And now, to resume our previous piratey adventure.

Yoshi grinned stupidly as he sat back in his fancy tanooki-fur chair, watching his guests as the tavern around them began to fill with the sounds of arm-wrestling toads and smashing glass. (Just another day in pirate paradise!) Sipping his fruity concoction, he asked, "So you seriously had no idea?"
He had invited his three new visitors in for some real Yoshi's Island hospitality, and after dropping his atom bomb, Luigi had to be dragged inside by the collar like a limp noodle. Only now, seated around one of the many tables in Yoshi's Tavern, he was beginning to awaken at the scent of pineapples and unbathed pirate. (And you DON'T wanna get a whiff of that one, let me tell you.)
Mario, stirring a drink in indifference, shrugged. "No, but I don't think this really changes the situation. Just tell me that you have more rum."
"It's always about the rum with this guy," Yoshi replied with grin, chucking a bottle at him.
"And why wouldn't it be?" Mario asked, barely managing to avoid it smashing all over his head. "Rum is life, mates. When it comes down to the gold, or the rum, always choose the rum."
BJ sighed. "Okay guys, I understand you're busy getting drunk to high heaven, but I'm the customer, and the customer's always right! Can we talk about Bowser now?"
But just then Luigi, who had been slumped over the table like a dead person, shot up.
"Whuh... WHAT HAPPENED?! MOMMY!!" Luigi, as usual, managed to instantly make a scene of himself.
A bunch of brawny hammer bros in eyepatches stared over at them.
"Well good morning, Fluffyface... You slipped on your way down the ramp, face planted in a pile of sharp stones and got a concussion," Mario instantly greeted him. "But you only missed two years of your life, so we're all good."
"What?!"
"Mario," Yoshi scolded. "Have a little patience. The guy just found out that you're his long lost relative."
"What!?" Luigi repeated.
"Yeah... I love jokes, Yosh, but I still don't find your story very plausible," Mario said, leaning on the table and inspecting his bottle. "This guy is hardly anything like my swashing material, if you get me."
"Story? What story?" Luigi asked, head spinning. "You... You're joking, right? This is some sick joke. Because I never have had, and never will have, a brother. Much less a scallywag plunderer like this guy. Okay?"
Mario rolled his eyes. "Look, sorry mate, but Yoshi already explained everything during the break, so he doesn't need to do it again." (Curse commercial breaks!)
"What?? Explained what?" Luigi demanded.
Mario groaned. "Boy, you civilians can't take facts at face value. I am your BROTHER, mate. We had the same MOTHER. Is that so hard? Now go make yourself useful before we shove off."
"Wait," Luigi commanded, standing up and pushing the pirate back. "You can't just say something like that and walk off. I demand answers!!" He turned angrily. "You've got to be kidding. Yoshi!!"
"Yes," Yoshi said slowly, adjusting his pirate hat. "Well you see... I DID explain it all to Mario here during the break..."
Luigi's stare turned very deathish. "I'm not amused."
Yoshi chuckled. "Alright, don't get all worked up," he said. "It's perfectly logical, I promise. Just don't get mad..."
Taking a deep breath, Luigi sat back. "Tell me what I deserve to know."
Yoshi nodded. "Boy, you sure take it differently from Mario," he remarked.
Luigi nodded vigorously. "Oh yeah, Mario! You mean the hopelessly reckless guy I just met today in a jail cell? And now you're trying to tell me this?? This is highly impossible and extremely disheartening!"
"Thanks," Mario said sarcastically.
Luigi sighed. "No, what I mean is if you knew, why didn't you tell me ages ago?! Yoshi!"
"Please, I can explain," Yoshi said. "So you see, back when you were an infant - both of you - your mother was a good friend of mine. You know that."
Luigi nodded.
"But she was trying to raise twin babies in a difficult time," Yoshi went on, "and food was scarce. So after... you know, your father passed on... she asked me to do something for her."
Luigi paused, squinting suspiciously. "She never told me anything. She never told me I had a... wait, twin??"
Yoshi nodded. "Yes, that was the point. You see... the only way she could raise and support both of you was by essentially giving one of her children away."
Mario and Luigi glanced at each other. Mario shrugged.
