Kian got himself a strong drink and joined Audrey by the railing overlooking the pit of the club.

He rested his back on the iron bars beside his roommate and sipped on his whiskey. They made small talk as the techies cleared the stage and reset it for the closing event, then the light went down, and the sound of the band warming up clattered over the crowd.

If I still find you among the crowd, standing by me, I will know that we are done being cowards.

Enzo's words rang in his ears as the lights came up slowly, purple, green, and red, covering in strobing pools over the stage. Then a spotlight lanced through the gloom to illuminate the lead singer. This time it wasn't the golden boy. It was Enzo owning the show.

Kian's heart stopped.

"You've just met him backstage. Stop leering at the boy like that. I admit he's one fine-ass piece of a man." Audrey spoke into his ear, then chuckled while sipping her LIIT.

And that's the problem. Kian wanted to say, but instead, he found himself frozen on the spot, one hand clutching his third whiskey, the other gripping the railing in a fist so tight his knuckles turned white. Enzo kissed him, and this time neither of them was intoxicated.

Kian turned toward Audrey and sighed. "We kissed again."

"What? You kissed him again?" She looked at him as if he had sprouted horns. "You need to take some serious lessons on self-control, Kian Advani."

Kian turned away, facing the pit again. "I said 'we kissed', not 'I kissed'."

Audrey choked on her drink. "Oh, shit. So, I was right all along." She looked from Kian to Enzo, who Kian knew for sure, might have already created a trance in the crowd surrounding him, but he dared not to turn and face him. Not yet. "Wait. Isn't that a good thing? I mean, that's what you've always wanted. Why the wary face now?"

"You don't understand." He drained his rock glass and shook it. "You know what? I need another drink." He turned away to escape to the bar.

Audrey grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around to face her. "Then make me understand this, Kay. You're not running away from this any more than you already have. Now, let me ask you one simple question. He's the one who reached out to you after two years. Yes?" Kian gave her a small nod. "And you're in love with him. I can see that much so I'm not asking you to confess it to me. The question is, does he know? Did you tell him that?"

"He has always been into girls, Audrey. I know him. What if he is confused because of the kiss? What if he is mixing our friendship for feelings? It might as well be just a phase for him, but I have grown up living this feeling. I can't settle for anything less than forever with him." Kian licked his lips and squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to turn towards the stage. "It's impossible, Audi. Impossible. Not unless he fits in the same world as me. He can't be his old self and develop this new feeling for me. One day he will wake up and realize what he wants in a lover, and I fear he won't find that in me."

"No, you can't decide that, Kay. Nothing is impossible when it comes to true love. If he is taking a step forward even though this isn't his way, then I call this love and not just a phase. It may seem impossible now, but you will never know if there is a chance unless you let it happen."

Kian looked at the ceiling, refusing to shed the tears that clogged his eyes. When he had control over his voice, he said, "He is leaving the states tomorrow. His world is so different from mine. I don't-"

She cut him off with a palm over his mouth and turned him towards the pit. "This is your one true chance at love, Kian. Go down there and embrace it with all your heart. If this night is all you have, then make the most of it, and I'll be by your side tomorrow in case you need someone's shoulder to cry." She gave his shoulder a firm squeeze. "Don't just watch him from the sidelines. Take a step towards him. Walk to him."

Kian shook his head, but when he lifted his eyes, he met with Enzo's. He was drumming to a metal number, setting the feel of his music, and his eyes stayed on Kian. Then it was Kian who moved away from the railing and down the spiral staircase, making his way through the jostling, moshing crowd to the very front of the stage and staring up at him. With his head held high, his hands firmly at his sides, and his heart on his sleeves, Kian finally stood by the boy he loved, and this time there was no shame, no denial and certainly no cowardice.

The song ended with a soul-deep ballad, "If I Love You My Way", in a haunting guitar refrain under-leveled grumble of snare-drum taps and buzzing jazz-like bass. Enzo sang the entire song, sitting behind his drums, his skilled hands playing the drums and his eyes locked on Kian's.

Kian looked at him unwavering, watching a bead of sweat run down his damp curls to drip off his sharp nose, then another run down from behind his ear, glistening under the flickering light. Enzo had changed into a plain black t-shirt sans the sleeves which stayed glued to his carved body just like the pair of leather pants hugged his legs. His thick, toned arms glistened with sweat and moved untamed on the drums as he breathed and sang, the sheen of sweat teasing, tantalizing.

