in Crazy Mario Land and I brought a new story!!
This must be the year for reader gratification, because after many long months of asking and asking, it is here!
So yes, I have been continually asked by SEVERAL people to have an episode that includes the Rabbids (yes, I'm looking at YOU people, if you're still alive). So here we finally are!
And to those many people who hate/dislike the Raving Rabbids, hear me out: you know me, and how in Crazy Mario Land we strive to provide good, classic family entertainment. (*Shoulders chainsaw.*) And I'm just telling you now, if any one game ever came close to the hilarious Craziness of Crazy Mario Land, it's Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle.
And for you who don't know who the Rabbids are... they're, y'know, the white, pear-shaped... rabbits. Who scream BWAHH a lot. Kind of like Waluigi, actually.
Anyway, that was way too long and distracting! On with the Crazy!

One Mushroom Kingdom day, kind of outside the realm of 'normality'...
Bowser was happily eating a giant roast turkey leg. ('Nuff said.)
He was just about to take the biggest, best bite ever when suddenly Mario appeared in his face like an ugly barnacle.
"RESPECT THE MEAT!" he hollered at him.
Bowser screamed and swung the leg like a baseball bat, sending Mario flying through the wall like in a nutcase's crazy dream. Then he resumed eating it without batting an eye.
(Yes, we just started the story that way.)
Unfortunately, Mario popped up beside him two seconds later. "HEY-
Bowser screamed and swung his turkey leg again, but this time Mario ducked.
"Why are you bothering me??" Bowser asked like it was a perfectly typical thing.
"Because it's a special day!" Mario replied like it was obvious.
"I don't know what exactly you're implying, but if it's a special day go celebrate it with your dad or something," Bowser replied, turning back to his dinner.
Behind his back, Mario made a creepy face of smugness. "No, Bowser. You are my father!"
Terrifying music of doom played as Bowser froze and shot up, turkey leg long forgotten.
"No, that's... that's not true!! THATS IMPOSSIBLE!!!"
Mario gave him an odd look. "What's not true?"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Breathing heavily from his minor heart attack, Bowser glanced around and suddenly found himself in his own bedroom, in his own giant bed, in his own castle. Bowser Jr. sat there on his feet with an odd look on his face.
"What's impossible?" he asked.
Bowser stared at him, still sweating visibly from his nightmare.
Ha! You thought that was real! (...Can't say I blame you.)
"Oh... nothing, nothing," Bowser assured him. "Daddy was just having a... a scary dream... Were you watching me sleep?"
"Well, yeah... because it's a special day, Daddy! Don't tell me you forgot! Remember what day it is!!"
Bowser tried to remember but his memory was too frazzled from the dream. "Uhh... national turkey leg day?" he suggested.
"No, Daddy! It's my birthday!" Bowser Jr bounced up and down, the common method used for dragging parents out of bed. "And you said it would be the best one ever!"
Bowser's eyes popped. (It was at this moment he realized he messed up, big time.)
You see, Bowser had been planning to plan Junior the best birthday ever, he really had. It was just that he unexpectedly got really hooked into watching the entire five seasons of 'The Blubbening' last week and totally disregarded the fact that he had other important things to do. So fast forward, and Bowser once again looks like the 'busted dad' meme.
"Uuuhh... sure Junior! Just give me a second to make a super important phone call!"
Then he sped away so fast that Sonic would be jealous... somehow.

Meanwhile, at the bros' house...

It was Mario's favorite morning of the week: biscotti day. That meant Luigi had to get up a whole hour earlier to make Mario's favorite Italian breakfast that would all be gone in less than ten minutes.
Now usually, Mario was too bouncy to actually help, like he was today. So he was standing at Luigi's elbow, telling him how to do everything and bouncing like an infant girl, when the phone rang.
"Mario, could you be super and get that?" Luigi asked, glad for the distraction.
"Don't be ridiculous," Mario replied, going to fetch it. "I'm-a ALWAYS super!"
Luigi rolled his eyes and mimicked him silently while Mario answered it.
"Heeeeello!"
"Mario, good!" Bowser answered. "I was hoping this number would work."
Mario looked around quickly and grabbed a glass of water. He took a big gulp, then spewed it all out like a geyser in springtime.
"Bowser??! What in the worlds do YOU want??"
"Shut it and wipe that stupid look off your face," Bowser growled into the phone. "This is important, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this!"
"How do you know I've got a stupid look?"
"Because you always have a stupid look," Bowser replied.
Mario's eye twitched. "Ever heard of me chucking you into a pit of lava?"
"Alright, shut it and listen, Shorty! I need your almighty influence to conjure up some miracles!"
"Ehh... miracles?"
"Yes, miracles! Junior's birthday is today and I need you to hold something extra special just for him!"
"Whoa, Bowser Jr's birthday is today? What date is it?" Mario asked.
"Idiot, that's classified information from Nintendo," Bowser replied. "I can't disclose the date!"
"Oh... well, how old is he turning?"
"Classified!!"
"Oh... well, what does it have to do with me? He's YOUR kid, and clearly not descended from either me OR the princess." Mario gave the phone a smug look. "So if you're being an incompetent dad, I guess you'll have to just take a class for that!"
"I swear if you don't help me I'll come over there and REARRANGE YOUR FACE!!"
"I'm completely planning on helping you, I just wanna mess with you more," Mario replied. "So yeah, I've been freshening up on biology. Is Bowser Jr a hybrid? Or did you just kind of -
"Enough!! If you're going to help me and consequently save your face from a redesign, start talking."
"Alright alright, don't get your horns in a knot," Mario replied. "So what do you want?"
"Well," Bowser said thoughtfully, "I was just hoping you could hold something extra special, like one of those parties or a sports tournament or something. ...Hockey! He loves hockey."

Blue Toad: Hockey... that one sport that takes an innocent puck and turns it into a weapon of mass destruction and bitter angst, pitting best friends to choose sides in a great turf war that will soon turn them to mortal enemies, all while each army suffers intense losses from concussions, frostbite and injured egos.

Peach: I think you're being a little over dramatic, Blue Toad.

Toad: I don't see why. Hockey seems like a perfectly normal activity to me.

