Dear the girl who wishes the best for me,

The life long ban from Quidditch wasn't entirely my fault. We had a match, it was Gryffindor VS Slytherin. Gryffindor won and Slytherin got bitter. The Slytherin Seeker, Malfoy (I bet you're not surprised to hear his name popping up again) was jealous and started throwing insults at me. Normally I'm good at ignoring him. And I was, I was walking away but then he insulted my mother and I lost it. I don't remember much, I just remember punching every bit of his body I could.

I wasn't the only person who got a life long ban, George Weasley got one too. He was helping me by kicking Malfoy. Malfoy had insulted the Weasley family too and that made me equally as angry as when he insulted my mom. Fred, George's twin, was being held back and I think Ron was being held back by Hermione. I'm not entirely sure, like I said I just remember seeing red and then jumping at Malfoy to punch him.

Normally, it would be down to our head of house to decide our punishment. Our head of house is Professor McGonagall but Umbridge decided she would get involved.

You know how Umbridge is a Ministry employee? Well she got permission off the Minister of Magic to be the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts which means she can make these Educational Degrees banning anything she wants. Well she made a new one that week, Educational Degree number twenty five which means she was able to 'strip pupils of their privileges.' Just like normal, Umbridge took advantage of her power and gave me and George the life long ban. She didn't care that Malfoy was also in the wrong, or that he started it. Umbridge loves the Slytherin's and the Slytherin's love Umbridge. They work together to make the school hell.

And I don't see Umbridge leaving Hogwarts any time soon. She loves it here, controlling everyone and everything. She loves the power she has too much. I wish she would leave though.

Stop apologising, alright? Let's just call it even for all the times I lied to you. And trust me, I can't believe you're my girlfriend either.

Yes, the club started because Umbridge still isn't teaching us properly. With times being the way they are, all of us could do with learning practical spells to learn to defend ourselves.

The club wasn't exactly my idea. It was Hermione and Ron's. They decided that I would make a good teacher because I've been in the face of danger and actually know what it's like to fight Voldemort.

I was against it at first, I didn't think I would make a good teacher and I also didn't think anyone would want to listen to a thing I would have to say considering most of the school still thinks me a liar. But then I couldn't get the idea out of my head, I still had my doubts but I agreed to do it and surprisingly a lot of people turned up.

Honestly El, I'm not that good of a teacher, you have way too high expectations of me. But thanks for the compliments, or the flirting. I'm not really sure what it fits under but thanks.

I've now got Ron asking why my face has gone red. He's now trying to snatch your letter out of my hands. I swear he's really annoying sometimes.

As for getting around without teachers knowing, we managed to find a secret room in the castle that no one really knows about. My good friend Dobby helped me find it. It's perfect for practice. And we make sure that the days we meet up for the group are always inconsistent so no one can pick up on the fact a group of students go missing every week at the same time.

The nightmares are a regular occurrence, yes. I hate it because when I played Quidditch I would practice so much that I was so exhausted I would sleep through the whole night but now that's gone, I have the bloody nightmare every night now.

I can't remember if I've ever seen the door before. I don't think I have. And yes, I think it has everything to do with Voldemort. As for seeing what's behind the door, every time I get close to seeing what's behind it, I wake up before I can see anything.

Dumbledore is still ignoring me so no, I can't go and talk to him about it even though right now, I would really like to speak to him. I know he would understand it.

Thank you for the invite but honestly I don't know. I don't know if the Weasley's have plans for me to stay at theirs or if Ron and Hermione want me to stay with them at Hogwarts. I've never not spent a Christmas at Hogwarts.

Besides, I don't think I'd enjoy it all that much knowing the Dursleys are only a few houses away from you.

And its not only that. I don't want to disrupt your Christmas. We would have to come up with a bunch of excuses to tell your parents about me. I would also have to bring my wand with me and if that got found or misplaced and your brother or parents found it, we would have a lot of explaining to do.

As well as this, I don't think its safe. Things are really dangerous at the moment El. When I'm at the Dursleys I'm protected, so nothing can happen to me or the Dursleys. When I'm at Hogwarts, I have the Professors plus other magical enchantments to keep people safe. If I were to go to yours, I would only have my wand and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to any of you. So maybe its for the best if I don't stay at yours so that way I know you're safe.

I am really sorry El, this is not the answer I want to give you either because I miss you like crazy but I just see things going horribly wrong. Maybe I'm finally beginning to go paranoid but I've had this feeling that I just can't shake that something is going to go horribly wrong this year.

Anyway, I hope you had a nice time out with Cass and thank you El, I really appreciate it.

Love,

the boy who wishes he could spend Christmas with you.

(Check out my Min Yoongi fic! :))