As the weeks marched past, the winter snow melted into spring blossoms, and the horizon morphed from a dull amber to a lush green. After three months of being cooped up in an underground lab making tonics, potions, and poultices with Axa, my heart rejoiced at the thought of fresh air and sunshine.

I donned on my emerald green ankle-length surcoat and light cotton long-sleeved chemise. A bit optimistic perhaps considering the cool breeze, but I was so ready for spring. After lacing up my leather boots, I grabbed my leather satchel and met Axa in the castle foyer.

Axa opened the castle gates with a flourish and inhaled a deep breath as the sun shone on her polished scales and horns. As usual, she wouldn't be caught dead in a dress of any kind and wore the traditional leather garb of a Dragonborn warrior instead.

"Yes, the willow bark should be ready by now," she said with a nod.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I turned my head towards the sun and inhaled the morning air. I smelled nothing, of course, except a hint of cherry. "Can you smell it from here?"

"Don't be silly, Helena. I checked it a few days ago," she said, turning to me with a crooked smile. "I'm a Dragonborn, not a Goddess."

"Oh."

With a faint blush, I followed her down the stone steps, through the manicured parkland, and into the dense treeline. The sun cast mottled patterns of gold along the forest floor, illuminating the yellow, red, and brown leaves strewn across the ground from the previous fall. We passed through an avenue of oaks, whose branches intertwined overhead and formed a dense canopy of light-green leaves.

"We gotta go through here for a thousand paces before we reach the willow sanctuary," Axa said.

"I've been here for five months," I said, my voice filled with wonder, "and yet I haven't explored everything this place has to offer."

"Oh, you ain't seen nothing," Axa replied. "Whole areas of the gardens are hidden by magic. And you ain't even been to the training grounds where the young warriors fight."

"No, I haven't," I said with a grunt.

"You know, you ain't gotta be so stubborn," Axa said. "You're only hurting yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"There's only so much I can teach you," she replied. "You gotta learn the magical side of healing from Lord Darius. Study magic with him, and he told me he'd let you train with the warriors in exchange."

"We already talked about this," I growled. "I've had enough of his so-called magic. No, thanks."

"Suit yourself," Axa said with a shrug. "But you ain't gonna get away with making marigold teas and honey poultices forever."

"Why not?" I asked. "You can heal people without magic."

"Why do you think the Gatál are replacing me?" she growled in reply. "Anyway, I'm a kick-ass warrior who trains every evening when you guys are playing your games."

"Yeah, I've seen you whenever we take breaks. I've never seen anyone fight like that!"

She halted in her tracks, and I almost bumped into her. "If they replace you, that's it. Unlike me, you ain't got nothing else to offer them. That's bad news."

I took a deep breath. "You make a good point."

Axa narrowed her eyes at me. "If you give up on your magic, Lord Hesse will give up on you, and you don't want that to happen--trust me."

I shuddered as past memories crept along the edges of my consciousness. The bloody rug of death. Rows of Dragonborn and Gatál warriors saluting their dark master. The barrage of arrows headed towards me and the slaughter of guards in retaliation.

My mother's shield would protect me from weapons and magic, but not from the fists of Lord Hesse's goons. If five months with Axa had taught me anything, it was the fortitude and strength of Dragonborn warriors. I wouldn't stand a chance against any of them, male or female.

"Lord Darius is very concerned about you," she continued.

The hair rose on the back of my neck when Axa mentioned his name, but my traitorous heart thudded. "That surprises me. I haven't seen him since the first week I arrived." 

"Because you told him to stay away, and he can't do anything half-ass."

A raven flew overhead and landed on an oak branch in front of me. His red eyes gleamed like tiny stars as he observed me.

Cocking his head to one side, he croaked, "Work. Work."

"Yeah, yeah, we're going," Axa growled at the bird. "Damned sentries. Can't get a moment's peace."

"Time ... runs ... short," the raven replied.

"Sentries?" I asked, wide-eyed. "Do you mean the bird is watching us?"

"No, he is."

"Lord Darius?" I hissed in an angry whisper.

"He has familiars that report back to him. Ravens outside. That black cat inside."

"Shadow is his familiar?" I asked with a gasp. "That cat followed me from room to room all winter long."

"Why do you think we call him Shadow?" Axa said with a toothy grin.

My thoughts raced as I recalled a dozen embarrassing memories. Every time my tears fell, Shadow would nuzzle my arm or wrap his paw around my leg. Shadow curled up by my feet and guarded me when I had a cold, hissing at anyone who annoyed me. The poor black cat's ears lay flat against his head when I failed to hold a single note of my favorite song just this morning.

"Son of a--"

"Now, do you believe me?"

As I stared at the bird, I couldn't decide whether Lord Darius' constant watch was kind, creepy, or kind of creepy. Maybe it was my fault. Our stalemate didn't make face-to-face communication very easy.

My mind raced, trying to think of anything awkward I might have said or done.

Oh, gods! Please tell me I didn't ...

"Work! Work! Work!" the raven squawked.

"All right, already," I growled at the annoying bird.

As I continued down the oak avenue towards the sanctuary, the raven flew ahead and landed on a branch at eye-level. The bird gazed at me and wouldn't move even when I flapped my arms to shoo him away.

I glared at the bird's bright-red eyes. "If you want to talk to me, Lord Darius, do it yourself. Don't send your pet. Face me like a man, or leave me alone."

For a moment, the bird just stared back at me, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Axa gaping at me. Spreading his wings wide and flapping them in an aggressive display, the raven opened his beak and croaked, "As ... you ... wish."

