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"Why would you even consider doing something like that?" Namjoon asked me as he leaned over the kitchen counter. It was Saturday, the next morning from the night I'd tried to go out with Jiho. We'd just finished a silent breakfast. The whole room was tense, since Namjoon and Hoseok had been speechless the whole morning.

I closed my eyes, hoping none of the boys would see me. I was facing Joon, who was leaning over the kitchen counter as I sat in a bar stool.

I gave him an expression that I was serious, about him dropping the subject.

But he wasn't going to do that. "What would make you so crazy as to think you could sneak out of the house?"

"Hm? What did Sujin do?" Jin asked as he entered the kitchen and grabbed a box of cereal from the counter.

Though I couldn't see them, I could tell from the silence that Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok had tuned into the conversation.

"You've never done anything like this before, and I want to know what drove you to think sneaking out of the house at three in the morning was okay."

My teeth clenched as heat rose to my cheeks. Not in front of the others. Not in front of the others.

"Kid, aren't you going to explain?"

Finally, I shrugged. "I don't know."

It felt so bad, so disgusting to be in this place. I'd done something wrong.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Ever since she started hanging out with that dumbo boy," Yoongi said under his breath as he, too, entered the kitchen.

"I literally only tried, like, that night." I wrung my sweaty hands together, trying not to imagine the faces of my brothers who were behind me.

"Then I'll ask again, why did you think it was okay?"

At that point, Jin had clasped his hands together, leaning on the counter as well with a concerned look on his face.

"Look I'm sorry," I tried to plead, ignoring my voice as it cracked.

"You lied the other night too! I bet that's why I found you entering the kitchen the night before. You really left, didn't you? You didn't have a bad dream like you said you had, you lied. Where did you go with him? Don't you know how dangerous that was? Not only if we could really trust him, but the other people around you at that time of night."

There was nothing else I could say. I was scared.

"Sorry, Namjoon, I'm sorry."

Tears collected in my eyes. I really didn't want to cry but I was starting to feel bad. I was in trouble, and I was feeling it. So there wasn't much else I could do. There wasn't a way to keep my emotions in.

"I won't do it again, I'm sorry." Namjoon drew in a breath, and Jin's gaze never left me. "What else do you want me to say?" I asked. "I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry just please forgive me, I'm sorry."

My lip trembled as I tried to wipe the tears that came down my cheeks. With a shuddering breath, I stood from my place on the stool, and tried not to meet eyes with any of the other members as I went upstairs and to my room without another word from anyone.

As soon as I got on my bed with my door closed and locked behind me, I let the tears fall. I was so embarrassed, and felt disgusted in myself. There was nothing worse in the world than knowing I'd done something wrong, and that the boys were yet again disappointed in me. I knew what I did was wrong, and I felt so bad. But I didn't know how to make it up to them, or how to apologise.

It was also the day of the dance. Namjoon had taken my phone the night before, so I hadn't been able to say a single word to Jiho, or talk to him about how I never made it outside to meet him. That just added to the pain that was shredding my heart. I'd completely abandoned him and left him to believe I just didn't care enough to come.

Not only that, but without a phone, I was positive there was no way I was making it to the dance. My first high school dance, with the first boy I really loved. It wasn't going to be disappointing just to me, it was going to hurt him. Hurting Jiho was something I couldn't even imagine.

At about noon, Taehyung knocked on my door and told me they were heading to the company building for an online interview, and asked if I needed anything. I told him I was fine, and he said the others wanted to talk to me when they got back. Instead of a groan, I kept silent until he said they were leaving and I watched them drive away.

The back of my mind and heart was heavy, so I decided to distract myself.

My expert distraction was to go downstairs and bake something, while hoping they wouldn't mind me using the oven by myself. I promised myself I'd be more careful, as to not have an emergency while they were gone. Maybe a fresh loaf of lemon pound cake would help conversation flow better later.

Once the batter was in a pan and placed inside the oven, I set a timer and went back upstairs to cozy up in bed and read a book.

About half an hour later, I was about to put the bookmark in at the end of the chapter when my door burst open, and a sweating Jimin and Taehyung almost tripped over each other as they came into my room.

"What are you doing in bed?" Jimin asked. I looked at him, confused, before trying to respond.

"I was just-"

"It's almost time for the dance. Isn't it in, like, two hours?"

"Well when you- they- Namjoon and Hoseok took my phone away, I kind of assumed I wasn't going..."

"You're not gonna leave Jiho hanging are you? Get your butt downstairs, Namjoon wants to talk to you about it."

"What?"

"Don't question us, you only have two hours to get ready!"