"She gave one of her sons to me to watch over," Yoshi went on quietly. "And I guess you already know the rest."
Luigi put his hands to his head in emotional overwhelming.
Mario shrugged indifferently. "Yeah... Well, who am I to question my past? I can do what I want 'cuz a pirate is free, mate. There's nothing better like it! Clearly it was all for the better."
Luigi raised an eyebrow. "Well, I had no reason to think that I had a sibling," he scolded, "and I can't believe mother didn't tell me! Why did you keep it secret, if you knew?" he demanded of Yoshi. "Why... why??"
Yoshi sighed. "I know... your mother wanted you to know at some point. But as I saw you both grow up, so, so different... I almost felt that you would be incompatible. And I was afraid you might murder me for keeping it under wraps so long."
"Well, that's unavoidable now!!" Luigi hollered.
"It's a good thing I know you're joking," Yoshi grinned sheepishly.
"I was always just under the impression that my mother hated me and threw me into the ocean," Mario mused. "And then the sea goddess Rosalina saved me and turned me into... well, the rest is legend."
Yoshi decided to ignore that.
"Luigi, I really am glad you know," he said. "That's why I was so pleased to see you'd found each other on your own. Two such allied souls can't be kept apart forever!"
"Well, it wasn't exactly the most beautiful of meetings," Mario cut in. "And if you don't mind, whatever the truth, we've wasted enough time with this family junk. I've got to get the crew together, Yoshi," he explained. "BJ here needs to get out to Keelhaul Key."
"Keelhaul Key! What for?" Yoshi asked in amazement.
Mario shrugged. "Eh, angering the dead. Becoming immensely rich. Probably doing something stupid and life-threatening."
Yoshi grinned and elbowed him. "Well gee, what are we waiting for??"
As Mario and BJ began to explain the whole Crazy situation to Yoshi, Luigi sighed and wandered off to look around. So this was his brother's home... or the closest thing he'd ever had to one. It was nice... in a scandalous sort of way. (As in, it was filled with crazy-looking homeless people who looked like they wanted to hurt him.)
"Raised by pirates," Luigi snorted. "Out of my own knowledge!" Still... he couldn't help almost feeling a wave of sorrow for never having known him. It was hard to just accept that he wasn't a single child anymore; all of the sudden, he had a brother. An actual brother, not the perfect, awesome imaginary kind. He supposed that a part of him had always secretly wanted one; wondered what it would be like. But this guy was hardly what he would have imagined at all.
(Whoa. That just got deep there, guys.)
"Hey, bro. What do you think you're doing?" Mario's voice called.
Luigi glanced up. "What's it to you?"
Mario sighed and rolled his eyes. "You're gonna miss the briefing."
"Briefing? For your suicide mission? No thanks."
Mario swaggered up to him in a way that made him feel very irritated. "Hey. Luigi, right?" he asked. "I know that you're not exactly on board with this whole family thing, and the truth is neither am I. But that turtle baby said nothing happens by accident and by Boohemoth, I believe it. So why don't we both just stop thinking about the Crazy things our dead parents did and focus on Keelhaul Key! Ey, mate? I mean, you're here now, so maybe you can help."
Luigi raised astounded eyebrows. "You really don't care about any of your past, do you?"
Mario shrugged. "Mate, the way I see it, if you keep your eyes shut you can't get hurt."
"That doesn't make sense," Luigi replied. "I guess I'm the only one around here with common sense, aren't I?"
"What were you expecting, me to be a dorky carpenter too? No offense, mate. Besides, I'm the king of reason, remember?"
"How could I forget," Luigi rolled his eyes.
Mario grinned. "Now I wanted to give you something..." Reaching in his bag of piratey holding, he produced a small sword in a scant sheath. "Just something for keepsake. You know... for protection."
Luigi stared at it like it was day-old salami. "Are you kidding? I'm a carpenter, not a samurai."
Mario held it out. "Just take it," he hissed. "Like a gift, we'll call it. From... one brother to another?"
Luigi sighed and snatched it. "Don't say that out loud," he scolded. "It makes me feel weird."
"I'm trying." Mario grinned casually and shrugged at no one. "That strap goes around your waist, in case you didn't know."
Luigi looked the weapon over and paused. "Wait. Are you asking me to join your crew?"