"Oh brother," Mario moaned. "Alright, well what do you say we hold his party for him in the park, by the boulevard where the skate park is? And you and all your goons can show up around... how about... 2 o'clock?"
"Yes! That sounds super, Mario. I owe you one!!" Bowser said in relief.
Mario was not impressed. "You forgot all about your kid's birthday didn't you?" he asked.
"No... no! I just wanted to give you all the opportunity to share a royal birthday with us!"
Mario was still not impressed. "Why I stick my neck out for you, I don't know," he said. "One of these days, Tubby!"
Bowser had already hung up.
Mario slammed the phone down. "Luigi grab the first aid kit and the streamers," he yelled. "We're playing hockey!"
"Pardon?"
"We have another party job," Mario sighed. "Great. I let my name become commercialized and look what happens! Now when am I supposed to eat my biscotti??"
Then he sat down to make twenty more subsequent phone calls. (That's right, why call Bozo the Clown when you can have Mario plan your party instead??)

48 minutes later, at Bowser's castle...

"Dad!" Bowser Jr said for the 56th time.
Bowser jolted up from where he was sitting at his computer desk. "Junior!" he scolded.
"Dad!"
"Junior!!"
"Dad!!!"
"Junior, Daddy's working!" Bowser yelled at last, scooting forward to hide the computer screen.
BJ leaned over. "Is playing 'Mario Teaches Typing' considered working??"

Mario: OH NO!!! NOT THE GAME THAT HAUNTS MY EXISTENCE!

Toad: I don't see why. Typing seems like a perfectly normal activity to me.

Luigi: Oh trust me, it's the furthest thing from normal.

Wario: 'Crazy' Normal or 'Normal' Normal?

Luigi: ...Normal Normal.

Toad: I don't get it.

Mario: BURN ALL COPIES FROM THE FACE OF THE PLANET!!

Luigi: You see, Mario was going through a tough phase back then... trying to figure out who he was. The dad jokes were rampant.

Daisy: They were trying to figure out if Mario games were going to be actually fun and groundbreaking in the electronic industry or just educational throwaways that kids would remember when cringing about their childhood.

Luigi: And he was also just a floating head.

NintendoJedi: If that doesn't disturb you, I don't know what on this green earth will.

Peach: The thing that confuses me is how a bunch of adults can sit down to discuss an idea and THAT is what they come up with.

Yoshi: What, the floating Mario head? That's classic gold.

Mario: Can we just get on with the story??!

Bowser grinned sheepishly as his son raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously.
Now to be fair, allow me a chance to explain. See, Bowser was ACTUALLY browsing miiBay to look for a decent birthday present for BJ using half-day delivery by paratroopa. In anticipation of an event like this, he had prepared an old computer game to cover himself if necessary.
He just wasn't really paying attention to what the koopalings put on his computer.
"Can I sing for you?" The computer asked in Mario's voice.

Mario: WHY DOES IT EXIST??!?

Wario: Well now I'm intrigued!

"Uhh I think I'm done now, anyway!" Bowser said, pulling the wall plug in a panic.
Bowser Jr crossed his arms. "Dad, when do I get my birthday surprise?"
"Uuhhmm, in just a couple hours! Yeah... hey, I have a great idea though! Why don't you go out and hang with your friends until then?"
BJ blinked at him. "Like who?"
There was an awkward silence as they realized BJ had no friends.

Daisy: Well, maybe if he didn't treat everyone like human waste...

Toad: BURN!!

"Well... I got it! Why don't you go hang out with your pal... uh..." Bowser thought nervously. "Hang on, I gotta make a phone call!" And he sped to the phone again.
Bowser Jr rolled his eyes to himself. "When I'M king, you're not gonna see me making phone calls rather than texting. Soo last century."

Meanwhile, at The Foob Farm (otherwise known as Peach's Castle...)

Mario stood by the front gate with a pencil in his ear, holding a clipboard and trying to look important while the rest of the gang and goons assembled on the lawn. Turning to Luigi, who was digging through supply boxes beside him, he asked, "Hey, does this pencil make me look fat?"
Luigi gave him a weird look. "Do you really want the answer to that?"
"I'm just trying to look professional enough to yell at people on a hockey field," he shrugged. "...Wait a minute, what do you mean??"
Princess Peach, who was standing nearby, turned to them. "Alright, I think everyone's here, Mario," she said. "Not that I mind, but what is all this about?" She looked over their boxes, which were stuffed with rubber chickens, giant chain chomp lawn decorations, and psychedelic wigs. You know, the kinds of things that people buy when they decide to retire at 25 and move to the beach. (Or, y'know, have a really lit dorm party.)
"Right. Okay everybody, thank you so much for coming!" Mario announced. "I know I called you here on rather short notice..."
"It's no problem, I was only in the middle of filing for homeowners insurance," DK replied. (Don't ask.)
"Yeah, somebody better be dying," Waluigi agreed, standing there nonchalantly in a towel with soap on his head. (For your own safety, there is no visual.)
"Hold up. ...you bathe?" Yoshi asked in disbelief.
"That's none of your beeswax!" Waluigi replied, getting in his face.
Mario clapped his hands. "Guys! I have a very serious mission for all of us!"
"Oh boy, I can't wait," Wario rolled his eyes. "I bet it'll be as exciting as our last mission!"
"I was in desperate need of those marshmallows," Mario defended. "What good are midnight s'mores without marshmallows??"
"Who calls people for marshmallow offerings at 2 am??"
Waluigi smacked his mouth impatiently. "I don't see any dying people here," he commented.
"I never promised dying people," Mario replied. "I just said this was important."
"If you don't like it, why do you even bother coming??" Daisy asked pointedly.
Waluigi tapped his chin. "...I dunno."
She facepalmed.
"Because of my almighty influence, of course," Mario declared. "Now listen! Today is our very own Bowser Jr's birthday, and that incompetent dad Bowser has asked us to pick up his slack and throw him a wild dorm party at the skate park at 2:00! That means I want you to pull together and make it a day to remember!"
"WHAT!?" the entire group exploded.
"But I had three more hours of The Twilight Town to watch!!" Wario argued.
"Too bad!" Mario replied. "The spoiled turtle needs a bash!"
"Hold up. A dorm party at the skate park?" Yoshi frowned.
"Exactly," Mario replied.
"But isn't he, like, six years old?"
"How old is he?" Daisy asked.
"Classified," Mario sighed.
"Wait! What's today's date?" Peach wanted to know.
"Also classified," Luigi replied.
"Now! I want you to be in charge of food," Mario said, pointing at Daisy. "Make sure the cake is cakey and the beverages are on the rocks."
"Mario!" Luigi scolded.
"What?" Mario said. "They're non-alcoholic. Who said you can't have orange juice on the rocks?" Turning to DK, he said, "I want you to be in charge of decorations. Do all the heavy lifting and sweaty climbing that's required for an optimal experience."
"Gee, thanks," DK mumbled.
"Yoshi, I want you to watch the rest of the foobs and come up with some good games and things to keep us occupied."
"Like what?" Yoshi asked.
"I don't know, they're kids! Get some bouncy balls and hoolahoops! How hard can it be to keep them entertained?"
"Dying last words," Yoshi grumbled.
"Why do I feel like I'm being enlisted in the military?" Wario asked.
"This is not the military, it's Project Fun! Now go DO WHATEVER YOSHI SAYS!!"
As everyone moved off grumblingly to do as they'd been told for some reason, Mario picked up some of the supply boxes. "Well, we'd better get moving. Sunshine's wasting and I don't want to have to gather more Shine Sprites." Luigi gave him a look.
Just then Mario's phone rang with an 8bit jingle from his rear. "Luigi, can you grab that?" he asked, juggling some boxes.
Luigi obediently pulled it out and held it to Mario's ear.
"Can I help you?"
"Mario! Thank goodness," Bowser answered. "I need your help!"

