Well, it looks like a fellow WattPad reader, @korvescence_9, voted on the previous chapter, so let's see what spicy events happen this time, haha xD Thank you, by the way! ~☆
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It's been one whole day since Serah left for Valhalla, and not one word from her. All these thoughts just keep piling up in my mind; Is she safe? Has she found Lightning? Is she on her way back? Did she already die? That last one always almost makes my heart stop. The very thought of my beloved dying makes me want to break down and cry. No, I've got to be strong for her. I promised myself that.

Of course every once in a while my brothers will come and make sure I'm all right, but I always just tell them I'm fine when I'm obviously not. I don't want my brothers to take pity on me when I'm trying to be strong about this. So I just try to pretend that it doesn't matter if I'm alone. "Serah will come back eventually," I always tell them. But even so, they know I'm still hurting inside.

Here I am, trying not to dwell on my lover. Staring outside my room window, I hope to see Serah's beautiful face once again. I knew being tough wasn't going to be easy...

Suddenly feeling like I no longer want to be alone, my legs guide me over to the living room, hoping to see my brothers. On the couch, I see Loz, looking a bit stressed as he fidgets his foot. Slowly walking towards him, I ask, "Is everything all right, brother?"

Loz nearly jumps out of skin the second he hears my voice. He stammers complete nonsense, trying to figure out what to say, I assume.

I cross my arms over my chest. "Loz, use your words."

After taking a deep breath Loz tries again, using actual words this time. "S-sorry. Um, everything's just peachy." He puts on a cheesy smile.

"Where's Kadaj?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

A drop of sweat runs down the side of Loz's face. "Well he's definitely not in the kitchen reading a letter from Valhalla, if that's what you're wondering..."

After staring at Loz for a brief moment, I waste no time rushing into the kitchen. I hear Loz try to stop me, but it's far too late now. Something's going on, and I will figure out what that is. Almost slipping on the kitchen floor, I make my over to Kadaj.

"Let me see that!" I try to grab the letter out of Kadaj's hand, but he swipes it away from me just in time.

"Wait a second, Mary Poppins! I'm not done reading it yet..." Kadaj fires back, his eyes quickly back on the letter.

For some reason I decide to wait for him to finish reading it. Starting to wonder what the heck he just called me, my eyes narrow once again-- but in confusion this time. Kadaj suddenly exhales a long sigh as he sets the letter down on the table.

"Well?" My eyebrow raises.

Before Kadaj can even open his mouth to speak, Loz rushes into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Kadaj! I freaked out and told him everything!"

Kadaj just rolls his eyes. "It's okay, Loz. I was gonna tell him anyway..." He then turns his head back towards me, almost looking nervous -- which is rare for Kadaj. "Yazoo..." he begins. "...On Valhalla, Serah kind of... perished..."

Suddenly it felt like I couldn't even breathe. The exact words that I never wanted to hear just came right out of Kadaj's mouth. No, no, no...

Not even blinking, I look Kadaj straight in the eyes. "You're lying."

Kadaj shakes his head in disagreement and hands me the letter. Hesitantly taking the letter, I carefully read each word in my mind.

This letter is to inform you that Serah Farron, has gotten killed by interfering with the most recent battle on Valhalla. The battle has now concluded, and Serah is currently being put to rest here on Valhalla. My deepest apologies for not being able to protect her the way I should have. I am on my way back home and should arrive by tomorrow. Let's all try to be strong and pray for my dear sister.
Sincerely, Lightning Farron.

Tears fill my eyes as I read each heart-stabbing word. There's no way Serah possibly could've died... Why did this happen? Why is it that every time I find something new to love, it gets taken away from me? First mother, now my lover? Is this truly what I deserve for all the horrible things I did in the past?

Frustration and grief start to boil up inside me. I take the letter in my hand and slam it down on the counter.

"I should have gone with her! No, I should have been the one to die!"

Kadaj carefully approaches behind me. "Yazoo, just calm down..."

"No... I will never calm down! How can you be so calm knowing Serah just died?" As I yell at Kadaj, I am fully aware that I'm losing my mind again. But at the moment, I just don't care. This anger that I'm experiencing is allowing me to say things to Kadaj that I never had the courage to say before.

"You never even cared if Serah died or not, did you?" I continue, in a slightly quieter voice.

"Where did you get that idea? I never said that!" Kadaj yells back, defending himself. "Come on, back me up, Loz!"

"Don't bring Loz into this..." I suddenly demand, leaving Loz with a half open mouth. "All you cared about was Lightning coming back, huh? Well, guess what? You're getting what you want."

Kadaj just stares at me with the most shocked expression I've ever seen on him. I just stare back at him as my tears finally roll down my face like a neverending waterfall. Loz looks back and forth at me and Kadaj.

"So... are we done arguing?" He asks. "You know whenever you guys argue it makes me upset. As if Serah's death isn't upsetting enough..."

"I'm sorry, Loz..." I apologize, barely audible, I'm sure. Wanting to be alone, I walk out of the kitchen and to the front door. I hear Kadaj ask where I'm going, but walk straight out the door anyway. I have no idea where I'm going... I just want to be some place where nobody can listen to me cry. Drowning myself in sorrow is the only thing I feel like doing right now. Without Serah in my life... I feel like I don't even have a reason to live. I felt as though I could move on from all the terrible mistakes I've made as long as Serah was by my side. But now that she's gone... now that she's dead... What purpose do I have in this world?

Please tell me you're not dead, Serah. I know we've had hard times before, but no matter what-- I'd never leave your side. So don't you dare leave mine.

End of part four
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You guys know what to do-- please vote or comment if you'd like me to update ^.^ Thanks a bunch for checking this out ~☆