^Jeonghan is such a mom

I didnt edit this sorry I'm sleepy af

------------------------

Lia

We arrived at Ulsan by ten. Hoshi cancelled the meeting in the morning, and we all rushed to catch the bus.

The Home was different. Everything was gloomy – how did all of the happiness flip when it was just yesterday they were smiling?

My eyes landed on Shia, staring at her brother. Her only family left was him, they went through hard times together. When their parents left, they stood up for each other, even if the boy was still young.

"Eonnie…" Shia tugs my sleeve. She wasn't crying, her eyed were dry. But surely misery shone in her eyes.

I pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back.

Shia couldn't bear to look at the funeral – she left earlier. I followed her, and we both went to her brother's room.

"Its okay to cry." I say.

Shia didn't reply, but kept going through his old clothes, his books.

"Max was a gifted child," she says, smiling. I agreed.

He was. Max lost his left eye in an accident, but was still able to see with his right. He had lots of talents, mostly art. Shia told me he was different from other kids. Instead of going out and play, he would sit in a corner and draw whatever that crosses his mind.

And his artworks were just a masterpiece.

"Shia, don't hold back, please." I say. It was painful for me to see her smile on her brother's funeral.

"I can't cry," she says "I need to stay strong for him."

"Both of you have stayed strong for too long, sometimes you need to break down and cry."

She hesitated. But soon tears pooled in her eyes without realizing.

"I can't cry," She denies, wiping her tears away furiously using her sleeve "I can't cry…."

• • • • •

We didn't stay long at the Home, though the caretaker did invite us for lunch. Eventually we left after that, to go back.

Shia made me promise to text her lots, and she told me about how Hoshi texted her five minutes after they exchanged numbers, how he started the conversation with just a :3 face.

She even changed his contact name to hoshtokki, which was so cute my feels I can't-

Shia was finally happy — not like fully happy but she healed. Sometimes I would catch her spacing out for no reason, but I just let her be. And Hoshi and his lame jokes are there for her.

We said goodbye and boarded the bus.

Jeonghan ditched me for Seungcheol hyung, and they sat togrther to talk about parental stuff. Maybe. I let them be, Seungcheol hyung ain't that free so consider that he's having some healing time with Jeonghan.

I ended up sitting with Chan at the back of the bus – because he dragged me there – and he told me what his friends told him about Max.

"They said maybe it was a snake," He explains, hands flying all over the place as he went on "there was a bite mark on his right ankle. So maybe it was the snake's venom."

"But that doesn't sound logic? The snake's poison couldn't be that poisonous…are there even snakes in that area?" I say, questioning what Chan said. Chan shrugged as heheaved a sigh, and sunk in his seat.

"Noona," He says "What do you think? Have you ever seen the black mark? It looks so strange…."

Yes I have, Chan. Yes I have.

This time, the police didn't investigate the mark. Compared to my parents' marks, Max's mark was smaller, and a little below his jaw. Nobody would notice with just a glance.

The black mark didn't have an exact shape, and I'm not sure either what it looked like. It seems like a curved hexagon..? I don't know.

But one thing for sure, how was it tatooed there?

"Noona, if you're tired you can go to sleep," Chan pokes my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What? Yeah. Sure. You can sleep too if you want to." I say, patting his back.

"Can I sleep on your shoulder?"

"Sure kid, sure."

• • • • •

Finally, all thirteen of us – including me – gathered at Hoshi's studio, whatever it was called. Hansol named it 'The Tiger's Lair of Swagness', because of Hoshi's eyes and well – his swag? Honestly why is this related to him anyway.

I took a seat next to Minghao after fighting with Jun over who should sit beside him. I won, of course. Chill man its not like I'm gonna take Minghao away from you or something.

"We brought food!" Meanie couple was the last to arrive, with a bunch of plastic bags containing fried chicken. We all cheered, because you know – food.

After we all settled down and gathered at the table, Hoshi's meeting finally started.

"As you all know, my squad and I are making a project for charity this year. To end this year's project, we will top it off with a concert for charity." Hoshi says, writing on the board in front of us "all of you probably know why you guys were chosen."

"Cuz we got the buns for the anaconda." Seungkwan says, placing his right leg on his other.

We all seemed pretty stiff at Seungkwan's answer, but Hansol high fived him and started laughing his ass off. God, what did Hansol teach him? That was lame.