Toad: Y'know, it must be really convenient to have your archenemy's phone number.

Mario: Well, you've gotta maintain your relationships somehow.

Mario groaned and glanced at Luigi. "I said don't get your horns in a knot, I have my best idiots on the job right now!" he replied.
"Thanks, you're the best. ...But wait, that's not why I called! I need help with Bowser Jr!!"
"Help? You mean like a psychiatrist?" Mario asked.
"No!! I need a hero!!" (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)
Mario made a concerned face.
"I mean... I need a babysitter! I need someone to watch Junior and keep him distracted for a while!"
"Ohh... well gosh, I don't know," Mario said at last. "I don't really like babysitting people I've beat up before."
"Please! Just so I can find him a birthday present!"
Mario frowned and glanced around. Everyone but Peach and Luigi was already working on their appointed tasks. Sharing a glance with the princess, who was pretty much hearing everything, he nodded. She nodded back.
"Alright Bowser, the princess will watch him for a while," he said. "But if he kidnaps her I'm going to personally... kill him."
"Yes! Thank you so much, Mario! Kamek will drop him off soon!"
Then they hung up.
"I can't believe I just agreed to this," he said. Turning, he exclaimed, "I just invited Bowser Jr to your castle!"
"Mario, it'll be fine," Peach assured. "It's all part of the plan."
"Who's plan?" Mario asked. "For all I know it isn't even Junior's birthday!"
"Well... if things go south, you'll know where to find me. Besides, Toad will stay and help!"
"Oh, that makes me feel loads better."

Toad: Hey, what exactly are you implying??

"Mario, we should go," Luigi said, eyeing Wario wrapping the half-naked Waluigi with pink streamers. "There's an adequacy quota we have to meet for this party and I'm starting to doubt we'll make it."
Mario sighed. "Alright, take care," he told the princess, starting to move away with Luigi. "If the kid pulls out a paintbrush, or a rope, or a communication device of any sort, be on alert. You have-a my number, so call me maybe!"
Luigi stifled a laugh. "I don't think that came out quite the way you intended..."
Mario didn't hear him, having already turned to the nutjobs he was working with. "Alright neanderthals, it's time to move out! Waluigi, drop that party popper and put on some clothes!!"

Peach turned to Toad as they stood outside the gate of her castle. "Well, Toad, I'm not sure what to do until Bowser Jr gets here," she thought aloud.
"Well, we could just stand here like we have been for the past five minutes," Toad suggested.
"Hm, perhaps. Or maybe I could make a soufflé!"
"Or maybe you could brainstorm ideas on how to not get kidnapped!" He suggested.
Peach waved a hand and laughed. "Don't be silly, Toad. That would detract from our purpose in life."
"Oh. True. Then again, I don't think we've ever just stood and waited for Bowser Jr to come."
"Life is funny that way," she agreed.
And then, because I'm not going to make you people wait for the plotpoints to get moving, Kamek appeared just then in a clown car!
And oh no!
Bowser Jr was with him!
"He-llo Princess!" He hollered down. "Guess who just got invited to your house??"

Wario: Fifty pounds of incoming ham?

Toad: Ha. Good one.

"Oh, hello there," Peach called. "Happy birthday, Junior!"
"You KNEW? Aw, thanks, mama! How's about you let me inside and we can do something totally awesome!"
"Oh, sure... absolutely!" she said skeptically, hoping that by awesome he didn't mean explosive or offensive. I mean, with kids, you never know.
They watched as Kamek lowered the car. BJ hopped out.
"Be careful, Junior," Kamek warned like a first time soccer mom. "Don't forget your phone... don't forget your snack! Have fun!"
BJ rolled his eyes. "There, I'm fine," he told him. "Now beat it before she changes her mind!!"
Kamek sighed. And he said he hoped he was getting a bonus for this. And he beat it.

Bowser: I'd just like to step in here to say I don't pay Kamek, I just cover his health insurance.

Kamek: You really need it when you work in that place.

BJ pumped his arms. "Alright! Big Mama's house!!"

Elsewhere... (aka the skate park place)

Mario clapped his hands loudly. "Alright! Get to work, hobos!"
"Gee, I'm so motivated," Waluigi replied.
"We already are working," Wario grouched, standing next to a ladder with a giant pile of papers. Above him, Waluigi teetered on the highest rung of the ladder with a few of them on which had been painted giant letters, which he was hanging up on a clothesline. (He was wearing clothes now, if that's important.)
"Why are you decorating?? I put you on game duty!" Mario said.
"This is a game!" Waluigi argued. "We can take turns blindfolding ourselves and then hanging up the letters to see what we spell. Like this!" He grabbed a piece of paper and covered his eyes, reached for the clothesline, misjudged because he couldn't see, and toppled from the ladder like a blind pigeon. He smacked the ground with a sickening splat.
Wario burst into laughter. "See? Foolproof!" Turning to Waluigi, he added, "Can I try?"
Waluigi considered. "What's the magic word?"
"Please?"
"Actually it was Wah. But I guess I can let it slide."
Mario just made a face and moved on.
Nearby Daisy had set up a table with the snacks, with which Birdo and some toads were helping her.
"Hey hey Daisy May, you got something good for me to eat today?" he asked, plunking his elbow on the table.
Daisy turned and gave him a look. "Don't call me that. And furthermore, I hope you know I'm not a master chef like Peach and you didn't exactly give me a great time window, so I just picked up a store bought cake at Toadmart."
"Aw, seriously?" Mario asked like someone skimped on the meat in his sandwich. "Let me see it."
Yellow Toad marched over with a platter. "Here you are, sir," he declared. "Just what Dr. Mario ordered!"
Mario looked at it hopefully. At first glance, it looked good: vanilla frosting with black and red and green swirls. But then he suddenly frowned like he'd seen a zit in the mirror.

