* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Staff: No but really, this place gives me the chills, man. Everything's just so... Ominous. The atmosphere is so heavy...

Giratina: Would you mind focusing on the task at hand, please ? I'm asking again, what latte do you want ?

Staff: if Jojo was here, he'd probably just go on an hour long rant about how the hell is there even a cafe inside the tower... But I'm just way too hungry to ponder that, so Imma just take everything that's on the menu, and then some more to go.

Giratina: Big eater, heh ?

Staff: hey, all that mana gonna come from somewhere. And if you think I eat a lot, you're not prepared when you guys are gonna meet Filo.

Giratina: Yeah... About that... "Daughter" of yours... isn't the story kinda complicated ?

Staff: Ah, ya got me... Let's just empty this place's storage, and then I'll tell you some more...

Giratina: *Burp* So, now that they're basically out of business...

Staff: Shouldn't have made it an "All-you-can-eat" buffet. So, right, about Filo... Reassure me, you didn't think I was old enough to be a father, did you ?

Giratina: Jojo's like, 40, and Sans' 60. At this point, I've already stopped assuming people's age by appearance alone.

Staff: Good point. But no, I adopted her. Well, I did raise her from the moment she hatched from her egg, so I suppose that'd make me her father, in a way...

Giratina: You guys' relationship is fucked up.

Staff: I ain't the worse... Far from it... There's Naofumi and his 10 year old raccoon girl that he daughter-zoned despite her clearly being in love with him...

Giratina: ... 10... ?

Staff: There's a good reason we were on bad terms with Motoyasu. But I feel like you don't wanna hear all the sense-warping trauma he went through.

Giratina: ... Looks like losing something dearly to you and having a literal country hate you for no reason aren't on the same level...

Staff: Well, only one's irremediable. Let's roll back to the inn.

Giratina: Roll ?

Staff: ... *burp*

Giratina: Yeah, figure.

Jojo: So, how exactly do you plan on finding what we're looking for ?

Sans: watch. This is a kytri method.

Jojo: Don't you mean tricky ?

Sans: Not tricky, kytri. As in "Kinky Triangulation". Hr- Hm. Lalatina ?

*Distant moan*

Sans: okay, so we note the direction the voice was from, then we do it a bit farther, so we can triangulate her position.

Jojo: You know, this only works as long as the face's not moving, right ? We should probably implement Doppler effect in the equation to determine movement.

Sans: yeah, yeah, that would be better...

Staff: ... ... I don't have the slightest clue as to what they're talking about...

*Just got to College*

Giratina: Are they even speaking the same language as we do ?

*Never finished Highschool*

Sans: So yeah, if we extrapolate with the wavelength and frequency, we should be able to determine the angle of reverberation...

*Went to college, a life as a strategist*

Jojo: Fading of sound goes as square of the distance... With a pressure force of less than 150 pascals, that gives us...

*Degree in astrophysics*

Giratina: ... Should we tell them it's just a straight way through the stairs ?

Staff: Nah... Let them be... We must not feel pity for these unfortunate souls, cursed with knowledge.

Giratina: Maybe we're just the ones being dumb... remember this time you bought an entire sofa and gave it to them as a gift ?

Staff: Hey, Sans loved it !

Jojo: Phew... It took us more time than expected, but now we're certain. Guys, the face is-

Giratina: Up the stairs, we already know.

Staff: It's a straight path, you know ? The only split path was the one we took at the beginning.

Jojo: ... ...

Sans: Hey, we made a mistake on page 54 ! It's not supposed to be a 7, it's supposed to be a 4 ! We need to redo it !

Jojo: ... So, right, we're gonna go up these stairs, take back the face... And then I'll just throw myself over the edge so I don't have to live with the fact I wasted 3 hours doing this...

Giratina: Hey, it could be worse. You could be that guy over there, and trying to strangle yourself to death by chomping a stack of paper.

Sans: *Aggressively gurgling*

Staff: ... We'll just go on ahead, and when you guys are done brooding, you'll catch us, 'k ?

Staff: And so, that's how I caught that MP sweet.

Giratina: I don't even know what's the most unbelievable... the riverside so close, or the sweet in itself.

Staff: Hey man, sometimes, you gotta stop asking yourself questions. "just because" can be quite the answer.

Giratina: Yeah... We had a saying for my girlfriend. Whenever she'd do something incredible, the reason would simply be "Because she's Erza, she's Titania".

Staff: Queen of fairies, huh... So you too fell for a queen.

Giratina: Literal one in your case. But enough treking down memory lane, we've got a princess to save. Lalatina ?

*Moaning*

Staff: She's close by ! Let's go !

Issei: Okay, deep breaths... Princess Darkness ! Raaaargh !!