Hoshi coughed, "Anyway, I was planning to hold this concert by the end of summer, so we've got about two weeks of practice. No need to worry for songs, Jihoon's composed them all. So what we're left ro do is write lyrics, and practice."

"We're writing our own songs?" Ask Seokmin.

"Yeah." Woozi answered.

"And raps too." Seungcheol hyung added.

"We'll divide all of you into three groups, vocal, hip hop and performance. I guess all of you already know where you belong to." Hoshi continued.

I raised my hand, "So what do I do?"

"You sort out the stage and stuff. Find a great place to hold the concert, print out some banners or hand out flyers or so on." Hoshi ordered, writing my jobs on the board "oh and make sure to give most of them to schoolgirls. You know how they are."

"Can I be in the vocal team?" Hansol asks.

"Can I switch with Hansol please? I can be Boonon." Seungkwan suddenly stood up and breaks into a rap "I gat nine teen nine peuroblemeu suh bot you won teu be won likeu wot-"

"Hansol stop teaching him Iggy please," I mutter and sigh, shaking my head.

"And its a no to both of you. Anyway, we'll get started by tomorrow, be here at the same time, same place. Amd you, Lia, get to work soon." Hoshi says, finally finishing writing.

"Now, let's have dinner!"

• • • • • 

The chicken was good, of course. Wonwoo told us they bought it at a new chicken place that just opened, and that the first hundred customers got two boxes of chicken for free. Luck is on their side today.

"Ehem," Chan coughs, suddenly standing up and putting a foot on his chair "I have an announcement to make."

We all stared curiously.

"Wonwoo hyung and Mingyu hyung are together."

"WHAT?!" The whole table chorused, hearing Chan's words "WHEN?"

"Lee Chan, I told you to keep your mouth shut!" Mingyu snapped.

"But I just want more people to ship you guys," Chan pouted. Awww child.

"You and Lia shipping us is already enough!" Wonwoo yells.

"Oh and Jeonghan hyung and Lia noona are together too." Chan added. This time, it was my turn to choke.

Seungcheol hyung was the most shocked person among all of us as he heard Chan's words, spitting out his drink.

"Lia you're dating..?" He asks me. I just shrugged.

"Yes we are," Jeonghan answered.

"Oooooooh~" Everyone cooed.

"Yah, how come you guys did the ‘ooooh’ thing to me but not at the Meanie couple?" I ask.

Seungcheol hyung's sobs got louder, and he turned to Hoshi and wiped his snot on his shoulder. Nasty.

"My sister has grown up very well," He sobs more, slamming his head on the table as he cried.

"Hyung stop, okay, stop. You're damn embarrassing." I mutter, rolling my eyes.

Hah. Wait till I tell this people Hansol's got a crush.

"But how come you people don't ship china line? I mean, look at them – they're even feeding each other!" I pointed at those two. All eyes were on them now, and they froze..

"What?" Jun asked.

"Awwwwwwww…"

• • • • •

Seungcheol hyung was a sobbing mess in the car on the way home, so to avoid any deaths from happening, Hansol ended up driving, which was another option to die. Only worse...

"Wah…..our Lia has grown up really well…" He says, patting my shoulder.

"Stop making me feel like I'm five." I say.

"But seriously, how could you not tell me you're together?" Seungcheol hyung eyed me and Jeonghan. He then poked Jeonghan's rib "Yah. You too. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I thought you would be jealous?" Jeonghan answered, questioningly.

"I was about to introduce you to someone but man, Hoshi got her first." I sighed, smiling.

Seungcheol hyung hit my soulder, "Wy did you introduce her to Hoshi? I could've been cuddling with someone right now if you didnt!"

"She's sixteen and you're a grandpa. Find a grandma, geez," I replied "oh and Hansol has a crush."

We almost got into an accident because of my words.

"You idiot! Do you want to die?" Jeonghan yells at me, leaning back as he sighed in relief.

"Blame Hansol! He's the one driving! Yah, don't overreact!" I scolded him.

"Shut up noona, don't tell them!" Hansol says.

"They went on a date a few days ago but I crashed it lol. Anyway, you're the only one solo here, quickly get a girlfriend, you're getting old geez." I turn to Seungcheol hyung, eyeing him up to down.

"Solo solo day, solo solo day gi-" Hansol (no lol HandSoul) starts singing.

"NO." The three of us yelled.