Mario: Which I never have, by the way.

Wario: Yeah, right.

NintendoJedi: Ooh... *takes note*

"Uhh, excuse me? Did you all flunk out of spelling class in the third grade?"
Yellow Toad gasped. "How did you know??" he asked, looking hurt.
Mario grabbed the cake and showed it to them. Across the bottom it read in black icing, Happy Birthday Boswer Jr!
Daisy frowned. "I don't see what you're - Ohh. Oh."
Mario put it down. "Oh."
Daisy shrugged. "There are worse things," she said.
Mario sighed and pinched his nosebridge. "Yeah, yeah. Like the look Bowser's gonna give me when he sees it, resulting in me looking like an idiot who can't spell, resulting in me getting my free cream puff privileges revoked! And I CANNOT LIVE without my UNLIMITED CREAM PUFFS!!"
"Whoa, calm down, man," Daisy said, pulling the cake back. "I don't know what you're talking about anyway. I'll try to fix it, okay?? Don't get your mustache in a knot."
"My mustache is not in a knot!" Mario replied overly loudly. Pointing harshly at his face, he said, "It's very... unknotted!"
Just then Luigi appeared at his elbow with a bowl full of confetti. "Hey Mario, when you're done with your tantrum, could you come check out the work DK and Yoshi have been doing? They've got some entertainment ideas for us. Plus we found the roller blades and hockey sticks."
"Alright, hockey sticks!" Mario said enthusiastically. "I've been wanting to beat someone over the head all day!"
Luigi made another face. "Mario, are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay. Party planning for your archenemy's kid isn't stressful at all."
"Okay, fair point. But at least you're not babysitting him."

"So, this is the ballroom, as I guess you already probably know," Peach said, opening the doors to the grand room of her castle.
"Cool, what kind of balls?" BJ asked, sipping a juice box as he followed her on a toy scooter.
Peach turned to him with a sharp eye. "Dancing balls," she said sharply. "Where we hold the Mushroom Ball every now and then."
"Is that where you and Daddy met?"
She did a double take. "No!"
BJ grinned and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, only I can read parent talk. 'No' actually means 'yes, mind your own business'."
"Only I'm a princess, not a parent. 'No' actually means 'of course not'."
"Yeah, I don't have a big attention span," he said, waving her off. "So how come you and Daddy agreed to let me come over?"
"Well..." Peach paused thoughtfully on her way into the tv room. "I suppose... so that you could try video games on my enormous 80-inch flatscreen!"
She pushed open the doors, revealing a most mouth-watering sight that would cause even the most hardened grown man to cry: a small, secluded room with no windows, filled ceiling to floor with a shelf full of video games from the past three eras of Nintendo history. Center stage on the wall before them was the flatscreen as promised.
BJ dropped his juice box. "I think I'm blind," he said.

Mario: On second thought never mind! I wanna babysit!!

Luigi: Mario, this is unrealistic. You know babysitting almost never involves actually playing video games.

Mario: It does in my book.

NintendoJedi: It does in this book.

Bowser Jr scrambled forward and grabbed some controllers. "Take me at Mario Kart mama, I dare you!"
Peach considered. "Okay... if you stop calling me mama."
"Done!"
Then the two sat down on the floor and started giggling over the Kart selection like a bunch of first graders in the 90's.
See? Everything is made easier with video games.

Over at Bowser's again...

Bowser scratched his head and squinted at the computer like an eighty year old trying to join an online gaming community.
Scrolling through with a skeptical expression, he finally hollered, "KAMEK! I NEED SOME HELP WITH THIS!!"
Kamek blasted into the room on his broom like he'd been waiting outside the door. Splatting onto the wall, he quickly asked, "Yes sir?"
Bowser clicked repeatedly on the mouse. "I need to buy something genius on miiBay, but I don't know what's the right present! Should I go with the glow in the dark fish, the invisible slinky, or the self-feeding chain chomp?"
"The glow in the dark fish, definitely. What kid doesn't want to wake up to luminescent aquatic specimens?"
Bowser stared at him. "Dude, when I said I wanted help, I intended it to be in English," he said.
"Just order the fish!!"
Now Bowser frowned in confusion. "Are you kidding? I always order the turkey legs!"
Kamek sighed. And he turned to the audience. "You know, for a guy who owns a smartphone, he really doesn't know much about the internet."

Anyway, BACK at the skate park place...
Boy, I should just like really make my own time cards.

Mario crossed his arms. "Alright Yosh, wow me."
"Alright, so you see this giant dumpster of confetti?" Yoshi asked, smacking said dumpster. "It's contents are composed entirely of cut up streamers from this year's Toad Awards."
"Impressive... I guess," Mario said. "Where'd you get the dumpster?"
Here they looked ashamed. "DK found it behind Wario's house.
"...It was in a larger dumpster."
"Ah," Mario said.
"So our big idea is that basically, we'll give each other bowls of it," Yoshi went on, demonstrating Luigi's bowl, "and we'll have a giant confetti fight! Like a snowball fight, only... with confetti!"
Mario and Luigi stood and stared at them for a while. And Mario took a deep breath.
And he didn't speak again for a real long time.

This is the part where we would ordinarily change the scene, but it's not time to change the scene, so we'll just make something different happen instead.
*snaps fingers*
Suddenly a full-size washing machine appeared on the lawn in a puff of smoke.
Because, y'know, that's normal.
The group turned.
"Don't tell me," Luigi said. "Your next idea has to do with taking a spin in the washing machine?"
Yoshi snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. Only Wario climbs in washing machines."

Wario: The proper term is wahshing machine.

Yoshi: Well excuse my uncultured grammar.