Mario shrugged again and kept grinning irritatingly. "Well you're not here by accident, Fluffyface."
Luigi frowned. "Okay, first off, I don't seem to be the only one in the family with a fluffy face," he pointed out smugly. "And second, I'm not a pirate! I can't just traipse all over kingdom come in a boat with you and a turtle kid with an obsession for internal organs!"
"Alright, look, mate," Mario turned to him semi-seriously. "It's not all over kingdom come. Keelhaul Key is just a few hours away from here. And I know how to get there."
"Doesn't matter! I don't go on adventures, I'm... I can't swordfight! Who am I gonna be swordfighting anyway?!"
"Well right now, I guess that would be me," Mario replied, reaching for the hilt on his own belt. "I think we have time for a little training before shoving off."
Luigi started. "Excuse me?!"
"You know. Training. You said you didn't know how to use the blade, so let's fix that! Pull her out of the sheath. If I can do it, you can," he teased.
"Don't be ridiculous," Luigi grumbled, but did as he was told, handling it like it was a rattlesnake. "I'm not actually gonna use this thing," he complained. "And it's kinda heavy..."
"Look mate, you really have no choice but to come along," Mario told him, "and if I cared a hair less, I wouldn't be teaching you any tricks. It should be an honor, savvy?"
"So. You want to turn me into a Crazy, self-absorbed killer? Isn't that a problem?" Luigi snorted. "No thanks!"
Mario was already twirling his ruby-studded rapier like some Olympian. "Mate, it's all in your outlook. The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?"
Luigi opened his mouth to reply, but Mario had moved on.
"How'd you like my beauty, mate? I call her Il Rossore. Means reddish." He showed off his shiny weapon.
"Let me guess... because it's killed tons of people?" Luigi asked.
Mario frowned. "No, because of her rubies! You don't get it."
Luigi rolled his eyes. "I get that I'm about to be stabbed by it."
"Don't be so negative! Now stand like me. ...Like ME, not some bow-legged ostrich! And hold it confidently, this isn't an old lady's walking stick. Now... "
As that rather arduous lesson commenced, the rest of the tavern began to bustle with the movement of sailors and pirates preparing for departure. Yoshi stood atop a table near Birdo, shouting orders to his crew.
"Arm the cannons! Grab the spare sails! I want both ships ready to sail by sunset!"
"Uh, sir... sunset was an hour ago," a raggedy toad spoke up.
"Oh... then, have it done in 20 minutes! We shove to Keelhaul Key!!"
"I shove to the rum stores!" shouted a shy guy.
"I shove my idiot coworker!" shouted a hammer bro, shoving a toad.
"Shut the chatter before I shove you off the plank!" Yoshi replied.
"So you're off to the high seas again, huh darling?" Birdo turned to him.
"Well, you know how Captain Mario is," Yoshi grinned. "Don't tell him I said this, but the dude's lost without me! Like literally. He was missing for like five months."
"Yes, he certainly is a rash man... did he ever tell you about it?" Birdo asked.
"Not yet... but I had no doubt he would return," Yoshi replied, watching at a distance as the captain clashed swords with his brother. Every so often he would grin and step back as he praised the novice.
Suddenly Yoshi chuckled. "I have a feeling he's got much more important things to think about now."

Twenty one minutes later, three small ships sailed from the cove out of Yoshi's Island. The Duke led the way, and the two smaller ships, the S. S. Brass and the S. S. Boollion took up the sides. Yoshi had divided his best crewmen among the two - which really wasn't saying much - while he remained with Mario on the Duke.
Now, standing out on the front deck, he was concluding a few introductions. "All the toads on the boat you can call Pete, except for that red guy who you can call Tom," he was saying. "And all the shy guys are Bob. Oh, and that blue pianta is Bill. Any questions?"
"Uh... " said Luigi.
"And this here's my second in command," Yoshi continued. "Lakitu the Grouchy. He's kinda like our storyteller dude."
Luigi awkwardly shook hands with him.
"So is it true you all have the heart..?" Lakitu asked, adjusting his pirate hat.
"Hey, watch your mouth!" BJ warned, clutching the small casket like a baby.
Lakitu was unfazed. "So is it true the captain has a brother? Which one of ye is older?"