Hansol glanced at us, then focused back on the road as he squeaked, "Why don't they ever like my jams..."

• • • • •

To be very very honest, I was still mad at Jeonghan because of his harsh reaponse this morning.

It was my first time hearing him say that to me. You could say that I'm being overly sensitive and all but really, I was just hurt.

When he talked to me I tried to make myself sound okay, but sometimes I just couldn't look at him without remembering his words.

"Done." I finally sat on the couch as soon as I finished doing the dishes.

I went back inside my bedroom, and my eyes trailed up towards the black feather.

It's gone.

I searched for it, in my bedroom. I couldn't find it.

If I say it was a dream, it's not logic. I counted the feathers, and out of twenty only nineteen was there tied to the dreamcatcher.

"Jeonghan?" I call him, who was lying down on the couch.

"Yes?" He got up.

"Did you like, went inside my room and took something?" I ask.

Jeonghan squinted his eyes, "No, why? Did you lose something?"

"No it's nothing. I asked just in case." I say, closing the door behind me.

That's strange. The feather was there in the middle of the night, when I woke up. Where did it go then?

Someone knocked on my door, and I tapped my cheek softly to stop thinking.

Seungcheol hyung came inside with a box of chocolate milk in his hand, "Hey, I got you this."

"Thanks," I say, poking the straw inside the box "so what's up?"

"Nothing. I just came to check up on you. It's been a long time we haven't talked like this." Seungcheol hyung stretched and placed his hands behind his head, leaning against my chair.

"Yeah. So how's the cafe going?"

"It's good. Aw come on! Let's talk about you and Jeonghan." Seungcheol hyung shivered, looking at me with excitement in his eyes.

I laughed, "Since when did you become such an ahjumma?"

Seungcheol hyung pouted, "Well you were the one who said I was a grandpa after all."

"I think there's not much to talk about me and Jeonghan," I say, putting the milk aside "I mean, we just started."

‘Though I could've just told him about what happened this morning,’ I thought.

Seungcheol hyung got up, "Well its either that or you're the one hiding secrets. Anyways, I think its just because you're sleepy. Night dimwit." He ruffled my hair and left with a smile on his face.

I smiled too. Hyung's been always this simple. Though we never talked much, it was good.

There was a knock on my door again, and this time a wild Jeonghan appears.

Joking. He's got a box in his hand. It looks familiar though.

"Hey," He says, entering my room "I think these are yours, so I think you might want to keep them." Jeonghan placed the box in front of me. Wait…this box…

"Yeah. Thanks." I mutter a bit too quickly.

Jeonghan frowned, "Why were you avoiding me today?"

"I wasn't."

"Yes you were. You barely smiled at me today. Ypu talk way too fast with me. You avoided eye contact," He says, bending down to search for my eyes "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm totally fine," I reply, faking a yawn "maybe I was just tired."

Jeonghan sighed as he took my hand and squeezed them, "If something's bothering you, tell me. I love you." He says, kissing my cheek and left.

"Yeah. Me too." I whisper.

As much as I was tired, I was still curious about the box. It looks strangely familiar, and I started to doubt if it was realy mine because it was antique, the green, floral colour almost fading.

I unlocked the box to find a bunch of papers in front of me.

"Wait…this doesn't seem right…"

I took held one of the papers in my hand, and started reading the messy handwriting scribbled on it.

"Dear Mom…"

The first two words were already enough for me.

I found out the rest of the papers were also letters for people, with ‘Dear …….’ written in the beginning.

But no, this isn't normal. How are these letters here?

I burned all of these letters before I left for Korea.

I remembered. I really burned them. I watched the fire devour the papers – one by one. Why are these here?

"Everything's so confusing…" I whisper, the tears in my eyes were unstoppable. These were the letters that I wrote during my hard times when I was a kid. I got rid of them because I wanted to move on with my life. So why does my old memories keep coming back to me?

"I don't want this." I pushed the box away, out of my sight.

I hated my old memories. I hated how mom and dad fought. I hated hearing her sobs. I hated the fact that dad left mom when I was away. I hated the fact that Jisoo was in pain. I hated everything.

I buried my face in my knees as I cried, the nightmares lingering in my mind.

"Someone please get them away from me…"

------------------------------

Im seriously sleepy

Anyway keep ur thots abt Jeonghan to urself k, no spoilers

@meangyu bro i found the name hoshtokki so cute i couldn't resist using it im sorry

- meh