"Wait a minute... Mario, I think I've seen that washing machine before!" Luigi said, grabbing his arm.
DK gasped. "You know, I feel the same way," he said. "Weird..."
"I can third that," Yoshi squinted. "It has a very strange feeling to it... like something from a dream or a vague memory..."
Diddy Kong, who was also there, just shook his head and frowned. "Yeah, I think it was at the county fair," he said. "Right next to the cotton gin they found on the moon!"
Mario groaned and rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, you all can't be serious. ...That's CLEARLY the teleportation doohickey from Big Hero 6!"
(And the audience facefaults.)
Then the washing machine started to shake. Everyone stared in anticipation as the door on the front started to jiggle open. Luigi slowly moved behind Mario.
"There's something inside," he whispered fearfully.
And boy, was there something inside. I think the best name for it was unwieldy malarkey.
But I mean, this is ridiculous. You all already know what was in there, and I know that you know. So I should just stop with the stupid suspense.
It was full of Rabbids®️.
In one minute they erupted from the compartment like boogers from a really messed up —
Actually, let's not.
So the Rabbids exploded, and it only took 4.75 seconds for them to be positively everywhere.
Immediately the air was filled with a million tiny powerful voices all saying one thing in a continual hum of Annoying:
"Bwahh!!" - "Bwah!" - "Bwaa-ah!!" - "BWAAAHHH!!" —
I think you get the picture. If you've heard Rabbids before, that is. Otherwise you cannot possibly imagine it with your eardrums.
Suddenly they were everywhere doing every unimaginable thing you can imagine: there were buff Rabbids who looked like they had been eating toxic waste with real live volcanoes with magma on their heads, 'normal' Rabbids sticking plungers on each others' faces and having piggyback wheelbarrow races, and even ones with spiky hairdos like Ziggy Stardust which were doing what can only be explained in a gif:

The 'normaler' guys just stood there for a moment and stared as the invaders from Ubisoft just leaked out of the clothes washing device like an irritating virus.
Then DK threw up his arm. "YEAH!! PARTY HARD!!!"
Mario shoved his arm down. "No! It is not time to party yet!!" Whirling back to the sea of rabbits, he stared and tried not to lose his cool.
"Okay... so it's the Rabbids," he chuckled unpleasantly. "Just... my favorite."
Diddy frowned. "You all know these things?"
"Heh... it's a weird story," Luigi said.
DK nodded. "Yeah, remember I told you about it? Hey, look, I know that one!" he said, pointing to an older-looking rabbid with a cane and a sweater vest. He was hobbling along amid the chaos like a peanut at an almond convention, until he suddenly got smacked in the head by a drone somebody else was flying. Then he whipped out his cane, which magically transformed into a bow caster, and started shooting plungers at everything.
"Yep, he's an amalgamation of a rabbid and my grandfather's DNA," DK said. "Real trusty where it counts, though!"
Yoshi glanced him over and scooted a step further away.
But as with all things in this land, things quickly took a turn for the Crazy. Wario and Waluigi, who were still over by the ladder hanging signs, suddenly noticed the infestation.
"Hey Wal, is it just me or is it getting crowded out here?"
"Yeah... now that you mention it, it does seem to be a bit... anarchic."
At that moment a wave of Rabbids raved towards them, flattening Wario and sending papers flying everywhere. Rabbids slipped in the colorful paint and splatted all over the ground like vibrant bird droppings. They also tipped Waluigi's ladder, where the inevitable happened: he teetered like a newborn ostrich, tried to save himself by grabbing the hanging banner, failed, and ended up tearing down the entire thing, sending himself and even more papers flying everywhere. Just prior to this tragedy, the sign had finally been completed and read: JOIN A HIPPY SOB TIRDS.
Mario, seeing this, breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness for that."
Waluigi sat up and blinked like a baby bird. "Gee... these are some ugly looking fish!" he remarked, gawking at the Rabbids flopping all over the ground.
"Yeah, they're like little hackey sacks with eyeballs!" Wario said, getting up and grabbing a random rabbid. He pelted it at Waluigi with little repercussions.
"Hey, look!" Waluigi said suddenly, pointing at a couple of Rabbids. "Those look like us!"
Wario's jaw dropped. "They're ripping off our swag!!"
Sure enough, it was Bwario and Bwaluigi themselves. They looked exactly the same as their namesakes, only Bwario was shorter and shrimpy and Bwaluigi was big and buff with a brick for a brain. And they were less ugly.
"Hey look, pal!!" Wario growled, marching over to them. "I can see we're having trouble deciding who's the alpha male here. Well newsflash: it ME, Wario!!"
Bwario stared at him. "BWAAAH!!" he screamed in his face.
Wario gasped. "This guy is good. WAAAH!!" He screamed back.
"BWAAAAH!"
"WAAAH!"
And that went on and so forth.
The only place that didn't fall into immediate disorder was the snack table, where Daisy and Birdo and some toads were juggling dishes and trying to keep Rabbids at bay. Finally Daisy had enough of it.
"ENOUGH! I don't who you are, I don't know what you want. But this is MY snack table!! So be good or MAKE YOURSELVES SCARCE!!"
The Rabbids, in an almost unseen display of timidity, quieted down and sat on the grass.
All hail the scary flower princess.
Daisy brushed her bangs back. "Now. WHAT ON NOT-EARTH IS GOING ON??!?"
Everyone was too occupied to answer her.
Meanwhile, Yoshi was trying to pull apart two Rabbids that had gotten their tongues tied together. "Mario, we're gonna need a plan for these guys... are you just gonna let them stay for the party or what??"
Mario moaned in indescision. Now let's be real, he liked the Rabbids, he really did. It's just that he was starting to have nightmares of Bowser rearranging his face for ruining the party or hitting him with a roast turkey leg or even worse... making him play Mario Teaches Typing.
Mario jerked up. "NOT THE FLOATING MARIO HEAD!!" Turning to Yoshi, he nodded. "We've gotta get them all back into the washing machine somehow!"
"Like how?" Luigi asked, holding onto Mario's arm to avoid being swept away by the rabbid storm.
Yoshi suddenly snorted. "Hey look Mario, there's your little friend!" Turning, they all looked to see Rabbid Mario, (dressed like Mario except without a shirt) standing amid a small crowd and showing off his arms for the others. Catching sight of a nearby girl rabbid wearing a very attractive lampshade and a wig, he flexed his practically nonexistent muscle and kissed it.
"Oh yeah, just like Mario," Luigi said in weirdness.
Just then there was another sound behind them. A sound that sounded like a fat guy crashing onto the ground, or maybe a giant sack of potatoes. But it was even worse than that.
And when they turned, they found it was —
"BOWSER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??! AAHHH!!" Mario shrieked.
Bowser parked his clown car and locked it. "I'm here for the party, duh!! How's it —
He froze.
There were Rabbids all over tarnation, sunbathing on the hockey court, plunger jousting, throwing papers everywhere, and a classic favorite, slapping each other back and forth in the face.
"Bowser... I can explain," Mario said carefully.
"This oughta be good," Yoshi whispered.
Sadly, he never got a chance. Almost like somebody had smashed a button for Order 66, the Rabbids jerked up and saw Bowser in one motion.
"Uhh... M-Mario, why are they looking at me —
Almost as one, they launched forward in a stampeding horde, somehow got underneath Bowser, and lifted him up like a giant package. Swept off his feet, they started to run like maniac thieves, carrying him away.
Bowser lost it.
"MARIOHELPME! MARIOHELPME! MARIOHELPME!!" he screamed. "I'm being kidnapped by weird monsters!!"
Mario frowned in his most no-nonsense of ways. "Hey!! You guys put him down right now!!"
They didn't.
Mario sighed in frustration, running after them. "That's my monster!! Go find your own!"
So Bowser screamed as he was carried away and Mario gave chase.