Issei: Give the princess' face back !!

*No effect*

General: What beauty...

Issei: hey !

*No effect*

General: To think the Dark Lord would grace me with such a face !

Issei: Give it back !

*No effect*

General: This face is mine now ! I'll never give it back !

Issei: Graaaarrrr !!

*No effect*

General: I'll never give it back !!

Issei: Aghhhh...

*Issei Lost...*

Issei: Blurgh...

Staff: Well... Guess it's our turn now !

*Three turns later*

*PLARF*

Darkness: Thank you so much !

Sans: Well... I reckon we over-prepared quite a bit...

Jojo: I reckon we beat his ass, nice and fast ! Now that makes me feel better.

Rance-Sama: Mwaaa ha ha haaaaa ! Oh, you've defeated one of my loyal servants. There goes my good mood... You'll pay for this. Oh yes, you'll pay ! Just you wait ! Mwaaaa ha ha haaa !

Staff: ... So that's a cameo...

Giratina: nevermind that, he fled to the East ! After him !

Issei: Ohhh... Th- Thank you for saving me... But this time I was worse than useless. At least the princess is saved let's check up on her, post-haste !

*PLOP*

Darkness: I am so happy ! Oh, thank you ! You don't know how good it feels to have my face back !

DIO: You've come through for us again, it seems. The lest we can do is reward you !

*Ka-ching*

DIO: We're most impressed with you as well, Issei.

Issei: But, your majesty, I truly did nothing...

DIO: Nonsense, boy ! We saw you rush off to save the princes in her hour of need. And in light of your noble deed... Well, we might see our way to allowing your relationship with the princess.

Issei: ... Oh, Darkness !

Darkness: Oh, Issei !

https://youtu.be/l58Uk6Wlk20

DIO: But honestly, that prince Motoyasu... What a pathetic specimen he turned out to be... *Munch munch munch*

Motoyasu: Grrr ! Mumsy !

Giratina: Well, all's well that ends well, heh ?

Darkness: I'm happiest when I'm with Issei.

Issei: I will protect the princess !

DIO: We are greatly indebted to you. Now give that Dark Lord what for ! Off with you ! *Om nom nom, munch munch munch*

Staff: And off with his head !

Jojo: Haha, guillotine go snap !

Sans: Well then, let's go ! To the arid frontier !

Giratina: And you're not taking the map this time !

Jojo: We finally made it... To the very end of Greenhorne !

Giratina: And ahead of us lies the land of...

Sans: Neksdor !

Staff: Whoever came up with that name deserves a medal ! What sort of place is it, I wonder... ?

Jojo: Surely exciting stuff, that the four of us will discover together !

Giratina: Well, I think I've heard some rumors about Neksdor...

Sans: So what ? Confes s already ! What is it about ? WHERE ARE THE MICROFILMS IVAN ?!

Staff: ... Huh ?

Sans: Sorry, my old job came back. But seriously, what did you hear ?

Giratina: Nah, scratch that, I ain't spoiling it.

Jojo: ... Anyways... Time for us to say farewell to the land of Greenhorne ! And hello to the land of Neksdor ! Let's have a toast for a whole new journey, and another step towards us finally going home !

Sans: Now I get why the marathon was brought up...

All: Cheers !

*Later that night...*

Jojo: Huh... ? Where did everybody go ? I knew I slept better than usual, but this is...

*Oh oh oh ! You're not having the best of times, are you ? The dark Lord Rance-Sama came while your were sleeping, and spirited your friends away !*

Jojo: ... ... WOOOOOHOOOO !! Finally, I got rid of them !!

*You need to save them !! *

Jojo: Ahhh... fret not, I will. For now let me just... Enjoy this, kay ? I'll go after the Dark lord, i'm just gonna... Where the hell are my sword and armor ?!

*i'm amazed you noticed. The rascal placed a curse on you which sealed away your powers as a warrior. So there's that little hurdle.*

Jojo: That could prove to be a minor inconvenience...

*Do not worry. I shall bestow upon you a new power ! Now choose ! I also snuck in some new jobs for you to choose from !*

Jojo: Well... As good as it was, it appears brute strength isn't enough... So, from now on...

Jojo: I shall smithe my enemies with the righteous anger of the god I became in my universe ! No, my calves aren't getting bigger !

*... well. Now go forth, Jojo the cleric ! Chop chop ! Ho ho ho !*

Giratina: uuuggghhh... Where on Earth are we... ?

Sans: the last thing I remember is the Dark lord attacking us...

Staff: that dick must have dropped us down here ! But... Why is there only the three of us here ?

Giratina: Jojo was with Speedwagon... That saved him...

Sans: Then let's not worry too much. He can take care of himself. On the meantime, we should take care of finding our way out !