Mario and Luigi paused and turned to Yoshi. "Hey, that's a good question, mate," Mario said. "Yoshi?"
"Oh yes, Mario's the older one," Yoshi said. "Means he's a natural leader!"
"I knew it," Mario said.
Luigi rolled his eyes. "Oh brother."
BJ came to stand by Mario by the wheel, and Yoshi joined them. "Alright scallawags, we set sail! For Keelhaul Key!!" Yoshi shouted.
"Right!! For Keelhaul - wait what??" The crew chorused.
"Never mind that!!" BJ hollered.
Mario turned the ship so hard that the entire crew went flying into the siding. (Insert hearty pirate laugh here.)
"On the sea again!" he sighed happily.

Many Crazy hours of being on the sea again later, the night had become spangled with stars over the ocean.
"Like fireflies over a dirty mirror," Mario remarked to Luigi, probably thinking he was poetic.
Many crew members had wrestled and sang themselves silly until they were all passed out on the deck, like flies. The two accompanying ships of Yoshi's were still following, by some miracle considering the hooligans who were on them.
Luigi had primarily stayed on deck with Mario and Yoshi, while BJ went inside to guard his live treasure. For a couple of hours they had passed the trip in awkward conversation.
"So how long have you been able to sail?" Luigi asked.
"Since I was four, mate," Mario replied. "Yoshi knows it's true."
"Then how'd you become this... famous captain?"
Mario grinned smugly. "Oh I don't know, these things just happen," he said. "I believe it comes with angering multiple governments. First I was fighting with some general guy after that golden tanooki that supposedly grants wishes. Then there was that psycho koopa lady who tried to turn me to stone after the Beanish folk found out I accidentally sank their entire cargo fleet... and then of course I stole the jewels of King Boo. Successfully, I might add."
Luigi frowned. "But isn't that the same treasure that cursed Bowser for all eternity?"
"Supposedly, mate. But there can only be one doorman for the Underwhere, and that role was already taken."
Yoshi nodded. "Yes, but you need to be careful, captain," he reminded. "If this kid really plans to break the curse, there's no telling what could happen."
"Look, I don't HAVE the treasure anymore, alright? It's no issue," Mario snapped.
They all fell silent for a second, until Yoshi said, "Just remember, Mario. If you get into trouble... don't forget you have the power to call the sea goddess."
Mario said nothing, staring straight ahead.
At Luigi's great confusion, Yoshi turned to him and said, "You see, Mario's one of the nine great pirate captains of the Caribbooan, and -
"Shh!" Mario interrupted rudely, squinting into the fog. "Something's ahead."
"R-really?" Luigi asked. "Is it... the Flaming Titan?"
Mario shook his head. "Don't know, mate, but it's right outside Keelhaul Key."
For a second they all strained to see, until Yoshi said, "Seems like we're not the only ones coming out here."
They waited a second, and then a strange sound, like an elephant baby with pneumonia, faintly reached them across the water.
"What was that?" Luigi asked nervously. "Did you hear that?"
"No, I've cotton in my ears - of course I did!" Yoshi replied. "Sounded like a.. warning bugle. Someone's definitely out there."
But Mario, all this time, had fallen very silent. He waited for the noise to come again, and when it did, it was much louder.
"Oh no," Mario muttered to himself. "Daisy!"
Surprised, both of his companions looked at him. "Who's Daisy?" Luigi asked.
"Ehh.. a woman I knew from the Sarasaland territory," he replied coolly. "Why?"
Luigi backed off and shrugged.
"That sounded like her bugle," Yoshi said under his breath.
Just then BJ popped up in the middle of them all. "IS IT THE FLAMING TITAN?!?" he hollered in their ears.
Mario frowned in annoyance at him. "No, it's yo mama's old rowboat," he grouched. "Now leave this to me mate, you hear? Yoshi, take the wheel." With that he jumped up and ran to the spotter's deck.
"Whaddaya see?" he shouted to the shy guy who was called Bob.
"Huh?" Bob, who had been asleep with his eyehole sticking right into the spyglass, jerked up. "Uhh... nothing sir! Quiet as a... HOLY MOTHER OF MILKED MUSHROOMS!!"