Kian used all his restraint not to jump up on the stage, finish what Enzo started, lick the sweat from his skin and smooth those sweaty strands back in place. He wanted to hold his hands. He wanted to kiss him breathless in front of everyone and declare that he was in love with the boy.

He gasped, realizing he was fantasizing about Enzo right in the middle of the moshing crowd, with Enzo watching him. Kian turned his gaze down, smiling all flustered, biting a laugh on his knuckles and shaking his head.

When Kian glanced up at Enzo again, he found the boy transfixed, his eyes zoned on Kian, the cords in his neck standing out, his hands gripping the drumsticks with straining tendons as he sang the final chorus of the ballad with the group in his deep, rich voice.

Then after another driving metal song, mostly chugging bass and snare-drum taps, with a rap feat, their set finally ended. Enzo left the stage with the rest of his band members but not before a backward glance at Kian and mouthing backstage.

Kian flushed a deep shade of red as a few heads from the crowd turned his way, with jealous sneers from the ones who'd wanted Enzo's attention for themselves. When Kian reached backstage, the security guard didn't stop him. Instead, it appeared he was waiting for him. He led him to the door, knocked like before, and ushered Kian through.

There on the posh leather couch, Enzo sat with one arm slung casually across the back, one leg stretched out and the hand gripping his sweaty black t-shirt in a tight fist. Watching his bare torso did whole new things to Kian's heart, soul, and body.

He stopped with his back against the door, and his hands fisted to his sides. His breaths matched the intensity with which Enzo was breathing, ragged and fast.

Enzo rose from the couch and took one measured step at a time, closing the gap between them. He licked his lips and opened them as if to say something, but Kian was done for words already. He covered the rest of the three feet between them and pulled the boy holding the back of his head and neck. His lips met Enzo's in desperate want.

They both gasped into the kiss. Their bodies felt so in place against each other. Enzo tasted of sweat, cold water, and so very familiar. His hands curled around Enzo's naked torso, loving the feel of his warm skin on his fingertips, his other hand burying in his sweaty curls near his ear. This kiss was sweet, rough, and needy, and they both leaned into it together. Afterward, Kian let his forehead fall against Enzo, his unsteady breaths harsh upon Enzo's lips.

"Sorry," Kian said.

"For the kiss?"

"Fuck, no. But I can't seem to have enough self-control around you. I've been wanting to do that ever since I saw you perform on stage for the first time and none of those imaginations involved assaulting you backstage."

Enzo stared at Kian's mouth with a new passion unleashing in his darkened eyes, and Kian found himself desperately wanting to taste Enzo again. "You've been imagining about us?"

"Yes, and often, and I'm not ashamed to accept it now." In his time, he'd picked up dozens of girls and boys. He had never been this terrified of touching them.

"So, it wasn't a mistake then?" Enzo had his mischievous smile back on, and Kian had to admit that it looked absolutely killer on his devilishly handsome face.

"No." Kian reached for Enzo's hands, and Enzo didn't pull away. "God, Enz. If we do this, there's no going back."

Enzo grinned. "There's already no going back."

"Careful," Kian warned him, a little sourly. "Don't you fucking dare say shit like that. Unless you mean it."

"I meant it, Kiki." Then he leaned in and placed his hands on the door near Kian's head. "But if me declaring how much I want you back makes you want to kiss me, then I can keep going."

Kian spun him around, trapping Enzo's lean body against the door, his hands trapping the boy in his place. "I want to do far more than kiss you, Enz."

Enzo lifted his chin to gaze up at Kian, his palms caressing the stubbles on Kian's scalp at the back of his head. Kian was drowning blissfully in the heat of Enzo's gaze. "What else do you want to do?"

"I want..." Kian dropped his forehead against Enzo and sighed. "I want to watch you play those drums on stage again. I want to cheer you from the crowd and watch you live your dreams. I want to take you out on a dinner date and hold your hand in public. I want to stand by you when you need a friend. I want to be part of your life like before."

"I want nothing less," Enzo gasped. "I want everything you just mentioned and more. But first, I want you to take me out of here."

"Yeah, I want that too." Kian slid an arm around his waist and pulled him close. He kissed Enzo tenderly, slow and exploring, treasuring.

Then he put his lips to Enzo's ear and whispered, "Put on your t-shirt, Rockstar. You can take it off once we are at my place."

***

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