Dear the boy who is as far from golden as you can get (You're wrong by the way),

I knew Hedwig would somehow give you a sign that I was alright, that's why I let her go without a reply. It always amazes me at how smart that owl is.

Thank you for understanding. Maybe I should buy you a phone for your birthday and then we would never have to worry about late replies because text messages can be sent in seconds. Though we'd have to work around how magic interferes with technology. We could always text during the summer holidays and then go back to writing letters when you're back at Hogwarts.

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. Your birthday isn't for another 5 months.

Yeah Errol is definitely um...well he's something anyway. He's definitely a determined owl, that's for sure. But although he's unreliable and honestly I always think he's on the brink of death, he's a sweet owl nonetheless. Even though he's late, he gets the job done which is the important thing.

What in the bloody hell was Ron thinking when he named his owl Pig? Like seriously, is that meant to be ironic or something because it's an owl. Would that be like if I named my dog 'cat?' I mean, c'mon Ron, you could've done better than that. I'm disappointed.

Aw, you're telling me you would have pretended to like Valentines day if I was serious about being excited about it? That's seriously really sweet.

But you needn't worry about that because Valentines day makes me want to throw up. Don't get me wrong, I think the idea is cute but when school gets involved they go way too over the top. I also think that some people only go all out on their partners because they feel like they're obligated to because its Valentines day. Like some people use that as an excuse to be sweet for one day and then go back to not caring afterwards.

I've seen it with my own eyes and it's kind of sad. I've seen boyfriends get their girlfriends all excited and hopeful for the day and then when Valentines is over, the boyfriends go back to doing the bare minimum and the girls heart is broken. Don't get me wrong, I've seen the same thing with women doing it to their boyfriends. People are just douchebags in general, regardless of gender. But anyway, I didn't mean for this to be so long. I just wanted to explain why Valentines isn't my favourite day.

You've got me intrigued about what happened in your second year. If it still gives you nightmares, it must've been awful. I'm excited to find out, I'm not going to lie.

Okay, I'm going to finish reading your letter now.

I didn't like Lockhart much after you told me about him but the addition of the pink confetti and the fact that you think Umbridge and Lockhart would've made good friends just makes me dislike him even more.

I mean the fact that he got cupids to go around the school delivering love notes to other students just proves how extra Lockhart was. I mean I would've been in a mixture of amusement and mortification if I were there.

Yes I agree. Your dad had good friends like Remus and Snuffles so I seriously doubt your dad would have been friends with Peter if he was a twat, so yeah I think he was a good person once upon a time too and that the fear of Voldemort made him do all those horrible things.

I mean I obviously know what you look like but no, I don't think you've ever told me that piece of information. At least if you look like them, then you're always carrying around a piece of them with you.

Man if only we knew eachother as kids, I could've convinced my parents to rescue you. Can you imagine that? We could've been like childhood best friends and done everything together. Do you reckon if that actually happened, we would've still ended up dating? Because you know all that stuff about the butterfly effect and if you change the past then it effects everything in the future.

Yeah, you're right. It's easy for me to wish that things had been different but its selfish of me to do so because look at all the things you've gone through. I'm sorry Harry.

But you won't be stuck with the Dursleys forever. And besides, you've got your own family in a way. You've got all the Order, the Weasley's, Remus, Snuffles, Ron, Hermione, The D.A. (I know most of these people are in the Order but I just wanted to show how many people you have by your side :))

You're nothing like Tom, Harry. Even if you and Tom grew up to have practically the same childhoods, you would be nothing alike. You know why? Because you're good and kind and compassionate and you always put others before yourself. You love and you have emotions and people like Tom don't feel stuff like we do. You're empathetic, Harry. That's what sets you apart from Tom, you feel things Harry. You are nothing alike at all.

That's what I'm here for Hazza. I'm here to compliment you and then insult you. Its my job as your girlfriend. It's to keep you humble and grounded. (Kidding. This is why I love you because we can go from being extremely serious to joking about absolutely anything. It's awesome.)

Okay, back to being serious.

Harry I know you're worried and probably scared right now. I also know you're probably feeling really guilty.

This is not you. Okay? You know it's to do with Voldemort and this connection you two share. So if you are acting differently, it's not your fault. It'll all be okay.

Hermione and Ron understand this. This is why they are still by your side. I know for certain that they won't ever leave your side. I know I've only met them once but they truly care about you, just like you care about them, so I know no matter how different you act or how angry you may get (even if it's not your anger) I know they will stick by you.

I also know that although you might be aware of how you've been different these past couple of weeks, I also know that it's not always, Harry, because you've done the D.A and you were fine over Christmas. So just know that this will pass. It may come back again but just remind yourself that these emotions will pass. And plus you've got Snape's lessons to try and help.

I know you feel like Snape is maybe making matters worse, and I know Snape can be a huge dick but I also know that Dumbledore takes Voldemort very seriously, so I know that these lessons must be helping you. Even if you think they are making your scar hurt, it might be a matter of things getting worse before they get better.

You haven't always been like this Harry, that I can promise you. I wouldn't have talked to you for this long if you were a prat.

The next opportunity you get, talk to Ron and Hermione. Apologise and tell them exactly what you've told me. They will understand. They will try to help but ultimately they will know that you really didn't mean to shout at them.

They are probably scared about you like you are scared too. That's probably why they are acting a bit differently.

When you feel one of these moods coming on, or you start to feel irrationally angry, maybe try going for a walk. I know that sounds like the most generic advice I could give but when I used to feel anxious, I used to go for a walk or a bike ride and I'd feel that afterwards I'd feel relaxed.

I would suggest flying but Umbitch has got your broom. Maybe you could borrow someone else's and fly for a bit and see if that helps calm you down.

But like I said, no one blames you Harry. This isn't you. This will pass. I promise. Feeling like this won't last forever and soon you'll get your happy ending. I can't promise when but it'll happen.

Have you told anyone about wanting to attack Dumbledore? Because if I'm being completely honest, that is very worrying. That just proves that that wasn't you. It was Voldemort taking control because I know you look up to Dumbledore a lot. I know the pair of you have a close relationship so I know that attacking him wouldn't just come out of nowhere. If you don't want to talk to anyone about anything else then fine but I strongly suggest you tell someone about wanting to attack Dumbledore because that's not good. It's not good at all.

I told you Hedwig was a smart owl. She sent this probably knowing you were going to destroy this letter. I'm glad she didn't and I'm glad you told me this Harry. If you think I'm going to get scared and run away from you then you are very much mistaken. I'm sticking by you no matter what. I'll be like that Permanent Sticking Charm that's on the portrait of Snuffles' mother.

Everything will be okay.

I love you, golden boy.

Love,

the girl who's sticking by you like a permanent sticking charm :)