We walk in Sammy's cottage and I'm amused by how spacious it is. He welcomes me with a hug and a red cup in his hand and hand it to me, I don't want him to think that I'm rude, so I just take the cup.

"You look so damn fine!" He compliments me as he looks at me from head toe. "Thank you!" I simply response.

He turns his vision onto the group of person behind me, my friends. "Hi guys! Come on in!" He says referring to my friends and I. We walk in and he leads us to the living room.

"You can come into the backyard to have some real party, but it's awfully crowded out there." He says above through the loud music.

I introduce my friends to him, and he gives me a look of confusion when I introduced Nash to him. I'm going to text him my explanation later.

"Let me get my friends." He says and with that he disappears as he walks in the backyard.

We all sit on the couches provided and surprisingly there are red cups and a bottle of vodka is on the table, I'm assuming that this is for us.

"Wow, Sammy is cute." Shaine remarks.

"I totally agree but my Cam is cuter." She's about to kissed Cameron on his lips but he refuse and she end up kissing Cam on his cheek.

Is she doing this on purpose? Because I'm seriously getting hurt. How Casey calls Cam releases the fire that has been sparking up in my head. Hell, they're getting on my nerves.

Sam gets back with three boys and one girl with him. From all of the definitions that Sammy gives me about Nicole, I'm assuming that the girl is Nicole.

Sammy introduced each and everyone of us, and we all end up being friends with each other. We're just talking about our lives, everyone's drinking their vodka and except for me who isn't actually a alcoholic person.

Nicole sits next to me and whispers, "Thank you for everything that you've done for me and Sammy." She serves her smile at me, "That's nothing, but I'm glad you two made up." I response. Nicole is such a nice person, hands down. And she has the features all the girls are dying for.

Out of nowhere Sammy shouts, "Let's play truth or dare!" Each and everyone of us agreed, I have a feeling that this won't turn good.

Sammy spins the bottle and it lands on Casey, "Truth or Dare?" Sam asks.

"Dare." She smiles, "I dare you to kiss who you think the most attractive in this area." He dares.

Sam's dare to Casey shows that my thoughts are correct, This isn't good.

Casey puts her hands on cameron cheeks, and smash her lips against his. As the time gets longer it's getting more intense, Casey pulls herself onto Cameron's lap and grind on it. This is making me sick.

They're surrounded by the chorus of "awhs", I can't get them on my sight anymore, I feel like I'm burning myself alive as I watch them eat each other's faces. I walk out of the living room where the game is being held and search through the crowded area for the kitchen.

I search for a bottle of vodka into the cabinets of the kitchen, and I found one. I fill my red cup with vodka. I drink the cup of vodka, I manage to drink it just to numb myself. I've never drank a vodka before, but I heard that it can make your inner wounds heal for a while.

Seconds later, The clear bottle of vodka is in my hand. I don't care if several person are laughing, talking about me and staring at me right now. I tilt the bottle and take one more drink. The vodka feels hot and it burns my toungue all the way down to my stomach, but I manage to swallow it. It tastes horrible than I had imagined. I can feel the heat in my cheeks and the alcohol running in my veins that grows with each sip of alcohol I'm taking. I have to admit I'm pretty relaxed for once, I feel so great.

I drink more, and it makes me feel great so much more. I don't even know the things that are happening around me for the last few drinks. I take two big drinks of the vodka before it is ripped from my grasp.

"You've had enough." I have to blink several times just to clear my vision and It's Cameron.

"Give it back." I try to reach for the bottle but he's keeping it away from me. I roll my eyes at him and walk out of the cottage, I need air.

The cold breeze hits me, freshing me up. I stumble my foot onto the brick which makes me yell in pain but no one probably heard it due of the loud music.

"You hurt?" I look it back and It's Cameron leaning against the wall. I wouldn't yell if I wasn't hurt. I look at him in anger. This isn't how he supposed to act after all.

He took my first kiss me. My first kiss is speacial, but my first kiss was taken by a douchebag which makes the speciality of it vanish. My first kiss is like the salt, and Cameron is like the water, my first kiss' speciality dissolves in a so-not-perfect timing. I look at him in anger as I try to stand up but I can't. My surroundings are spinning which makes me fell onto the cold concrete.

"Aw!" I whine. I massage my foot that just got stumbled and seconds later, I got thrown into someone's shoulder.