Mario, out of patience, had already climbed up top with him. Snatching the spyglass, he bonked Bob on the head with it and then leaned over the edge, squinting suspiciously. The fog was clearing, being lit up by dawn's first light.
Meanwhile, the guys down on the deck were staring in like manner. Yoshi was bringing the ship to a halt.
"That's strange..." he mused. "It almost looks like -
"A ship," Luigi said.
"No, it almost looks like -"
"MY BABY!!" Mario suddenly shrieked from above, like a deranged mother. With careless abandon, he suddenly grabbed a close-hanging rope and swung down to the deck, landing in a crazed huff right in front of them all.
"You pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpieces, show yourselves!!" he shouted at the water.
Luigi, wide-eyed, covered BJ's ears. Then Yoshi covered Luigi's.
Finally, after an awkward minute of silence, Yoshi spoke up, "Um, Captain? What's going on?"
Mario stood there rigidly for another minute before turning to them. He had a roguish look in his eye that could only mean bad things.
"Get the buffoons on deck. It's her," he growled. "The Scarlet Fire!"
"What?" Yoshi gasped. "What is it doing here?"
"Never mind, Yoshi!" the moody human barked, laying a hand on his hilt and facing the water. Luigi stared in silent awe at the pirate he now saw, standing tall and noble, coat flapping in the wind like he had mastered the art of epic posing. Except, y'know... he wasn't actually tall.
Mario glanced at him for half a second. "You, Weegie. Look alive!"
Luigi stared in confusion until he realized what he meant. Slowly and reluctantly reaching for his sword, he asked, "Does anyone here have an idea what's going on?"
"You never do with Captain Mario," Yoshi murmured to him. "That's part of why his plans usually succeed."
Meanwhile, the ship they had seen approaching had now come up alongside theirs, showing herself to be a good deal larger than the Duke; and its scarlet red sails and gilded siding were ornamented with flames. Now, they could see koopas and goombas and boos peeking into view: another pirate crew.
A pair of boos on the opposite ship gasped when it caught sight of them. "Oh crag, it's him...!"
"I thought he was dead!"
"Well maybe we didn't try to kill him hard enough-
"Shhh!" The other scolded.
Mario stared across the water, undaunted. "Ahoy!! You there!!! Where is the captain of that vessel?" he shouted.
"What's it to ya?" Came a nasally response.
"I demand to speak with your captain, and that you return my ship at once!!" Mario bellowed.
Luigi and BJ traded glances. "His ship?"
Mario stared menacingly as silence reigned for ten long awkward seconds. Luigi shifted his feet. BJ fiddled with his ponytail.
A toad called Pete picked his nonexistent nose.
There was no response for a long while from the new ship.
And then all Crazy broke loose.
In the blink of an eye, someone extended a plank, reaching it precariously across to the Duke's railing. Like a pack of wild chain chomps at a bacon convention, the pirate band poured across onto the Duke, led by a few deranged boonatics in eyepatches.
"Come on scallawags, we've got 'im!" The boo, Boo B. Hatch, hollered over his shoulder. The wave of koopas and goombas swarmed the deck, and like two tidal waves hitting each other they clashed right into Yoshi's band.
Suddenly it was complete pandemonium aboard the Duke. A handful of toads were tossed in the air, getting caught by their clothes up in the masts so that they swayed like nickers set out to dry. From far above, they watched the Brawl unload like in some crazy 80's movie.
The pianta, Bill, tore off his nonexistent shirt and slugged a pile of goombas with an armful of muscles. They flew into the wheel, which sent the Duke momentarily jolting so that it almost crashed right into the S. S. Boollion. It was all Yoshi could do to hold on to sanity.
The shy guys called Bob had all climbed into the crow's nest, where they had pulled out their preferred weapons of bananashooters. (They're like peashooters, but they have bananas... somehow.)
That rain of bananas began to cascade down onto a bunch of boos, who used their tiny swords to slice them up into goo. They were so effective at the fruit slicing that they completely protected themselves and sent all the goo flying onto a couple of other idiots nearby, who slipped and wallowed in it like a couple of foobs.
"WAH-!" Waluigi screeched above the uproar, but Tom the toad slammed a lifesaver over his head and tied him to the mast.