"Oh." I put my book down on my bed and hurried to my door. "You're sure? What did Namjoon say?"

"Does it matter what Namjoon said? We all want you to go, and we've been planning this for a while," Jimin explained as we walked downstairs.

As soon as I entered the living room, I had to cover my mouth. Jin was wrestling with a large garment protector. Through the matte plastic, I could see the deep royal purple silk fabric woven, cut, sewn, and bedazzled into the dress I'd seen that one day while passing a store by car with Jungkook.

"Why did you buy it?" I asked, slowly walking over to Jin.

"Jungkook mentioned you liking it the other day, and we knew the dance was coming up," Yoongi explained. "Hoseok and Jimin checked it out and saw the price was a little out of your range, but it was easy to match the price with seven people pooling in."

"You all?" I asked, looking around at the grinning faces of my brothers. "You all helped buy it? For me? For the dance?"

Namjoon laughed, "Well, of course, it's the perfect color for you. You can wear it for other things, too. We were going to get you a nice dress soon enough, and this was the perfect opportunity. Go have fun at your first high school dance."

"But..." I unzipped the garment protector and peeked inside, "Why are you letting me go? Especially since it's with... Jiho." I could barely say his name, almost as if I feared it'd remind them of how disappointed they were in me.

Hoseok handed me my phone, and I looked up at him in surprise. "Tell Jiho you're coming. We can talk about it all later. Jungkook's going anyway, you just need to follow a few rules we set and your brother will be there to enforce them."

"Wow... Of course, of course! Thank you so much." Hopping into Hoseok's arms, I gave him a hug before doing so for the rest of the members too.

--------

"Wait," I said, squinting at Jungkook's neatly ironed suit and tie. "Jungkook is really going? Does he have a date? As in a girl, who he actually talks to?"

"Pabo," he said, flicking my forehead, "I have friends. We're all meeting up there, so of course I'm going."

"Oh," I snickered, "so he still can't talk to girls."

"Ya, really?" he whined. I rolled my eyes and finished the last bite of pizza I had on my plate.

"Has Jiho responded to you yet?" Jimin asked from across the table.

"No," I said, pulling out my phone. "He hasn't said anything all day..." As my messaging app loaded, I twiddled my fingers. It was probably because of the night before, and because I hadn' t shown up. I hoped he wasn't mad, or hurt. My chances were that he was, but I wasn't going to give up and hope he would still be at the dance.

"Maybe you should drop by his house on the way there?" Yoongi suggested as he put his dishes away.

"Mm, maybe... I just don't want to. Jungkook, could you run up to his house?"

"Why me? You don't want to?"

"No, it'd be weird to just show up in this dress and all, I just want to meet him at the school."

"Ah, I understand that dongsaeng," Hobi laughed. "Would you, Jungkook?"

"Sure," my brother shrugged.

After he left, I debated what size of a bag or purse would be efficient and comfortable for the night. I was trying to stuff my phone, lipstick, some gum, wireless earbuds, and a face mask into a handbag. It clearly wasn't working.

"Drop the earbuds and lip color," Jimin suggested, "Jungkook's back and I don't think you need all that stuff. Watch us boys go somewhere with a phone in our pockets and nothing else."

"That's because you're guys, and you don't get worried about being underprepared."

"It's a dance! You need your phone in case you need to call us and what else?"

I shook my head. "It's a lady thing, Jimin."

"Well figure something out, because you guys need to leave."

Jungkook placed his keys on the table as he entered the room. "No one responded to the door, and Jiho's car was gone... So he might be there already."

"Oh." The thought of no one showing up at his house worried me, but Kook was right. It could mean he was already there.

"Alright, let's give it a shot." I stood and tried once more to zip the bag closed.

"Here," Namjoon said, handing me a slightly larger purple purse in a brighter color than the dress. "It's from Taehyung. He got caught up in something, but wanted to wish you well."

"Oh." I looked at the bag a moment before taking it. "Thank you Joon." He took the hand bag and dumped the contents comfortably into the new one.

"Are you ready?" Jungkook asked, and I nodded. After final goodbyes to the members, we headed out to the company sedan.

It was hard to sit still as we started to drive the short distance to the school. Once again, Hoseok had helped me with my hair and Jimin and Jungkook had done my makeup. My leg bounced on the bottom of the car and we arrived quickly. We parked behind the elementary school that was in the line of blocks that contained all of the levels of school, because it had the largest gym and was where the dance was being held.