Blue Toad: I think we've come full circle, guys!

Yellow Toad: Life is funny that way.

Back at Peach's castle...

Bowser Jr threw down his switch controller. "Ha, yes! That's three in a row!!" He jumped up and promptly started moonwalking across the game room, squawking like a bird. "OOH OOH!!"

Waluigi: HEY! No moonwalking without my permission! That is MY thing!

Toad: Oh, please. That gameroom has seen MUCH weirder things.

Peach raised an eyebrow. "Um, yes... congratulations," she said uncertainly.
"Don't worry," he said, patting her shoulder. "You'll be a grown up karter one day."
Peach crossed her arms. "Excuse me? I've been in the game longer than you've been alive, Junior."
"How do you know how long I've been alive??"
"Well I would know if you would just tell me!"
"It's a secret to everybody!" Junior hollered.
Peach gasped. "Junior," she scolded. "Don't raise your voice."
"Oh, sorry. LIKE THIS??"
Peach frowned. "Junior, go sit in the corner for a minute," she pointed. "You need to take a time out!"
Suddenly he bounced up. "Ooh! I'm being parented!" he said in excitement.
"Go," she said. "And I'll make you a snack if you're good!"
"Whoo!" Junior cheered and plunked himself in the corner. "Best birthday ever!!"

3 minutes 26 seconds of timeout later...

BJ put his head in his hand. "You know I just realized something?" he called to Peach. "Timeout is wicked boring."
"Alright, come on out," the princess called.
BJ took off like a dog who heard he was being neutered.
"I made apples with chocolate sauce," the princess said, sitting at the counter.
"Were they made with love?" Bowser Jr asked.
"Uhm... chocolate is love!"
"Whoo hoo!" He sat down beside her and scarfed them down like a rabid wolf.
"Hey, can we play truth or dare?"
Peach frowned. "Uhh..."
"Rad! Me first. I choose dare!"
"Uhh... Alright," she said skeptically. "I dare you to... give your daddy a big hug when you see him!"
"Pah! That's easy. Truth or dare?"
"...Truth," she said at last.
"Did you ever give my daddy a kiss?"
"Ughh! No! Alright, I think it's time to go," Peach said in frustration, getting up.
"Don't leave me I love you!!" BJ screamed.
She sighed. "You're coming with me, young man," she said. "We're going to visit somebody." Glancing at the clock, which read 2:01, she thought, I hope we're not late.

The open fields of the Mushroom Kingdom were the picture of beauty and relaxation; wide, luscious, and fit for a postcard. Butterflies fluttered, fireflowers spun, and a gentle breeze ran through.
And a stampede of hysterical Rabbids carrying a screaming Bowser followed by a few humans and other weird characters who may or may not have been yelling obscenities.
Running across the field in pursuit of the herd, Mario thought, Mama, I hope Peach is majorly late.
"Wario, heads up!" Luigi shouted, seeing a bunch of Rabbids throwing a hockey stick at his ankles.
"Wah!" Wario jumped and just managed to avoid getting his feet taken off.
"Heads down!" Luigi yelled.
"WaaAAH-!!" Wario didn't duck and just managed to get his head taken off by another hockey stick.
"Well, he's dead," Luigi called, running after Mario. "You have a plan?"
"MARIO!! Help me!!" Bowser yelled.
"I'm working on things here!!" Mario hollered back, dodging a rubber chicken that was flung his way.
"JUST SHUT UP AND RESCUE ME!!"
Mario frowned. "Hey, Rabbids! Hold up!!"
Waluigi snorted. "Yeah, like they're gonna stop just because you said that!"
Then, probably purely just because the world likes to spite Waluigi, the Rabbids stopped. The Mario gang (who was left of them) stared.
Somewhere in the horde, a rabbid dressed like Luigi in an overly long green dress turned to the rabbid next him.
"Bwa Bwa bwaaah-aah aah!!"
She jerked up. "Bwah??!"
Mario squinted in confusion. "Hey! Put the incompetent dad down!" he said.
"Hey, Wait-!" Bowser was cut off as the Rabbids parted, letting him smack the ground like an overweight boulder.
"Wow... that worked!" Luigi marveled.
As the incomprehensible but sadly not mute creatures started to break up, they spotted a couple of familiar faces in the crowd.
"Hey look! It's Rabbid Luigi and —
"Rabbid Peach!!" Mario shrieked. "Oh no save me!!"
Luigi frowned at him. "What's wrong with —?"
Just then the two looked up and noticed them. Rabbid Luigi waved, tried to walk closer and tripped on his dress, returning to the facedown position in which he spent most of his life.
Rabbid Peach, on the other hand, was an entirely different story.
She turned with cellphone in hand, golden wig blowing in slow motion. Magic violins from nowhere began to play the Romeo and Juliet ballet as she caught sight of Mario, did an exaggerated Rabbid gasp, and started to frolic towards him like a blissfully lovestruck teenage girl.
Mario screamed an F sharp. "SOS SOMEBODY HELP ME!!"
Then Rabbid Peach darted for him.
Just as she was about to reach him, however, another Rabbid, one with long purple hair and armor with a crazy headdress, shoved her aside. "Bwa Ha! Bwa-aah-aaha."
Rabbid Peach glared at her. "Bwaaa!!"
Then those two started a shoving competition.
"Is that the Lava Queen?" Yoshi asked in confusion.
"Yeah," Luigi said, "the one who... kept flirting with Mario during our battle. And before... and after..."

