let me tell you the story about my first date with my emotional supporter - a word I would like to use instead of boyfriend.

he has brown hair, blue eyes and pretty smile. he has golden retriever energy, always smiles and never fails to make me laugh.

he talked to me first, since I don't even know him before. there's something in him that's different from anyone else. we clicked immediately and kept talking for 3 hours straight.

after the first day, I didn't expect him to remember me or even talk to me. but the day after that, when I woke up, I saw his message on top of my notifications, saying "good morning".
(that's the most basic thing a guy should do if he has interest in you, girls, so take notes. if he can't do that, drop him)

he was busy in the morning, so I texted him back in the afternoon. we talked a lot, and he sent me some voice messages.

I swear to god I didn't expect his voice to be so good. it was husky, and it amazed me. I was not ready for it. his voice was some sort of potion that slowly lured me in.

but I've learned my lesson, so this time won't be that easy.

but again, this guy, he really is something. I told him from the beginning, when he started showing his affection, that I won't fall that easily, I don't want to feel miserable for a relationship.

"I don't need you to fall for me fast. I need you to fall hard, so we can be in love."

"I'll date you in the future, so don't you worry"

he replied.

he was there for me every single time I need him, or even if I don't. he understood the bare minimum for a relationship and spoiled me like his little princess. he knew I like his voice, so he recorded something for me whenever he could. he sent me good night and good morning texts, with his voice messages and kisses at the end.

"Slaap lekker lieve schat"

he is such a sweetie.

then, we had our first date, also the first time I met him in real life. his existence was so unreal. he's tall (for sure) and gosh he's the most good looking guy I've ever seen.

he took me to a small cafe, get some coffee and a piece of apple tart so we could share. he told me the day before that he needs to leave after an hour for his work, but he ended up extending the date for two more hours.

we walked around the main station, then sat down at a bench in a less windy place. I sat close to him. he slowly grabbed my hand, then held it, his fingers intertwined with mine. it was pretty cold that day, my hands were freezing, so he held it tightly in his palms, sharing his warmth.

his hands were huge I must say. they were double my size so he could easily hold both my hands with one of his hands only. he pulled me closer, let me lean on his shoulder.

he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. my cheeks couldn't be any hotter, my brain didn't react. he quickly checked and asked if I'm okay, and if he startled me. I shrugged. how could he expect me to be okay after that sweet gesture.

he managed to catch my eyes, and locked his eyes with mine. I could see his beautiful crystal blue eyes, with those dilated pupils. it was obvious to see he's head over heels for me. he kept looking at me, locking eyes with me.

I knew he wanted to kiss me, that gaze was familiar.

I broke the eye contact, trying to make things less awkward. he stood up, right in front of me, and pulled me in his arms. he hugged me tightly, lifted me up a bit, then bent down, whispered in my ear.

"I don't want to, but I need to catch my ride"

it was the time he needed to leave. I saw him off at the platform, he promised to take me on another date. he texted me immediately after he got his seat, reminding me to be careful and not to stand there smiling at his texts.

I went on the date to know if he's sincere or not, and the answer was more than enough for me. I thought I don't have a thing for guys in general (not that I'm a lesbian either), but now I realized I was just not at the right place with the right people for me.

and there he is, unexpected but significant. while talking to him, I think, maybe, I should try.