When he flew off with the noisy ruffling of feathers, I watched as the bird disappeared across the castle grounds. I breathed a sigh of relief at the stillness that followed.

"That's bold, Helena!" Axa said, her eyes twinkling at me when I turned to face her. "Or stupid. I'm not sure which."

"Come on," I grumbled. "Let's start harvesting. I don't want to talk about Lord Darius anymore."

"You know, you say that," Axa said as we walked into the clearing, "but every time I mention his name, your heart--"

"Please, Axa, I know you're trying to help, but you're just making it worse."

She turned around and her reptilian pupils narrowed to tiny slits. As she blocked the path with her arms crossed, her shoulder muscles rippled and bulged.

"I can't right now," I added to soften my barbed reply.

"How long have we trained together?" she asked. "Since when do we keep important feelings from each other?"

I drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly as I tried to calm the fury of emotions racing inside my head. "I'm so confused right now that I don't even know what I'm feeling."

"If you talk to me, it could help."

Aware of the fact that she wouldn't let up until I confessed, I gave her a petulant sigh. I cradled my forehead as I tried to think of how to express my conflicting thoughts.

"A part of me misses him even though I don't even know him, which makes no sense."

"Mmm," she said with a thoughtful nod.

"I can't explain it, but I'm not sure I want to open up my psyche to a man shrouded in evil. He's not fully dark, but he hides in the shadows ..."

Handing me a knife to trim the bark, Axa listened and led me into the grove of trees.

"But there's this other part of him--the good part," I continued. "As crazy as it sounds, I feel his presence. All the time as if he's tugging on my soul. When I ignore him, it cuts through my heart like a blade."

"You feel the Longing," Axa said. "The Dragonborn and the Gatál feel the emptiness of loved ones in their souls--churning, burrowing, and carving holes and ruts into their psyche."

I scoffed. "I don't love Darius, Axa."

"No, you don't, but you have feelings for the good part of him, don't you?"

"How do I fix it?" I asked, ignoring her question.

"I carry Xanthia's presence with me wherever I go," Axa said. "But I still miss her. When I can't hold her in my arms at night, it eats away at me. Our happy memories get me through the tough times, though."

My heart clenched at her words--I understood loneliness very well.

"I read her letters before I go to sleep," she continued, "and I remember the scent of rose oil in her hair and the dimples in her cheek when she smiles."

"Does it cure your sadness?" I asked, prying my own chunk somewhat ungracefully from the tree trunk.

"Careful, now, don't be too rough." Axa showed me a better technique with her own knife before she moved on to the next tree, gently prying a perfect slice from the second willow. "To answer your question, it helps, but it don't cure the pain."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Mmm."

"Why did you volunteer to come here?"

Axa turned around and blinked at my forthright question.

"Don't get me wrong--I'm so glad you are," I said. "Who joins this group on purpose when they have such a lovely family back home?"

"I had no choice, Helena," she said, turning away from me and focusing on her work.

"What do you mean?"

She dropped the knife onto the grass and leaned against the trunk. "If I didn't serve, the Gatál would have drafted Xanthia, and she ain't got the strength for fighting."

"You took her place," I breathed.

"Lucky for me, Lord Darius recruited me from Hesse's elite trainee warriors before that bastard made me do any terrible shit."

"He did?"

Axa nodded. "My sacrifice pleased him, and he took me in. Xanthia is a kind soul, but she ain't got magic like most Gatál and ain't got the Dragonborn warrior spirit. She's a writer and an artist--combat would have broken her, and I refuse to let that happen."

Axa is even braver than I thought.

"Lord Darius has his demons, Helena, but no being is perfect."

"Yes, but he--"

"Let me finish," she said. "Sometimes Xanthia stares down into giant pits of despair--that's the curse of an artist. At those times, I have to drag her away from the edge towards solid ground. I have a mouth and a bad temper that Xanthia cools with her radiant light."

"You complement each other."

"And I dare say you can be a stubborn brat who doesn't relent even when she should."

I crossed my arms with a huff. "Some people would call that determination."

"Sometimes there's a fine line between being determined and being a dumb-ass."

"Hey!"

Axa took a quick glance around as though she was making sure no one was listening. "When you make your decision about magic, know this," she said in a solemn tone. "It's not just about you."

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean?"

"We need someone firmly on our side--fighting for us and beside us--who can use magic."

"But James is a wizard too."

"Wizards can work within certain laws." She squeezed my shoulders. "You're the only one who can actually break those laws like the Shadow Riders. One of them could kill us all, and you're the only one who has the power to face them."

I'd never thought of it like that. Deep in thought, I stared out at the mountainous horizon.

"Consider training with Lord Darius," Axa said, giving me a pointed look. "You don't have to adopt his demons or even like the man. Just learn his skills."

Her lips pursed in thought, Axa inspected my work, prodding the pieces of bark with her fingers. "Good work for a first attempt, Helena. Let's get this back to the lab and prep it."

As we walked along the avenue and back to the castle, an unnatural breeze swept through the clearing. I swore I could feel ice-cold fingers touch my shoulder and trace across my back, and I felt that familiar tug in my chest.

___

A/N: Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this chapter, please vote and/or comment. :) Advice and tips are always greatly appreciated as well.

I know the past few chapters have been gentle, but some excitement is coming your way in the next chapter. :D

Please bear in mind that this is a raw, unedited draft, so substantial changes might occur.