The rest of the toads had formed into a kind of compact unit, and they were taking turns rolling into big mushroom balls and hurling themselves at the incoming koopas, like bowling pins. They scattered like bowling pins and their koopa shells went shooting all over the Duke, like a thousand marbles in motion on your kitchen floor.
Wario tripped on them and face planted into a bucket of old mop water. Then a shy guy came and Vader-bombed him by jumping from the observation deck.
BJ, meanwhile, ran in circles shrieking, trying to make his way safely to the captain's quarters. He made it there eventually, but only after he dodged a bunch of koopa shells and raining bananas and live bowling balls and clashing swords. (He would later go on to get a Ph. D in the art of ninja-anity.)
A tough-looking koopa with a bandanna and a couple of angryish boos, Taboo and Boonswoggle, drew their swords and moved in to surround Luigi, who they had cornered.
"Well well, what have we got here?" the koopa snarled. "If it isn't a lily-livered commoner!"
"Save the pleading, human," Taboo instructed, holding a broadsword to his throat. "We're here for live prisoners."
Luigi, trembling in shock, drew his sword, despite having trouble keeping his footing with the rocking ship. The boos, who could float, had a stupefying advantage.
"Please just don't lick me!" he pleaded.
The two boos looked at each other. "Why does everyone assume that boos like to lick people?"
There was an awkward moment of silence. The koopa raised his eyebrows, unimpressed.
Taboo glanced around awkwardly. "Oh... yeah."
Mario, who had been busy kicking goombas like footballs and letting them bounce off the sails, warning them with his rapier if anyone came too close, glanced up and saw what was happening. Somehow he was right behind Luigi in a flash.
"Luigi, look!" Mario called, and without warning lifted him from his feet. From his higher vantage Luigi was easily able to kick the swords right out of the boos' hands and land on the deck a free man.
Mario brandished his sword and grinned, stepping forward. "Just like practice, right?" he asked as he forced a koopa back with his blade.
"Oh yeah... just like," Luigi replied, keeping his back to Mario's to face the oncoming wave. Still, he almost couldn't help grinning.
Bill the pianta picked up some full barrels of water and sent them rolling across the deck, steamrolling over some goombas in the process. The boo pirate band dodged them and flitted over to the stern where Mario was.
"Captain Mario! But you're dead!" Exclaimed the boo, Booluga. He was chubbier than the rest of them, weighing 20 ectoplasmic pounds more.
"Surprise," Mario grinned, jumping forward to clash blades. "Need I remind you, my traitorous crew, that Captain Super Mario never dies?!"
Yoshi, who was clinging to the wheel for dear life, was being tortured by every distraction and hindrance you can pretty much imagine, having to duck and dance and jump like a fish out of water. As such, the Duke was thrashing around like a kindergartner doing the potty dance, sending pirates and idiots flying everywhere.
Suddenly Waluigi slipped in more bananas and floundered across the deck until he ran smack into Yoshi, causing the Duke to sway massively to the side. A wave of koopas and goombas and a pile of Waluigi went slinging towards the railing. Most of them finally fell off into the water.
Then a banana hit Waluigi in the head. "Hey..." he said, holding it. "This fruit... it... it can give you vitamin c!! Whatever that is."
Then Wario went flying by overhead with a lifesaver stuck on him and cannonballed right into the ocean.
Meanwhile, Mario slammed into the railing as he fended off a couple of persistently tricky boos.
"Give it up, scoundrel!" Booreguard demanded. "We've got you outnumbered, and the captain would looove to see your pretty head again!"
"Yeah, just the head," Boonswoggle added, "nothing attached."
Mario grinned defiantly. "Oh I'll bet she would!" Twisting away, he jumped backwards up onto the railing, somehow balancing there before glancing across the water. "But nothing'll keep me from getting my baby back!"
The boos snorted and watched as the pirate jumped like some videogame character and snatched the low-hanging rope that was conveniently there. Pausing for a second to scope out his move, he spotted something on the deck of the Scarlet Fire and nearly jumped.
"Knot my britches, it's a blondie!" he exclaimed, catching sight of the strange young woman he could suddenly see on the opposite deck. As if losing any caution for anything, he ran and leapt, swinging across the big gap of ocean between the two ships like a deranged monkey.