Mario: First time a girl held me over the floor. BUT WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT!!

Toad: Who's talking about it?

Mario ran back for the hockey court, screaming like his hair was on fire.
Rabbid Peach punched the Lava Queen. And then the entire horde of Rabbids began stampeding after him.
When the bwanarchy had passed, Luigi, Yoshi, DK and Bowser regrouped. Bowser crossed his arms and blinked twice.
"What just happened?"
Yoshi shrugged. "Eh, the usual."

"Where are we going, Mama?" BJ asked in excitement as he and Peach scaled the grassy hill.
"Junior, I told you not to call me that!" She scolded.
"Sorry, Mama. Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise just over this hill," she sighed. "Why don't you go see?" Surely Mario is done with the preparations by now.
BJ darted off in the direction of the hockey court. When he reached the top of the hill, he froze, stared, then dropped his jaw like it was made of lead.
"Well?" The princess asked. "What do you think?"
Then she looked.
The place was a toxic waste dump compared to the shindig she'd imagined. There was a snack table, but any decorations there had been looked like they'd been put up by a five year old (or a teenager with a bad attitude). Pieces of paper with painted letters were strewn across the lawn, plastic chain chomps were scattered everywhere, and rubber chickens were strung along clotheslines. The hockey court was still intact; but it was littered with dozens of Rabbids and other minions, chasing each other with hockey sticks and pelting each other in the backside with pucks.
And of course, there were Rabbids. Rabbids were everywhere.
Nearby, Bowser and the koopalings were also standing around looking stupefied.
"Dad?" Bowser Jr gasped.
Bowser jolted. "Junior??" He turned and saw his son.
And then, the two would have run for each other in slow motion across the littered field, scooped each other into each other's arms and had an emotional moment.
Note I said would have.
Because just as they were about to do that, a stray bullet from a machine gun that may or may not have belonged to Rabbid Yoshi went whizzing by, hitting the confetti dumpster head on with the force of a ten ton rhino.
It's not rocket science to figure out what happened. (Well, maybe it is a little bit?)
KABOOM!
The air was filled with thousands of tiny colorful papers fluttering across the sky like pollen, making the place look like a dumpier dump than before... albeit a festive dump. Thrilled by this explosion, a bunch of Rabbids threw up their hands and screamed in approval.
"Oh YEAH!" Wario hollered from where he was perched atop the ladder like a fat crow.
BJ stared for a moment in silent disbelief.
Peach, too horrified for words, put her head in her hand.
"I... LOVE IT!!" BJ shrieked. "Is this for me?? Really really?!"
Bowser scrambled up. "Junior! Yes, Junior! Happy birthday!!!"
Bowser Junior darted up to him just like in Chariots of Fire. Except they weren't on a beach. And there was no pretty music playing for this one. And there was a giant hug waiting for him at the end.
The entire crowd awwed as Bowser hugged his kid.
"How did you know I wanted to see the Rabbids, Daddy? Did you invite them over for me?? Ooh, is that cake???"
Bowser just nodded stupidly, feeling like he'd won the Best Dad Award. "Yeah, uh... it's your special day, Junior! Knock yourself out!"
"Better yet, let me do it for you!" Morton said, busting in between them. He grabbed BJ in an overly tight hug that looked sort of like a medieval torture method. "Happy BDay!"
"Yeah, aren't you spoiled," Wendy said, stalking over with the rest of the koopalings.
"Just remember. Being heir to the throne doesn't mean you're the oldest," Ludwig said, trying to look important. Larry slapped him.
"You know, I'm too happy to even beat you guys up!" Bowser Jr said. "Last one to the cake has to do Kamek's laundry!"
While those koopas raided the dessert table, Mario came over to Bowser, who was standing there looking stupidly pleased and patting himself on the back.
"Stop patting yourself on the back," Mario groaned. "Don't forget who brought you here!"
"Mario! I owe you one, man. How did you know to do the annoying rabbity things? What even are they??"
"It's... better if you don't know," he said, glancing around. "By the way, have you seen a Rabbid dressed like Peach in a pink crop top?"
"Um, no?"
"Oh thank goodness. I think I lost them." Leaning against some random bricks, Mario nodded contentedly. "So you can feel free to thank me... anytime."
"I already did!" Bowser said.
"Ahem. For rescuing you?"
"Oh, please. That was nothing."
"That's funny, I can hear a lava pit calling your name," Mario pondered.
"Alright alright, thanks for saving me! Just don't expect any kisses from me."
"Wouldn't dream of it." He patted his pocket secretly, where he had footage of the entire incident which would be all over BooTube that night.

Bowser: You did WHAT?!

Mario: You didn't hear anything.

Suddenly Bowser sniffed the air. "Hang on... do I smell... roast turkey legs??" He zipped to the food table. "Gargantuan goombas, dreams really do come true!!" Then he dug in.
Mario sipped an orange juice on the rocks and grinned to himself. "Well Mario, you've done it again."
"Done what?" Peach suddenly asked, appearing at his side.
"Whoa!" he nearly jumped, then laughed. "Threw a successful party, Princess! And those Rabbids really add the life, you know?"
They stood and watched as Rabbid Yoshi (basically a Rabbid in a Yoshi suit) shot passers by with his pellet machine gun thing.
"Oh yeah," Peach agreed. "It's, uh... not really what I was expecting... but you're the expert, I guess!"
"Yeah." Mario chuckled. "By the way, how did the babysitting go? Did he kidnap you??"
"Mario, it went just fine," she assured. "It got a little... unorthodox I'll admit, but it was really alright. I know it sounds funny... but it almost makes me wish I had my own someday!"
Mario, who was drinking his non-alcoholic beverage, suddenly inhaled a piece of ice, spewed liquid on the grass, and spent ten seconds hacking up the object lodged in his throat while Peach watched him in alarm.
Suddenly Waluigi stood up on the food table to address the masses. "Hey everywahdy!! Let's play hockey!!"
"As soon as you get your feet out of my kid's cake!" Bowser growled. Then he took his roast turkey leg and beat Waluigi off the table with it.
Disney may have said it first, but realistically, dreams really do come true.

Toadette: *sigh* How magical!