I grabbed Jungkook's hand as we walked to the doors, and the butterflies only got worse. My brother must've noticed it, because he reassured me, telling me I was going to have a lot of fun and that I should feel lucky I had a boy to hang around with. He told me to find him if I needed anything, and to enjoy the time I had before the other boys would possibly strip me of my privileges again. I thanked him before heading in right beside him.

It wasn't hard to remember Jiho's statement about the dance being a p(izza bois)aparazzi opportunity, because there were cameras. Plenty of cameras. Walking in with Jungkook of BTS wasn't going to help the fact, but I was actually pretty thankful he didn't have a date, so I wasn't walking in as the adopted sister of BTS who couldn't find her date until she got there. At least, I hoped.

My breath was still- I tried to hold it as we slowly climbed our way through the pathway lined with cameras, microphones, and talking reporters. I smiled and waved at a few of them, as I'd seen my brothers do countless times. It was a breath of fresh air when we finally entered the school and there were less reporters. An occasional camera was spotted here and there, capturing the breathtaking transformation of the school's gym.

The walls were lined with colorful tissue paper and balloons were tied to weights in every corner. Confetti littered the floors and floated around people's feet, and every strand of each student's hair was neatly combed, matching the flawless makeup that must've taken everyone plenty of time. Dresses and suits were the style being sported by everyone in the room, and seemed to match the colorful lights coming from the ceilings and shining down on everyone like they were idols- in which, many of them were. The only people out of place were the few reporters here and there, filming the dancing couples, chatting groups of friends, and those sitting in the tables outlining the large gym.

"Well shoot," I said, taking the whole scene in. It made me want to inch closer to Jungkook again for comfort.

"I can stay with you until you find Jiho," he offered over the almost blaring music.

"Thanks. I'll look around a bit from here."

We found a corner of the hall, right in front of the entryway to the gym. I watched the people walking in, and tried to get a look of all those who were already in the gym eating or dancing. But none of them were Jiho, or even his sister, who I wondered would even be there in the first place anyways.

Jungkook advised me to text Jiho again, so I did. After another ten minutes, my brother was getting impatient and ready to hang out with his friends, so I opted to sit at a table with a few of his buddies while he ran off with the others. My phone was glued to my hand and my eyes the whole time, waiting for a ding, an answer from Minie or Jiho. I really thought he'd be here. We'd been planning it for so long, and even though I'd stood him up the night before, that was unintentional, and he hadn't said he didn't want to go to the dance anymore.

As I looked around at all the smiling couples, the groups of friends, the laughter coming from all the other high school students enjoying their time together, it just didn't feel right. It hurt. I wanted that, I wanted someone. I wanted to belong here and have a place and have fun. But Jiho wasn't coming, and I wasn't going to get it. It was going to be too good to be true, anyways. I wasn't sure why I believed it could in the first place.

I got up from my seat, told one of Jungkook's friends I was going to the bathroom, and went out the door, down a few of the familiar school halls and to the nearest bathroom, the one by the elementary school entrance. High schoolers always had a problem with the little kids, so I knew no one would be occupying these ones.

Once I reached the door, I found it was locked. With a grunt, I took a step back and leaned against the wall, letting out a deep breath. Down the hall, more people were arriving and leaving, the excited cheers of the dance were ringing from all around.

Lightly running circles above my eyes, I massaged my face for a while, trying to really decide what to do. It just felt like a mess that I'd put myself into.

My body tensed when I felt someone walking towards me. For a tiny, flittering, hopeful second, I realized Jiho might have made it.

A/N: I had such a hard time writing this because I couldn't help but remember my first dance experience and I thought it was a perfect day, but you know, a lot of heartbreak came right after that, so. I had to stop and take a few breaths every few sentences. This goes for the next chapter too lol, especially the next one. But you know, we all good, cuz we all need Jungkook and he's just the sweetest. I totally think this is something he'd do for a sibling or even very close friend. I'm glad I got to write it. It was so fun and healing for me.

A/N 2; so I wrote the first A/N a couple months ago when I wrote this chapter. So I guess I should take some of that back. Some memories are hard, and they will always be hard. Even if whatever the problem was is resolved. And that's okay. Just wanted to get that out there. After author-nim got back with an ex, she still hurts sometimes when she thinks of the old memories and the first breakup. She is still moving on. And that's okay. As long as you can accept it and be happy where you were, you can honor the pain. It's not as bad now that I'm in a better place in the situation, I'm in the place I was hoping for, for so long. 

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk.

Also this Wednesday marks one year from the finishing of writing Book 1 of this series! I do hope to finish writing the second one very fast! But you've all got several updates before this book is done, so no worries. And there will be a third book in the series with a whole new conflict and all that jazz...

Stay safe, happy, and healthy! Have a good week!

-Rose