Unfortunately, the rope wasn't long enough and he had to let go.
Fortunately, he flew through the air and somehow landed up on the ship's mast.
Clinging to the scarlet sails, he turned and shouted, "Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again."
A voice behind him chuckled. "Fear not captain, surely we did. Just as reckless as ever, are we - I'd hate to see you disappoint."
Mario whirled to see the woman in a short piratey dress leaning against the mainstay, with the monkey perched menacingly on her neck. It leered at him.
"Daisy," Mario growled sweetly. "It's been a long time."
"Not long enough, my ravishing rapscallion," she hissed. "You should be sleeping sweet where we left you - and yet, I've never been so pleased to meet you again."
"Oh, you mean where you dumped me on the Forgotten Isle?" Mario snapped, drawing his sword. "Well you made one mistake when you betrayed me, sweetheart: you can't outsmart Captain Super Mario!"
Daisy rolled her eyes. "You are hardly a captain of anything worth talking of, hotshot."
"I'm the captain of this vessel just as sure as you're my former first mate!" Mario growled. "Now surrender my baby now, or things will get ugly."
Daisy laughed. "Me, surrender? I think you're mistaken, captain. It's you who should take this last chance at redemption!"
With that they lunged, each bringing swords up to meet the other. Epic music swelled as Daisy jumped down to the same bar as him, meeting him head on; and there up on the high masts they balanced, somehow dodging each other's advances while engrossed in their swordfight. Yoshi's crew on the Duke, who was watching, started cheering. Luigi, watching with Yoshi, just stared. "That's my brother?"
Yoshi nodded. "Oh yeah, you get used to it."
Boo. B. Hatch, who had flown to the deck of the Scarlet Fire, looked up at them in exasperation.
"Why do you people always insist on fighting up there!?" he hollered.
As that sky-high duel continued, Daisy suddenly got a quick, well-timed slash in that just sliced at Mario's cheek. Staring at the red that trickled onto his hand, he remarked, "Now there's what I call some real scarlet fire."
"Poor Mario - not so nice in reality, is it?" Daisy taunted. "Like my new blade? I call it Sweet Revenge."
Mario gave a lopsided smile. "Revenge doesn't always last, sugar." And with that, he grabbed a nearby sail and rode it downwards to the deck, like a giant banner in his wake. He landed with both feet and straightened up, brushing his jacket off. "And I did it all with my coat on," he bragged. Taking a deep breath, he glanced around at the ship and laughed.
The Scarlet Fire was practically empty, and thankfully just as wonderful and smelly as he remembered it; until he turned around.
Tied there in a corner was the blonde young woman he'd seen.
"Woah," Mario remarked. "My baby came with a baby!"
The girl stared at him in something like terror. She had long yellow hair that was windblown and wore a lacy blue dress that looked a bit dirty. That didn't deter Mario, however.
He was at her side in an instant, pulling her up by the arm. Just like that he had slashed through the ropes and snatched her hand.
"Hey blondie, the name's Captain Mario," he said. "What's yours?"
"Y-you are a pirate," she breathed. "A conniving scoundrel like the rest of them!" she pulled away.
Mario drew closer. "That's the thing - these guys stole my ship, honey; I'm just getting my baby back. Now who might you be?"
Inching away, she finally stammered, "Peach."
Mario's eyes widened a hair. "Peach? ... As in... you're the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom??"
Holding her breath, she nodded faintly. "Oh pray sir, do not sell me! For a ransom my father Toadsworth will -
"Woah, hold on a second, princess," Mario interrupted. "I'm not trying to sell you. Why would I want to do that?" He made as if to kiss her cheek but she yanked against his hand and gasped. "Why you filthy rogue!" she said. "I shall not kiss you, rescued or no! In fact I find your presence highly overbearing, captain."
Mario grinned. "You'll change your mind, darling. We should sail away someplace," he offered. "Come sail away with me!"

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Peach grimaced slightly, but soon gave way to a sigh. "You are intensely crass and bold, Captain Mario."
"Well you can't blame a pirate for never having seen a princess before."
Before that awkward conversation could go further, Daisy's voice rang out. "Diddy! Secure the prisoner!"
In a flash, the monkey jumped forward and landed on Peach's shoulders, giving her hair a yank. Peach was so startled she screamed.
