MOOD: Midnight - Kodaline

Slow Love - MØ

"I'm not even sure where to start," Harry begins nervously. "All of this is so complicated and I just want to make it easy to understand. Because it will sound crazy, Nya. And I don't want you to think I'm crazy." His hands twitch with nervous energy.

"I've told you that I'm not here, from Amberly," he goes on. "I can't tell you exactly where I do come from because it just wouldn't make sense to you right now. But there are other people living there. I'm not the only one." 

"How many people are there?" I ask suddenly, unable to restrain myself from asking a question.

"I can't give you many details - not just for your safety, but for the safety of my people. There's a good amount of us though." Harry wrings his hands together, watching my expression carefully, trying to read my reaction. "I'm not even sure what's going through your mind right now because it must be impossible for you to comprehend anything outside of Amberly."

It is difficult for me to wrap my mind around the idea of anything other than where I live. It's all I've ever been told exists. Something outside of Amberly seems like a myth.

"It's all I've ever known." I shrug to show nonchalance, but on the inside, my body is amped up with nerves and uncertainty. 

"Well there is more out there. A whole world." His eyes light up slightly. 

"Take me with you," I blurt out before giving it much thought.

Harry shifts uncomfortably in the bed and closes his eyes, breathing out deeply. His grip on my hand tightens infinitesimally, but I notice the tension radiating through him.

"I want to. God, I want to. I can't now...it has to be later. But I'm going to get you out of here." His eyes hold so much promise.

I can't imagine actually leaving. What would that even be like? It might be worse than it is here. But then again, I can't imagine anything much worse than feeling caged in day after day.

"But why does it have to be later? And why are there people who think Amberly is so bad?" I had always thought that it was only me who felt this suffocation living here. If there are others like me then maybe I'm not alone. 

Harry takes in a deep breath, preparing himself to say what he needs to get out.

"Amberly is...How can I explain this? Again, I'm trying to make myself sound like a rational human being and not a crazy liar," Harry says, almost pleading with me to believe him before he's even told me. "Amberly is...it's an illusion. I'm not sure how to explain it. There are some things I can't even say without confusing you more, but right now, I can explain to you that you're being held here. You're being controlled and I can't do anything to stop it, Nya. I can't just walk off with you and hope for the best. It doesn't work like that."

Harry hangs his head, clenching his fists by his sides.

"You don't even understand how frustrating it is to see the other side of things and know that you could be in a better place. You can't understand because you don't know yet. It's infuriating."

He's angry - so angry that I think he's going to cry.

"Hey, hey. It's alright." I try to soothe him even though I'm pretty sure I need soothing just as much as he does.

His forehead is wrinkled in frustration and his whole body is tense.

"You're trapped and I can't get you out. It kills me," he fumes. "Amberly...this fucking place. It's an imitation of the real world, but it doesn't even come close to the real thing. You think that you are looking up at the sky. You think you have the freedom to make choices. You think so many things because they want you to believe that you have the ability to make decisions. They are only giving you an illusion of freedom."

He buries his face in his hands and I rub his arm, noticing how his muscles are flexed and hardened.

"Who are they Harry? Who is doing this?" Most of what he said doesn't make sense to me, but I feel like an overload of questions would only make things worse. 

"No, I've already said too much." His jaw clenches. "It would just make things more difficult for you if you knew more."

I stay silent, watching the range of emotions splashing across his face. I don't even know what to think. 

"All I want is to run away with you." His face has lost its hardened look and his focus is only on me. 

He looks desperate, needy. His breaths come out shorter and before I have time to ask him what he's thinking about, he moves closer to me on the bed and the entire mood in the room changes. He needs a distraction. We both do. 

I can't deny that I'm attracted to him and even if I tried to lie to myself, my body would give me away. I want him. Physically, I've always wanted him. And now that I know that he's different from everyone else here and that he might actually see who I am, I can't help myself. He's captivating. 

My heart is already pounding and nothing has even happened between us yet.

I can't stop myself from glancing at the bow-shaped curve to his pink lips. Harry darts his tongue out to lick his bottom lip and before I can look away, his lips are moving toward mine.

"I should've done this last night instead of running from you," he whispers and he's so close that the air from his breath fans across my lips.

Before I'm able to give my reply, Harry presses his lips to mine, gentle at first, and I move my lips against his as we fall in sync with each other. He wraps his arms around my lower back, pulling my waist nearer to him. 

Harry parts his mouth more and moves his tongue along my bottom lip the same way he had when licking his own. I'm breathless, but I need more of him. The rhythm of our kiss escalates and I can tell that if we don't stop soon, there will be no stopping before we go all the way. 

Much to my dismay, Harry pulls away before I'm ready for him to. His lips have reddened and they're slightly swollen. It's a really attractive sight.

"Well," he chuckles and his cheeks are pink from embarrassment. "I really should've stayed last night."

I push him in jest for his comment, but honestly I am content. It's surprising to me that I'm able to feel like this with him. Or with anyone, really. I'd always blamed my independence for my disconnect with Logan. But this, with Harry, showed me that it wasn't my independence that was to blame.

"Can I ask you something?" I say, my voice almost inaudible.

"I never thought I'd hear you ask permission for anything." Harry attempts a weak smile and brings my hand close to his chest. "You can ask me anything. I just can't promise that I'll be able to answer."

"I understand." I nod.

The silence in the room hangs over us, blanketing us in, and making my question that much more difficult to ask. I'm worried to break this silence, worried of the answer he might give me, worried of the possibility of no answer.

"Why me?" I ask in a hushed voice, unable to look into his eyes. "Why are you protecting me and not someone else in Amberly?"

He sucks in a sharp breath.

"I was wondering if you might ask that." He rolls over so that his arms are on either side of my shoulders, supporting himself so he doesn't crush me. "I can't exactly tell you that. But what I can say is that you were intriguing to me, so I chose you."

"Were?" I crinkle my eyebrows in confusion. What has made me less intriguing to him now?

"Well now...now I think that you're more than just intriguing," Harry says shyly with a hint of lust and admiration in his voice.

I don't ask anything else and instead I pull his face down to mine so I can crash my lips to his.

This kiss is hungrier than the last. Harry is still balancing above me and I want to pull him down so I can feel the length of his body against mine. 

Before I get the chance and without warning, there is a knock on my door and Harry and I both freeze.

"Nya, I have your-" Alec walks in and stops midsentence as he takes in the sight of me and Harry in bed together.

His eyes widen drastically, nostrils flaring. Rather than say anything to me, he meets Harry's eyes and glares darkly at him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He growls.