"Let go of me!" I yell at him, I don't have much strength to lose his grip.

I try hitting his back, but it didn't worked out. I just let him carry me because I have no choice but to let him.

We enter the front door of someone's cottage I don't know who owns this cottage. Or this is Andrea's cottage? I don't know what's happening around me anymore, really. The alcohol takes every guts in my body.

"Are you going to rape me?" I blurt out as he lays me down on the bed.

He's about to walk out of the room until I tell him, "Please don't leave me." I want his presence right now, I need him.

He sits down on the edge of my bed until I tap the extra space next to me, gesturing him to lay down beside me. He did what I said.

The feelings that he gives me is irreplaceable, I miss the passion, the heat, and the lust that he gives me, I wrap my arm around him and ask him, "Why did you do that to me?" I miss the warm of his body that makes me feel some type of way.

"I don't understand what you're saying." I look at him, but he's looking at the ceiling not me.

I hop onto his lap, put my hands onto his cheek, and push my lips against his. He's shock, I can feel it, He didn't kissed back. Much to my embarrassment, I get away of his lap and lay next to him.

"You know, I'm fal-" He cuts me off by getting on my lap and crashing his lips against mine, It soon turn into a heated make out session. We change our position which makes me on top of him and him under me, not breaking the kiss. I have no idea what I am doing, but I can't stop.

My mind is no longer in charge, the sensation has taken every part of my mind and body. He pins me onto the bed and plants small kisses onto my neck, I'm sure that it will leave marks later. This feeling is incredible.

I grab ahold of his hair as he gently sucks my skin. I would be extremely embarassed if I'm not drunk by Cameron and the Alcohol. I've never kissed anyone like this before, not even Nash.

Before, I could even stop myself, We're interrupted by someone who barges in to the door. I squint my eyes trying to make my vision clearer, It's Nash.

"Amy?" He's on the verge of crying. His eyes are full of disappointments, I feel bad which makes me escape from my drunk state.

He grabs his duffle bag on the desk next to the door and rush out of the room, What have I done!

I was about to go after him until Cam pulls me back and says, "If you go after him, I'm done with you." He threats.

I look at him in anger and rush after Nash, trying to save I and Nash's relationship.

I catch him up, about to hop in of his car. "Nash!" I yell which makes him stop from his actions. I'm surprised by his expression, his smiling but the tears are on the corners of his eyes. I devastate him. He don't deserve all of this, he's such a great person.

I walk closer to him and hug him as tight as I can, He hugs back in response and I whisper, "Please don't leave me Nash." I cry myself into his shoulder and tighten my grip on him.

He manage to pull away and says, "I'm not, I will always be here for you as your friend." He manage to smile and I know it's fake, We're over.

"Where are you going then?" I ask.

"Home." He tells me, and turn his back on me. I know that his tears are about to fall, he just don't want to show it. He don't deserve all of this!

I pull him back and hug him one more time. "I love you Nash." I tell him, trying to get him back.

He pulls away, and swipe the pads of his thumbs onto my tears stained cheeks. "I love you too, but maybe we aren't meant for each other."

"Don't leave at this hour, please?" I plead, I don't want him to leave at four in the morning, I don't want him to leave my side ever.

"Goodbye Amanda." He kiss my forehead and hop in of his car, I heard the engine on and I watch him leave. He can't leave at this hour. I did my best for him not to leave me, but I guess, my best wasn't good enough.

Seeing him leave, makes me weak. My body collapse onto the cold concrete and just watch for his jeep to disappear. I devastated him, I'm such a fucking idiot.

"Amy!" I look back only to see Cameron running towards me as I fade into black.

...

I wake up, feeling nauseous and my head pounding in pain. I rush to the bathroom, Cameron rush after me and hold my hair up as I puke into the toilet bowl.

Everything flashbacks, I grab a handful of tissue and wipe my mouth with it. My tears run onto my face like a water coming out from the faucet. Cam comforts me by rubbing his warm hands on my back, I want to get rid of his touch on me but I don't think I have enough energy.

Afterwards, I lay on my bed and ask him, "I thought you were done?"

"Yes." He answers, coldly.

"Can you get out of the room?" I plead, I can't look at him.

"I'm not going to leave you in here." I don't have enough energy to have an arguement with him, I don't have enough energy to do something.