"So princess, I see you two have met," Daisy observed as she stalked over. "It's quite funny, really - it's his fault you're even here!"
Peach frowned in confusion. "What do you mean by this?"
Daisy laughed. "That jewel on your dress, princess - I need it. It's the last piece of King Boo's treasure."
"What?" Peach gasped, staring at the sapphire brooch. "But I was only given this a few days ago, by a merchant from Toad Town!"
"Yes, well, perhaps Captain Mario would like to share his side of the story," Daisy grinned.
Mario stared at the jewel. "Uh... you found it!" he exclaimed. "Well... I guess I sold it... to a guy in Toad Town as soon as I busted out of Forgotten Isle... and then he sold it to... the princess??" he squeaked.
"What do you speak of??" Peach asked in alarm.
Daisy sighed. "Oh, codfish. Mario and I used to be partners," she explained grouchily.
"Co workers," Mario corrected sternly. "I was the boss!!"
Daisy ignored him. "Several months ago we stole the legendary treasure of King Boo, which rested in the grotto right here in Keelhaul Key," she explained. "Then..."
"Then this wretch stabbed me in the back and stranded me alone on the Forgotten Isle, stealing my crew and my baby!!" Mario snapped.
Daisy once again ignored him. "I took command of the Scarlet Fire and sailed to spend the treasure," she went on. "But a terrible truth came to us as soon as night fell, and we found... that a curse indeed still lay over the jewels. For whenever the sun sets, we turn to corpses, old and boney - like the undead from their graves."
Peach covered her mouth in horror.
"This affected all but the boos, of course - who are dead already, I suppose...?" Daisy shrugged. "Anyway, it didn't flatter the rest of us as dry bones."
Mario crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "They say that if you were to return the treasure," he continued, "with a drop of the blood of the one who stole it, the curse would be lifted. However..." He turned to the brooch on Peach's dress, "I had very cleverly kept one piece myself."
Peach slapped his hand away before he could grab it.
Daisy frowned. "I assumed as much soon after we realized it wasn't working," she said. "So we went back to Forgotten Isle to retrieve it, only to find him gone." She gritted her teeth.
Mario stroked the feather in his hat. "Don't underestimate me, mate," he said. "I escaped that place and sold the jewel in Toad Town first chance I got. The curse had a nasty effect on me too." He stroked his cheek and shuddered. "Good thing no one saw me."
Daisy snorted. "And when we finally discovered weeks later that it had been sold to the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, what do you expect me to do?" she demanded. "So we're here, princess. Hand it over and this will all be fine."
Peach backed up. "It did not curse me," she said.
"That's because you didn't steal it, doll," Mario said. "King Boo is evil, but surprisingly polite." For an unknown reason, he shuddered.
Peach raised her head. "Well... I hardly perceive why I ought to assist pirates with the calamity they have brought upon themselves."
Suddenly Daisy tilted her head. "Hey... wait a moment! I've thought of something even better."
Turning to Mario, she said, "You return the treasure."
"What?"
"You heard me, captain. You have pleasantly provided your presence, so go seal the deal!"
"Why me?"
"Because this is just as much your fault as mine, I don't care about you so you're expendable, and you already have a bleeding wound which I so thoughtfully provided. Now go!" Daisy shooed him. "You have to finish what you start - pirates' code."
Mario snorted. "The code is more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules."
Daisy drew her rapier.
"Alright, fine! But you come with me, savvy?"
Daisy groaned and nodded. "Alright - only to make sure you don't blow it!!"
She turned to Peach. "I shall require that jewel from you, your highness."
"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request," she replied.
"Then I shall presently entreat the crew to confiscate it from your possession," Daisy said. "And you shall need to mollify your convictions - they are quite superfluous."
With a shaky breath, Peach took the brooch and handed it over.
Mario, meanwhile, groaned in disgust. "Why can't women learn how to speak?"

AAAAGHH IM SO SORRY!! I had to split it again!
I didn't actually intend to turn this into our first 3-part story, but this came out so long I decided to just publish it in two. So, feel free to read the end whenever.
I hope you're able to enjoy it despite all my obvious issues...!
And the next episode, I promise, will be so short you won't know what hit you.
;)