This is where we were gonna originally end the story, but since y'all never really got to see the hockey game in progress, I guess its time for the

Play this music for the following segment(from the soundtrack Breakin Outta Hell):

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

"Okay nerds, hand over the puck!" Mario announced across the court, planting his stick like a staff.
"In your dreams, butt-y," Wario spat back.
"Okay, that was low," Mario said, desperately trying to appear unamused. He took a battle stance.
Blue Toad appeared on the sideline. "3, 2, 1, ATTACK!" he hollered.
A couple of Rabbids decked out in red and blue war paint blasted a charging rally on the trumpet.
Just when Wario was about to smack the puck into oblivion (which was an oversized coin, btw), Waluigi swept in like an ungraceful lynx and knocked it aside. This was the part where he was supposed to maneuver it into the opposite goal like a boss.
What actually happened was more like this: he swerved on his skate, lost balance when Daisy stuck out a foot and tripped him, and then faceplanted in an ice cream sundae some Rabbid had eaten and then 'replaced' on the blacktop two minutes before.
Oh yeah, in case I forgot to mention. The hockey court is actually concrete, because this is rollerblade hockey. That's for people who prefer sweating to freezing, folks.

Wario: Plus, no helmets or protective gear. Just the way I like it.

Mario: Living on edge!

Anyway, Yoshi received the puck, swung at it hard and bounced it off Wario's undulating stomach fat. Toad, who was skating along underfoot like a carefree six year old, just missed having his head taken off by it.
Peach caught it and bounced it around for a minute before passing it to Daisy. Unfortunately, a bunch of Rabbids wearing psychedelic wigs intercepted it. Pushing themselves along on a skateboard by shooting a hairdryer behind them, the Rabbids managed to weave around underfoot for a minute until Bowser's foot got in the way and sent them all hurling into the bushes.
"It's time to lay down the hurt!" He announced.
"Go daddy!!" BJ cheered from the other side of the court. A group of Rabbids on the sideline in poodle skirts screamed and cheered.
Then Mario smashed his hockey stick against Bowser's. "En guarde, Tubby!" he challenged.
Then another rubber chicken went catapulting from Birdo's mouth and smacked Bowser in the back of the head.
"Hey!! YOU BLEW MY CONCENTRATION!!"
"Yeah! Nobody interrupts our staredown!" Mario yelled. Then he swung his stick like a golf club, taking Bowser's mohawk off and then he screamed and everyone was blinded by his baldness. (No. Not really.)
What did happen was more like:
"OW!! You asked for it, plumber!!"
"Bring it on, Daddy-O!" Mario retorted.
Then those two started smashing sticks together like a couple of Sith Lords.
"Sword fight!!" Wario yelled in excitement.
"Alright!!"
Wario, Waluigi, DK, Yoshi and even Daisy soon joined in the whacking spree. (Think a nightclub brawl with samurai staffs and heavy metal music.)
"This is a birthday party!!" Luigi yelled from the sideline, but nobody listened to him. BJ was drinking it all up like a fireworks show.

Wario: Aw, shoot! I should've brought my TNT!

Daisy: What do you think this is, baseball??

Yoshi smacked Waluigi's stick from his hands, resulting in a pile of limbs on the concrete. Then Daisy held a blade to his neck. "Any last words, beanpole?"
"WAAAAHHHH!"
And she ran him over.

Wario: Well this escalated fast, even by my standards.

Blue Toad: Whoa, Wait. Waluigi was stabbed??

Yoshi: Sadly no. It was a rollerblade, people. Just a rollerblade...

Bowser beat a fist over DK's head and he fell to the court in a pile of limbs, pinning Mario's legs to the ground. While he was caught there, Rabbid Peach appeared from nowhere and struck a casual pose. "Bwaa. Bwabwa bwha?"
(Hey there. How's it going?)
Mario screamed. "SOMEONE SAVE ME!!"
"Busy," DK groaned, bashing a stick across Wario's ankles.
In the midst of all this mindless chaos, Peach skated up, stole the completely unattended puck, and skated over to Bowser Jr.
"Hey birthday boy, the goal's open!" She offered.
His eyes lit up. "Really? Thanks!" He took the puck and was getting ready to skate over and score, but before he made it past the pathetic pile of wrestling limbs, another Rabbid with  goggles bounced across in front of him. (He's the only genuinely adorable and miniature Rabbid with a sweet temperament.)
"Spawny?" BJ asked in disbelief. "It's you!" Chucking everything, he rushed over and scooped the tiny Rabbid into a big hug. "Best birthday ever!!" Then he whipped out a phone and started a selfie spree.
Meanwhile, Mario's head was getting devoured by a couple of lovestruck Rabbids while Waluigi was flung about overhead like a rag doll and Bowser beat people over the heads with a roasted stick. Finally, Mario managed to reach his bag of holding, pulled out a hand blaster he magically had, and blasted the Rabbids in the face. They were flung across the blacktop like mermaids washed ashore.
Then Peach took the puck and smashed it into the net, where it burst into flames and spontaneously combusted.
In the meantime, Luigi was sitting at the food table, stuffing his face with biscotti.
...Hockey!

Bowser: I don't guess I have to pay for that party, do I?

Mario: Excuse me??

Bowser: Oh, come on!! The decorations were garbage and I got KIDNAPPED! Can't you do me a solid?

Mario: I even rescued you and this is what I get??

Peach: Plus I babysat your child.

Daisy: And I wanna get reimbursed for that cake.

Wario: I'll take some money!!

Bowser: O_O

NintendoJedi: Alright guys, join us next time for 'Bowser Falls into Deep Debt'!

Bowser Jr: Hey, I have an even better idea! We should kidnap the princess!

Peach: !!!

IM SORRY GUYS
IM SORRY FOR SO MANY THINGS

Soooo... it's been like a billion years and I'm finally updating this book again! Surprised? Heh. No, I'm not dead.
So what on earth happened? Life. Specifically, college is super crazy and time consuming now, and I was also working on editing one of my other novels for the greater part of last year. I really hated the giant holdup guys, and I promise I didn't forget this book. Truth be told, I'm barely even getting STARTED ;)
Like, I have so many ideas for this it's hysterical. (Don't ask about this episode, though. I actually wrote the first part like a year ago, so picking it up again was a little hard. I'm sorry if it was a bit weird!)
So guys, I can't promise frequent updates, but don't give up on me — there's still so much to come, and I really can't wait.

In the meantime, go play Mario + Rabbids (its got guns in it!), don't forget to call your archenemy, and stay crazy!

~ NintendoJedi

And now ladies and gentlemen, I present to you with great pride the floating Mario head.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]