veda henderson

      It had been a while since I had hallucinations. They started when I moved to Hawkins, something doctors told me was because of trauma or whatever diagnosis they shoved my way. They gave me meds for it, but ultimately they convinced themselves that, because of my Dad's history, it was a genetic thing.

   The med's didn't work when I first took them, the only thing that helped me back to normal was my current self-medication. At first, I only really used purple palm tree delight, but it wasn't working enough for me. 

   That's when Billy Hargrove and his little sister Max Mayfield came to town. Billy was a grade A prick but he introduced me to the world of narcotics and even became my dealer. 

   I was ashamed to admit it, but I remember when he died and my first thought was 'Damn, how will I get shit now?' Billy and I were not friends at all, he was a racist douche with a big ego, but it was fucked up that his death only mattered to me because I was worried about drugs. 

   The thought of drugs almost gave me a ghost of an itch, so deep that it felt like it was beneath the skin of my arms. I was sitting on the border of my small window above my pillows, looking out onto the road and holding my arms close to myself. It was freezing, but my body wouldn't stop producing enough sweat to drown a squirrel so I needed to do something to fix it. I had a shower about ten minutes ago, but I wasn't sure if the dampness of my face was still water. 

   Tucking my damp hair behind my ears, I turn to look inside my bedroom as Dustin quietly walks in. I frown, wondering why he didn't burst in like he usually does, "Need something, Dusty?"

   "Why have you been sneaking out to Eddie's house?" He asked bluntly. The smile on my face dropped, my sleeve-covered hands moving to help hoist myself slightly out of the window so that I was still sitting on it, but with my back to the outside world and my feet handing down beside my pillows.

   "I don't know what you're talking about-"

   "Save me the bullshit, Veda," His stern tone caused me to flinch slightly, furrowing my eyebrows as I looked at him. Dustin doesn't talk like this, especially to me. Yes, he's witty and all but he never really gets angry. Something about this must really make him mad. 

   "What's the problem? Even if I did it's got nothing to do with you," I defend myself, still staying on the window seal but crossing my arms over my chest in comfort. 

   "The problem, V, is that Eddie isn't going to want to hang out with me once my whore sister breaks his heart!" He yelled, stepping closer to my bed. I blinked, tears nearly filling my eyes at his name-calling and assumptions. Fuck, I've been so sensitive this last week.

   "I'm not sleeping with Eddie, Dustin. It's not like that-"

   "Sure it isn't Veda," Dustin laughs, throwing his hands up in the air. "I mean, you'd try to sleep with anyone even your own Fathe-"

   "Shut up!" I yell, my eyes wide with shock and rage as I stand up from my seat, jumping down to the floor and getting closer to my brother. The brother I didn't even realise knew about all of this let alone would use it against me over something so small. "Say another goddamn word and it'll be the last thing you do!"

   The sound of my mother's car distracts me, my head turning to watch through my open window as her biege-coloured car slows down on the road, turning to pull into our driveway which was out of my eyesight. Once the car disappears, I turn around to face Dustin again only to see that he was gone.

   I couldn't control the rage that was bubbling inside of me, replaying Dustin's words over and over again. Before I could tell myself not to, I was storming through my doorway and taking three short steps to Dustin's room across the hall. I didn't bother to knock before I slammed the door open.

   He was sitting at his desk computer, clicking away with a smile on his face before he turned around and saw my face. His smile instantly dropped, his hands moving to take his headphones off and drop them onto his desk before spinning around on his wheelie chair to look at me. "Veda, what's wrong?"

   "What's wrong?" I laugh bitterly, stopping just before his feet as I glared down at him. "Who told you about my Dad, huh?"

   "What about him?" Dustin questions, lifting his shoulders up in confusion. I slam my hand down on his desk, seeing him jump but being too angry to care. 

   "Don't pretend to be stupid, you're a very smart boy, remember?" I mock with a smile, leaning down to get closer to his face. "You think it's okay to use my Dad's abuse against me because you think I'm sleeping with Eddie? Well, guess what Dustin? Eddie sells me drugs every night after hellfire. But, maybe I will sleep with him, y'know, because I'm just such a whore,"

   He went quiet, looking at me as his eyes begin to fill with tears. I frowned, wondering where his stinking attitude went from earlier. "Veda, I had no idea your Dad hurt you,"

   I scoff, pushing my hand off his desk so I could stand up straight, "Whatever, Dustin. You literally just accused me of trying to sleep with my own father and Eddie admitted that you told him about what happened with my Dad," 

   "What are you talking about, I've been playing games since we got home!" Dustin defended, whipping his head back and forth frantically. My chest tightens, my head aching the longer I thought about it. Everything felt so confusing. "I never told Eddie anything, I wouldn't have anything to tell him,"

   My breathing gets heavier the moment I realised my hallucinations had come back and I just admitted a lot of things to my brother that I defiantly shouldn't have. I also yelled at him and scared him for no reason. "Eddie sells you drugs?"

   "No, I-" I stutter, looking around the room as if the walls were rapidly closing in on me. Was the fight with Eddie even real? In reality, he didn't know shit about my Dad. "I have to go. I'll be back before Hellfire,"

   I ignore the sound of him calling my name as I race to my room, shoving my feet into my chuck Taylors and rushing out the door without another word. My Mum walked through the door with her arms full of groceries, furrowing her eyebrows and saying my name as she looked at me. I ignored her, gently brushing past her and out the door where I found Dustin's bike down by the side of the house. I wasted no time before mounting it and speeding off down the empty road

   I screwed up.