"You fucked up my feelings Cameron and basically, my life!" I yell at him, He's pushing me over the edge, so I gather all my energy and yell at him as I stand up from the bed and look at him in disgust.

"Don't blame it on me, Amanda! You're the one who fucking started it last fucking night!" He yells from across the room.

He's right. It's all my fault, I fucked up everyone's lives. I lean against the door and slide down on it as the tears stream down my face.

I grab my duffle bag and shove everything that I owned in it. I hang my duffle bag and purse on my shoulders, then head out the door. I don't care what I am wearing right now or how I look right now, all I want is to get away from everyone. I wanted to be alone. This semestral break was supposed to be fun but I fucked it. Shame on myself!

I'm about to open the front door until Cameron pins me against the door and starts kissing me. I gather my strength and try to get out of his grip, but he's too strong.

As he sucks my skin down my neck, I plead him, "Cameron stop. Please." He stops by the time the words escape from my mouth. I look at him in disgust and slap him, afterwards.

"How dare you!" I spit. I head out the door but he rush after me, again.

"What do you want Cameron?!" I yell in anger.

"Just come back, let's wait for Andrea so we can all go back home." He says as his tantalizing brown eyes softens.

I hug Cameron, and whisper, "I'm sorry." For countless times. I don't want him to leave me, I already lose Nash and I can't take anymore someone's absence. I need somebody to lean on, I don't want to get depressed and do something that I will surely regret.

"Shh," He leads me back into the cottage, then to the bedroom. He makes me lay down on the mattress. I look at him, locking our eyes together.

"I'm sorry." I'm running out of voice, my voice feels broken and husky.

"It's fine." He tells me, as he runs his hand onto my hair.

I reach for him, and kiss him. I need his warmth, his protection. Much to my disappointment, he didn't kiss back. I pin myself onto the bed and turn my back at him as he starts to walk towards the door.

By the time I heard the door clicks, My tears starts to run down my face.

This is all my fault, and I'm cosidering myself as a whore now for ruining my relationship with Nash, It has ups and downs, but we solve it together and motivate ourselves to stay strong. This isn't one of I and Nash's downs, The ride has ended and I basically need to move on with my life. I ended this ride, I killed my relationship with Nash, and I totally fucked up Nash's feelings and emotions. I ruined him, I devastated him.

I want someone's special presence, but they all left me. Leaving me alone totally hurt, in pain, messed up and devastated but I did this to myself, It's nobody's fault but me.

...

I wake up and look at the clock across the room, I didn't realized that I dozed off.

The clock says it's six in the evening, Someone knocks on my door. I don't want to release any words from my mouth.

"I'm going to come in." It's Andrea.

I turn my back onto the door, I don't want her to see my eyes sore and the redness all over my face. I heard the door creaks open and the footsteps coming towards me. I feel her presence as she sits next to me.

She puts her hand on my arm and asks, "Are you fine?"

She asks me as if It isn't a hard question. I don't think the feelings that I feel right now has an answer to that question, I feel numb than before, I don't feel pain nor rejection. All I feel is numbness spreading in me.

"Yeah." I croak, my throat hurts so bad.

"Stop lying." She grabs my arm and try to turn my face to her, but I didn't let her. I've gained strength, while I was asleep.

"I'm not, just go away." I shoo. Earlier, I need someone's presence, but It faded away while I was out from reality.

She sighs and gets up from the mattress, she soon leaves the room.

Seconds later, I find myself into the shower, soaking myself with water, and soon wash myself with soap and water. I have to get away from this mess, and maybe move on with everything that's happening around me.

I get out of the shower and change myself into a pair of spandex and an oversized sweater. Even though, I'm not going anywhere, I want myself to look presentable, not like a person who has been drugged.

I cover my imperfections with make up, and put on a pair of fuzzy socks onto my feet. I look at myself onto the mirror and force myself to smile.

The puffiness around my eyes and the redness all over my cheeks and nose are now covered with makeup. I head out the room, then make my way into the dining area.

"May I join in?" I ask.

They all looks surprised by my presence, they all look at me with stunned in themselves.

I smile at them, and sits next to Andrea. Before the dinner to start, we all thank god with all the foods on our table and for holding out his hand to save me from depression.

************************************************
A/N: I'm sorry for all "Namy" shippers for now. But, stay tuned to keep in touch with Amanda's life. Bunch of Chapters coming next week! 🎉🎉🎉

All the love, Ashley ❤️